Trash of the Royal Castle

Fun Fact about myself, Art doesn't interest me.

Why should I care for some painting of some merchant's wife?

It's just colors on a canvas, it doesn't impact my life in any shape or form, so why should I care?

Simple, I don't.

However!

High-Class ponies, the one percent, the top of the top! They LOVE talking about art, they love discussing the deeper meaning behind this painting and the emotions the artist must have felt whilst making it.

It's all bullshit.

But in order to blend in, and keep the facade of a "Prince," I'll have to play along.

I managed to escape the boring art tour, But I can't just go back to the castle, That would make Celestia suspicious.

So here I am, staring at a statue of a pony sitting in a "The Thinker" pose.

How wonderful.

----------------------------------------------

"Boys, remember the plan," An Earth Pony carrying a box of maintenance tools said as he and his group strolled into the museum, past the check-in and security. 

Step one of the plan.

"We act like we belong, and take the painting, no funny business. Understood?" He asked, receiving nods from his partners.

And so they walked towards the painting section, placed the ladder under a ceiling light in front of the doorway to the small area where the expensive paintings stood, closing off one of two entrances in the process. 

That was step 2 of the plan.

While one of the ponies worked on the ceiling light, blocking the path for security in case they'll need to run, The Pegasus of the group silently flew near the ceiling, above the eye-line of the few denizens of the gallery, and one by one disabled the security cameras. 

Step 3 was complete.

Now was time for step 4, Using the maintenance tools, it was up to the two remaining Earth Ponies to quickly unscrew the latch holding the glass screen over the painting, keeping the artwork secure from the grasp of ponies.

For that reason, the Museum used special bolts that require a specific type of screwdriver to unscrew.

But the thieves came prepared, opening the toolbox, one of the duo took out a spray bottle with a clear liquid inside, while the other took a small device that looked like a mechanical pen.

Spraying the liquid on the screws, the thieves gently placed the device above the metal of the screws, holding it in place before they heard a light PING.

"It's in," The one holding the spray bottle said, causing the one holding the device to start turning it like a screwdriver.

After a minute of careful turning, a screw fell off the casing of the painting.

One down, three to go.

Everything was going as planned, everything was perfect, and soon they'll leave the museum as rich men.

"Hey kid, what do you think this Painting means?" The thief holding the special screwdriver heard one of the visitors of the museum ask another, a few meters away.

"Uh, Mum told me not to speak with strangers, mister." The child said, a foreign accent on his tongue.

"I see, My name is Blueblood, Now I'm not a stranger anymore," Wasn't that the name of Celestia's Nephew? Nah, must be a coincidence. The thief kept unscrewing the casing.

"Oh, Okay! My name is Pip Pinto Squeak, but everypony calls me Pipsqueak!" The colt said loudly, causing the Pegasus to nearly fall back onto the floor, but he managed to stop himself and return to silently moving near the ceiling. Only a few cameras left.

"Yes, Okay, Nice to meet you and all that, please answer my previous question," The pony who shared a name with a prince pointed to the painting he was talking about.

"Umm... It's called The Card Players, so it's about a game of cards. I'm sorry, My mum is the one you should ask," The colt said before the adult stopped him from leaving.

"No, I want to ask you specifically because you're unsure," He said, catching the attention of not only the colt but also the thief holding the mechanical device, "You do not know much about art or the intrinsic details behind the craft-work of these masterpieces, but by not knowing, you learn more from these works of art than any other."

"Really?" Pip asked as he looked up at the Stallion that started talking with him about the paintings.

"Hey," The thief suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder, seeing his partner with the spray bottle, "Why aren't you twisting? We don't have all day," The thief blinked before noticing he stopped unscrewing the painting as he listened to the two strangers talk about art.

Taking a look at the painting he was trying to steal, a classic of a Unicorn mare sleeping in her bed, the sheets messy as if she turned in her sleep from experiencing a bad dream.

The Dreamer, it was called, was estimated to be worth 300 million bits.

"Now, let's try a different painting?" Blueblood asked Pip, receiving a nod in response as the duo walked closer to the two thieves in front of the painting.

"Excuse me, good sir, would you mind moving aside so we could look at the painting?" He asked as he approached the duo in front of the painting.

"No, now scram." The one holding the spray bottle responded, catching the attention of both The Pegasus who just finished covering the cameras, and the third Earth Pony, who got off the ladder to stretch his legs.

"That's rude, Do you not know who I am?" He asked, and in response, the Thief with the device stopped unscrewing the case and turned to look.

It was Prince Blueblood.

Not a pony who simply shared the same name as the prince, no. It was Celestia's Nephew himself.

"Shit,"

"I don't care who you are, we're busy here, Scram." The thief who unscrewed the case wanted to stop his partner from digging a deeper hole for himself, but couldn't do so as he spotted the Pegasus of his group positioning himself directly above the Unicorn, intent to drop on him in case he continued to cause trouble.

