The Young Consort Wants to Live Quietly

Chapter 57

* * *

When the surroundings finally quieted down, I got up from the bed. Although I was currently wearing sleeping attire, it wasn’t very cold since it was summer, and it wasn’t see-through either.

Tap tap. The door opened soundlessly as I knocked on the doorframe. Yeoryu, who had been standing in front of the door, let out a silent scream upon seeing me.

“My lady! Why are you in your sleepwear!”

Ugh, his face is already noisy.

“Then what else should I do? I don’t have the presence of mind to neatly put on outerwear when sneaking out.”

“For the princess of Seora to strut around outside in just her sleepwear… If Her Majesty finds out, she will be greatly shocked!”

“Her Majesty won’t scold me. You’re being too noisy, let’s go.”

“No, you can’t! You mustn’t go!”

Yeoryu stubbornly stood his ground as if telling me to step over him if I wanted to pass. Being someone who could do that without any qualms, I turned my head to Gowun. He also had a confused expression as if wondering what the problem was.

“It’s fine, right?”

“Yes.”

Right. This is normal. It’s not much different from the outfits I usually wear anyway.

“What do you mean it’s fine! It’s sleepwear!”

“It’s hardly any different from the clothes we normally wear.”

“You brat! Then you should also just wear your sleepwear all the time instead of your guard uniform! It’s comfortable and loose, so why bother wearing the inconvenient guard uniform!”

“Yeoryu. Gowun will really do it.”

Yeoryu went quiet when I calmly retorted. Taking advantage of that moment, I quickly ran out.

Thanks to the short distance between the Eastern Palace and Flower Dragon Palace, I was able to arrive quickly by whipping Yeoryu into shape. However, instead of knocking on the main gate, I circled around the walls.

When was it? There was a small opening that Yehwa had reluctantly shown me since I never visited, saying it would be faster to come this way if I ever wanted to come.

Since I wasn’t going there to hang out, my mind was in turmoil. My footsteps gradually slowed.

Did Yehwa notice?

Although it wouldn’t be completely hidden since I’m not actually young, I did put in effort. Actually, how would she react if I said it wasn’t true?

Yemyeon’s reaction flashed through my mind. Distrust and suspicion. That was the typical response.

‘Still.’

I didn’t think Yehwa would refuse to believe me. There was no particular reason. She just seemed that way. Somehow, I couldn’t imagine her getting angry at me anymore. It didn’t seem like she would criticize me no matter what I did.

“My lady?”

Gowun asked in a small voice. I abruptly lifted my head.

“Huh?”

“You don’t look well.”

At those worried words, I could only blink my eyes before shifting my gaze again. That’s when a question came to mind. Come to think of it, I’ve thought this more than once or twice.

Right. Why is that? What reasoning led me to think that way?

‘Because she’s my mother.’

That thought truly came to me unconsciously. I froze on the spot at that realization.

“My lady?”

Gowun called for me again, but I couldn’t respond.

Did I say mother?

It was almost laughable how naturally that thought occurred to me. Without any doubt, very naturally…

‘Have I been alone for too long?’

I didn’t remember my parents’ affection. As a child, it was sad not having parents like everyone else.

But it’s okay now. Isn’t it silly to throw a tantrum wanting parents at this age?

That’s what I thought, but truly…

“Sanya?”

Suddenly, a familiar voice reached my ears. Looking up, I saw Yehwa in her sleepwear, just like me.

She smiled brightly upon making eye contact with me. What a mind reader. How did she know I was just thinking about her?

“What brings you here?”

Yehwa approached me and lowered herself to meet my gaze. Her face quickly turned serious.

“Baby?”

Her voice was so gentle and warm.

“What’s wrong for you to make that face?”

Was your affection meaningless to me? Or did it change even the smallest thing?

“…How did you know I came?”

When I suddenly asked what came to mind, Yehwa laughed and lightly pinched my nose.

“Who else would make such cute footstep sounds besides you?”

At her playful remark, I gave a brief chuckle before falling silent. Even though my face showed no particular emotion, Yehwa’s brows furrowed when I laughed like that.

“Why is our baby like this?”

Yehwa picked me up. She stably supported me and wrapped one arm around me.

“Why am I like what?”

“Making such a sorrowful face.”

Me?

I was stunned. Did I make that kind of face?

Still, she comforted me. Pat, pat. The steady patting on my back made me quietly bury my face.

‘This happened once before too.’

When Giyun came to my palace. Yehwa’s reaction was just like this back then. I was fine, but she hugged me and patted my back, and I cried.

