The Young Consort Wants to Live Quietly

Chapter 63

* * *

Facing that face, I was momentarily dazed. Even if she had a cold expression before, this was the first time I saw her so angry. And even more so, that angry face was directed at me.

She approached me with big strides and exhaled, “Ha, ha.”

“You, this kid…!”

She tried to say something but stopped. It was because she noticed the man sitting next to me. He stood up familiarly and paid his respects to Yehwa.

“Sunyu Aryun greets Your Majesty.”

His navy blue eyes were warm when he raised his head. Seeing that, I just blinked my eyes.

Sunyu ‘Aryun’?

The name is still unfamiliar to me. But it was important that his surname was Aryun.

Similar age to Yehwa. Surname Aryun, a man who had been away from the palace.

‘There shouldn’t be any male siblings.’

Then that means he’s one of the consorts. But there were no empty seats in the consort’s quarters.

I heard that the Empress had been exiled to her hometown, but…

‘…Huh?’

I quickly raised my head and looked back and forth between Yehwa and Sunyu. Come to think of it, their atmosphere was a bit strange.

“Why is the Emperor here?”

And Yehwa drove in the wedge.

‘He was the Emperor?!’

Right. I understand why he didn’t tell me his identity. How can you treat him comfortably after hearing he’s the Emperor?

I felt a bit resentful towards Sunyu, but I couldn’t say anything since it was my fault for easily letting my guard down in the end.

“I was taking a walk and heard a child’s voice, so I turned my steps.”

“Is that so?”

Yehwa answered in a tone that wasn’t really curious. From the beginning, her focus wasn’t on Sunyu right now. Her sharp green eyes turned to me.

“Sanya. Why are you here?”

“……”

When you ask like that, I have nothing to say, but you arbitrarily confined me in the palace first.

Unfortunately, in the absolute monarchy system of Seora, I couldn’t argue like that with the empress, so I shut my mouth. Yehwa took a deep breath as if she wanted to say more, but exhaled it as a sigh.

“Return to the Eastern Palace.”

Yes, yes. I should…

Unlike earlier when I walked, a palanquin was prepared. I boarded the palanquin feeling like I was going to a slaughterhouse.

* * *

Has the temperature in my room ever been this low?

I thought about something else while counting the patterns on the table. Thinking about other things in a heavy, uncomfortable, and scary atmosphere was my habit.

“I ordered you to stay in confinement in the Eastern Palace.”

But Yehwa didn’t let it go.

“Why were you at Baekmok Pavilion?”

In front of her, in other words, on the table, the letter I had received was spread out. The letter from Giyun that started with ‘Abida’.

“……”

Is it common across all countries to ask when they already know everything?

“Sanya. Answer me.”

“……”

“Is it correct that you went to meet your father?”

That bastard isn’t my dad. My mind, which was trying to turn the serious situation into something funny, kept interrupting.

“Yes. That’s correct.”

Although the person I met wasn’t Giyun, it was true that I went out to meet him, so I answered that way. At that, Yehwa let out a big sigh.

“Why?”

It was an interrogative tone, but at least it was a question.

Asking means there’s room for conversation, right? Although the situation was grim, perhaps it could be concluded well.

“I heard that my father, Giyun, is selling something called a panacea.”

My voice trembled a bit as I brought it up. That’s how nervous I was.

“I was curious about that. Since he thinks I love and follow him deeply as a father, I didn’t want to intentionally antagonize him.”

“From whom did you hear that?”

But Yehwa’s response was as cold as could be.

When I flinched, she relaxed her expression. But her face still looked tired.

“Didn’t I say it’s not something you need to know?”

Yehwa spoke as if she had a terrible headache. She still wasn’t listening properly. Her attitude of treating me as just a nuisance also made me flare up in anger.

“Then why did you ask?”

“Pardon?”

“Didn’t you ask me? Why did you do that?”

As my tone became sharp, Yehwa inhaled. The area under her eyes was dark as if she was tired.

“I apologize for being angry with you. But Sanya. This is an adult matter.”

In the end, the same words again. It feels like talking to a wall.

“Do you still believe I’m an eight-year-old child?”

I asked her weakly.

“Don’t you know something is different?”

“I know well that you’re intelligent. But Sanya, this is a different issue.”

“……”

“You are someone who needs to be protected. The reason you meet your father should be because you miss him, not for any other reason.”

She was firm till the end. I’m here, I’m shouting that I’m here, but the answer that I don’t exist kept coming back.

I know why she’s saying that. I can fully understand. The problem is that I’m also a person with emotions. Understanding and emotions are separate matters.

I know that what I said is absurd and that everyone can’t accept it.

But Yehwa had to understand this no matter what. It was my selfish desire.

Starkly different opinions clashed. I was tired of this argument.

“You said the palace is safe. Then how is there a spy inside the Eastern Palace?”

Yehwa looked surprised at my question. I could tell she didn’t know either.

“Perfect protection is impossible. I know that. In such a situation, what’s the use of saying the palace is safe, telling me to just stay here and turning a blind eye?”

“……”

“I know what you were thinking. I know you cherish me. But…”

My voice trembled. Anger and sadness welled up to my throat.

“Why won’t you listen to me?”

“……”

“Am I saying something absurd? Then at least tell me so, why won’t you listen to me at all?”

No one supported me. I understood such an opponent, but that made it more miserable.

“Why did you ignore my request to talk, but come to see me at the news of me skipping meals?”

“……”

“I’m not a pet being raised. If you treat me as a person, you should at least listen to my opinion, not just take care of my meals like an animal, right?”

Saying it as if spitting out the words and gritting my teeth, I raised my head and met her eyes.

Yehwa, mom had an indescribable expression on her face. It was the first time I saw her making such a face. But I was also agitated, and it wasn’t a situation to be considerate of her.

“I know I’m inexperienced too. But I’m not an idiot.”

“Baby, I…”

“I’m young, so you wanted to protect my innocence. You didn’t want me to get involved in dangerous things from such a young age. Isn’t that right?”

“……”

“I know. But I kept saying it too.”

“……”

“That I’m not like that.”

My throat hurt as if I had talked too much. Yehwa was listening to my words without any response.

“You asked why I went out, right?”

“……”

“No one told me that it’s dangerous outside.”

Having poured out my last words, driven by resentment, I slumped my body. It was funny that I lowered my voice in case that spy outside heard it, and then I felt sorry for my mom who might have been hurt by my words, and then I hated her again.

I was ultimately a selfish human, so sadness spilled out from the corners of my mouth.

“You say you’re my mom. But why don’t you believe me?”

Parents are also human. They are bound to have shortcomings. Even though I thought it was my fault for having expectations, my emotions couldn’t help it. Having said everything I wanted to say, I even felt refreshed.

But mom wasn’t. She was sitting motionless as if I had stabbed her with a knife. Her pale lips quivered as if about to speak, then closed, and eventually crumbled.

“Sanya, I…”

“……”

“Your mother…”

She couldn’t finish her words. Biting her white lips painfully, mom managed to say one thing.

“That… wasn’t my intention. I never thought of you as a pet either.”

She looked pained even as she spat out those words. It was the first time I saw her so shaken.

“I… made you have such thoughts.”

“……”

“I’m sorry, baby.”

She spoke very laboriously, tormentedly.

“I’m really sorry.”