To Me, Who Doesn’t Love You

“……”The breathing coming from beyond the door was incredibly rough. The intermittent, low groans hinted that he might be covering his mouth with his hand, and tension traveled up my spine.“Stop being stubborn and open the door.”Once again, I pulled down the handle with a click, but no matter how hard I tried, the door wouldn’t budge, only rattling futilely as something inside resisted with all its might.“……”The pheromones seeping steadily from inside the room made it difficult even for me to stay focused. The overpoweringly sweet scent stirred up my impulses. Why hold back? I’m okay with it, we’re not doing anything wrong, so why? Because I can’t remember? Out of fear of regret? What good would that do?The heat rising through my body continuously set my rationality ablaze. It felt like I was trapped in a dark fog, unable to see an inch ahead, with only this person’s hand to hold on to.At times, they watched me longingly from a distance, and other times they acted familiar as if we’d known each other forever. Yet, whenever I tried to step closer, they’d run away. I couldn’t understand what they wanted from me. The fact that they acted like it was all for my sake whenever they pushed me away only fueled my frustration.For my sake? Like handing divorce papers to a husband who just got discharged and learned to walk without assistance? Trying to abandon someone left alone with their memories wiped clean and claiming it’s for their sake? It was an outrageous hypocrisy. I didn’t know what had happened between us, but I was reaching my limit.“Jo Yeon-seo.”Gripping the handle tightly enough to break it, I called out his name in a low voice. The silhouette beyond the door flinched, and I could feel his hand trembling.“I told you to open the door before I break it down.”This wasn’t a warning but a notice. If I couldn’t open it with my strength, I’d use tools, my body, or call someone for help.“Do you want to see me get hurt?”Finally, after what felt like a threat, I heard a click as the handle was released from the inside. I didn’t miss a beat and pushed the door open, widening the gap. Yeon-seo, head hung low, avoided my gaze.“I-I’m fine, s-so please leave.”His neck was flushed red. Despite trying to maintain a calm demeanor, his face twisted in effort, with ears bright red as if frostbitten.“Fine, my ass.”The air I inhaled deeply was sweet. It felt like my long, frustrating patience was finally rewarded. Despite being an alpha, how could a guy’s pheromones be this sweet? I thought foolishly before grabbing Yeon-seo’s nape. The sudden proximity brought his hot body close, and just as I was about to dive into the parted lips.“……?”A firm hand blocked my lips.“I said, leave…!”The hand, of course, belonged to Jo Yeon-seo. Avoiding my gaze desperately, he squeezed his eyes shut and held his ground. I asked incredulously.“Why should I?”From beneath my tense hips, mucus began to seep out. The unfamiliar sensation was briefly unpleasant, quickly overshadowed by a growing desire.“…Because I…!?”I scoffed at Yeon-seo’s face, which looked like he might cry any moment.“Would you be happy if I went out and rolled around with someone else just because I’m in heat?”The breathing paused as if struck by silence.Think about it from my perspective. Why would an alpha in rut, who is healthy and mentally stable, and has an attractive, likable partner, insist on handling it alone? It was infuriating. Am I filthy? Is it wrong to touch, kiss, and lick me? Even when asked for a reason, he’d cut and run like a lizard shedding its tail.‘…What do you expect me to do when you look at me like that?’Unable to contain my excitement, I looked up at Yeon-seo, who was trying to escape me, teeth clenched. Even though he looked desperate to pounce on me, I felt the same frustration. Circling around each other was pointless; all we’d achieve were parallel lines. If he was a volatile substance about to explode, what I wanted was to throw a spark into its center.At a distance close enough for our foreheads to touch, Yeon-seo flinched before barely managing to respond, squeezing out the words.“If Mr. Suhan wants to… that much….”That remark made my blood boil. Did he think I was making this fuss to hear that? I grabbed his collar tightly and buried my face in his neck. Damn, why does he have to smell so good? It was a nostalgic scent, like sweet fruit mixed with a hint of fresh grass.“Don’t think about me, just focus on yourself.”“……”He didn’t respond, as if in one final act of defiance. I sighed inwardly and asked,“Do you want to knot me?”The flesh pressed close shuddered at the explicit word. I laughed, having discarded any shame, and cupped his cheeks with both hands, preventing him from avoiding my gaze as I whispered.