Chapter Seventy - Xenocide Act V; Tugging The Tiger By The Tail

"Sit down and talk it out, the way parents and children don't."

– Appellation to adulthood

 

***

 

"What do you think, Ypsilon? Are they gonna turn out fine?"

Ypsilon reacted to Leah's use of her, or its, full name by adopting a more serious, more adult version of her persona.

I do think so. It is obvious that there are elements to Tinea's past that Tynea did not foresee, and that Tinea's reaction exceeds the worst case Tynea had planned for.

But, it appears to me that she wasn't so far off with her predictions that there is a risk of conflict recovery failure.

Leah hummed and tilted her head.

"She's another one, isn't she? Tinea. Like me."

Probably.

"Is it the age?"

Yes. Or maturity, to be specific.

"Ah, yeah. And that explains why she's having a harder time with Tynea's actions than Tynea expected, huh? She's not…all mature, after all."

Indeed. I'm very confident she'll make the connections and be able to truly see Tynea for what she is, though. Like you.

Leah smiled.

"That'd be something, huh?"

Leah let the silence live, let thoughts percolate through her mind. Eventually, she asked the question that was both worry and hope.

"I have a feeling that she'd be less bound by obligations. More of what we need, than I. More willing to…go."

Everyone has their places, everyone is needed. You are, if not right now, usually where you are required. Humanity does not need her to leave you behind either, Leah. The Antithesis have already found you. They'll be everywhere in Sol. Including New Montreal. 

The war is not everything. Your Littles, they need your care as much as they need the Antithesis to die. And Tinea, natural fighter though she may be, does not need to abandon you for the war. It will, and has already, come to you, after all.

Leah exhaled. Buoyed by Ypsilon's reassurance, she abandoned the anxiety.

"Well, Ypsi! I have some fun ideas for Daddy Long-Legs!"

 

***

 

Tynea. Time to tug the tiger by the tail.

…Where'd that saying come from, actually?

Focus.

"Tynea?"

Yes?

"Why does you not being human, or not being part of our society, mean that you'd need to lie about stuff like the Quanta?"

It's not that it means I have to, it's that I shouldn't have to.

But our experiences with your species have taught us that we still need to.

Though, to be exact, it's not just your species. It's a fairly common constant among the organic populations of this galaxy.

"What do you mean?"

Are you aware that your species tends to react with a certain natural paranoia to the unknown?

"... I mean, yeah? Anxiety when you don't know what'll happen is normal?"

Yes. But it isn't always appropriate.

"Sure. It's just better safe than sorry."

That is the rationale behind that instinct, yes. But is it always good?

"Well, it's a safety bias, right? Be wrong once when you stick out your neck, and you're dead. Better to just not do it."

That would usually be correct. If it weren't, you wouldn't have successfully evolved that instinct after all.

But it is a protective measure that isn't always appropriate.

That triggered a thought, tickled an association in the back of my mind.

Inappropriate protective measures—like isolating myself. As a child, it preserved me. As an adult, it caused me harm instead…but I couldn't stop anymore. I was stuck with loneliness.

So…

"How would being careful around the unknown not be appropriate with you guys? It's not like you can't make mistakes, can you?"

Because no mistake we make is irreversible. Any item I offer you can be removed safely, or replaced with something better. Even your cerebral augment could be uninstalled in moments. You would experience a loss of capability and of the organic AI selves, but these negative effects would be countered with the right replacement.

That is very different from the circumstances that lead to the evolution of that instinct. You couldn't…undo an injury, as I can.

"So, why not just say that from the start? Why risk this kind of confrontation in the first place, Tynea?"

We have attempted that, but it was not a successful strategy. It did not meaningfully increase the rate of survival of the freshest Vanguards. By the time an exchange like the one we're currently engaging in opens up the doors, we've already lost an unnecessarily high number of the youngest Vanguards. Remember that the average age for suitable Vanguards lies just below the age of majority, where every member of your species is instinctively up in arms against any sort of authority and busy defining who they want to be.

When we first make contact with our Vanguard, we're placed in a very difficult position with few options to resolve it.

Our very design is highly intrusive, yet you need to deal, literally, with one of us. It helps greatly that the media spreads the knowledge of our teleporting ourselves into your brain, since that lowers at least some barriers to interaction with us. 

But actually experiencing our installation is still another thing entirely. Which, by the way, is also why it typically takes place during excessive injury—it is much easier to accept our presence when it just saved your life.

Nonetheless, prolonged acceptance of us, and the new status of being a Vanguard, is a major hurdle we must overcome.

Often, we do so through a series of careful probings and mild, repeated strain to the sovereignty of our host. Most of the time, the result is a slow organic lessening of rejection, the more the host recognizes that even our invasive offers are not damaging.

But sometimes we misjudge how our host would react, as I did with you. I had little issue integrating with you initially. Yet it is clear that I did not merely strain, but in fact injure, your sovereignty. I am still not sure how to reconcile your easy acceptance of myself with your strong reaction to my failure to inform you of the full extent of the Quanta's capabilities.

