Tunnel Rat

I

"What a pathetic bunch of limp-tails? What whelp-master let you bunch leave the nest so young? Was he tired of your mewling and complaining? I've never seen such a lousy crop of new recruits. Drop and give me fifty! And if they aren't good, I'll be chopping off some tails to lighten the load."

Gilad Tail-Master stalked off and allowed himself a sip of water. He was a large and warlike ratkin just starting to go grey. No one who saw him move would ever think of him as old.

"They that bad, boss?" The speaker was a younger ratkin wearing heavy armor and a helmet. A large polearm leaned against the bench he was sitting on.

Gilad lowered his voice. "Yes and no. They all start out crappy. No training and not enough exercise. I'll get them straightened out so they can at least hold a spot in formation and maybe kill something."

"The problem is the new ones. The whelps that just show up out of nowhere with weird names and bad attitudes? Where the hell are they all coming from? There can't be that many nests out in the wild, could there? I think some will work out. A few are born killers that can't wait to go out and fight. But the questions they ask? It's insane! 'What good is tail-fighting if I have two swords already?' A lot of inbreeding in those nests, that's what I think."

Justin nodded. He'd noticed that too. "I'm worried about the ones that get some money. Most of them are spending every last cent on cheese. It's like no one taught them discipline. We may be looking at an entire generation of Cheese-Fiends. I thought Larry was bad, but can you imagine several Larrys?" He shuddered

Gilad smiled evilly. "In that case, I know a few lizard and spider colonies that are getting pretty large and talking trash. I wonder how they'd like to have a full front line of Cheese-Fiends tear into them?"

Justin blanched. "Please tell me you are joking?"

Gilad let himself enjoy the thought for a few more seconds. "Of course, I am. Berserkers are bad for everyone." He looked over to where a half-dozen recruits were dutifully doing pushups, and another half-dozen were laying on the ground, bitching about life. "Still...maybe I could use Larry as a sparring partner for some of them later. What do you think? Six of the new guys vs. Larry?"

Justin stood and grabbed his polearm. "I'm on shift in five minutes, but if you decide to do it, I'll put 10 shinies on Larry, and I don't care about the odds."

Gilad stroked his chin. "Yeah, getting someone to bet against Larry will be the tough part."

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Justin marched away to his post at the entrance of the village, and Gilad went over to 'encourage' the slackers to finish their exercises. He barely looked over at the tall tower that rose to the ceiling of the cave, as it spat forth thunderous bolts of lightning across the cavern, shaking the whole village. Another day, and another fight between Arlothe and Blackmold. He prayed to the under-rodent that some of this crew showed a talent for magic and gave those two something to do.

A breeze brought him the delicious smell of fried mushrooms and crumbly bleu cheese. The chef must be cooking up something tasty. The only thing that kept Justin from walking into the building for a snack was the knowledge that being on time for guard duty would get him a free meal later in the day. The voice of his old trainer came to him. "Master the cheese or the cheese will master you." One had only to look at Larry sitting on a rock in front of the building, his mutated body quivering and his nose constantly sniffing the air. Larry served the village in two ways: Firstly, he was a great example of what happened to cheese addicts. Secondly, he was six-hundred pounds of unbridled murder-machine when someone threatened the village. All it took was one piece of cheddar for Larry, and a second tossed at the enemy. Larry saved a lot of lives that would otherwise be lost fighting intruders.

Brutus was at his post when Justin arrived. They guarded the entrance to the Hollow. The small cave had only two entrances. One led to the Hollow, and one to the mine complex beyond, and the massive tunnel a wandering world-boss had dug. They'd had a lot of trouble lately from that. Cave-Mantis were multiplying again, slimes kept showing up on their doorstep heading for the smell of food coming from the Hollow, and worst of all: Humans were coming in groups to 'check things out'. They'd beat off attacks by several groups so far, and sent more than three dozen off on quests to prove their worthiness and loyalty. Only a couple had come back so far and gained entrance.

Brutus was about to head up-tunnel and get his dinner when he paused and stared at the darkness. "Oh, look there! We have a sneaky one skulking along the outside wall."

It took a few seconds for Justin to spot him, he had some mildly good stealth skills. "He's got more than skulking going on, I bet if my perception was a bit lower, I couldn't even see him. Hey, I've got an idea. Let's pretend we don't see him at all, until he gets here!"

Brutus straightened up and went to attention, staring straight ahead. "Oh, I love playing surprise”.