Transformation or Death

Life of Downfall (3)

“How about it? Don’t you want to become like that child? It seems there’s no inconvenience in living.”

In response to Botis’s proposal, Han Jae-jung coldly expressed his refusal.

“Don’t talk nonsense.”

Villains who easily kill people for their own purposes. Also, because human negative emotions are essential for their survival, they think of humans only as food or tools.

Botis’s suggestion was no different from saying to live by sacrificing others’ lives instead of one’s own.

“If you’re going to present that kind of thing as a solution, you shouldn’t have come at all.”

Han Jae-jung had lost his parents to their hands in the past, and he had seen countless people around him suffering from the villains until now.

The mere thought of becoming essentially the same as them, beyond just looking like them, made him feel nauseous.

“Ha… I guess I should have expected this from the moment I found you. I was stupid. It’s all my fault. Well then.”

Han Jae-jung openly mocked Botis. He felt self-loathing for having come here with this as his last hope.

“Hehe….”

Botis laughed leisurely as if she had expected such a reaction from him. She must have easily predicted that this proposal would be rejected, knowing Han Jae-jung’s hatred for villains.

But this composure didn’t come from simply being prepared for such a rejection.

“Don’t get so worked up.”

Botis was as relaxed as if she had predicted all of his actions. Her attitude suggested that this rejection was meaningless.

“It’s not something that will be decided by your will anyway.”

“…What?”

Botis handed a wooden cup to the confused Han Jae-jung.

“What are you trying to…”

“Don’t drink it now, decide whether to drink it or not after hearing everything I have to say. My story isn’t over yet.”

Botis stopped Han Jae-jung as he was about to refuse the cup. Usually, she would have urged him to drink the unknown contents of the cup. Now, Botis was cautious as if the liquid she handed over was poison.

Her usually affectionate voice changed to be more dignified, and her eyes, hidden by the hood, felt sharp.

Han Jae-jung felt a chill down his spine for a moment.

“Listen to everything, then decide. Just because you don’t have much time left doesn’t mean I have a reason to be considerate enough to make your day worthwhile. Don’t cause unnecessary waste for the sake of your life.”

He realized once again that what was in front of him now was not a kind woman, but a villain that could tear his body to pieces with just one gesture. His untransformed body felt so fragile that it seemed it would be torn apart and blown away by this gentle breeze at any moment.

“Come on, take it first.”

Well, isn’t it strange to meet a villain without transforming? It’s foolish not to use a means of protection when you have one.

Instead of taking the cup, Han Jae-jung reached for the metal ball.

As his hand touched the cold belt, Han Jae-jung changed the direction of his outstretched hand and obediently took the cup Botis gave him, placing it in front of his knees.

“Well done.”

Botis smiled warmly again. In contrast, Han Jae-jung’s expression hardened like a cold stone.

‘Am I crazy?’

Han Jae-jung berated himself. Not because he had obediently followed the villain’s words. He was scolding himself for attempting to transform.

How long had it been since the suspicion arose that transformation was eating away at his lifespan, and yet he immediately tried to transform.

‘It’s not like it’s an addiction…’

For a moment, the image of a delinquent flashed through his mind. The Libra drug addicts, commonly known as ‘light chasers’, who had been featured in many news reports and documentaries in the past. Those who were dying, addicted to starlight.

Han Jae-jung felt cold sweat on the nape of his neck as he thought about whether he was becoming like that. The fact that he was gradually becoming abnormal gripped him.

“Have you ever thought about it? About this transformation system and its price. This isn’t a power that an ordinary person can obtain just by making a vow. Every reward comes with a definite price.”

“…”

“As I said earlier. This is a power that my friend, Sky Polaris, created for magical girls. From the beginning, it was a means for humans chosen by the stars to choose the stars themselves. It was never considered for ordinary people like you to use. It’s no different from an error or a bug.”

“But how did I…”

“I’d like to tell you that too… But unfortunately, I don’t know well either. I’m not the creator. I’m just a third party who heard various dream stories from my friend. Ah, well, I did use that transformation a bit, so I guess I’m not completely unrelated.”