Thinking back, I was tremendously relieved by Yehwa’s appearance at that time.

I finally twisted the proposition I had established up until now. Yehwa thinks of me as her daughter and treats me as such.

Then what about me?

I didn’t feel an immense bond that was painfully yearning, like when recalling it. But it wasn’t as uncomfortable as with strangers. Rather, it was the opposite.

They say time heals all wounds. When did I become so used to this affection?

“Without even calling for you.”

It doesn’t matter that I was an orphan. I’m used to not having anyone to rely on.

“How did you find me?”

But seeing how I like this affection, I must have been a bit lonely.

Even when I tightly hugged her neck, Yehwa didn’t push me away and instead stroked my head. And she answered as usual.

“Am I not your mother?”

Those words made me feel like crying a little.

Right. You’re my mom.

Family relationships are not easily formed. Giving birth doesn’t make one a parent, and being legally bound is a separate issue from accepting it.

It’s not something that happens in a moment, but slowly seeps in.

Like getting your toes wet in a light rain, realizing your body is drenched, and before you know it, your head is submerged.

On an ordinary day, without anything significant happening, you suddenly realize it.

“Mom.”

“Hm?”

The response came back so naturally. Like a title I always heard, she answered very naturally. Emboldened by that response, I asked an anxious question.

“Mom. Do you love me?”

At that question, Yehwa hesitated. Soon, she hugged me tightly, and with a voice that sounded like she was crying and laughing, she answered.

“Of course I love you. My Sanya.”

The first time I asked, the first time I heard the answer.

Yet it felt like very familiar words. We were clumsy, thoughtless, and foolish, but the steadily poured affection sprouted.

It was the day we finally became family.

* * *

To explain out of the blue, the empress has the largest entourage in the palace. Even if it’s not an official procession, the empress is still the empress, so naturally, quite a lot of palace ladies and eunuchs follow.

The point of this is that quite a lot of people saw what I did when I went to Flower Dragon Palace and met Yehwa on the way.

‘How embarrassing…’

Although only Yehwa and I were in the room where everyone was made to leave, the awkwardness didn’t dissipate. I’m usually not very affectionate, but it was worse now.

‘What should I call her?’

I called her Mom just now, but that was when I was filled with emotion. Now that I’ve come to my senses, I don’t have the confidence to call her Mom.
But it’s also brazen to call her ‘Your Majesty’…

“You can call me the way you always do.”

She spoke to me first as I hesitated without being able to open my mouth. They were kind words, but I smiled ambiguously.

‘If I call you the way I always do, I’d have to use your name.’

Even in the relatively open West, calling parents by their names is considered rude, let alone in the East.

Even though I recognized her as my mother, my attitude didn’t change as quickly as flipping my palm. I still found it more comfortable to address her as ‘Yehwa’ or ‘Your Majesty’ rather than ‘Mom’.

But I should try to change that. Since she’s my mo…ther.

‘Ahhh!’

Ah, but honestly, please understand that it’ll take some time. I haven’t had parents for nearly 20 years. But at least I’ve started using the respectful form when thinking of her as ‘mother’. That was okay.

To think of something else, I shifted my gaze to the table. Several documents were spread out on the wide table, perhaps because she had still been working.

But…

“There’s no snack.”

“Baby. It’s not good to eat too many sweets.”

Yehwa, who amazingly heard my murmur, admonished me. I felt a bit abashed.

Well, it’s not that I particularly wanted to eat. It’s just that I’m not used to there not being any because everyone shoves sweets at me wherever I go.

‘…Come to think of it, it’s unfair.’

Is it my fault for getting used to it? It’s your fault for giving them to me.

“How much do I even eat when you give them to me? And you’ve never said anything about it until now, Your Majesty.”

When I made a remark out of unwarranted frustration, she had a surprised look on her face.

“You’re right. Your mother was wrong.”

After pondering for a moment, her response was docile. But not the next words.

“From now on, I’ll have to allocate your snack portions.”

…No, there’s no need to go that far.

Should I uphold my pride and agree, or swallow my pride for once and correct her? As I was seriously contemplating, laughter erupted from in front of me. When I raised my head, of course it was Yehwa laughing.

“It’s a joke, a joke.”

She lightly pinched my cheek and eventually gave me some dried fruit. Yehwa, who had pleaded with me to eat just one even as I refused, rested her chin on her hand and looked at me, then asked.

“So, did you come to Flower Dragon Palace just to eat a snack?”