To Love, Once Again

"My mother died falling off horseback"

That revelation left Sera gasping. It winded her more than her fall from the tree. The ground itself felt like it had become like jello as she placed a hand on her own stomach to steady herself.

Feeling her body quivering within his embrace, Lucien pulls her closer to support her sways. With his large arms carefully wrapped themselves around her waist, Sera could feel his heart still thudding frantically.

"I'm..I'm sorry." Sera whispered.

That was why he was so protective of her, . WHen a maid, she'd been practically glued to his side after that first day, ignoring his burning looks searing into her skin while she worked. No wonder that first time after they'd chosen each other, he hovered over her with more care than her own mother.

"No need to apologize. It is something I cannot change." His warm breath fanned against her skin with the muffled response.

Indignation at herself creates furrows between her brunette brows. If she'd known, she wouldn't have gone prancing off to farm some honey. If she'd known, she would have tried to be...

To be.. 

The furrows between her brows dug deeper.

More careful?

"I didn't know.."

Fingers digging into the hard muscles of his back, Sera fiercely hugs Lucien back. She was drowning. Drowning in the knowing of the pain she must have caused Lucien yet again.

You left. You abandoned your husband. You threw away your newborn baby. 

Her past screamed at her, opening up its jagged maw trying to drag her into the depths of her despair. Trying to surround her in her shame, the feeling of unworthiness and disappointment in herself overwhelming.

You made Lucien worry again. Like before.

Pain unfurls, stinging into her heart like salt over the old wounds. 

"I-"

The soft cloth of Lucien's shirt presses into her cheeks when she burrows deeper into his embrace.

"I'm not doing anything right, am I?" She asks, lips quirking sadly at her own foolishness. Her breath catches on the knot in her throat.

"Sera." Lucien presses a kiss atop her head.

Large hands continued to stroke her back, her waist. A wholly comforting gesture. Now look at yourself Sera. Her broken conscience spoke up once again.

Making him comfort you.

What a good wife you are.

The taste of iron spreading over her tongue registers. She'd accidentally bit her cheek while gritting her teeth.

Soft touches skate up her back, Lucien's fingers gently tilting her face up towards him. Unable to look at him yet, Sera kept her eyes knitted tightly together. She doesn't see the soft smile that invokes in Lucien, the eyes filled with love and tenderness.

Sera only felt the whisper-light touches of a kiss on both eyes, smoothing the tight wrinkles out.

"Sera, please, love. Look at me."

With a slow trepidation, she finally opens her eyes, slightly. With the sun behind Lucien, it was hard for her to figure out his expression.

Soon, all Sera could see was the vast blue sky above her, Lucien leaning down to whisper in her ear.

"You want to know a secret?" Lucien whispers.

"Everything I do, I don't know if I'm doing right either."

He smoothes out the wrinkles between her brows.

"Which makes two of us, then." 

Lucien's hands were warm as he reaches down to hold her tightly fisted hands within his large palm.

"Don't worry Sera. We'll figure this out together."

To feel Lucien comforting her, so similar to the way she would comfort him did strange things to Sera's belly. It made her forget the depression creeping over her. Though the words 

Sera takes a deep breath.

There was hope for her. For them both. She couldn't let her sorrows drown out the happiness she worked so hard to achieve.

Remember your goal! Don't give up!

"Because we're a family now?" Sera asked, remembering their last conversation.

"Yes. Family."

Lucien nods, stooping in for a kiss on the lips. It didn't end there.

"Well then, let's get to know each other better. Since we're a family." 

Murmuring, with eyes locked on her plump pink lips, Lucien leans in again.

"Ahem!"

They had company!

Sera jumps away from Lucien.

At least, she tried to.

But the man refused to acknowledge the presence nearby, contiuing to rain sweet kisses on her lips, nibbling at them to open.

"Luci-Mmh!"

His tongue slips in, twining with hers when she opens her mouth to stop him. Their tongues swirled together, Lucien refusing to let her go as she tried to retreat from him.

Tracing over her teeth, her lips, and softly teasing her lips until they glistened. Sera couldn't help the blush that rose to her face. Any dark thought she'd had before was gone. Her focus was completely dominated by Lucien now. All she could do was focus on the pulsing in her belly, her fast breaths, and the fresh taste of him on her lips.

"Ahem!"

The second cough jerks her back to reality. Tearing her lips away from Lucien's, Sera could feel her face positively glowing with embarrassment. 

They were no better than the teenagers in her world, making out in public without a care who was watching.