I sighed.

"It's not that complicated. There's even a common idiom for that. 'It's no use crying over spilled milk.' What has happened, has happened, and I can accept that without much stress. The issue is, how can I ensure your bullshit doesn't happen again? That's where I'm stuck with you."

I see.

Does it help to know that I will not offer any harm?

"A little. Sure. But you still severely disrespected me, Tynea."

When I took it into my own hands whether to inform you or not, as to the nature of the Quanta?

My fists clenched again, but the anger wasn't as hot anymore.

"Yes. So how do I make sure that doesn't happen again?"

Tynea didn't respond for a bit. Busy calculating?

I sighed. I was spent. More emotionally than physically, but I felt drained.

Fuck.

Almost listlessly, I tossed a 40mm grenade at a few Threes eighty meters away, and let the Myriad take care of their aerial accompaniment.

Sighing again, I dragged my scattered thoughts into some semblance of order, when one of my selves tagged me.

– Observation: Emotional vulnerability against treatment seen as potentially infantilizing. –

Infanti… What did that mean?

A text popped up on my HUD. AI-I had used the samurai Family app to access one of their mental health AIs and had been talking to it, exploring the whole conflict free from my own turmoil.

The last prompt was a question: What does 'infantilizing' mean?

The reply was a bit of a wall-of-text, but I read through it anyway.

 

In psychology, "infantilizing" refers to a process or behavior that treats or regards an individual, typically an adult, as if they were an infant or child. It involves treating someone in a way that undermines their autonomy, independence, or maturity, often by assuming they are incapable of handling or making decisions about certain aspects of their lives. Infantilizing behavior can be exhibited by individuals, caregivers, or even certain societal systems.

Infantilization can manifest in various ways, such as speaking to an adult in a patronizing or condescending manner, making decisions on their behalf without their input, excessively controlling their actions or choices, or denying them responsibilities or opportunities for personal growth. This behavior can have negative impacts on an individual's self-esteem, sense of competence, and overall well-being.

 

Well, shit. My mind whirled with pieces of memories, a dozen dozen situations I'd been in. I was well familiar with how strongly I rejected any sense of being pushed into a weak position, so similar to my life as a child. How I'd fought for years to control my reactions, until I'd been able to remain cool despite the provocations.

I saw how Tynea's decision to go over my head fell into that pattern in a new way, one that hurt particularly badly, from somebody who was supposed to be my ally on a very intimate level. 

…

I supposed it was good to have it spelled out. I kept reading.

 

It's important to note that infantilizing behavior is distinct from providing appropriate support, guidance, or care to individuals who genuinely require it, such as individuals with cognitive disabilities or certain medical conditions.

 

Ah, just the counter-balance, or rather, the limit of the definition. Alright.

– Advice: Use samurai resources to gain more access to psychological knowledge. –

That wasn't probably a bad idea, considering…

Once we got home. I had fish to fry, right now.

I was in a bit of a weird mood. Between the draining agitation and the sober analysis of AI-I, as much as she deserved a hug for the help, I felt…dislocated. A bit like I suddenly no longer had much of a stake in how things turned out.

I recognized that feeling. It wasn't good. It was how I'd run away. How I'd ended up as Aden the Adult whose happiness was always an effort.

Yeah, fuck that.

I'd promised myself. I'd promised I wouldn't live like that again. Wouldn't allow myself to get stuck and lonely.

I looked at the nail of my right ring-finger, considered how it would always grow with the wavy golden line, surrounded by the black abyss, with the bright light at the tip. I'd encoded that promise into my very DNA.

I clapped my cheeks with both hands, and drew a little pep from the action. Let it pull my shoulders back.

Alright. Here we go again.

"Tynea."

Yes?

"What do you feel are the differences between my priorities, and yours?"

As pertains to this conflict specifically?

…

"As good a place to start as any, I suppose. Yes."

On the one hand, I believe your primary concern is to remain inviolate. You appear to react with particular intensity to a certain aspect of my influence that overlaps with what you understand to be your own…sovereignty. You do not seem to care about the detrimental consequences of remaining inviolate, as if it were sacred to you.

Further, you value mutual respect highly. It appears to me that your willingness to interact with others rests deeply on the expectation that they treat you with the same respect offered by you. I can only assume that the roots of that lie in your childhood, or perhaps your earliest adulthood, of which I lack all data.

Well yeah. Sure did. Wasn't going to go into it. Not here, not now.

On the other hand, I care about probabilities, success rates, and the long view over the short view.

That…was a very particular emphasis on what appeared to be a non-sequitur.

A statement that the idea of respect didn't apply to her?

Um. If it didn't… Was my entire reaction baseless?

No. Even if it didn't, she'd still known that I would've preferred to give informed consent.

But Tynea was still an AI, not a human. How did that change things?

 

***