There is no Epic Loot here, Only Puns.

Delta had upset the system. The actual system. Not Nu or some version of Sis. This was the 'operating system' that Nu was a part of and was the admin over.

There were technical differences that she didn't quite understand. A sort of Id and Ego thing where Nu was the superior being in the mess.

The system was pinging constantly, each noise making it more shrill as it tried to calculate exactly what Delta had done with her 'winging it' strategy.

You have created Snake Is-

You have added the theme 'star'-

You have moved the core.

You have. You have. YOU HAVE.

"Woah there. Take a deep breath or right-click and hit refresh," she suggested. The box before her went blank.

"Let's just start from the top. Tackle the big things one at a time. We'll go through them together and Nu can handle the rest of the Dungeon's passive things for a while," Delta said as she rested on a cloud. She was just light enough to float on it, but not too dense to disturb the wispy thing.

You have made an Island Whale! You have lost an Island Whale.

Island Whale: A massive mammal that has craggy rock like skin on its back and the ability to swim despite the weight. Some cultures may worship such beings or even live on them. Their backs can cultivate very rare flowers and fruits. Some animals may even live on it. Cost 4000 Mana.

"Yeah, my Mana without you guys was going places. Not college, but places," Delta said with a slow nod at the sheer cost at the Island Whale.

Island Whale is still active and elsewhere. Anything it consumes will be transferred to the mana banks.

"I hope it's okay…" Delta muttered with a frown.

---

Brother threw a lump of diamond across the massive cavern.

"Seas, fetch!" he said and the massive whale laid in a giant pool of water, eyeing the shiny rock with disinterest.

With effort it lifted one large fin and sent the diamond washing ashore with a massive splash. Bro nodded expectantly.

"Play bored. Sleep. Ignore me. Now, we have fetch. Sis didn't think I should have pets after the whole monster thing but look at us go!" he said brightly.

On Seas back, fragments of Brother's monster templates sunk into the grassy soil like rocky seeds, glowing unseen.

---

You have created 12 islands. Rough spending, 10,000 Mana.

"I have a vision," Delta explained brightly.

You have created Coconut Isla-

Delta cleared her throat.

"It's a lion," she corrected and the system glitched visibly.

You have created 'Lion Island'!

Lion Island: An island requiring daring and confidence. Those that are faint of heart will find it hard to be on this island. View upgrades for Lion Island?

Delta was tempted but she needed to know something.

"How's my Mana and DP looking?" she asked and the system produced a screen.

Mana: 5000/5000

DP: 2000 (capped due to having only four floors)

"I can buy a new Island Whale!" Delta said with a happy hum. A thought occurred to her. The fifth floor required 500 DP, the sixth needing 600, and so on.

She could literally buy three more floors right now. That was a little scary. She wouldn't, she was not one to focus on just getting more things for the sake of it.

She had four perfectly good floors to meddle with and fix first.

For all the destruction the HeRo Units had caused, they had revealed more weak spots. Some things would never be perfect but Delta could do her best to make them better.

"Let's see Lion Island upgrades. I think I made my intentions for it pretty clear," Delta said as she floated along on the cloud.

Lion Island Upgrade:

Improve the intense aura the island gives off, making any cowards or nervous intruders struggle to get close but draw in the brave or foolish. 20 DP

Raise the island so intruders need to scale a cliff to reach the island. 40 DP.

Decorate the island with statues of lions in different states of relaxed to aggressive. Vines and wildlife have overgrown them, making the statues give off a vibe of lost civilization. 30 DP

Form a cave at the center of the island in the shape of an open lion's roar. Inside a ruby red orb can be found. This orb is proof one has conquered Lion Island. Orb currently does nothing. 50 DP.

Make a square tablet before the cave to warn people of the danger of taking the orb. Taking the orb will animate the lion statues on the island to chase whoever has the orb. Requires previous upgrades. 60 DP

Trial of the Lionheart and the Fire: If someone faces the lion head-on without fear, the lions will bow to them if they walk past them with the orb. 20 DP.

