To Grow

School was boring. It was doing the same thing over and over. Sometimes, we get a PE block. It was just playing games. With everyone forbidden to use their power, it was even more boring. There were a few people who couldn't turn off their power, as it was a passive ability, like a general full body enhancement. I also saw a few people like me. There was one with scales, one with digitigrade legs, one with bark-like skin, and a few with horns and/or sharp ears. There were also a few with animal tails.  

Everything was so boring. At least I got everything I need, and the area around the school seemed to be filled with squirrels, mice, and small birds. I stayed away from the birds, though. They were bony, and feathers just get stuck in my throat.

I sometimes debated with myself on buying a phone. But with buying a phone, I also needed to buy data, insurance, and with the phone itself I might need to use money to buy apps. 

Better so save my allowance in case something happens. I also turned some of it to bills, which were kept in a locked box on my desk. 

In the end, I decided to buy a few books. A few encyclopedias, even though my reading speed was slow, and one fantasy book. The cashier insisted passionately and insistently. It was about swords and dragons and helpless maidens. I didn't really like the helpless maiden part. She just felt so weak and useless. If I was the hero, I would've left her to die by now.

The bleeding came again, though, and luckily, this time, I knew what to do. It turned out that bleeding from my...what was the word again... bottom? It turned out that bleeding through my bottom was actually normal, and that all human women did it. It was a sign of 'womanhood'. 

Just why were humans designed that way?

The one class I had some hope in, Battlemaster, was disappointing. It was a fighting game, yes, but there were so many rules. Rules for how to begin, rules on how to 'safely' defeat your opponent, rules on what was allowed, rules on the arena itself, rules rules rules. Plus, it was crowded with students because it's a popular sport.

So I asked if I could switch classes. There was one other class open. Woodworking. That was interesting. There weren't too many students, and required minimum speech. Once I got started, it was satisfying to make structures out of my own hands. The teacher of that class preferred quiet too. He noticed my interest, and offered to teach me how to carve. That sounded nice.

My roommate and I kept our distance, but often, she would sneak out during the middle of the night and come back in the morning either drunk, high, or stinking of sex. Sometimes all three. That caused my nose to get uncomfortable.

But when she sneaks out, it gives me a few hours to shift into my quick furred form, and relax. I understand now that my human form is my base form, but I was most comfortable in my quick furred form. 

The days passed, until it was winter break. Winter break at this school meant that there weren't any lessons, and that family members could visit. During winter break, it would get pretty cold, though it was nothing compared to the Fingard forest. It struck me as odd that I was awake and active during the winter, because to me, it was still the great cold, when the forest was deathly still, and when the snow muffled all sound.

Summer's family came in multiple times. Usually, it was an older lady, and an old lady. Summer practically reeked of guilt, even for my human form's nose.

Her relatives greet me, and I greet them back. I once tried to smile, but that seemed to frighten them. 

I also noticed that I was taller than most if not all females I met, and was as tall or taller than most males I meet.

My classmates also avoid me. Actually, all the other students avoided me. 

The Dean came in once. We had some casual conversation, and he left. 

"That your dad?" Summer had asked me once he was gone. 

"No," I had replied. "Bye." I had said, because that was how you correctly end conversations.

Winter break came and ended, and school began again. Our schedules were changed, and now, I had English, PE, History, and -because I asked- woodworking again. This term, I was going to begin carving.

Math and Science from last term, I was good at. It was the word problems that mostly managed to stump me, though. As for Social Studies, I always scored full points on multiple choice questions, but never on essay writing. 

PE was easy, because no matter how much my body had deteriorated during my unknown length of time stuck within that white box, my physical body was just suited for speed, and to some extent, strength. 

Everyone continued to avoid me, even the stronger ones. During the dead of night sometimes, I would feel a gnawing sensation in my chest because of that. I wanted to talk to someone, but I wasn't sure how to do so. I would sometimes make attempts, but that just made my conversation partner shiver and stink with sour fear. 

I would find people pointing at me, or stopping their conversation abruptly. My hearing was sharp, though, and I would usually hear what they were discussing.

They seemed to stay away out of admiration and fear. 

As I wandered the halls, the crowd making an empty bubble of space just for me -like always- I felt more like a spectre than a flesh being. Now I think back to it, my time at Fingard forest wasn't very enjoyable. It was just me, trying desperately to survive, to claw out a space for myself. 

Why am I so desperate to return? What was the point?  

Life in school was different. I was the apex predator here. But I was still alone, and my aversion of crowds did nothing to help.

As I ruminated on my thoughts, I felt an object making its way into me. I stepped out of the way swiftly, and heard the sound of a body crashing onto the floor. I looked down, and saw a girl, wearing the school uniform, her black hair scattered around her, and her backpack fallen on the floor, its contents spilling on the ground. She lifted herself to a sitting position, and rubbed the corner of her eye, where she had probably hit the ground, her hands somehow failing to catch her. I noticed how her emerald green eyes gazed around the crowd in a mix of horror, shock, and embarrassment. 

I heard a few gasps, and the crowd abruptly backed away even more. Now everyone had their attention on me, and my neck prickled at the sensation of being stared at by so many eyes. 

There was a trio of panting girls, all three wearing the same bandana on their head. The one in the middle glared at the girl kneeling on the ground, in front of my feet, and made a 'tch' sound. She then looked up at me, her face going deliberately blank, and walked away.

I looked down at the girl at my feet again. I walked away. The crowd parted, and I made my way towards my next class.