There is no happy ending

*****

Since the departure of Morning’s successor, the social scene in Palborne has been less than favorable.

Of course, one could argue that a mere man had slipped through the cracks, but Moening’s successor was not a man to be described as ‘a mere man’.

The Marquess of Moening declared a break with the Duke of Winston.

The men of the Marquess of Moening were all iron-blooded men with northern hearts, and they would never go back on their word. This time, they had good reason.

They might be building up their power, but that didn’t mean they were insensitive to what other factions were doing. It was basic. Morning was angry and never let on that anger, so it was natural that the atmosphere would freeze.

It’s easier to be deceived when one side is dominant. Moening’s anger was directed at Winston. It had become a battle of the Titans.

In the end, it was the other nobles who had to take notice. The high nobility of Zagoro didn’t care how many people were hurt in their clashes.

The falling out between Moening and Winston came not long after the heir’s departure. Mowing was not immune to the blow. The politically close-knit north and east, west and south, and west and south tended to split into subtle noble factions.

The central aristocracy, more familiar with the politics of the center than the provincial estates, balanced between the two, but no one was sure how long their balance would last. If Moening demanded answers, they were forced to give them.

Unfortunately or fortunately, so far, Moening’s losses have been less. Winston’s owner watched the situation unfold. For some reason, Bliss seemed to think it was a good idea.

He didn’t think about social and political matters. Instead, he was preoccupied with other things.

For the first week, Bliss thought about everything that had happened since the beginning of the social season: what he hadn’t known, what had been revealed, and what he had done.

Then she realized that the rumors were bigger than she had thought. She’d thought there was no place for rumors to go, but they were relentless as if someone had dug them up.

‘Did you make eyes with some chick, and now you’re acting like this towards me?

Just as he was beginning to think about such things, Bliss’s ritualized thoughts turned to Bianca.

Bianca asked questions on the terrace. Bianca is standing in my parlor, staring at me like a locksmith. Bianca walked down the corridor. Bianca’s face as she looked back. The ring was left on the empty floor after she left.

Recalling these things left him with a faint feeling of regret. I should have answered Bianca’s question back then.

But regret was regret because it was always too late. Very few people can go back. No matter how much glamour Bliss’s life is built on, she can’t hold on to the time that has passed.

And even if she could, it wasn’t just a matter of her will. It was a matter of Bliss and Bianca’s relationship. Bliss knew this all too well, which is why she’d curtailed her actions.

Bliss’s relationship with Bianca ended because he did something stupid. There was no other way to put it than that: he hadn’t seen the end coming, and that made it all the more foolish, but Bliss wasn’t that stupid.

The Marquis of Moening was furious at Bianca’s hurt, and Bliss, as the Duke of Winston, was right to take his anger until it was relieved. That was the neatest thing.

Bliss read the stack of papers announcing my losses, then turned them over and placed them on his desk. A faint headache came over him, not the least of which was the one that had hit him in the last hour.

But it wasn’t the losses that were making Bliss’ head hurt. There were other things that got on his nerves. Like the way Bianca’s eyes had glazed over…… that day in the corridor, and the redness on the tip of her nose.

‘Are you …… crying?’

He had never thought about Bianca’s tears before.

To think of them with her was akin to imagining the floor with Winston’s name. Something that could never happen.

But Bliss had seen it all, and she hadn’t forgotten it, that trembling shoulder and that broken expression stuck in the back of her mind.

Bliss knew how she would handle this. It would be a relief. When it was all sorted out, he would be able to see Bianca’s face once more.

And then…… he’d be able to go back to the way things were.

It was good to think of that. The crown didn’t like nobles banding together, but it didn’t like nobles fighting each other, either.

Nor did they want the kingdom to be bogged down with the other problems that come with a feud between House Morning and House Winston. It wouldn’t last long.

The thought of it made him relax a little. Bliss rubbed her brow. He picked up the papers he’d turned over and looked at them again.

Ding.

He’d been looking at the papers for a while when there was a light knock on the door. Bliss didn’t answer, but the doorknob turned.

Silver threadlike hair swayed as Odette stepped into the study, a light shawl wrapped over her see-through summer nightgown.

‘Bliss, when did you wake up?’

‘Not long ago.’

Bliss’s face, hardened by work and tension, softened. Bliss put down the papers she was holding and rose from her chair. He looked at Odette, and his eyes were filled with kindness. Odette casually walked over and hugged Bliss.

For the first week, Bliss thought about the events and Bianca’s feelings, but she didn’t let go of her relationship with Odette. Bliss tried everything he could to ease Odette’s grief.

‘……for the time being, I don’t have the confidence to look at your face for a while.