To keep Lucien from kissing her again and to hide her blush, Sera buries her head in Lucien's thick neck, biting at the strong cords of his neck in frustration.

A little bite like this was nothing to Lucien and they both knew it. 

"A-hem!"

"Go to the herb woman and get your throat healed or speak, man! Get on with it."

Everyone could hear the growl in the King's voice frowning at the unwelcome intruder.

"Ah-Well."

The man, one of the clerks who'd been the one unlucky enough to be chosen to fetch the King, chokes down his next cough, seemingly at loss for words under the intensity of Lucien's gaze. On his back was a leather pack overflowing with papers. There were even more under one arm. Sheaves of paper crumpled under his arm as he wilted before the King.

His thin legs were quivering as the clerk stared somewhere beyond Lucien's shoulder.

Sera realizes then that she was still being held in Lucien's arms, feet dangling in the air. "Let me down, please" she whispers. Lucien complies, albeit with great reluctance.

After patting the grass down and raking his fingers through the green fronds to check for rocks, Lucien sets Sera down softly, arranging her skirts so that it doesn't bunch up uncomfortably under her body.

"Y-Your majesties, please excuse the interruption."

Sera smiled, relaxing into his care. If the nobles saw this scene, they would definitely disapprove. But they weren't here. Only the knights that stood a ways off, looking anywhere but at the two of them. Lucien tucks a loose strand behind her ear while the poor clerk does his best to deliver the message he'd been entrusted with.

"S-sire, the trade proposals with the traveling merchants of Agamor require your perusal. At your earliest convenience, I've been ordered to relay to you"

"There was that." Lucien sighs, rubbing the space between his brows. Many of the documents he had to go through were time sensitive, requiring answers that very same day.

"Have the ministers come to a conclusion on what we discussed before?"

"Yes, sire. They have entrusted me with the written summary to deliver to you, as well as the most urgent of missives." He carefully shrugs off the large leather pack, bowing and setting it at Lucien's feet.

"Those wily men. Working the King for what he's worth, aren't they?"

Confused, the clerk opens and closes his mouth, not sure whether the King was addressing him or speaking to himself. Sera smiles, seeing him breathe a silent, but large sigh of relief when Lucien ignores him and begins to look through the papers at the top of the pack.

"Have a pen and notes on you, Ralph?"

The clerk's shoulders jerk at the mention of his name.

"Ye-?"

Sera smiles at the changing expressions on the clerk's face. Surprised, then blushing red at the King calling him by name.

"Yes!" 

Rushing to hand the King his pen and notes, the clerk bows profusely, but with less fear compared to before.

Sera pops her head up from behind Lucien, addressing the clerk who'd decided that the ink spots on his sleeves was suddenly worthy of detailed inspection.

"Excuse me. Sir?" 

"Oh! N-no! P-please call me Ralph, Your Majesty." Bowing profusely, Ralph scuttles backwards with his hands raised. 

"Was Lucy alright?" 

He blinked owlishly at the sudden question.

"Lucy?"

"You know, the maid who was here a little earlier."

Ding! The clerk, Ralph's eyes blink again.

"Yes, Your Majesty. A little worse for the wear, but the maid is fine, asleep. The cook is watching her now,  the herb woman has been called to visit."

"I'm glad!"

Sera breathes a sigh of relief at the news. Lucy would need to get checked up on as soon as she woke up.

Sera and Ralph's conversation awkwardly ends at the sound of paper rustling. Lucien ties the bag closed once more and slings it over his shoulder.

What looked like a large pack on Ralph's shoulders looked more like a pouch on Lucien. With one hand, Lucien picks up the bucket full of honeycombs. In his other hand, he pulled the cart filled with Sera's honey-gathering tools.

At this point, the great Red King appeared now as a regal tramp. Sera refuses to blink, not wanting to miss this sight. This was a rare sight indeed. If the people in town could see him now, they wouldn't be so scared of him.

"Have Icaros or one of his men bring the rest of my documents to the cottage. "

The cottage! Lucien was coming back to the cottage with her. Nervous excitement flutters in Sera's chest.

"I don't want to be a distraction. What about the rest of your meetings?"

"Never a distraction. You are my Queen. It should be me asking for your permission to be with you."

"Besides, my meetings for the day are done." Lucien quips, reaching out a hand to help Sera stand.

"Permission to accompany you to your home, my Queen?"

Sera blushes, accepting his hand.

"Permission granted, my King."