To not run away (dnf)

"MA," I slam my door closed. "Whaaaaat?" She says, coming back from the kitchen. In one hand, she's holding a green smoothie, and I go into the kitchen grabbing a cookie, while taking a big bite of it , while waving my hands frantically in the air, " You would not believe what just happened to me today."

" What just happened to you today?" she says, then taking a swig of a drink.

" Georgie communicated to me today in: paper words." She chokes.

" Florida's Georgie?"

" Yes, Ma, ' Florida's Georgie.' "

" Paper words, you mean like notes?" I nod. she beams, "this is literally so exciting; Like what did he even say?"

" That's what I don't get. He said "show me" as if I know what that means."

" It seems like this is something you should figure out on your own." She looks at me sympathetically. I look at her. A silence passes. A sigh escapes her lips, "alright, alright, remember when I told you about that time and space?" I confidently nod.

" Maybe it's time for space."

" As in not talking to him at all?"

She sighs, trying to gather her best words, " No, like as in the metaphorical use of the galaxys and stuff and don't tell me something like, 'oH bUt I dOn'T hAvE GAlaXieS tO gIvE, ' because you know exactly what I'm talking about."

I was silenced.

" But it's hard though."

" I gave you my advice, so the rest is up to you."

The locks on my heart knows exactly what she means. The meaning of 'show me' however, is still a mystery to me and whether that advice is connected to it somehow.

It's a Thursday afternoon with one more week after this and I'm laying down on the floor. " Clay, are you sure you don't want to come with me and the gang to that event gathering?"

" Yes ma'am, I'm sure, there's going to be many people there that I'm trying to avoid."

Before opening the door, she's gathering her things, " All right well lasagna's on the stove, that's in case if you wanted some. " She's partially smiling at me as I partially smile back.

" Have fun with my friends!"

She sticks her tongue out at me, " Yeah well, they love me more than you, so I know I will." She hurriedly closes the door. I shake my head while slowly getting up.

I go get the Teddy bear that I had been wanting to give to Georgie, to use as a demise to buy his friendship- to generously give to Georgie because I am such a good friend.

Placing my hand on the doorknob, I ignore the heart racing and the stomach fluttering and the alarm that's saying "ARE YOU IN LOVE, ARE YOU IN LOVE, " Because just because I am excited to see him, does not mean that I love him, then it hits me, Something coming up in my stomach , just hits me in my throat and I run to the bathroom, needing to throw up in the toilet.

Walking out with a little bit less confidence than last time, because I hadn't known how much my anxiety was spiked up and I'm now found with this new insecurity, I head out towards the door knob.

Memory by Barbara Streisand breezes throughout the radio. I tell myself how I'm going to play that in my earphones when I get to the hangout center.

My heart is doing cartwheels. My hands are clamy. My stomach has like a million butterflies trapped inside. I drive to the hangout center, parking my car, and making my way towards the door

I open the bag, grabbing the bear hugging it for good luck; Then stuffing it inside.

the place is filled with no more than 5 people. it's not a challenge at all to make my way past them. not long after, I reach the door.

Burrows of butterflies swoop in my stomach and my hands get clammy again. I jiggle with the door nob, debating about whether to go outside or not. The same boy, with dusty pink cheeks, and hazelnut brown hair and the same boy that was standing on his tippytoes that day trying to refix his boxes is the same boy that is bopping his head to his music and I catch a glimpse.

He looks so real and that's the real problem. He seems so out of my reach that he seems impossible.

forget about the fact that he actually communicated with me with two words and all the progress that I had made; he seems so

surreal.

I question myself.

I question myself because why did I ever think that he would take an interest in someone like me?

Hopelessness becomes like a spider and crawls into my chest. I'm screaming at myself because I just want to go home. Why was this even worth it? So much with little result.

Maybe I will just give him a little bit of that space. Maybe I could try again tomorrow. Maybe he really is happier With a little bit of that space.

My hands pathetically dropped from the door. I back away from the door already regretting my decision, wishing that I could go outside.

