Toxin

My mother was an Imae, and my father was human.My father was from Baedal Kingdom and was said to be a famous artist. However, tired of painting only people all his life, he impulsively left for nature. While capturing the breathtaking scenery of Hanaru Mountain on canvas, he happened to meet my mother there. The two of them instantly recognized each other as their eternal partners, but a future that transcended their species was never going to be smooth. My father’s family attacked the Imae village and set it on fire, all because he took a yokai as his wife. The Imae, who almost suffered great misfortune, exiled my mother, and my father cut ties with his family. Despite all that, they chose each other, and as a result, I was born.However, there was one secret not well known to the world. Imae have a unique toxin called the ‘Imae Poison’ in their bodies. If they were to mix with another species, the other party would gradually become addicted and ultimately lose their life. My mother hesitated, and my father did not believe it, they said. But shortly after my mother became pregnant with me, my father passed away. He had proven the terrifying power of the Imae poison.Branded as a woman who had ‘devoured’ her husband, my mother found it difficult to endure the harsh years while caring for me, who was just a baby. In the end, she had no choice but to turn to her own people. They only accepted her after she vowed that I would never have a name in my lifetime.So, I still don’t have a name. No, I must not have one.Denied by my very existence, unable to belong to either side, I reached the age of nineteen without a name.***“Ugh… ha, ugh…”“Hah… hah… I’m losing it… hah… I’m going… insane… hah… ngh…!”I was being roughly handled in one corner of a filthy shack. As I clenched my backside against the overwhelming pain, Orumun’s panting breath became rougher, and his thrusting sped up. The strength of his fully-grown body never seemed to weaken. When his massive organ pierced through me, pulling out and then driving back in, it felt like my head was about to fold in half against the wall. Soon, with a pain that crushed my insides, an enormous amount of seed gushed into me. I nearly let out a painful groan, but I forced it down. Orumun’s rock-like torso collapsed onto my back. Unable to bear the weight, I slid down the wall.“Hah, hah… Your rear, I mean. Did you put honey on it or something? Once you taste it, there’s no stopping. It’s so sticky and sweet. Isn’t that right, sweet thing?”Orumun’s raspy voice tickled my ear as he sniffed at me.“You know? They say Imae have a distinctive scent, but you smell a bit different. That just drives me crazier…”Once again, he had no intention of leaving my body for hours. My lower half was drenched in the fluids he had poured into me, and my limbs trembled helplessly. There had never been a real kiss or any pleasure in his acts of constant penetration and thrusting. But I preferred it that way. This relationship should be no different than collecting herbs or foraging for food. As I raised myself, his thing slid out with a sickening feeling that made me shudder. Orumun spread his breath on the nape of my neck, his fingers playing with my raised nipples.“How about it? Should I secretly give you a name? I bet calling out your name while we do it would make it even more thrilling. Of course, I’ll keep it a secret that I named you.”“I don’t need one.”I fiercely pushed Orumun away. As I adjusted my pants and jacket, Orumun smacked his lips. In his red eyes, I could faintly see the name that signified he was a member of the Imae Tribe. The Imae Tribe has a unique naming ceremony at birth, during which the newborn’s name is inscribed into their eyes the moment it’s given. The term “inscribed” might make one think it’s carved with something sharp, but it refers to the process of imbuing meaning into the newly born soul, causing the spiritual energy to take the shape of letters that are etched into the eyes.Although it’s usually the parents who give the name, there’s a superstition among the Imae Tribe that if someone other than family gives a name, their souls will be eternally bound to that person. This is often interpreted as meaning they will become lifelong partners. However, not only would the tribe never allow me to bear the tribe’s mark, but even if I desperately wanted a name, the thought of receiving it from him was worse than death.“Acting all high and mighty.”Orumun tossed a small bundle from the corner of the shack in front of me.“You’ve got a miserable life thanks to your sick mother. Well, I guess I’ve gotten my fill of pleasure out of it.”I picked up the bundle that had landed at my knees and weighed it in my hand. The weight of the herbs had lessened again. That’s why I had been forced to meet Orumun more and more frequently lately.“Why is this all you brought?”“Lately, those Baedal Kingdom guys have been collecting everything as taxes. I had a hard time getting even this much. I had to sneak it out behind my old man’s back.”I glared at his smirking face with cold eyes.“This is only enough for two days. If this continues, I won’t be keeping my end of the bargain either.”“Like I said, it’s hard to find herbs these days… No, where do you get off being picky when I gave it to you out of pity? If you don’t like it, you can quit anytime!”As Orumun tried to snatch the bundle back, I quickly grabbed hold of it. His despicable behavior made me shudder, but without this, it would be the end for me. He bared his white teeth in satisfaction.