Botis chuckled and lifted her head as if reminiscing.

“As you can see from me, the transformation system has side effects even for magical girls. The more negative emotions grow, the easier it becomes to turn into a villain. Memory loss, which wouldn’t normally occur from a magical girl’s corruption, is just a bonus.”

This statement essentially meant that side effects could occur to Joo Ah-yoon as well. Each piece of information heavily weighed on Han Jae-jung’s mind.

“As you might have guessed, the transformation system isn’t complete. Sky Polaris died before completing it. Unfortunately, most of my memories were also erased as I became a villain.”

“Is there a way to bring them back…”

“No.”

Botis cut him off firmly.

“Once you become a villain, you can only chase the dreams you can see. There’s no vitality to chase invisible dreams. Memories that have disappeared like dreams forgotten in sleep never return. Most of the memories from my time as a human have vanished like a summer night’s dream. Now, the only memory I have left is the time I spent with Sky Polaris.”

Han Jae-jung was puzzled. There was clearly a contradiction in her statement. Botis had said she could now convey various information because she had recovered her memories. But what about what she was saying now?

The answer was one: Botis was lying. Han Jae-jung hoped that something else among the information she had conveyed might also be a lie.

“I know what you’re curious about. You must be dumbfounded that I said I had lost my memories until now but just remembered, and now I’m saying it’s not possible.”

Words that seemed to pierce through Han Jae-jung’s psyche. He felt a twinge of discomfort.

“But there’s no contradiction. I lost my memories twice in total. Once when turning into a villain. Once after becoming a villain. The memories I recalled are the latter. The former memories don’t come back. Ever.”

Botis’s subsequent words shattered Han Jae-jung’s hope. If only considering those words, no lie was visible, and it led to the meaning that everything Botis had said so far was true.

But he still couldn’t fully trust it.

The situation seemed too naturally manipulated. Certainly, he couldn’t find any lies in her statements, but at the same time, he couldn’t find any evidence. He couldn’t dismiss the possibility that she had added lies to make her statements trustworthy.

“How can I believe that…”

Before Han Jae-jung could finish speaking, Botis lowered her hood. She threw off the long, cloak-like hood and revealed her stomach.

Unlike other villains, her undressing, with a female body, was quite embarrassing, but Han Jae-jung focused on her body without even thinking of looking away. There was a huge scar on her stomach that caught his attention.

A scar, as if pierced by an object like a spear or stake, was prominently situated on one side of her stomach. Around that scar, there were full ominous purple marks, reminiscent of someone poisoned.

“Scorpius. Or Fishing Hook constellation. The tail of that beast has a poison that pulls something out of the stabbed opponent, like pulling up a fish with a fishing hook. What I lost was my memories.”

The villain of Scorpius. Han Jae-jung was well aware of this enormous beast, which belonged to the three great villains along with Leo and Serpens, having seen it in the original work.

Not just memories, but it can pull out various things like magic power, personality and mind, desires, and even lifespan. While the other two beasts mainly cause physical destruction, Scorpius causes loss.

The purple spots engraved like the sun’s pattern were nothing but evidence of being attacked by Scorpius. The likelihood that Botis’s testimony was true increased.

“Well, it doesn’t matter whether you believe it or not. But my selfish heart wishes you would believe me.”

Botis smiled bitterly as she lowered the clothes she had lifted. The wound on her abdomen was covered by cloth.

“I’ve already experienced the side effects of transformation. That’s why I can empathize with you more. I can understand your worries. That’s why I’m telling you this. I don’t want you to suffer losses.”

“But you won’t gain any benefit by being kind to me…”

“It’s the responsibility I must bear for not properly taking care of my friend.”

Botis’s voice was full of self-deprecation. For the first time, I felt something human from this villain.

“That’s why I’m doing this. It’s not without benefit. By being kind to you, I can find self-satisfaction.”

