This Overlord Doesn't Care About Anything

“Li De! You son of a *****, how dare you deceive I, this old woman……quickly open the chest or else I’ll beat you up!”

I sat on the chest and unhappily replied:

“Sorry, I was originally good-looking.”1

I turned to Heji and asked:

“This is just making trouble for me. I’m guessing you already knew about this? There’s no way you didn’t know about this since it’s not like she would eat, drink, and do her business inside the chest, yeah?”

Heji smiled in embarrassment. Then he bowed to me and honestly said:

“Actually, we knew about it a very long time ago. But I didn’t inform you a while ago because even though we are a division of the Yun Hai guard, we’re a division that belongs to sir Bai Huang, so whatever sir Bai Huang orders us to do is what we should do. Sir Bai Huang said to keep this a secret from you, so we naturally didn’t dare to defy her order.”

“It’s been hard for you.”

I sighed in sympathy, complaining:

“Isn’t this just making needless trouble! When other people send gifts, they typically choose gifts that the receiving person might need; how could Bai Feng send over such a money-losing thing.”

The fellow inside the chest hit the chest walls, loudly protesting:

“Let me out! Let me out! You little turtle grandson, who do you think you’re calling a money-losing thing!”

Just a moment ago, I was a son of a *****, now I’ve become a little turtle grandson; hasn’t my position in the family hierarchy dropped too quickly.

I continued sitting motionlessly on the chest as I spoke with Heji:

“In brief, how did you carry over this thing, how did you carry……”

Before the word “carry” even fell, Heji hastily supplemented:

“But, sir Bai Feng has told us! He said that he will be responsible for all expenses sir Bai Huang incurs. As a token of good faith, he’s placed a dozen or so of Yun Hai’s most precious jewelry into the chest in advance. They can be effortlessly sold for over ten thousand gold coins.”

I instantly changed my tune:

“How did you carry this over, how about carrying it over to my room.”

Heji was instantly dumbfounded. I clapped and told Aleya and the others with a smile:

“Never mind, never mind, I’ll lead the way, you follow.”

Heji helped me move the chest into my room. I adjusted my smiley face, then re-opened the chest. Little Huang was fuming as she sat there in the chest, hugging her knees. Shooting a glance at me, she instantly turned her face and resentfully said with the tone of an irate young married woman:

“What? Don’t you dislike me for being a ‘money-losing thing’?”

I hastily placated her with a smiling expression:

“How could that be. With your arrival, my entire city is graced by the light of your very presence. Little Huang, when we went our separate ways last time, I was yearning for you day and night. Whenever the thought of being unable to meet you again appeared in my mind, I would burst out in tears. I felt like my heart……was breaking into pieces.”

I leaned over to the tea table, moistened my fingers with the tea inside the teacup and rapidly smeared it on my eyes.

However, I didn’t expect that my movements weren’t quick enough. It was while I was smearing my eyes that she had turned her head around and witnessed this scene.

She fiercely patted the chest cover and censured:

“Then you still want to close me in the chest and send me off!”

I spoke righteously:

“It wasn’t to send you off. It was because your surprise arrival was too dazzling and caused me unable to respond for a little while, so I closed the chest to recuperate a little. Otherwise, you would turn me into a blind person in a flash. I mean, look at yourself in the mirror, just look at how endlessly radiant you are!”

Bai Huang stopped holding her taut face and laughed out loud. But in an instant, she immediately went back into her stiff-as-a-board face, hugged her legs, hid away her neck, and snapped:

“In any case you don’t welcome me! Fine! Close the chest! Send me back!”

Not only did she resemble an irate young married woman, she also resembled a young married woman who wanted to return to her parental home.

I was fully aware of the truth that a ‘husband’ could be as flexible as required, so I continued to coax her:

“Don’t welcome you? How could that be, I can’t wait for you to live in this humble abode of mine. You can live here for however long you want.”

Bai Huang raised an eyebrow:

“Really?”

I pointed to the sky and pledged:

“Really.”

Bai Huang put a hand on the edge of the chest and climbed out in a flash, saying with a smile:

“Great!”

I faintly smiled as I nodded and then went to take a look inside the chest——

Empty!

I stared blankly for two seconds, then turned to Bai Huang:

“Je-jewelry?”

Bai Huang rolled up her sleeves and showed off to me. On her left arm, she wore 4 bracelets while on her right arm, she wore 3 string chain bracelets. Upon closer inspection, she had three hair pins inserted into her hair, two necklaces worn on her neck, and a pair of earrings. Bai Huang complacently remarked:

“My brother said that these are my living expenses, so it’s only natural that it’s mine. It’s got nothing to do with you, Li De. Hurry up and go heat up some water, I haven’t had a proper bath the entire journey, I feel myself quickly becoming moldy! Also, prepare a table of good food for me and the best alcohol you have……”

I looked at her in stupefaction.

Bai Huang stroked the colorfully vibrant jewelry she was decked in while looking at each piece with adoration in her eyes. No matter how I looked at it, I couldn’t imagine her obediently handing the jewelry over.

I flicked my wrist, saying to Bai Huang:

“Little Huang, it’s not a problem for you to stay here. But recently, West-Resisting City hasn’t been very peaceful or secure, with thieves, robbers, and whatnot often wandering the streets. Come, hand over the jewelry to me, I’ll help you safekeep them. I’ll return them to you once you grow up.”

Appearing like a mother confiscating her child’s red packet.

Bai Huang firmly shook her head:

“No way.”

I let out a sigh, flicked my wrist again, then slowly walked over to her:

“See, I’ve already warned you but you didn’t listen, now the robber is here……”

“Turns out you’re the robber!!”

Without forgetting to spit out a tsukkomi, Bai Huang hurriedly moved backwards, turning around with the thought of running out of the room. Luckily, with my sharp eyes and quick hands, I caught her from behind with a hug. I lifted Bai Huang up by the waist as she struggled with all four of her limbs, though it was of no use. She resembled a crab that had been flipped on its shell trying to flip back over, but unable to do so before the ocean spray arrived. I lifted her slowly back towards the pitch-black chest and grinned evilly as I gave her two choices:

“Come on, Little Huang. Choose. Either get stuffed back in and sent back to Yun Hai or hand over the money to live over here……”

Bai Huang struggle-cried for a while before finally making up her mind. Without waiting for me to react, she used both her hands to push on my arm and shouted out loudly:

“Save me——! R*pe——!!”

1. The joke is lost in translation. The sentence for “or else I’ll beat you up” is “不然我要你好看” which could also literally mean “or else I’ll make you good-looking”.