“If you want to, do it. That’s why I told you to open the door.”Finally, as if granted permission, I was roughly shoved against the wall. It was ridiculous that even in this moment, he thought to protect me by cushioning the impact with his arm. What was he doing? Before I could complain, his lips covered mine, prying them open with an inexperienced, unrestrained kiss, desperate to explore my mouth.“Mm… ugh….”Even in heat, could an alpha be this clumsy? Feeling the firm pressure rubbing against my inner thigh, I hurriedly stripped off my shirt and tossed it aside. As soon as our lips parted to remove his shirt, I saw his eyebrows furrow in frustration, which was even more absurd. If we were going to have sex, clothes needed to come off. I grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, tossing the loosely buttoned top aside. Unable to wait any longer, he lifted me and threw me onto the bed.“Hey, wait, hold on…!”I was momentarily startled as my body was lifted, and my pants were pulled down just enough to expose my hips. The sudden pressure against my perineum made me lift my head in surprise.“Wait a minute! Stop!”I hastily pushed against his shoulders and back, even shoving his head away. His eyes, glossy with desire, looked like a child who had just lost a treasured possession.“You said… I could… do it…”His eyes were glazed over. Even though I had given him permission! Turning around with great effort, I was taken aback to see his lower body for the first time after months of living together, during which we had maintained an almost perfect distance. Was he planning to just insert it without any preparation? This? Gripping Yeon-seo’s thigh tightly, I broke into a cold sweat and asked,“Is this your first time?”We had been legally married for over a year, so it couldn’t be. He wasn’t some young groom but a man in his late twenties. Yet, seeing his virginal reaction, I couldn’t help but ask. His answer was shocking.“Yes…”Fuck. What had I done with my life? Mr. Lee Suhan, what had happened that made this healthy young man wait? Holding back my curiosity about my past self from four months ago, I let out a sigh. I wasn’t much different.Being over thirty, I hadn’t expected him to be inexperienced before marriage. Even if he wasn’t highly skilled or comfortable with sex, he didn’t seem awkward or eager to run away, suggesting he had some experience. However, the important point was that I had no memory of the thirty-plus years I had lived as Lee Suhan. Regardless of how many past lovers I had, this was my first time now.“It’s my first time too.”At my brief statement, his breath hitched again.“So, let’s take it slow, okay?”Taking a deep breath, I spread my legs and guided Yeon-seo’s hand to my already wet perineum. His fair and delicate hand, which seemed unaccustomed to rough work, was unexpectedly large. I used his middle finger to gently stroke the entrance, easing the tension. Then, I slowly applied the fluids that had flowed out to the inner folds. I could see his earlobes turning bright red beneath his black hair.‘Damn it. And he talks about divorce.’He must like me. I thought he was just annoying, but he could be cute too. Before the sudden sense of dissonance could turn to discomfort, a smile tugged at my lips. How could he mention divorce now?I considered that maybe the pre-accident Lee Suhan was somewhere inside me, struggling and screaming to send me a red light. But did that matter? I didn’t want to make concessions for my past self, who might never return. As they say, there’s no order to life’s events; you never know when you’ll cross the threshold of death.‘It’s a miracle that you only sustained recoverable injuries.’If every miraculous event has a clear reason planned by some higher power,‘…Then isn’t there a reason for this too?’Even though I knew I was rationalizing, I closed my eyes, feeling the clumsy affection filling me. The sweetness in my mouth made me not want to think about anything else.What happened to me? The first emotion I felt when I opened my eyes in the darkness, along with the stench of antiseptic, was fear. My body, unable to move even a finger, felt like a heavy weight pressing down on my chest. The pain coursing through every nerve was the only proof that I was alive.“……”With great effort, I lifted my eyelids and saw someone standing by my side in the dim room, which was devoid of any streetlight. Even in the darkness where I couldn’t see a foot ahead, I could clearly see their distinct gaze looking down at me. Who was it? Why were they next to me?Their expression seemed to be on the verge of tears, but it was too blurry to make out. My eyelids grew heavy, and I couldn’t hold on any longer. Even if they cried in front of me, I couldn’t comfort them… Who was he? What was our relationship that made him look so sad? Unable to grasp anything, I closed my eyes again.The darkness swallowed up even the faint pain, and my consciousness faded instantly.When I opened my eyes again, I was alone in the hospital room. The gaze that had persistently followed me was nowhere to be seen.