“…”

“Well… Shall we talk about the side effects of transformation again? Remember I said earlier that it’s not something that can be decided by your will? And I also mentioned that Sagittarius was once human like you.”

Once again, a gentle breeze blew. That wind, still holding onto winter, was extremely cold.

“Just like how you insisted on remaining human, that child was the same. Until the end, they were determined to remain human like Sky Polaris. But in the end, it was all meaningless.”

“…No way.”

Han Jae-jung imagined the worst scenario.

“The more transformations they underwent, the closer their body came to death, and at the moment when their self and body completely collapsed, the corpse was reborn as a villain.”

And at that moment, the worst scenario became reality. There was no hint of deception in Botis’s demeanor.

She was as solemn as a doctor informing a patient of their diagnosis, and her eyes were full of sympathy.

“So, that’s why I’m offering you this cup now. It contains the milk that turns you into the villain you’ve been wary of all along. It’s different from what I’ve given you before, more like a poison to humans.”

Han Jae-jung was startled and looked at the cup he had placed in front of his knees. Although it looked no different from the cups he had received so far, its effect was completely different.

“But this milk is also special, you see. I made it myself. If you drink it, you’ll be able to become a villain with clear reason and memories, not just an ordinary villain. It contains a higher concentration of my starlight. I can control your transformation when you become a villain.”

Botis moved slightly and placed her hand on top of Han Jae-jung’. It was a motherly, affectionate touch.

“Listen carefully, child. This is an opportunity. An opportunity to become a villain you can control. If you’re faced with the same worst outcome anyway, wouldn’t it be better to choose the lesser evil? Even if you lose your reason and become a villain, I can control you.”

She gripped Han Jae-jung’s hand more tightly.

“I’ll manage you well so you don’t hurt the ones you care about. I’ll make sure no one gets hurt by your hands. How about it? Isn’t this a good enough condition?”

“…”

“Think about it carefully. Think about the future that awaits you. You don’t want to have the blood of your loved ones on your hands, do you?”

“…”

Should he become a somewhat sane villain now? Or should he live waiting for an unpredictable death and villainization? He was presented with the most terrible dilemma of his life, one he least wanted to choose.

Han Jae-jung pondered. What should he say? Even now, the belt maintains its silence. Since he had realized his fate, he could no longer hear any quests or comments from the belt.

What was that metal ball expecting from him? Why hadn’t it revealed this crucial fact until now, and if it knew about this final outcome, why had it allowed him to chase his dreams all this time? Han Jae-jung still couldn’t understand its intentions.

“Well, I’m sure you’re still confused.”

Botis withdrew her hand and stood up.

“Keep the flute I gave you. Call me again when you remember. I’ll wait as long as it takes.”

The vast prairie-like landscape spread out on the mountain began to sway and disappear with the wind.

“…I’m sorry.”

Until the very end, Botis sympathized with him.

As she and the scenery around her completely faded away, the world surrounding Han Jae-jung once again became a gloomy and dark back alley.

Han Jae-jung was still sitting.

“…This is driving me crazy.”

***

Ippotranslation 

***

Han Jae-jung moved to walk on a bridge over the river. The wind blowing from the winter river was extremely cold, making him appreciate the thick clothes he had worn today.

He suddenly stopped walking and leaned on the railing, gazing endlessly at the river. Looking at the rapidly flowing river, he wished this worry could pass by as powerfully.

“…Damn it all.”

He had found his dream and pursued the power to achieve it, and now that he had gained power, life itself stood as a barrier before him. How is the world suppressing me like this? Did I sell out a country in my past life or something?

Thinking of his parallel world self after a long time, Han Jae-jung laughed weakly.

“Haha, shit.”

“Ah, no!”

“Ugh!”

Suddenly, something flew at him and collided. In that instant, he felt a sharp pain in his ribs, and Han Jae-jung, unable to withstand the impact, fell to the side of the road. Bewildered by what had happened, Han Jae-jung looked at whatever had crashed into him.

“S-suicide is not the answer…!”

“…Miss Vega?”

I thought we had resolved that misunderstanding a long time ago.

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