Looking behind him, he spotted the thief on Ladder duty take out a small hammer from a pocket in his safety vest and start walking towards the group.

"I signed up for the painting, not an assault on the crown, I'm out of here!" He thought to himself as he quickly placed his device back in the toolbox and start walking away from the painting.

"And where do you think you're going?" Spray bottle asked him, "We're not done here, If you walk outta those doors you're not getting a bit, you hear?" Device nodded his head and quickly left, Another year in a dead-end job is better than life in the slammer.

-------------------------------------

Spray Bottle clicked his tongue in frustration before turning back to Blueblood and Pip, "Look, I told you to scram, didn't I? If you keep standing there like some idiot you can't blame me for what'll happen."

Seeing the angry ponies gathering around him, Pip huddled closer to Minster Blueblood and turned his head up to speak with him, only to spot another Pony directly above them ready to drop.

"Mister Blueblood!" He yelled, trying to alert the Unicorn of the pony, which instead caused the Pegasus above them to drop down on the unicorn's back, slamming him into the floor.

"Enough games!" Spray Bottle yelled, causing the few other visitors to run away from the commotion that was happening.

"Grab that painting and let's get out of here!"

--------------------------------------

Fleur De Lis wasn't having a good time, the art gallery that she and her husband spent almost a month getting ready was a monumental failure.

"Enough Games!" That was until she heard a muffled shout from a different part of the museum, which caught the attention of everyone in her exhibit.

"What was that?"

---------------------------------------

"Did they just slam me into the ground?" I mentally asked myself as I lay on the floor of the Museum, a heavy feathered body holding me down as the two goons with hard hats try and rip a reinforced glass casing off the wall using sheer brute strength.

They did, didn't they? They slammed me into the ground.

They slammed me.

"Hey! Let go of him!" I heard the little kid I just met yell before feeling the body on top of me move slightly as if pushed by a child.

"I said!" Pip yelled again as he started to push harder, "Let go!"

"Scram!" The Pegasus seemed to have enough of the kid trying to push him around, as he swiped his front leg into Pip's face, throwing him off to roll on the floor.

A small trail of blood dripping from his nose.

---------------------------------------------

Spray Bottle watched from the corner of his eye as the annoying colt was thrown off his pal, likely breaking his nose as a result.

No problem, nobody needed him to play hero, should have left the grown-ups to do their jobs.

"Hey stop struggling!" The Pegasus yelled before a loud crashing sound could be heard from his direction, causing Spray Bottle to once more look away from the painting, leaving Ladder Duty to take care of it.

"What are you- doing now?" He stopped talking when he saw the blonde Unicorn that annoyed them stand up from the floor, his blonde hair dropping onto his face, making it hard to see his eyes, and the scarf that was around his neck moments prior now held in his hooves, the clothing accessory wrapped firmly around the neck of the Pegasus, who was struggling to get it off.

"L-let go of me," The Pegasus choked as the scarf got tighter and tighter around his neck.

"Hey!" Spray Bottle yelled, catching the Unicorn's attention.

He almost paused when he spotted the bloodshot eyes on the stallion, but decided that helping his partner was more important than the eyes of some idiot.

He threw his right hoof towards the unicorn's face, a smile on his face at the thought of that nuisance leaving him to steal the painting in peace.

He started to frown when he didn't feel an impact, moving his head to see what was going on, he was greeted with a powerful glare, his hoof held in a telekinetic hold, and a glowing horn.

"Shit,"

-------------------------------------------

Seeing all the ponies running out of the Expensive painting room, A single mother turned to ask one of the guests What was going on?

"There's some sort of fight going on, Why isn't security doing anything?!"

"There's a fight? Oh no! Pip!" The mare yelled before running towards the room, pushing past the crowd of scared onlookers. Her baby could be in danger.

-------------------------------------------

The reason security was so slow? There just so happened to be an entire group of some of the richest ponies in Equestria in the museum, and the owner thought it would be a good idea to leave most of the guards with them, good PR and all that.

Who could have guessed that would backfire?

---------------------------------------------

Spray Bottle wasn't having a good time.

His Pegasus was lying on the ground a few meters away, struggling to move as he massaged his neck.

Ladder Duty was out cold, his ladder was toppled over him, his vest covered in blood from all the teeth he broke.

And Spray bottle? He was currently getting his head slammed into the floor over and over, thanking every deity he could think of that he decided to wear a hard hat for this job, Otherwise a strong Concussion wouldn't be the worst thing happening to him right now.

SLAM

He looked into the eyes of the Unicorn above him.

SLAM

No, Unicorn isn't a good word for what this person was,

SLAM

He was looking at a demon.

SLAM

And when Spray Bottle felt his eyes close as his adrenaline run out and the sweet embrace of unconsciousness took him, he stared into the eyes of the Devil himself, and they were Light Blue.

"Pip!"

