Chapter Ninety-Two - Surprise

"What do you call a pirate with two peg legs?

Stumped!"

– Road Rash to his Twitch chat, sitting down and holding up both his legs by half an ankle each after blowing up his other foot, April 2056

 

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Leah stumbled and stared at me, her mouth falling open. I thought she might've been too incredulous to blush.

"Seriously? You orgasmed in that explosion?" She asked incredulously. Then she blushed and snapped her mouth shut.

Yup. My guess was spot-on.

"Yes?" I asked innocently, tilting my head at her, making big innocent eyes and holding back laughter. I kept walking.

She sputtered. "You…" She waved her hands at me. I couldn't help it anymore and laughed. Leah blushed harder and hmphed at me, before catching up again. Then she flicked me on the nose and raised an eyebrow. With a rather more serious voice, she asked, "Well? How's that work? Why?"

I smiled at her easily, dropping the childishness. "It's not that uncommon, actually. A lot of people experience that kind of, uh, excitement. And it's not necessarily pleasant, depending on how often it happens, when it happens…how intrusive it is. Not a lot of people like to talk about it, even though it might not even be sexual in nature. It's just that others don't get how that works, and start acting all weird."

"And you?" Leah asked, looking at me.

"Mmm." I turned forward and thought a bit. "I think it started as a coping mechanism. Or maybe, survival mechanism? Did I tell you about my childhood?"

"A bit. You told me that you grew up in an old religious cult, the kind that prays to a god, and that they pretty much vilified you. Fanatically. You had no mother? And, that's pretty much it. Well, you explained how you wanted to become a woman, but I don't think that's relevant?"

I shook my head. "Not relevant, no. Related, but not relevant. That cult wasn't just fanatical. They were mercenaries, too. Still are, I suspect. I don't imagine they went under. And they weren't shy about fielding children. A lot of us."

Leah's face blanched, and then she got angry. It was a horrified anger that twisted my stomach, and hers too, by her complexion. Leah's eyes went hollow as uncomprehending disbelief drew her face, mixed with unbelieving rejection against the evil things I spoke of. My hands shook a little and I drew her in for a hug.

"I'm okay, Leah." I slowly gentled her hair, over and over. "It's okay. I got out long ago. I survived, and I've become…more human, since then. I'm okay, now."

She hugged me tighter and started crying. That's when I connected the dots. She cared a lot about children. More than a lot. They were kind of her reason to exist.

Shit. I shifted on my feet and worried at my lips. Drew in a heavy breath.

I'd brought it up without realizing, but… Should I not have? No… That wasn't really an option, either. It was a pretty important part of my, uh, origin story. It wasn't something smart to be secretive about, at least not around somebody who may or may not, be more than a friend.

My arms tightened around Leah, and I kept stroking the back of her head and down her spine. Maybe I should've waited until we were at her home and she had her friends around? Would that have made a difference?

I…didn't know. I couldn't know. In the end, it had happened, and I'd see where Leah went with it. It wouldn't have been the first time she was exposed to something like this, either. Maybe it just hit her this hard, cause she knew me personally.

Ah, well. I kept petting and soothing her.

It didn't take long for Leah to catch herself. She straightened up and looked me in the eyes, while slowly stroking along my cheeks. I froze.

Uh…

She leaned in and kissed me on the lips. Softly. She wasn't looking for anything. She wasn't even testing anything, or me. She was just talking to me. She was saying yes.

My heart beat so fast I got a little dizzy, my tail windmilled through the air behind me, and most of my endless ruminations just…shut up and evacuated, for once. I was so present I saw even the slightest shivers of her lids.

Leah knew I wanted her, and she was saying yes. To me. My arms sunk to around her waist, kind of forgotten, and I closed my eyes and pressed my closed lips into hers. Just a little, just barely allowing myself to bask in the intimate touch.

Happiness filled my heart and spilled from my tear ducts. I shook a little with the power of it, felt my hands respond to the nervous joy and vibrate, too.

Then I gently broke contact. I tightened my hands around her waist and leaned back, watching Leah's eyes flutter open. There was that gorgeous green that clashed and melded with the red of her hair, and the dangerous, scary, fuck-off white, black, and gold of her alien eye. Her smile softened when she saw tears tracking down my cheeks, and she gently drew a thumb across my happy, almost drunken smile, making me shiver again, and my arms tighten.

My lips fell open under her finger, and I quietly asked, "Leah?" And she understood.

"Well," she said in the softest voice I'd ever heard, "I figured my worries about you around the children were misplaced, considering who you are today despite your childhood. I have a feeling that there's only ever going to be non-issues that can be talked through, with you, hmm?

"So, I'm gonna take you," Leah murmured as she stared me in the eyes and the intensity of her made me clench my abs. Her hand wandered around to cup the back of my head, before she continued, "and make you mine."

Her other arm tightened around my waist and pulled me fully into her. The full-body contact seared me, forced a half-moan half-whine through my throat, and I shivered through another "Leah," as my knees went weak and my tail wrapped itself around her shoulders for comfort and for stability.

"Yes, Tinea?" She asked, smiling smugly. 

Air moved through my vocal cords, but my lips were swollen and sensitive and numb at the same time, so I only managed a "Whuaah", and I couldn't really form a coherent thought, but there was stuff niggling at the back of my mind. Even as I scrambled to get a hold of something that felt important, Leah moved her hand from my hips and lifted me up by my bum, just like I'd done for her earlier. 

But she had to lift me higher, and I wasn't used to this and my tail curled around us more, and then my face was level with hers and I saw her smile widen at my wide-eyed expression. The sensation of being treated like the woman I wanted to be washed through me and touched me in ways I wasn't used to, either, and I was completely out of my element, and thrilled to helplessness.

