This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

Classes were boring most days. Sparring happened twice a week on Monday and Friday, Ninjutsu Class was a bore, Genjutsu class just didn't work on her apparently, a fair bit of Kunoichi classes weren't useful for her because she was a Jinchuriki, physical exercise in the academy was a tad bit of a joke for her now at least as a clone, and of course core teachings of mathematics, science, etc... Well, if she couldn't pass those with flying colors she deserves to be hit with a brick of Ramen.

Mhm... Ramen... 'No, bad girl! Bad girl! Down! No Ramen thinking!' Taking a deep breath, Naruko ignored the weird look from her deskmate and wiped the drool that had escaped from her. 'Alright, where was I? Aah, right.' Well, there were Shurikenjutsu classes - which she was, 'Well, it's not THAT bad right?' she would just ignore anyone who said she had no talent in that area. Then of course it came down to the two classes she actually thought were somewhat useful for her. History & Tactics. Tactics, because no matter how much she bragged, in the end, she was the mix of an 8-year-old child and a later 20s weirdo hobbyist spelunker, and History to see the changes in the world.

Which. Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk her sideways, and call her Kaguya's mom, because what the fuck? She had already noted Hashirama was a woman, because y'know, Asura was probably one. She didn't even -want- to know how Tsunade exists, because she does. But no, that isn't what freaked her the fuck out. The Sannin didn't gain their names from facing Hanzo, no they fought him and beat him here. 'More than likely in this Universe they developed their unique forms of power. Jiraiya Sage Mode, Tsunade her Seal, and Orochimaru whatever he cooked up.' No, that wasn't what shocked her. What shocked her, was how they gained the name of the Sannin. By Nagato Uzumaki Leader of the Rain Village crushing them like fucking dogs. He let them go because they were weak. She sighed. 'Have mercy on my soul. I have to deal with Nagato, not Pain.' 

Apparently, Nagato's old teacher and teammates impressed him enough, that he decided to 'dub them' the Legendary Sannin. Nagato, of course, if he was the same age and her math is correct, was like fucking 18 when he crushed them into the dirt. Stomped. Brutalized. Mauled. 'This is so fucked up.' If she had to face a Nagato at the same strength as the Edo Tensei version her male counterpart fought - fine. But that wasn't it. Nagato wasn't crippled. That means for nearly his entire life, his Physical Energies wouldn't be crippled. That means his main body can train. 'I'm soooo fucked. What, I'll need KCM 2? Fuck, if he gets to the same level as Dad and Hashirama, I might even need KCM2 + Sage Mode. Why hasn't he taken over the world yet, he should be about 28 right now?' 

She didn't have the answers -again- but even if she didn't, she probably couldn't comprehend his viewpoint. 'Telling Itachi about Yagura was a mistake in hindsight then more than likely. Not my fault I didn't review my memories properly, nor did I crack open a history textbook.' Ignoring what was blatantly indeed her fault, she'd think some more about the changes. 'Bijuu are called Bijuu, not 'Chakra Monsters' and certainly not Demons. Albeit, I've definitely heard some whispers calling me a Demon, so, could just be the history book. But what's interesting is that they DO mention them in the history books. Probably some incident made them too public?' At least the book didn't just outright mention Jinchuriki.

'Then, of course, there's the more subtle things. In the book about prominent Shinobi, because why the fuck would you not teach your Shinobi about other village's Shinobi, Deidara and Sasori are still listed as loyal Shinobi. Albeit, Deidara could have just not defected yet or news hasn't reached, but Sasori is certainly interesting. No mention of Kisame anywhere, so he's probably a rogue that Kiri is trying their best to cover up still. Obito's influence maybe.'

The bell rang mid-internal monologue, and she snapped out of it. "Huh? Oh, over already?" She blinked rapidly noticing that her seatmate had already left. Someone she didn't actually remember the name of - considering the fact that the semester was new, and this was a mixed class. 'Well then. Rude!' Getting her stuff, she'd wander out of the classroom and into the courtyard, after all, it was lunchtime. 'Foodddddddddd! Heh! I sneaked this by you Main-Me, hah! You can't abuse your clones.'

-Main Body-

"Did you know that asshole stole my lunch?!?" the ANBU in front of her awkwardly shifted - a mask she didn't recognize, and based on chakra levels was *very* new.

"Yes?" His voice - because it was a him, was a bit on the squeaker side, definitely still a teen.

"Alright, you know what that means?"

"No?"

"Gimme yours." The ANBU froze in shock, not sure of what to say. "I'm who you're supposed to protect right? How am I safe if I'm starving?"

Needless to say, she conned the poor lad out of his homemade lunch. D'aww, it even had a heartfelt little letter from his mom! How cute! She of course, as the gracious person she was, read it out loud.

Welcome to ANBU Donkey. Home of those eternally tortured by Naruko Uzumaki.

-Water Jutsu Clone-

Life was suffering. To be made over and over again. All for the sake of an uncaring master. She. Wanted. Too. Die. In about 20 minutes, of course, she couldn't ruin the training routine that would be completely unacceptable. 'Now let's see here, aah. Main me really should be the one doing these Jutsu as a mere tiny insignificant clone, I really can't supply the chakra necessary for them. Mhm... oh well, that would drastically delay physical training and Shunshin training if we did that.' 

Shaking it off she flipped through handseals. Inu. Tori. Saru. Uma. Mi. Oshi. "Water Style: Spiralling Beam!" Three spiraling rods of water rose up from the lake around her, before combining into a spiraling mass of doom, before SLAMMING into a tree! 'Hey! It dented it that time. It's almost useful to fight a toddler!' her newest Jutsu was taking some time, but that was okay.

'I'm only gonna be learning a couple more anyways. 6 D-Rank and 4 C-Rank are more than enough for now. Should work on truly mastering them soon. Oh well, back to trai-' 

POP!

-Main body, Apartment, that Night-

Rubbing her head a little bit as the usual headache began to come and go ebbing and flowing as the minuscule amount of Kyuubi chakra that leaked through her healed her, and then the pain came back, she'd sit down on the ground. Luckily, it seemed like this ANBU Squad wasn't quite so invasive, they all simply sat at her table and didn't snoop around. 'A bit of a boring bunch this squad.'

Sitting down on the ground in a meditative pose, she'd breathe innnnn and out, in and out. Slowly sinking deeper and de- 'Nope not that deep, not yet K-chan!' Just on the border of reaching into the seal, but not quite there. '-' no thoughts inside of her head, she ever so slowly opened up the Mind's Eye of Kagura. Spreading it out - to the room, to the apartment building, to the street, and then more, and more. Time passed before she slowly brought back the Mind's Eye of Kagura onto herself.

"Oh Kami damn it K-chan!" Drip... Drip... Drip... The drip of a leaky faucet in the dark and dank hallway, the smell of mold, and an eerie light that led deeper into the hallway. Multiple tubes filled with some flowing glowing liquid ran up down, and around the hallway she found herself in. Her feet tickled with some kind of viscous water-like fluid. 'Well, I guess we're meeting sooner than I wanted K-chan.'

She stepped towards the light.