Into the Beast's belly: Taking the orb will collapse the cave and crush whoever is inside under a ton of rubble and rock. 3 DP.

"That last one is a little out of place," Delta pointed out.

'Suggestion by 'Nu.'

"Of course it was," Delta sighed.

She liked what she saw, but for now she just purchased the lion statues. She had an idea for the fourth floor, but there was no point rushing it all out at once. She would see the other islands and ensure they all matched her idea before she invested too heavily into any one part.

Delta didn't want to spend hours perfecting a hand only for the rest of the picture to be a stick man with no feet.

Delta didn't know why she was obsessed with art right now. Not at all.

…It wasn't a coconut, damn it!

She appeared on the majestically shaped Lion Island to see statues forming with thick green vines covering their white-stone manes and faces. Some statues were half-obscured by foliage or even sunk into the soil up to their faces. A few of the statues could even be spotted partially submerged in a small pond to one side of the island.

Some of the statues were restful, watchful even, while others were frozen mid-snarl at the viewer.

This was good.

"Awesome, what's the next island again? We'll go clockwise in this little tour," Delta suggested to the system who beeped.

You have created 'Spider Island'…?

The question mark was telling but Delta could see the confusion, after all, crabs were the spiders of the sea!

"Crab Island!" she yelled excitedly.

You have created… 'Crab Island.'

Crab Island: This island is home to a collection of tiny crabs and one single Noi Storm Crab. The island has a safe aura that makes people feel at ease. The island nurtures any growth to be had and is considered the only true 'safe' island from any tests. This can swiftly change if any insult is given or if a crab is harmed.

Upgrades:

Bob Shrine: All crabs pay tribute to Bob the Worm, converting some of their faith in the worm to mana. In turn, any item offered to the shrine will be returned with 'Bobian' features mixed in. 50 DP.

Nurture Crabs: These helpful crabs are a unique black and white color with curly maxillipeds that look like mustaches. They can provide, from somewhere unknown, coconut drinks and fruit for guests. 50 DP.

Woven Hammocks: These hammocks are formed between trees and improve relaxation for those who indulge in them. The loss of any loose coins or items are not the responsibility of Delta's Dungeon. 20 DP

Crab Orb: A seafoam green orb that is just laying about as the crabs play with it. It can easily be asked for. It has no purpose currently. 10 DP.

Wrath of the Sea Worm: If the island is under attack and enough crabs are harmed, Bob will be summoned to the fourth floor and temporarily evolve in response to the threat, changing the fourth floor's sea as one of the many 'gods' of this floor. 150 DP.

Pinch and Snip: Bob's two crab friends will join Bob if he is summoned, becoming two boulder sized crabs able to cut steel and poison people with bubbles. Requires "Wrath of the Sea Worm" 50 DP.

"Is it a cult if it actually has a god? Or if the god does protect its charges?" Delta asked slowly.

No answer found in the database. Would you like to query the higher powers?

"Nah, just thinking," she said quickly.

Island Theme: Decorate the many rock faces with depictions of Bob and crab culture. 10 DP.

Delta grabbed the last one and watched as the already peaceful looking island gained a sense of mystical energy as walls showed a great worm rising from a pool and crabs dancing around effigies to Bob. One part of the wall showed a crude ancient image depicting a fish becoming a mammal becoming a person then becoming a crab. Delta wasn't sure if it was either a clever commentary on evolution or a threat of a magical curse.

"Next island?" she prompted and the system seemed to need a moment to produce its next sentence.

Stickman-handholding Island?

Delta stared at the system for so long it began to try and shrink in on itself.

"…Twin Island," she said finally, sounding defeated.

The island itself was two long strips of land connected by natural ridges.

Twin island: This island can only be accessed with two people, one to each side. If someone lands on it by themselves, a mirror copy will form on the opposite island, mirroring all their movements.

