This Is Where I Want To Be

31. Preparing for France

Juliet

After the longest drive, Louis and I finally turned into our street. So much for going off-grid and doing things on my own, even if it was only two days—it changed my whole life. He drove past our house and parked in his garage, “Come in for a bit. Let’s see if the guy’s still alive. You have to eat so you can hold properly till we’re settled in France. We should last for at least a week and a half.” I was sucking on my bottom lip, spacing out into nothing. “Juliet…”

“Hmm?”

“You that tired.”

I nodded, got out, stumbled inside, and went to Louis’s room, the room I had cleared up and arranged. Packed out all his clothes and put pictures on his dresser; I walked past all that, opened his duvet, got in, and closed my eyes. “Juliet, you’re in my bed… I can’t promise I won’t take advantage of you.”

I chuckled, “As long as I’m thinking of you, go ahead. I might not be able to do anything.”

“You’re not thinking of anything right now.”

I chuckled again, “Get in with me and sleep. Aren’t you tired?” Louis closed the curtains as the sun was already up, shining into the room. My eyes fluttered open, wanting to watch Louis while he took off his jeans and shirt and got in behind me. I was gone before he put his arm around me.

I woke up, and the sun still shone through the bottom of the curtains. I figured we slept for a few hours; Louis snored beside me, “So much for taking advantage.”

I got up, desperate for the loo. Not having a phone sucked. Louis destroyed his phone… for me… stupid Louis. We would have to go shopping. How much money had Louis gathered in Europe in the last two hundred years? There was still so much I didn’t know about him. Flushing, I went to the next room, finding the door locked. I searched the hall cabinet and found the key. The guy tied up on the floor seemed like an ex-army something, with one leg missing, and his face was all burned. I hated killing people like that; something felt off about it, but we would have to. I felt sorry for the guy who had been there for a whole day and a half, all bound up; he reeked from the mess in his pants. I covered my mouth and pinched my nose; it was just all sorts of wrong. Not clever, Louis. Not nice. Can people not die with dignity around you? I wished we could tap people and steal blood from the hospital, but we couldn’t. At least we should let them die with a lot of pain meds and drug them… for Charlene, or she might never accept me.

“How could I have known your ex-lover was going to kidnap me and you were going away for two nights on your own.” He said behind me, putting his arms around me.

I scoffed, “One night. You can hardly call that a gap year backpacking Europe.” I ran my fingers through his hair. He rested his chin on my shoulder.

“I won’t take ex-pats again. I have a boatload of money you can spend as much as you like, and we need to get dressed to buy phones. I will clean this up. Go home, talk to your mom and dad, and come and finish when he is presentable. I don’t want to worry about you again for some time.”

“I’m not even your wife, and you treat me like a nuisance already… I want to start fending for myself… What if something happens again?” I turned towards him.

He paused, thinking, hands on my waist, looking down into my eyes, “Fine, I will teach you everything from A-Z when we’re in France. But we’ll talk about that smart mouth of yours later… I’m not Stupid… Now, I can’t stand this smell anymore.”

I left to go next door and rang the bell twice at my own house. My dad came towards the door, “Coming, hold on.” I rang twice more just for effect, “For heaven’s sake, who would ring like that,” he pulled the door open in a huff.

“Juliet!” I was strangely happy to see him. My mother came running from their room and plucked me out of my dad’s grip, squeezing me.

“How could you do that… No, never mind, stupid thing to say. Let’s not talk about anything for at least a month. Deal?” I nodded. “We heard about Marcus… We would’ve come, but Nicholas assured us there were enough people to help.”

“Yes, there was a small army. You wouldn’t have made it anyway.”

“We heard Chris came to save you—again… When are we going to meet him?” All I could think about was him not loving me, telling Marcus he would never touch me. I wanted to love what was good for me but couldn’t get over Chris. I never would. My parents were never going to meet him.

I held back tears, “Oh, honey. I won’t talk about Chris again or Marcus or anything… Let’s get you cleaned up. I have to check your wounds.”

I showered. Mom cleaned my wounds and wrapped them for our shopping trip. I couldn't do anything about the blue mark on my face where my face hit the ground; it had already turned dark, and no amount of makeup would cover it. I checked in next door and relieved the guy of suffering, but I let Louis eat first that time; he needed it more than me.

Louis took me shopping like it was just a typical day. My dad gave me his card, not wanting to completely bankrupt Louis. I wasn’t a big spender, even though I liked nice things. There were just things that were more important than hanging around the mall. However, it was different walking around with Louis in his slim-fit white shirt, black jeans, and stylish shoes; his hair was styled back, leaving his blue eyes open and shining brightly—his stubble groomed and shaven around his features. There was not a woman whose head did not turn with him around.

I was not the dressing-up type for a day at the mall, I could have if I wanted to, but not that day; I was sore, tired, and emotionally in tatters. So, when I got in the car, I wore my light blue jeans and a cream long-sleeved jersey. He smiled at me when I compared the two of us. He didn’t care, “You look beautiful. You are beautiful.”

He opened the cubby, removed a menthol packet, and pushed the car lighter, “Oh, my soul, I could get used to this.” He lit the cigarette, took a drag, and handed it to me as I put my bag on the floor at my feet.

“Desperate for a fag?” he teased.

I shrugged, “What do you want me to think… Wish for a smoke? Need to go buy a cancer stick.”

He got a twinkle in his eye, “I was pulling your leg.”