* * *“Mr. Lee Suhan. You should be grateful that you can even stand and walk on your own. Do you understand?”I awkwardly smiled as I looked at my legs, suspended in the air to avoid putting weight on them. No, I still can’t walk on my own. Not understanding a single thing, I nodded quietly to the doctor and nurse in front of me, pretending to understand.“Ah… Yes….”The doctor, seemingly dissatisfied with my lukewarm response, adjusted his glasses, which looked like something from the 1980s, and added sternly.“It’s not just ‘yes’! It’s a miracle that you only sustained injuries that you can recover from. There’s no damage to your brain, and it’s common for memories to return within a few days to a few months, so don’t worry too much. This isn’t something you can rush, so take it easy.”After the brief consultation, filled with reassurances I’d heard countless times over the past week, I was once again left alone in the hospital room.‘If you need to go to the bathroom or feel uncomfortable, press the button to call us.’It was perhaps natural for the doctor to call my mere survival a miracle, given that I couldn’t even walk to the bathroom on my own yet.My main diagnosis was multiple fractures. The airbags had miraculously protected my face, but the rest of my body had been hit with such a force that it seemed evenly distributed. The central nervous system, including my brain and spine, had suffered significant trauma, and I was told it could have led to brain death… but it didn’t quite register with me.There was something even harder to accept.I couldn’t remember anything about myself, the person everyone called Mr. Lee Suhan. They said that in my exhausted state, as soon as I could speak, I had asked the nurse two questions:‘What happened to me?’‘Who am I?’Behind my philosophical questions lay an incredible story. Having woken up from a long coma, I remembered nothing about myself. Who is the current president? What’s the name of the chairman of K Group? How much is the bus fare now? I knew all kinds of trivial facts, even the name of the nation’s most popular MC, but not who I was. It was the height of irony.Apart from the lack of self-memory, there was nothing to hinder my daily life. Given the severe external trauma from the accident, the doctor diagnosed me with dissociative amnesia caused by psychological shock or physical trauma.The accident had occurred three months ago. I had been unconscious for over 10 weeks. Everyone at the hospital agreed that I had come back from the brink of death, but their words didn’t move me. Everything felt surreal, like watching a movie from a third-person perspective.Shortly after regaining consciousness, an insurance representative explained that my accident was a personal accident. They said I had likely swerved suddenly to avoid a wild animal while driving on a rainy night. The word “likely” bothered me, so I asked for more details. They said they couldn’t be certain and were waiting for my statement.‘The black box wasn’t found at the scene, either front or rear. It’s presumed you removed it a few days earlier, so we were waiting for your recovery to confirm your statement.’The accident had occurred on a quiet country road during a heavy rainstorm. Given the extreme weather, they assumed it was caused by either falling rocks or an attempt to avoid a wild animal. My poor driving skills? But I was in my mid-thirties; I couldn’t have been that bad at driving….The wrecked car showed no signs of mechanical failure. And considering the personal accident insurance didn’t offer significant compensation, it was unlikely I had caused the accident intentionally. There must have been another reason. Though it was hard to shake off the doubt, I had no memory or witness to clarify, so I just tilted my head as the insurance representative patted my shoulder sympathetically.‘Even seasoned drivers can make mistakes in critical situations. Don’t worry too much and just focus on recovering your memory.’Easy for him to say. His overly nonchalant attitude left me feeling cold. He left after concluding the accident was my fault. The hospital room I had been in for almost three months was too spacious for one person, and fear started to creep in. With minimal compensation for a personal accident, would I be buried in debt upon discharge? Was my second life doomed from the start?Looking around the overly luxurious room, I grabbed a nurse to ask. She laughed, treating my question as a joke.