‘If you say so, I’ll wait.

‘If you say I won’t see you for a long time.

‘I’ll accept that. But…… but you know that, Odette.’

Her face and voice were so desperate that Odette forgot her anxiety for a moment. It was no wonder that Odette was determined to ‘forget’ what had happened.

After the first week, Bliss had consciously blocked out the thoughts of Bianca that had been creeping in. It felt like Odette was going to leave. Bliss wasn’t ready to let go of Odette yet.

Therefore, Bliss decided that what she needed to do was not to dwell on the past. It was important to focus on the love in front of her and repair the relationship they loved.

Bliss believed that because I loved Odette, I had to be that desperate to get her. Even if I didn’t feel like it, I had to. That’s what love is. It was a courtesy to one’s love, and to the one who tried to gamble on it.

Bliss’s hand, wrapped around my lovely lover’s waist, still wore Bianca’s engagement ring. He hadn’t thought about it since it had slipped from his finger.

Still, it was love that mattered, something Bianca would laugh at if she saw it.

‘You seem very tired lately.’

Odette said, running her hand down Bliss’s face. It was smooth skin, but it had been spoilt in recent days. The skin was puffy under her fingertips, and it was disturbing to see how different it had become in the last few days. A bitter taste tingled on the tip of Odette’s tongue.

No matter what had happened, Odette had never been able to fully reconcile her love for Bliss. For, as Bliss had said, his feelings for her were not love.

Odette believed that Bliss’s love was not so different from hers, so she was once again swayed by Bliss’s words……. No one could be comforted by the sight of my lover’s broken skin. Bliss took my face in Odette’s hands and spoke.

‘I’ve been working a lot.’

‘Bliss, I want you to be healthy.’

‘I’ll try. I’m good at trying.’

It had been days since I’d said I’d try and not take care of myself. Of course, Bliss was much stronger and fitter than Odette, much stronger than…… most grown men, and a few days of hard work wouldn’t hurt her health.

But did that reassure me? No. It didn’t. I was worried, but it didn’t go away. What’s wrong with always hoping for the best?

Odette lifted her heel. She kissed Bliss briefly on the corner of the mouth, then shook her head.

‘You can’t try, you really can’t.’

Bliss rolled her eyes at that and smiled. Somehow, it didn’t sound like Odette was talking about health. The lack of darkness on Odette’s face told Bliss she was mistaken, but it made her heart flutter.

Bliss could not forget Bianca’s words. He could not forget Bianca’s weeping face. He hadn’t forgotten Bianca’s weeping face the more so because of that.

He couldn’t explain how he felt. Whenever I thought of her, I felt a tingling sensation, like someone who had forgotten something. Was it love for Bianca? It wasn’t love. Bliss had defined it as not love.

‘Putting me first.

‘…….’

‘That was our…… contract, Bliss Winston. And you don’t even seem willing to honor it now.’

In the deepest recesses of Bliss Winston’s drawer were the handkerchief and engagement ring Bianca had given her. They were more beautifully embroidered than any handkerchief Bliss had ever seen, and they had been in place for six years…….

Why he hadn’t thrown it away completely was hard to explain; it just didn’t seem right. Maybe it was because I was so used to having them by my side. Maybe I didn’t want to recognize it.

Bliss gave me a grave look at Odette’s words, then nodded.

‘Okay, I’ll do that then.’

Bliss buried her head in Odette’s shoulder, as if in a frenzy. Odette carefully stroked Bliss’s blond hair, as if petting a large dog.

‘Really?’

‘…… If you don’t believe me, I’ll write it..’

‘That won’t do you any good. You’ll have to walk the walk.’

Odette chuckled as she said that. Bliss laughed slowly after her. It was a peaceful sight indeed. It was as if nothing had happened and nothing was happening.

But Bliss hadn’t forgotten Bianca’s words. Odette hadn’t forgotten Bianca’s words either. She couldn’t forget the look on Bliss’s face when Bianca confessed her love.

Very occasionally, she thought that Bliss was hiding something from her. I had no proof, but it was a feeling, not as a person…… but as a ‘woman’. As Odette, I can only say that. Odette’s instincts were pretty good.

Things she was used to were beginning to feel strange. Lips against my skin with a laugh, body heat through my clothes, a heartbeat, a hand in mine……. So many things changed and became unfamiliar.

But Bliss didn’t even notice Odette’s unease. He might not have been a bad head, but he was an indifferent man when it came to human interaction.

Bianca would have laughed her head off if she’d seen him, who had said he didn’t want to see them harden because of him.

Love is what matters.

A Love that changes, as Bianca said, one day!