“If you and your sick mother want to keep living here, you’d better keep offering up that rear of yours. See you in two days.”Whistling, Orumun left the shack. He was the son of the Imae chieftain and had already been chosen as the next leader. Thanks to his influence, my mother and I hadn’t been kicked out of the village yet. My mother thinks I earn food and herbs by painting.When I became aware of things, I found I had inherited my father’s talent. I used to earn money by drawing for the tribe members. But I was lucky if I got work once every ten days, and it was hard for my mother and me to even get by. I wanted to take on more work, but no one was willing to offer me a job.The first time I had to pay for medicine like this was after my mother fell ill. I was only seventeen then. Consumed by the fear of losing her, I couldn’t foresee how Orumun’s offer would poison me or how it would devour my body and soul. I had hoped to stop after a while, but relentless hunger and my mother’s worsening illness shattered that hope. I carefully gathered the bundle that had rolled onto the straw mat. Today, for the first time in a while, I might be able to bring my mother some meat.He immediately left the hut. Before entering the village, he tidied his long hair that hung down to his waist, pulling some of it forward to cover his eyes.The Imae Tribe had a peculiar appearance, with red eyes and white horns on either side of their heads. Because of their distinctive look and the unique scent their bodies emitted, which was said to mesmerize humans, we were often called the “red-eyed demons” or “white-horned ghosts.” Humans despised the Imae Tribe for their carnivorous diet, while the Imae Tribe, who took great pride in their heritage, harbored deep resentment towards humans in return.However, my mixed-blood appearance was a bit different from that of the purebred Imae Tribe. Unlike their dark skin, my complexion was rather pale, and my build was smaller. The most noticeable difference was my eyes. While theirs were a bright red, mine were a dark purple. That’s why I had to cover them to avoid unwanted attention. From there, I headed to the butcher and offered the owner some herbs.“Can I get some meat?”“Didn’t you hear me last time when I said you need to pay with money from now on?!”“These are valuable herbs, so it shouldn’t be a loss for you. I promise I’ll bring money next time, so please help me out just this once.”The butcher scowled at the herbs I handed him, then disappeared somewhere. After a while, he returned and tossed a freshly killed chicken my way.“I’ll say this one more time—next time, this kind of stuff won’t cut it!”Though he spoke like that, the herbs given to me by Orumun were clearly valuable, as he always gave me a whole chicken in exchange. Just then, a man barged in, brushing against my shoulder.“Hey, I heard those Baedal Kingdom folks are here. Did you prepare for it? This time it’s the Black Heaven King’s 27th birthday, so I guess they’re planning to collect big.”“Damn it! Birthday or not, they can go screw themselves! After they took all our cattle last time, we haven’t even had a bite of meat!”“Careful what you say! Still, what can we do? When they ask, we have to give. Didn’t you hear about the Golnaru Tribe getting wiped out recently because they resisted like that?”“Who doesn’t know that Baedal Kingdom finds the smallest excuse to swallow up neighboring countries?”“Which is why we have to endure this. If we make it through this time, things should be peaceful here for a while. Even the Chieftain isn’t staying silent for no reason.”As the man calmed the butcher, he shot a sideways glance at me. I took the blood-dripping chicken and stepped outside, faint laughter echoing behind me.“A half-blood pretending to eat raw meat like the Imae Tribe… I can’t stand it.”***The streets were bustling, as people hurried to transport the taxes they owed to Baedal Kingdom. Baedal Kingdom was a vast empire, rooted in the ancient culture of humankind. Across its expansive territory, humans and various non-human tribes coexisted through space and time. The founder of Baedal Kingdom, Hwanin, was revered as a son of heaven, and his descendants carried on his legacy, subduing neighboring nations and enjoying a golden age for thousands of years.The place where I lived, known as Imae Village, was a vassal state under Baedal Kingdom. The Imae Tribe and the surrounding clans were subjected to harsh taxation every month, making the people increasingly discontent. Not that there was any generosity toward me when times were prosperous, either. Recently, rumors spread among humans that Imae horns were a rare medicinal ingredient, and many Imae Tribe members had disappeared without a trace. Though it was clearly the work of humans, there was no solid evidence, and with the immense power of Baedal Kingdom backing them, we dared not fight back.Thwack!Out of nowhere, a rock struck my head, and warm blood trickled down my cheek. I instinctively pressed my wound and glared in the direction the rock had come from. Through my disheveled hair, I saw several Imae members standing in the middle of the road. They always avoided touching me directly, claiming it was too disgusting, and instead used whatever objects they could find.“Who do you think you are, walking around here so freely?! Didn’t we tell you to keep out of sight?!”“Pah! Just seeing a half-breed with horns like that pisses me off!”They always behaved like this—throwing tantrums, especially when I ignored them or didn’t react. Maybe if I feared them, they’d leave me alone. But I couldn’t bring myself to feel even a shred of fear, so there was nothing I could do. I glared coldly at them.