Thief of Time

After playing with the meeplings for a while, the Black God reluctantly got them to leave, citing that it was unhealthy for mortals to stay too long in a god’s Divine Kingdom.

“Meep…”

Sceptre seemed a bit sad, but that was the extent of it.

“Well, you guys should come back here with the rest of the Seekers when there’s time,” the Black God replied. “Make sure to bring Nero too. From what I can tell, he might have a kid soon.”

“Eh.”

“Eh?”

“No, I wasn’t spying on him,” the Black God replied. “However, people engaged in acts of love have similar emotional patterns, and as someone who is my representative in the mortal realm, these patterns have emerged very, very regularly. If we’re lucky, we might have a kid on our hands.”

“Ooh.” Lily rubbed her hands.

“Huhu. Anyhow, you two should return. And don’t forget about that teaparty business with Lesser Half and the Blue Moon,” the Black God added. “You can use my name for it, and the faster you two get it done, the better.”

“Alright.” Claud paused. “What’s the situation now? Is it still a ceasefire out there? Or are both parties starting to take potshots at each other again?”

“I give it one more month before all of us get tired of the peace and give up on looking for the Thief of Time,” the Black God replied, a grin on his face. “Not all of us, I suppose, but most of us. I’m not part of this cycle, after all.”

The smile vanished. “Good things aside, I must warn you two. While Schizel and I have seen much success in preventing invaders from beyond, we cannot block everything. In fact, because this world was on the verge of collapse to begin with, our efforts are eventually going to give way.”

“So we’re screwed.”

“In a sense. But let that not trouble you. The affairs of gods are never placed on mortals.” The Black God pushed open a door. “So it was then, and so it is now. Farewell, my little friends. Do come back at a better time, and with more people.”

“Thank you for your hospitality,” Lily replied. “C’mere, Claud. Up you go.”

“Thank you, O Black God.”

“Good luck. I wish you all the best in dealing with these mysteries, because I cannot deal with them any further,” the Black God replied. “And take this. It contains a single, all-out attack from me.”

He tossed a black skillstick over. “It will probably deal with most threats in this world.”

Claud caught it in silence. The skillstick seemed to warp reality around it on a very small scale; rather than being an imprint of mana, it actually was a container of divine power…

“Thank you.”

“Don’t worry. It’s just divine power. I won’t be able to use it to spy on you two or to track you down,” the Black God replied. “All it does is to unleash a beam of pure power at any target, that’s all.”

“How useful.”

“You’ll end up penetrating a whole bunch of buildings, so be careful with its use. I’d say it’s a good last resort. If you end up not using it, do consider handing it to your offspring in the distant future. It’s a good family treasure too.” The Black God chuckled. “Now, off you go. My poor bishop is probably wondering what’s going on up here.”

With a pat of his back, the world changed, and Claud found himself in the same great, grey chamber where the two of them had left the bishop behind.

“We’re back,” Lily called out, and the little meeplings jumped into her clothes. At the same time, the bishop, who had been reading a book, looked up in surprise, before nodding.

“It’s been a whole week. Usually, an audience lasts a lot shorter.” The bishop chuckled.

“I hope you enjoyed the drink,” Claud replied, looking at the bottle that sat on the ground.

“Sure did. It was nice not needing to think for a day or two, although this is really strong. Are you sure the Holy Son chugs this down by the bottle every day?” the bishop asked.

“Yeap.”

“I see.” The bishop paused. “Now then, let’s go down. While travelling here is tough, there’s no need to make the journey back so ridiculous, so I hope you two like slides.”

“Like what?” Lily asked.

“Slides,” the bishop replied. “Come. Let me demonstrate.”

The middle-aged fellow brought them to a chute, which was just one long, winding passage where one could just sit inside and slide down to the bottom.

“I’ll go down first, but don’t keep me waiting!” The bishop rubbed his hands, excited.

“Uh…”

“Oh, you don’t know why I’m this excited?” the bishop asked. “Pfft. It’s awesome. You’ll get hooked to this once you hit the bottom, you know. It’s rare for me to go all the way up here, and frankly speaking, this is why I’m more than happy to bring you here.”

He paused. “And of course, because I’m a good bishop. Now, like I said, don’t keep me waiting.”

With a childlike whoop, he entered the chute and made funny noises all the way down.

“Huh.” Claud stared at the chute. “It’s big enough for the two of us, so let’s go down together…or do you want to go at it alone?”

“Together, please. This thing is a bit scary.”

The interior of the slide was not made from glass, but Claud couldn’t help but feel a little scared as he slid down with Lily anyway. The silent ride, which was just them zipping up their mouths because they were scared for one reason or another, simply amplified the rattles as their bodies hurtled down the slide, spiralling towards the ground over and over.

Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity, the two of them slid out onto a mattress, and came to a stop.

“How was it?” the bishop asked.

“Very scary,” Lily replied. “It felt like I was going to fly out of that slide at any moment, and it also didn’t help that the whole thing was shaking every three seconds!”

“Exactly! It’s less scary to just fly down, if I had to be honest!” Claud added. “Also, I’m a bit frail, so bumping against the walls of the slide didn’t feel nice at all. Yikes.”

“Oh.” The bishop made a face. “Well, you can go for another slide, if you don’t think it’s fun. Also, try doing it one by one. It’s a lot more tranquil and less trauma-inducing that way.”

“My husband’s condition isn’t that good right now, so we’ll have to pass on that,” Lily hurriedly replied.

The bishop looked at Claud. “What happened to him?”

“Authority and stuff, when we were talking to the Black God,” Lily replied on Claud’s behalf. “He’s really frail right now, so we’ll need to bunk in some inn for a while until he feels better.”

“Alright. Hmm. Why not at my guesthouse?” the bishop asked. “It’s a house that Nero…the Holy Son used to live in until he grew up. I have some nice souvenirs of his there. Maybe you can bring some back to him?”

“Growing up, eh?” Claud got up slowly. “Why not?”

He felt a bit bad at having Lily help him around, but there wasn’t much of a choice. Lily patted him down a moment later or some reason, but he wasn’t going complain much.

“Excellent.” The bishop rubbed his hands. “Come on, follow me.”

Claud looked around as they left, and then realised that, like the Stairway to the Skies, the slide that allowed them to rapidly descend was also invisible. Which made sense, since a curving slide from the five grand skies was definitely visible otherwise.

“How did the Stairway and the slide come into existence?” Claud asked. “Sure, the Stairway was probably built by the gods, but the slide? It’s hard to believe it, if I have to be very frank. I can’t see them—”

He fell silent as a whole host of memories, which included the gods baking, joking with each other and other decidedly mortal activities flooded his head, and Claud opened his eyes wide.

“I can totally see them doing that now!”

“Right? I was going to correct you, but…”

He and Lily locked gazes, and then looked up at the skies, where an apparently exciting and nerve-wrecking slide was built.

“I’m glad you two figured it out,” began the bishop, “but I can guess that you two are thinking about some disrespectful things right now…”

Claud forced out an awkward laugh. “Of course not. The Coloured Gods share origins with us, so they can be rather human in behaviour as well.”

The bishop nodded. “Indeed. They are a guiding light, but above all, they understand humans the best.”

“Yeap. And they still retain some of their habits,” Lily added.

“Just what did you two do up there to say all these things?” the bishop wondered. “Well, now I’m jealous.”

“Maybe you can drop by or something,” Claud replied.

“Maybe.” The bishop shook his head. “Well, I’ll get you guys into the house first. I can see that you two need to rest.”

“Thanks.”

“My pleasure.”