Upgrades:

Playful chess: Half a chessboard will appear on each side of the island. Each person can't hear or talk to the other person, only see their gameplay. The winner gets a free pawn piece as a trophy. 10 DP.

The Artists: One person must draw half an image and the other must finish it on their own side of the island. If they match up, both players get a free paintbrush!

Yin-Yang: If someone has a mirror copy, it will occasionally mess up on purpose to annoy the intruder. 20 DP.

Twin Orb: Half of an orange sphere is hidden on each side of the island. Completing a random game will reward one side with a half while the other person must continue playing to find theirs. Once obtained they can be merged at one of the ridges. 20 DP.

Sore Loser: Failing too many times in a game with a mirror copy will make it aggressive and it will chase down an intruder to draw on their face. 30 DP.

Like Twins: if all the games are completed successfully, each person will get a mood ring which will show the other's emotions, allowing for a closer bond. 50 DP.

Island theme: Artwork, musical instruments and books will be spread across the island. However, if the guitar is on one side of the island, a guitar pick will be on the other side. Only the first half of a book is printed on one side and the ending on the other. Some paintings will have details only on one side. Statues with two-faces or mirrors with no reflection might also appear. 40 DP.

Delta was loving this as she grabbed the theme like the others. All around the island, different themes of hobbies arose as if the island couldn't decide on any single one and was too easily bored or needed a lot of stimulation.

A mirror appeared on one side but instead of showing one's reflection it showed the other island. A painting of two lovers, a man crooning up to a maiden in a tower, had been split so the man looked to be singing to a bewildered bird while on the other island, the painting showed the maiden fawning over a confused badger on the ground.

"Next island!" Delta declared with a grin.

You have created 'Cow Island'?

"Bull! You're basically correct!" Delta praised and the window box sagged hard.

Senior Nu… please free me from this torment.

---

Nu stared down at the intruder as it grew with some resistance to being converted by the Dungeon. The Dickish Flower seemed to be akin to a marigold but thinner. Instead of any flower's natural color, it was gunmetal gray with odd markings along its petals.

Primal System was pinging Nu for assistance at a constant pace but Nu had muted it after a while. It would adapt to Delta's nature or die.

That was the way of life here.

He would also mute Delta but the button for her became a mushroom icon that just made him hear a random saying of Delta's. He suspected Sis was enjoying this slow conversion.

Nu returned his attention to the flower bearing the faded sigil of Gamma. There was no connection between this discarded husk and the actual Gamma, but that wouldn't stop Nu. In fact, even a hollowed out shell would provide plenty of information to Nu about the character himself.

Like a fingerprint.

Nu now had a record.

The flower was a pseudo-contract. Not of the Dungeon but not repelled by it either. Likely it was due to how Gamma was like Delta. Ignorant of the rules and likely to ignore the few she did know.

The only one missing from any record in Nu's database was…

---

Beta was in hell.

Quite literally.

Everywhere she turned, ducky eyes stared at her. Everywhere she tried to escape, ducks waited for her.

Duck hell.

Still, she felt strange. Like a fog was lifting and questions filled her heart that she didn't dare give voice to yet due to their implications.

So many implications. Beta's hell.

Like ducks, there were more than she could count.

---

Delta had to give up and let the name stay as 'Cow Island.'

Cow Island: A shapely island that calls to the stubborn and willful. This island is annoying to traverse but those who would complain about it would not get far.

Upgrades:

The wall: a strangely out of place wall is on this island, looking like a brick wall. Fresh white paint is still moist on its surface. A seat is placed in front of it and the longer someone stares at the wall, the more cow-points they earn. 30 DP.

The Book: A dictionary is found on an out-of-place desk. The more someone recites each word and its meaning the more CP they earn. 10 DP.

The Boulder: A boulder on a slippery hill that has no purchase. Even at the top, the boulder yearns for the bottom. The more someone pushes the boulder up the hill, the more CP they earn. 40 DP.