‘Mr. Suhan, if you worry about hospital bills, who in the world would stay in a hospital? You’re kidding, right?’Me? I didn’t know who I was or how much I had, but watching the nurse joke around as if it was nothing made me anxious. So who am I? I didn’t have a smartphone or laptop to look up my identity.Being bedridden for so long, even sitting in a wheelchair was a struggle, and I needed a professional caregiver’s help for all my movements. My only time out of the room was the daily ten-minute walk and rehabilitation sessions. Even the walk wasn’t to the first-floor garden or lobby but to the rooftop garden during very quiet times, so I had no chance to interact with others.Whenever I passed through the hospital corridors, I felt the staff’s gaze as if they knew who I was, but they all remained tight-lipped, only offering sympathetic looks. So who am I? The answer to my foolish question came more than a week after waking from the coma.‘Mr. Lee Suhan is Mr. Lee Suhan! The guy from Kitchen Player!’What’s that? When I frowned reflexively, a young nurse, who seemed like a recent hire, laughed and added,‘Oh, you don’t remember that either. You were very famous. You had a catchphrase too! “Mr. So-and-so, is this the best result today?” It was all over the internet.’Of course, I didn’t remember. What was it? How did it go? The nurse briefly showed me a video on her phone after changing my IV pack. In the video, I was wearing a neat suit, sitting as a judge on a cooking competition show. A strict and harsh judge. Even in the 30-second clip, I could tell what kind of character I played on the show.– Ms. Yoo Saera. Is this the best result you can deliver today?In the less-than-a-minute video, I was a jerk, harshly scolding a young female contestant who looked barely out of high school, making her cry. Seeing my shocked expression, the nurse quickly sensed something was off and hurriedly found another video to play.– Mr. Jaekwan. Coming to the fourth round and presenting this level of work, don’t you feel sorry for the contestants who were eliminated in the previous rounds?That’s right. I wasn’t just a jerk who hurled harsh words at young girls around the age of 20. I was an equally rude bastard to everyone, including an elderly contestant nearing sixty.The nurse soon received another call and quickly left the room. My mind seemed to have left this world along with her. If I became famous through TV appearances, I must have made a lot of money, right? Only then did I understand the nurse’s joke about how no one would be hospitalized if they had to worry about medical bills. But understanding didn’t help my still overwhelming situation.“Mr. Lee Suhan. You should be thankful that you can stand and walk on your own now.”The photos of the accident scene shown by the insurance agent were utterly horrific. The car’s body, a foreign model, was crumpled as if it had been folded in half, the guardrail had broken off towards the mountainside, and the broken trees seemed to affirm the miracle of my survival. Despite the severe injuries and slow recovery, I should be grateful I could walk on my own two feet, breathe with my own lungs, and use my hands to hold things.However, if surviving with no memory of myself was a miracle, I couldn’t understand its purpose. Was it to reflect on my past life of wounding others with my words and to start anew? I didn’t know. Damn it, what am I supposed to do now? The unanswered question echoed like a void.In my confused state, something else troubled me more. To ease the pain from the physical trauma, I was prescribed painkillers three times a day and a sedative before sleep. The intention was to prevent me from gasping and writhing in agony during the night. I understood that much.What really bothered me was someone who only appeared when I was about to fall asleep. At first, I couldn’t tell if it was a man or a woman. I just knew that someone besides me was sitting by my bed or standing by the window looking out into the corridor, quietly watching me. Initially, I assumed it was a nurse. But I realized it wasn’t a nurse because of the clothes.Medical staff wore designated uniforms. In this hospital, the uniforms were a light pastel-toned jade color.This mysterious figure’s clothes changed daily. Sometimes gray, the next day navy, then black. I couldn’t clearly identify them due to the drowsiness, but one thing was certain: this person liked monochromatic clothes.“What the…”Whenever I tossed or tried to wake up, they would quickly leave and disappear. Who were they? Can visitors come at this hour? Or was it a ghost? After much contemplation, I concluded:“I think this person might be the hidden culprit behind my accident.”After nearly two weeks of pondering, the man sitting at the other end of the bench responded.“That could be possible…”Seeing him take my joke seriously and nodding made me burst out laughing for the first time in a while.