“Oh…” I laughed, peeking at him as he pulled the car out of the garage.

Louis cleaned up well. He didn’t go anywhere, not dressed his best. I thought about him kissing me, but I realized he would know as soon as I did. I stopped what I was doing, my head snapping away from him, peering out the window. We both chuckled. That was the third time I blushed bright red in front of Louis. He put his hand on my neck and rubbed it, massaging it with his thumb, “You not going to laugh at me again? I am such a child, remember.”

He tugged on my sleeve. I turned to him. He leaned in and kissed me—properly. I got lost for a moment, “I don’t think I will ever laugh at you again… You’re my hero… And I have to treat you with respect.”

I snorted, “Yeah? We will see how long that lasts.”

“Okay, I’ll try. It’s not like I’ve ever been in a long-term relationship,” Louis kissed me again and drove us towards the mall.

We spent the next two days like that. It was all I wanted; someone who loved me—unconditionally, no strings attached. We didn’t speak about anything serious: I didn’t plague Louis with questions about his past or how he got through two hundred years without anyone. Louis didn’t even ask me one question about Marcus, and strangely, my mind was tuned out to anything else. If something made my thoughts jump to Chris and him touching me, Louis would kiss me, really kiss me, and I melted into him. Louis could make me think of nothing else and took away all my frustration. He didn’t care because he knew I loved him. I decided to do everything I wanted with Louis, love the one you’re with—or something like that.

Wednesday morning, when I was packing, Louis came to my room window and stood outside. I didn’t know and was missing Chris, worrying about him. It would be only for a minute every now and again. Nevertheless, I sometimes felt guilty and forced myself to focus on Louis. I was trying to control my thoughts, “Juliet, you’re worrying too much. I’ve been rather desensitized to your thoughts day in day out for the last two months… You, sleeping with Chris… No, everything that happened that night… No! No one would’ve been able to handle that kind of build-up. So, just let it go. If you think about Chris, think about him. You will make yourself sick; it will get better.”

“Just come in,” I pulled the curtain back, and there was the biggest bush of red roses all clumped up together. Thirty of them bounded with a white ribbon.

“It will also help if you didn’t listen to this depressing Take It Easy DJ mix of yours,” Louis climbed into the room, pushed the roses into my hands, and walked over to my phone.

“No one has ever given me flowers before.”

“Really? Not even Jerry or Marcus,” I tried to smile a sad, weak smile. The tears I couldn’t stop anymore dropped uncontrollably. Louis pulled me into his arms. I didn’t know I had tears for Jerry—but he was dead. One of my exes, who I had loved, was killed. Chris killed him while Jerry was slashing me open. He hated me that much… Jerry didn’t love me at all. I had to say goodbye to Chris—all over! I didn’t know when I would see him again or if I ever would. I had actually seen Marcus after four years, and he still loved me. I cried it out until nothing was left. Louis had put us on the bed and was lying behind me when the door opened.

“Oh, sorry,” I heard my mom.

“Cindy! Come in, don’t worry. She fell asleep,” I heard them, but I wasn’t going to open my eyes... Louis got up, and I nuzzled my cushion.

***

Louis

“We will have to wake her up if she is going to finish packing,” Cindy whispered, and I sighed, closing the door behind me.

“I also have to go finish up. Give her another thirty minutes.”

Cindy squeezed my arm, “Thank you, Louis… For everything.”

I kissed her cheek and patted her shoulder, “We’re family now… I’m sorry for being so short with you the other day… This is all new for me—having people in my life.”

She nodded, “You were wrong about her. She is getting on that plane with you… Are you sure, Louis?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything,” I left to go close up the house I had just moved into.

Juliet… Take-off

Louis and I were making our way through the airport when I heard, “Juliet!”

I turned around, Charlene was running toward us and flung her arms around me. I smiled, hugging her. I let my one arm drop to rub over the little bump forming in her midsection, “Hey little one… Charlene… I’m so happy you guys came. I was worried after everything I showed you.” I waved excitedly at Carl, who was having trouble with the number of bags Charlene thought necessary. At least I wasn’t the only creature there; we had a lot to talk about.

“I was freaked out and worried leaving you with Chris. How do you feel and your wounds?” I put my arm into hers, and Louis made his way to Carl, helping with things. I was covered from head to toe with stretch pants, slacks, a polo shirt, and a jacket; my scars were well hidden for the two-day trip.

“I’m okay… but so much happened over the weekend… Anyway… As long as we’re still friends, everything will be okay.”

We both stared at the guys as they called us for passport checks. Slowly, we walked toward the counter, “How is Louis so okay with everything? He does know about you and Chris?”

“Honestly, I don’t know how he is okay with it… but yeah, he knows everything.” We both watched him; Louis knew, and his eyes fixed on me for a moment. It made me melt when he looked at me like that.

“You got it bad,” Charlene pumped me in my side.

“You have no idea,” never looking away from the guy looking at me.

We boarded the plane and took our seats to make our way to France. My parents would come later; they were selling everything, making sure there were no loose threads, keeping an eye on Chris, and giving feedback about how they handled his first full moon. The thing was that Chris didn’t think our love was written on the stars... Chris hadn’t turned his heart towards me and I understood he had too much going on. If he really wanted to find out what happened, he would. I just wasn’t going to sit around and wait for him. I had less than two years left, my own life to consider and it didn’t seem that Louis was going anywhere, no matter what.