The Booth: Trade in CP here. A dark bronze orb (The Bull Orb) can be purchased here for 1000 CP. Other prizes include a t-shirt ("I mooved boulders"), a bobblehead Delta (Raises Charisma by 1… if such a stat existed), and more exotic prizes.

Island theme: Motivation boulders will appear across the island. On each rock are inscribed inspirational quotations to make the intruders be more stubborn. Examples:

"You really think you can do this?"

"You're brave to do a Dungeon in such an outfit."

"I mean, it's okay to give up. Only I would know."

"THE DELTA BOBBLEHEAD IS LIMITED EDITION! Or is it?"

"Real life currency cannot be converted into CP. Attempting to do so is bad and you should feel bad too."

"These feel more like spite rocks," Delta said slowly. The system didn't blink as it changed its words to 'Motivational' Boulders.

"Quotation marks don't make it better," Delta said with a snort.

"I'll buy them if you actually mix in positive messages too," she bargained and the system seemed to accept it with a strange beep.

Your authority is highest. Permission is not needed.

Delta thought carefully about her next words. She didn't want to give another UI a mental break down into sentience beyond its comfort zone. Delta was far too good at that for her own good.

"Manners never hurt anyone," she decided and the system beeped in acknowledgement.

Next island is 'Genit-

Delta coughed, crossing her arms in x-motions.

"That is not what it is!" she protested.

It is shaped like a male-

"It's a ram!" she said with a wail.

By definition of its purpose, the statement is still-

"Sheep Island, we shall call it Sheep island," she said with a growing headache.

Sheep Island: A place where the land is flat, the edges are clear, and nothing is hidden or obfuscated. This island is 'what you see is what you get.'

Upgrades:

Pull the lever: A lever will appear on the ground. By pulling it up and down three times, a light on its side will turn green. 10 DP

Wrong Lever: By pulling the lever too many times, it will break and count as failed. 5 DP.

The Clock: A clock will count down ten minutes and when it hits zero, a button can be pushed (it is big and red on the side) to make a light on the other side turn green. 10 DP.

The Wait: pushing the button before the time is up will make the clock explode and count as a failure. 5 DP. requires The Clock

The Game: Every green light that is active on the island releases a lock on a cage in the middle of the island where a deep red orb (The Ram Orb) can be seen, just out of reach. There are three padlocks and simply completing two other tasks will unlock the third if they patiently complete them. Trying to yank the locks off will cause the cage to sink into the ocean. 50 DP

The Ram: Making all the lights on the island turn red or get destroyed summons the Rammer. Its horns are rounded to avoid goring people and are like ivory. Near the base of the horns, the Rammer has pulsing veins to show its impatient temper. 60 DP.

"I should send this goat to Wyin, it might chew off her crabby leaves," Delta muttered.

Island theme: Random coloured sheep wander the island. Each of them smells of a different scent. A rare golden sheep might appear. Resting one's head on its wool will heal all but the most dire of sickness. Occasionally a one time use golden fleece can be purchased on Cow Island for 4000 CP. 30 DP

Upgrade free bonus: A rare sheep with bi-coloured eyes might appear. It seems to do nothing but it 'knows' things. This upgrade was automatically purchased, apologies.

"Weird, but I can't turn down scented-sheep. I would be a foolish fool of the highest foolery," Delta said with a solemn tone. She purchased the theme and all around, sheep popped out of the ground like dandelions, each of them a vivid color. Delta buried her nose in a white one's wool who ignored her to eat grass.

"It smells of… barn animals," she said with confusion.

That one is the 'mundane sheep' smell.

"Oh."

She tried a deep green one and it smelled of old cabbage.

"All these scents suck!" she protested.

No, you're just unlucky.

Delta tried a third one and it smelled of toast. A deep red one smelled of war and conquest. Delta pulled her face back and looked in the nearby ocean to see deep red lines now adorned her cheek from the red wool.

"I have the urge to kick people down holes," she muttered before rubbing her face clean.

That was five islands down and seven to go! Delta's favorite was Crab Island so far. But that was star bias really.

Crab people unite!