“Just kidding. It’s just one of those things that could be possible. Or maybe I’m just trying to justify that the accident wasn’t entirely my fault…”“I see…”The man, who listened to my story with a serious expression, was the first person I interacted with after being able to go out for a walk without the caregiver’s help, thanks to my repetitive rehabilitation training. His name was Park Taeoh, in his mid-thirties, and the father of a six-year-old child who was hospitalized in the pediatric intensive care unit, unable to leave the hospital even for a day.Was he a single father? Worried that my subconscious might inadvertently spew some hurtful words, I carefully listened to his story. His wife was working overseas, being the sole breadwinner. The wife, a ‘goose mom’ earning a higher income, while the father quit all his jobs to take care of their child. When I first saw him in the rooftop garden, he was silently trembling with sobs.Whenever the child’s condition slightly improved, he felt as if he had gained the world, only to swallow his tears again when the condition worsened. Taeoh and I had little in common except for our age and gender. Well, to be precise, not even gender. I was an Omega, and he was a Beta. Yet, we were both in a hopeless situation, leading to casual greetings whenever we met. He was the first to introduce himself, recognizing me, and we ended up sharing our grievances within the hospital.“Anyways, isn’t it suspicious? If they were just family or acquaintances, wouldn’t they visit while I was awake rather than sneaking in while I’m asleep?”“Yes, that’s definitely strange.”The man nodded in agreement. His initial words after getting to know me a bit better still lingered in my mind, making me suppress a laugh.‘Wow… Seriously, you’re so different from your TV persona. It surprises me every time.’What had I done to make such an impression? Taeoh constantly praised how much more down-to-earth and human I seemed now. Was my past self some inhumane, reckless robot obsessed with money? The sarcastic joke came to mind, but I held it back.Borrowing Taeoh’s phone to search my name was a real eye-opener.[StarSense News: Kitchen Player Lee Suhan’s Harsh Words to Elderly Contestant][○○ Daily: Seosang Group’s Food Service Division’s Lee Suhan, Consultation Fee Controversy in Apgujeong A Restaurant][Daily○○: Despite Unfavorable Reputation, Kitchen Player Lee Suhan’s Continuous TV Appearances]A young, cold-hearted executive at the pinnacle of the Korean food service management industry. The photo in the article showed me with the corners of my mouth turned up, but I didn’t look happy. Despite my upright posture and direct gaze, there was an air of loneliness about me. My characteristic sarcastic intimidation must have concealed it from everyone. Though it was clearly my face, it exuded no warmth or human touch.Unable to keep the phone for long, I skimmed through the top articles and brief profiles. As I watched the short clips, I could only guess what harsh words I had spewed as a judge on the cooking competition show for five seasons. A voice-synthesized video with 2 million views on YouTube was practically enshrined.Zi-zi-zi-zi-zi, Now↗, is this↘ the~best, se-se-se-se-se-se, result! You! You! You!As the screen showed my head elongating like a dragon and spinning around to a beat, Taeoh stifled his laughter almost to tears beside me. Yeah… If it weren’t my face, I would have laughed too. The more I searched, the more I found myself a punching bag and source of parodies for netizens, so I stopped looking.After a brief search, I concluded: Lee Suhan, the young executive of a major food service division and the infamous harsh judge of a sponsored competition show, seems to have received divine retribution. The end.Sigh…A sigh of disbelief escaped me, leaving my mind a mess. So, am I more down-to-earth now compared to back then? I couldn’t tell. I was just giving up. Not knowing what I could do or what I had, there was no benefit in being prickly and sensitive. It would only hurt me and isolate me from any help I could get. To combat my immediate anxiety, I had to consciously maintain a bright and cheerful demeanor.Who am I, really, if not the bastard Lee Suhan others saw? No one could answer the existential question. The only thing I could decide was how I would live from now on. Whatever kind of person I was in the past, the present me was Lee Suhan and yet also not Lee Suhan.“Oh, it’s time for rounds. I’ll head down first. See you next time.”