So Leah leaned in and nibbled on my lips, while I just breathed and whined and opened them for her so she could keep going.

And she did, and I slowly got used to it. I got used to it, and recovered bit-by-bit, until I moved away to lay my head on her shoulder instead, where she tucked me close and squeezed me tight, as she began to walk again, carrying me, even though I wasn't that light with my battle skirt.

I smiled and exhaled a long breath. Part of me had relaxed all the way to the core, and part of me was slowly starting to think again, consider things from different perspectives. And I did have a lot of things to sort out.

I let my eyes fall closed again as I rubbed my cheek against the side of Leah's neck. My tail was still wrapped around us and did most of the holding. One of my antennae was totally focused on Leah, patting all over her back, and the other was sensing our surroundings. Her scent drifted up my nose, and if my brain wasn't so busy plucking recent events apart, I thought I'd be drifting off to sleep.

But, nope. There was stuff to talk about, after all.

So I opened my mouth. "Leah?"

"Hmm?" Her hum vibrated through my chest a little and I snuggled even closer.

"I'm worried that there might be dependencies between us. That they might've had something to do with, you know. You wanting me."

It hadn't escaped my notice that she'd specifically said "she'd make me hers", which, even though it was so very thrilling and made me blush furiously, didn't contain the word "love".

Which hurt and made all kinds of things pull tight inside of me. But Leah patted my head and kneaded my shoulder until I relaxed again.

"I know. And maybe the worry isn't entirely unfounded… But I'm not the people I depend on, Tinea. Neither they, nor any dependencies, control me, and whatever I may or may not have latched onto, I do see you. There's much to respect. Much to learn from. You're worth loving, with or without any other factors involved."

I broke, and I cried. Relief slammed through me and washed away all the worry and anxiety in a big great flood of easing tensions and disappearing pain. I squeezed tight enough to make Leah ooph, and she returned the favor and made me laugh wetly.

She pulled away, took my chin in her fingers, and kissed me full-on, open lips and tongue teasing mine. I squeaked and giggled, and returned the favor. I nibbled on her bottom lip and enjoyed the pillowy feel, tickled the underside of her tongue when she dragged it along my upper lip, and moaned when she made me open my jaws and devoured me until I couldn't breathe anymore.

My knees were tight around her waist and I'd subconsciously risen up during the whole thing, until my hands were resting on her shoulders and her face was turned up to look at me, with a wicked, wicked smile on her. My tail was swishing through the air behind me like a cat's, agitated and full of the vibrating energy that shook my entire body just a little.

I was on an entirely different kind of high, and I loved it. I loved Leah, and I told her so, and with a brilliant smile she said, "I love you too, Tinea." And I was gone, up in the clouds, well beyond the reach of any earthly concerns.

I started crying again, happy and overwhelmed tears, and dropped down to hug her with arms, legs, and tail, like a monkey.

Leah resumed walking, idly stroking up and down my back as I emptied all the gas tanks on my emotions. She was humming quietly, some kind of lullaby I thought, which was very sweet, but also just a little weird. But I decided to let the vibe carry me into that spent state of deep relaxation.

I breathed easily, calm and centered, letting the night and its noises flow through me. 

Finally, I climbed off of Leah and walked next to her, giving her a happy smile, and took her hand as we kept moving.

She giggled out of nowhere. "So, wanna tell me more about your orgasms?" Leah said with a laugh.

"Sure!" I replied blithely with a grin. "They're actually really intense, and I can't quite keep quiet during them!" And laughed when Leah flushed and showed playful chagrin. Yup, walked right into that one!

A little more soberly, I picked up the explanation from earlier again. "You'd think that fighting as a kid was a horrible thing—and maybe it was. But it was also when I didn't have to listen to my…elders. There was just me and my rifle, and a few of the other kids, and the place we were supposed to go to and fight.

"And I was very, very good at that. It didn't matter how far away I was, if I could see them, I could hit them. It didn't matter how close I was, if I could move, I could hurt them. And the few times that their masks broke and I saw the…people beneath, I distracted myself with the things I was feeling. The battle fever. It…didn't stay a fever. By the time I was eleven, I'd learned to orgasm from bad injuries, 'cause the pain would stop me from moving and fixing myself, otherwise. Of course, I didn't know what orgasms were, at the time."

Leah's hands shook in mine, so I stopped for a few minutes and just squeezed hers.

"When I ran away at fifteen…I was very deadly when I wasn't at the cult. Some, like me, did well too, and they were accepted into the cult years before me. But I wasn't. 'Cause I was the Devil's Child, according to my father. They never let me join them, so…eventually I ran away."

Leah was crying quietly, wiping away her tears with her free hand continuously. But she didn't look fragile. I didn't get the sense that she was just trying to look strong either. I just squeezed her hand, and continued talking.

"I'd figured out at some point before I turned fifteen, that the things I was feeling during battle were supposed to be sexual. The lust, the other things. But," and I smiled a little there, "when I was nineteen, long after I'd run away and crossed the ocean to Canada, I met a kind girl who had sex with me. That's when I learned the difference."

I threw Leah a glance. She was quite absorbed in my words, not really crying anymore. Her natural eye was pretty red, but the tears had mostly stopped flowing.

"The battle madness might be a form of lust, yes. But really? Even the orgasms paled before the real thing." I laughed a little as tears formed. "You can't imagine how relieved I was to have that happen. It, like, cleansed everything. It wasn't the same thing, and the fake stuff wasn't anywhere close to it." I squeezed Leah's hand again and drew in a big breath before letting it out slowly.

"That was where it all changed for me. That's when I started becoming human."

 

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