-------------------------------------

Clean Squeak was panicking. Not because of the ruffians beating each other on the other side of the room, no.

She was panicking because her son was bleeding and unconscious.

"Wake up, Pip!" She cried as she tried to shake him gently awake to no response.

"Nonononono! Please I-" SMACK

She turned her head to see the White Stallion grab a scarf wrapped around the Pegasus, and rip it off his neck with a strong pull, ruining the scarf and leaving a section wrapped around the ruffian.

Clean Squeak slowly crawled back with her son in her arms as the Unicorn started walking towards her, holding the scarf in his mouth.

She almost stopped breathing when she felt her back hit the wall, there was nowhere else to go. She closed her eyes and hugged her son closer to her when the Unicorn took the scarf out of his mouth and held it in his hooves.

But nothing came, she wasn't being hit.

Slowly opening her eyes, she saw the Unicron wiping the blood off her son with his scarf, his horn glowing as he worked.

"Nothing serious, good," She heard him whisper under his breath as he cleaned the blood off before his horn glowed brighter, and with a small yell and another shower of blood, her little Pip opened his eyes.

"Ow!" He yelled, his legs quickly moving to hold the scarf to his nose as the blood flowed like a leaky faucet.

"What is going on here?!" A yell cut through her thoughts as a short Unicorn came into the room followed by a bunch of guards.

Seeing them entering the room, The Blonde stallion looked at the mother and son duo before quietly telling them "Excuse me for just a moment," And walking to the guards who just entered.

"You! Did you do this?! I will have you know that this Museum is owned by-" The short Unicorn stopped talking when the White Unicorn opened his mouth.

"I don't care. Are you in charge or are you not?"

"Wha- Listen here, you scoundrel! I am the head of this establishment and I won't be-" "That's all I needed to hear,"

The Unicorn then grabbed a bag from the floor and levitated it towards him, opening it when it reached him and taking out a large book.

"What are you-" The head of the Museum tried to speak but the Blonde Stallion interrupted him.

"With the authority handed to me by the crown, I am placing you under investigation and house arrest for its duration," He said as he opened the book showing him what must be a certain law.

"For workplace negligence," A bead of sweat started to form on the short pony's head, "Lacking security of a piece of historical importance," more sweat.

"Child Endangerment," Pip sneezed and wiped his nose with the scarf, 

"Insufficient safety regulations on a commercial property,"

Clean Squeak stopped listening to the words as the list went on and on, but when the Unicorn finally closed his book and placed it back in his bag, the short pony asked him a question that even she wanted to know.

"Who are you?"

The White Unicorn blinked before looking down at his ruined cardigan. With a sigh he took it off, revealing his Cutie mark that was half hidden under the shirt.

"I am Prince Blueblood Platinum, and you are under arrest," He said before turning his back on the short pony in charge and walking back in her direction.

"What?! You can't do this to me!" The short pony yelled as the guards that came with him picked up the thieves that lied on the floor and dragged them and the owner outside of the museum.

"Actually, he can," A new voice made itself known, catching the eyes of every pony in the area.

"Fancy Pants?!" The owner yelled in surprise as the gentleman walked in their direction, making sure to keep out of the room so as to not disrupt what will now become a crime investigation scene.

"As a member of the crown, Prince Blueblood does have the authority to place you under house arrest and order an investigation if given sufficient reasoning, the list of crimes he read out will suffice in this case." The Blue haired Unicorn said, and the owner of the museum slumped onto the floor, forcing the guards to actively carry him out.

"I didn't know you were a prince!" Pip yelled excitedly, his voice nasally from the blood drying on his nose and the scarf covering it.

"I didn't tell you," Blueblood smiled before taking out a small pouch from his bag, opening it, and depositing part of its contents in front of Her.

"Here," He said as he placed a small pile of bits next to her legs, "This should cover the hospital bills, lunch, and dinner," He told her, a tired smile on his face.

"Wha?" Clean Squeak managed to let out before the Prince smiled at her and Pip, and walked away.

Leaving a trail of blood in the shape of his hoof-prints behind him.

---------------------------------------

"You seem to have had an exciting day," I paused when I heard a familiar voice tell me.

I managed to walk all the way back to the castle without anybody stopping me, why now?

"Yes, Princess Luna, I did indeed have a most exciting time today," I smiled as I responded to the Dark blue Alicorn as she made her way in my direction.

She smiled and looked at my legs, "I can see that," Luckily the blood wasn't mine.

"Yes, I'm sure you can," I smiled wider at her, which only causes her smile to widen in response.

We both stared at each other for almost a minute, neither of us willing to look away from the eyes of the other.

Sadly it seems that the sunset had different ideas, as the rays from the window entered my eyes and forced me to lose the impromptu staring match with the Princess of the Night.

"Have a good night, Blueblood," She said as she continued her walk, passing by me and ignoring the trail of bloody footsteps.

"You too, Luna," I respond and continue making my way back to my room.

I really need a shower.