“Time flew by. Sure, see you next time.”As Taeoh left for his child’s rounds, I was left alone again, gazing at the koi fish gulping in the rooftop garden pond. Is Park Taeoh happy now? His child still needed at least three more surgeries before being discharged, with each surgery risking death. His wife was a ‘goose mom,’ and he had quit his job. If he had known things would turn out this way, would he have had a child? Would he have even gotten married? Marriage is supposed to be for mutual happiness, after all.Watching him swing between heaven and hell with each test result left a bitter taste in my mouth. I’m not really in a position to pity anyone, though. Everyone makes choices without being certain of the outcomes. That was true for me before I lost my memory as well. I didn’t know it would turn out like this. At the time, I must have thought it was okay or that it was the best choice. Accepting the results is a task for the future self who must take responsibility. It was a universal truth that no one could escape, no matter how unfair it seemed.Ugh, I shouldn’t be thinking about such strange, pseudo-philosophical stuff. I roughly tousled my long, grown-out hair and stood up. My hands were still in casts, and my left leg would need to remain immobile for another month, but I was alive. No matter how much of a jerk I was in the past, if I made a living through TV, I couldn’t have been going around killing or harming people. Even if I went around spewing harsh words with my sharp tongue.After coming to a brief conclusion, I gathered my crutches and headed back to the hospital room. I survived. Dissociative amnesia typically occurs to protect oneself from external trauma. What exactly did I want to protect myself from before I lost my memory? What was I so afraid of? I decided to shelve these unanswerable questions once more.As time passed, I focused on my recovery instead of worrying about who I was, and two weeks after regaining consciousness, my rehabilitation showed clear progress, leading to discussions about my discharge. Even by then, no one came to visit me except for a middle-aged professional caregiver. Naturally, he was hired help, not a relative.“It’s really strange. Am I being held captive or something?”My joke, accompanied by a shrug, made Taeoh burst into laughter.“That can’t be. We’re in the middle of Seoul….”I thought my speculation was serious. It had been over 15 days since I had been conscious in the hospital. The first week was chaotic, but by the second week, things began to feel suspicious. On the 14th day, I asked the caregiver to bring me my phone. The response I got was utterly ridiculous.“I’ll talk to your guardian.”That’s right. Surprisingly, I had a guardian. Who on earth could they be, and why haven’t they shown up in nearly three weeks since I regained consciousness? The caregiver’s response the next day was even more absurd.“They said it’s difficult right now.”Difficult? What is? If my guardian were my parents, there’d be no reason not to bring my phone. So, I asked who my guardian was, but the caregiver said it would be better to discuss it in person. Nothing made sense. Was the real culprit behind my accident involved? Suspicion began to outweigh my fear.And there was one more creepy thing. If a celebrity got hurt this badly, wouldn’t there be news about the accident? However, when I borrowed Taeoh’s phone to search my name on a portal site, all that came up were my basic birthdate and the programs I appeared on. There was no news about the accident, as if someone had tried to cover it up.“All I do all day is sleep, walk, eat, walk, eat, and sleep again. I can’t tell the difference between this and being held captive. Whatever I ask, they just say it’s difficult right now.”Taeoh still treated my words as a joke and patted my shoulder.“Don’t worry too much. Suhan, you’re a good person. Just think of all this as a tough time you’re getting through, and only good things are ahead.”All I had given him were a few words of comfort, yet he called me a good person. The last part made no sense, but I appreciated the sentiment even though it didn’t really comfort me. After a brief sigh, I ended my afternoon walk and returned to my room, where the joy of imminent discharge was overshadowed by the continued mystery of the man who only visited when I was asleep.Could that person be my guardian? There were too many unknowns. This couldn’t go on. I finally decided to confront him. How? I had a plan.The man, whether he was the hidden perpetrator of my accident or my guardian, only came when I was deeply asleep from the sedatives. Though the hospital room didn’t have any locks, since the medical staff had to check on patients even in the middle of the night, it was unusual for someone to come and go at such hours unless they had permission. To end this suspicious situation, I didn’t take the sedative I was supposed to that evening and hid it instead.Because of that, I couldn’t sleep for a long time and tossed and turned, but without the sedative’s drowsy effect, I felt ready to open my eyes at the slightest noise. As the room lights were turned off and the hallway lights dimmed, the surroundings gradually darkened.In the distance, there were still faint noises from other floors where people were working or on duty, but even that quieted down as dawn approached. The