My legs won't move, however. Like stuck in cement, they stay in the place. Shoving my hands into my pockets, I turn around. As much as I would like to talk to him, I would rather leave him alone and not bother him. He's probably so happy with his own thing going on. so a decision has been made.

"Ayo Dream!" Like I said, a decision has been made as Fundy called my name. "Come join us!"

Already listening in on Fundy, Foolish, and Pun'z conversation , I'm walking over there. "About sapnap and Bethany, I think they have a real shot at becoming pro."

Fundy cuts in, " I know they're really good at baseball , are you sure they have a chance at becoming pro?"

After making it pass the tables, I'm leaving on on a countertop. My mind wanders from their conversation over to Georgie and his words of 'show me.' Guilt sweeps over my heart leaning on against hopelessness. Yet, there's nothing to feel guilty about. He wouldn't have wanted me over there anyway.

The doors open. He walks in with a look of determination written all over his face.

Everyone would have carried on , if it wasn't for the fact that Georgie is leaning his arm on my shoulder. Standing on his tippy toes.

With a smug look, "Hey Dream, I have been waiting for you for about 10 minutes now, where have you been?"

Pure shock, on everyone's faces, including mine.

"I'm coming."

He walks to the back door, not even looking back, and opening the door.

"Dude, he never talks to anyone and yet he talks to you?" Fundy decides to say, once Georgie is out of the ear way.

Georgie not speaking must be common knowledge, because even the two others that are in the hangouts center looks back with shock written on their faces.

I practically teleport to the back door, shrug my shoulders, and open the door.

Spread around him, is the open view. Trees sway in the distance. Grass and leaves dances with the wind and the wind, picks and ruffles at George's hair, because they want to see it dance too. Behind him, is his main tree Where he sits at, the limbs go up-and-down as if they are trying to get a glimpse at Georgie, trying to touch him, the leaves fall down trying to touch him, also.

" You know, for a minute there, I didn't think You would come."

Hands stuffed in my pocket, I attempt at walking smoothly over to him.

"i- um, yeah." Really Dream.

"Yeah."

wait, I forgot, I go into my bag getting it out.

A few seconds has went by, and he looks amused. "What is it this time?"

" You seem like the type of person to be laughing at people's suffering." I go back to digging through my stuff.

Still looking amused, he looks off into the distance, " I'm not saying anything."

"Here, it's for you." I say while holding out the Teddy bear.

" Thank you, but you didn't have to do that, we're both here aren't we?"

" Why does everyone keep thinking I'm trying to buy your friendship?"

He looks down at the ground, holding the bear at his neck. " I'll call him stuffy."

Standing up straight, I hold my hands at my hips, " Good, 'cause he needs a home."

"Yeah... have you lived here your whole life?"

I bob my head from side to side, " Pretty much yeah, what about you?"

He's hesitant in answering. Pulling his lips into a thin line, he holds out his Teddy bear.

He speaks. "London, I am from London."

I nod, understandingly "I mean yeah, I get it I guess because I knew that you were somewhere from over there; I just did not know where."

He simply nods while looking at the ground. " Well I am going to head out now."

He walks over there to grab his things. In his ears, he plugs in his string bean earphones. After packing his things, He stands up with his coffee in his hand; Yet, what is walking past me I see his stuffy looking out of a backpack zipper hole with the zipper just above It. His head is poking out.

He turns around, slowly walking backwards, With a smug look on his face, he says, " Same time tomorrow ? Be here, ok?"

"Oh ok" To say that I was shocked would be like an understatement. My whole, entire nervous system is having a whole gymnastic session.

He lets the door fall and I'm playing with my hands like a toddler. The rest of my body is frozen and my eyes are glued to that door that he just like walked out of.

I go to the house.

I burst through the kitchen "MA! " She jumps , Looking at me with wide eyes Then she settles down with a look of " I can not wait till you go home."

Skipping, I go to her kissing her on the cheek, " You'll never guess what happened to me today!"