“If it bothers you so much, why don’t you go somewhere else or walk with your eyes closed? You’re the ones in my way.”“Hah! You’re only acting so bold because you think those Baedal Kingdom people are here to protect you again, huh?”“What are you talking about?”The furrowed brow of the attacker made the veins in his neck stand out.“Do you think we don’t know?! Some of us have been tightening our belts for a month, saving up, only to have it all taken away, and yet you, a half-breed, keep getting a free pass…!”“There’s no need to deal with such scum one by one! Aim for the horns! Let’s break them completely today and give him a tour of the underworld!”“Throw! Kill him…!!”A fierce barrage of stones began. Passing Imae also joined in. I huddled my body as much as possible, covering my head. The Imae horns were a critical weakness; if they were cut or struck fatally, it could be life-threatening. Although my flesh was scraped and my forehead was torn by the unceasing stones, any further provocation would only result in repercussions for my mother. As I stubbornly refused to react, one of the attackers threw a large stone. The stone came flying with terrifying speed and landed precisely on my spine. For a moment, I could hardly breathe, feeling as if my consciousness was fading.“Ugh….”The attackers seemed pleased with the sound that escaped me, laughing maniacally and becoming even more frenzied. At the moment another one threw a stone, suddenly the attackers tumbled like fallen leaves and sprawled on the ground and the wall.“Ugh!”“Argh…!”I wanted to see what was happening, but the blood flowing down mixed with my hair and stung my eyes. Suddenly, I heard the sound of someone stepping on branches.“Isn’t that one of your own kin? What kind of deeds are you doing among those of the same blood?”“Th-that’s not possible! Raonhiljo! That person isn’t one of us…!”“No! He has nothing to do with us…!”The attackers shuddered, but it was actually I who was trembling.“Anyway, you should… just go.”“Why don’t you leave instead?”Though the voice was soft, it carried a chilling warning. The attackers, unable to retort, cast disgruntled glances before clutching their waists and getting up. After they had completely disappeared, heavy footsteps approached. As my vision cleared, I saw a golden ceremonial robe adorned with the emblem of Baedal Kingdom. When I looked up, a tall man was gazing down at me.His presence stood out among the Imae Tribe. He was Raonhiljo, an official of Baedal Kingdom. He came once a month to collect taxes and stayed in Imae Village to collect tributes from neighboring countries as well. He had been coming here since two years ago, and our encounters had become more frequent over time. Raonhiljo frowned as he looked at me.“That’s terrible.”I tried to get up, avoiding his gaze, but was forced to sit back down due to the pain that felt like my spine was shattered. As he extended his hand, a refreshing herbal scent wafted into my nose. His voice, as fresh as the scent, followed.“Grab him.”“…I’m fine.”As Raonhiljo and I argued, passing Imae glanced at us. It was uncomfortable. I couldn’t get used to such kindness and was also uneasy about being observed. His being human was another reason for my wariness. As I mustered all my strength to stand up, his expression revealed that my condition was quite serious.“This won’t do. We need to treat you first. Follow me.”Without responding, I wiped the blood from my face and deliberately walked in the opposite direction.“Hey. That’s the opposite direction from your house.”The fact that he knew where I lived made me stop dead in my tracks. I froze my expression and replied coldly.“I moved recently.”I resumed walking immediately. I heard a small sigh from behind but did not look back.***I hurried my steps, as I had to brew the medicine for my mother at the right time. By the time I arrived home, the sun had set, since our house was the most remote one in the village. Though it was merely a shabby thatched cottage, just big enough for me to stretch my legs and lie down, it was the only place where I could escape the scornful gazes and find some rest. I stepped into the yard and approached my mother’s room.“Mother, I’m home.”I planned to just let her hear my voice and not enter the room, as I could already guess what her reaction would be to my appearance.“Where have you been wandering around?! Didn’t I tell you to come home before sunset?”As soon as the door swung open, my mother’s angry voice greeted me. But I noticed a scratch on her face, as if it had been clawed by nails.“Mother, your face….”I took a step closer, and she noticed my face too, and immediately fell silent.***“Who told you to go out and get beaten up like a fool?!”Despite her sharp tone, my mother’s hands were careful as she tended to my wounds. The warmth of the pain made my shoulders flinch. Her thin, bony hands applied herbs to my injuries. My mother, being of pure Imae descent, had crimson eyes, which I always envied.“Those scoundrels did terrible things to my son, let’s see if they can sleep peacefully now! Those wretches…!”My mother ground her teeth in anger. She had gone to the laundry site again today, despite her poor health, and seemed to have faced harsh treatment from the village women. They probably provoked her with words like “a demon woman who even lusts after humans” or “gave birth to a mongrel.”“Why did you go out when you’re not well? Isn’t this worse than last time?”“If I’m in this state, imagine how those women must look. I must’ve half-killed them.”She smiled triumphantly while touching the scratch on her face. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight, which made my lips sting, causing me to wince. My mother’s expression darkened even further.“That’s why you shouldn’t come home all beaten up like a fool! I can take care of myself, so don’t worry and just beat them half to death!”“Yes, Mother.”“But those scoundrels are scoundrels, and you must always behave with dignity elsewhere. No matter how wrong they are, if you act recklessly, you’ll be seen as someone with no upbringing. Don’t shame your father’s name.”“Yes, Mother.”I was both my mother’s shame and her pride. If I didn’t speak and act properly, I would be met with severe punishment. My mother was both a close companion and a strict teacher. Though she had lived her entire life in Imae Village, a place she hated, she also loved it deeply. She feared leaving it.“Your father was such a famous painter in Baedal Kingdom that people knew his name as soon as it was mentioned. He could read difficult texts and paint so beautifully… If only I hadn’t been tempted by his offer to paint me… If only he hadn’t been so stubborn, he wouldn’t have left this world so meaninglessly… What a foolish man… We should have just held hands and slept….”“……”I could understand why my father, who loved painting, had been drawn to my mother, who was as free-spirited as a wildflower. Her eyes suddenly softened.“That day, we were returning from Hanaru Mountain.”“……”“He had been coughing up blood every day, but one day he seemed completely fine. He was so happy that he suggested we go play in the water. We caught fish and played by the waterfall at Hanaru Mountain. But as we were heading back in the evening, he collapsed, as if it were a lie. It was so quiet and peaceful, it seemed like he was just asleep….”The greatest obstacle my parents faced wasn’t opposition from my father’s family or the tribe that exiled my mother. It was the poison of Imae. My mother’s clear eyes turned to me.“Your father was calm, even in his final moments. You must have inherited that calmness from him… like the still water.”I liked hearing stories about my father. I also liked the dreamy look my mother had when she talked about him. It was the only time she had that expression here. Even though the story always ended with a heartbreaking conclusion…My mother, burdened by guilt for having killed her husband with the poison from her own body, had tried to take her life several times. But in the end, she couldn’t abandon me, her young child, and chose to cling to life with all her might. I, too, wanted to protect my frail mother. And she could never know how.***I cleaned the chicken I had traded for medicinal herbs and prepared it for my mother. After a simple meal, I went to the kitchen, divided the meat into portions that would last for six days, and stored it in the jar. I also ate some leftover meat and innards to quell my hunger. The raw, bloody taste lingered in my mouth, but it didn’t bother me at all. I suddenly had the urge to eat raw meat in front of the butcher, just to spite him.After tidying up, I went to my room and unrolled a piece of paper. The drawings that lined the walls mostly featured my mother’s face and the Hanaru Forest, which changed with the seasons. I often used blood from meat to paint the red hues and crushed grass to express the lush green trees. Flower petals of various colors made great pigments as well.I was absorbed in painting when I noticed the night sky through the open door. I put down my brush and went outside to gaze at the wide-spanning Milky Way. The only thing I liked about this Imae Village, which I despised, was this night sky. A night like a boundless soul, with no boundary between the sky and the earth. It felt like a passage to the world beyond, and looking at that vast sky, the frustration in my chest seemed to ease. The glittering crystals of stars shone so brightly it felt dizzying, as if they were about to fall on me. If I had just one dream, it would be to have a name like one of those stars.From the distant sky, I could hear lively songs welcoming guests from Baedal Kingdom, while the fires of Imae lit up the darkness, scattering in all directions. Imae’s fire was a unique skill of the Imae Tribe, where they could form leaf-shaped flames with their fingers. But as someone of mixed blood, I couldn’t create Imae’s fire, and that, too, was something they ridiculed me for. I looked at my empty fingers in silence.Imae’s fire… a fire I can never touch…A hopeless dream I should not even pursue…Perhaps I am dreaming a foolish dream.***The next morning, when I woke up, I screamed as if my bones had been shattered. My arms and legs were swollen, covered in bruises of various colors. Despite the pain, I dragged myself outside and saw my mother hanging the laundry in the yard. As I rushed over to help, she shushed me, putting a finger to her lips. I turned to see a butterfly gently resting on the freshly hung laundry.“Oh my… butterflies are already flying around…”A soft smile graced my mother’s once-lotus-like eyes. If not for the hardships she had endured, she would still be as pure and graceful as that butterfly. As I took over the laundry, the sudden movement startled the butterfly, causing it to flutter away. At that moment, my mother noticed a bundle wrapped in golden silk on the porch. Even at a glance, it was clear that this was no ordinary package.“Who would leave something like this here…?”The moment my mother unwrapped it, her eyes widened, and I, too, couldn’t believe what I was seeing.“Isn’t this a reverse scale? And such a large one—this must be hundreds of years old!”A

reverse scale