night in a private hospital room was excessively quiet and somewhat lonely. I realized that without the sedatives, I would have had to endure nights like this every day. Ignoring the throbbing pain in my ankle, I pretended to sleep with my eyes closed.How much time passed? With a creak, the door opened, and someone entered. What are they going to do now? I waited until they got closer, my eyes tightly shut. After a rustling sound of outerwear, someone pulled the caregiver’s chair close to my bed and sat down. And then… nothing happened. Even with my eyes closed, I could feel an intense gaze on me.What’s there to see in the sleeping face of a man in his mid-thirties? I thought he had peculiar tastes but waited quietly to see if he would do something else. Counting sheep… one sheep… two sheep… three sheep… With nothing else to do while pretending to sleep, I passed the time in the classic way, but he continued to just stare at me without any other actions. He didn’t touch me or even adjust my disheveled blanket, just sat there quietly.I couldn’t take it anymore. Pretending to sleep to avoid falling asleep was manageable for 10 to 20 minutes, but I felt like I was really going to fall asleep. Just as I was about to give in, I reached out in the direction I guessed he was in and grabbed whatever I could.“…!”When I opened my eyes, I saw a man whose coat hem I had firmly grasped. Even in the dark, I could tell he had very fair skin, thin and red lips, making him look quite beautiful at first glance. But he wasn’t just a slender and delicate-looking person. I was fairly tall, but he was taller than me and seemed well-built, as if he kept himself in good shape.The man, startled and flustered, tried to remove my hand, but I held on with the strength I had built up from my rehabilitation. I asked the question I had been wondering about for nearly three weeks.“Who exactly are you, coming here like this?”My voice was sharp from the urgency of the situation, but his answer was beyond anything I had imagined.“I… am Lee Suhan’s husband.”* * *“We’ll arrive soon. We’re almost there.”At his words, I awkwardly lifted my head to look out the car window. It had been a week since I first confronted the man. I had finally received permission to be discharged. The man who introduced himself as my husband was named Jo Yeonseo. He seemed to be in his late twenties to early thirties. I couldn’t tell for sure since I hadn’t asked directly.“There was no mention of a spouse in the profile when I searched.”Apparently, unless you or a related party specifically requests it, details like marital status aren’t included. Sure, I wasn’t a big celebrity or entertainer, just a food industry expert known for my harsh critiques. Who would be interested in who I married? When I added “married” to “Lee Suhan” in the search, I found a gossip article featuring a brief mention of my marriage. It was described as the “Cinderella Man marriage of a workaholic Omega.”Searching for Jo Yeonseo didn’t yield many results. He had returned from studying abroad recently and was known in the gossip columns as the handsome heir to the Sesang Group. The most recent record was a short article announcing his marriage, among other business announcements.For netizens looking for materials to create memes or parodies, marriage and spouses weren’t of much interest. I tried to shake off the addictive jingle playing in my head.I was initially shocked to learn that I was married, but soon found myself chuckling at the absurdity of suspecting my husband, who had been visiting me after work as a caregiver with access to my private room, of being the perpetrator. Though I couldn’t feel any real connection to being married, his expression convinced me that our relationship was far from ordinary.The man was very reserved and, except for the moment when I startled him by grabbing him, he never showed any intense reactions.‘I understand you were surprised. However, as you are still recovering and have no memory of recent events, I planned to visit you while you were awake soon.’Still, was it normal for a spouse to secretly visit for over three weeks without revealing themselves because their partner had memory loss? It seemed clear that our marriage wasn’t typical. There wasn’t any concrete evidence, but given my reputation as a notorious jerk on TV, it was hard to imagine I would have been good at married life. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how true this was, even though it felt like admitting to spitting in my own face.Amid the awkward atmosphere, I asked if he could bring me my phone. The next day, the caregiver handed me a brand-new, top-of-the-line phone, which seemed to have been recently activated. There was a short text message from a number registered simply as “Jo Yeonseo,” without any sweet nicknames like “Honey♡” or “Babe♡”.