The Young Consort Wants to Live Quietly

Chapter 37

***

If I were to only consider how kindly the Empress treats me, I wouldn’t dislike it. However, the kindness that is exclusively shown to me feels like there’s an ulterior motive behind it, making it uncomfortable.

I don’t particularly dislike her, but I don’t like her much either. I don’t feel inclined to be overly friendly towards her.

There wasn’t a significant reason for pushing Yehwa away. It’s just uncomfortable being around her, and while monetary gifts are burdensome, gifts that seem heartfelt are suspicious.

It’s ideal to match one’s heart to the other in size.

Yehwa does not love me. And she never will. So, it wasn’t particularly painful.

However, I didn’t want to walk the same path as the original Sanya.

The foolish Sanya, who lived unaware of a lonely life, was overjoyed at meeting a kind guardian for the first time and ended up dying by that hand.

The saying that rolling in dog shit is better than being dead really holds true. I have died once, and because of that, I don’t want to die again.

Up until now, even though the Empress has been trying so hard to endear herself to me, and I remain unharmed, it might be because her supernatural abilities do not work on me. But it’s always safer to stay away from fire.

But could I tell this to Mirinae? I moved my lips but then clenched them shut.

The Empress’s supernatural ability is a secret. In reality, aside from her close aides, no one knows about it, and even the members of the Yeoran family are unaware.

I know Mirinae has changed. But…

“I don’t dislike Her Majesty.”

I am still afraid.

“I am always grateful.”

Mirinae quietly looked at me. I couldn’t read any specific meaning from his kind face.

And at that moment, Mirinae reached out his hand towards me. I stiffened on the spot. Despite my intentions, my body wouldn’t move.

It’s probably the trauma etched into this body.

But apart from that, a timid, trembling heart suddenly reared its head.

Is he, is he going to hit me?

Unable to escape any further, I tightly closed my eyes. And then,

Thump.

“You little one.”

Mirinae’s voice, still subdued but playful, reached my ears. I was startled and opened my eyes wide.

Did he really hit me? No, it’s ambiguous to even say that. Did he poke me? No, was it a touch?

…What?

Mirinae, seeing my face wide open, sighed as if he couldn’t handle it and smiled.

“Raising a child is said to be the hardest thing in the world, but I never thought I’d actually come to realize it.”

Though it was a friendly remark, it was a completely shameless comment. Even if you were as cunning as a snake, where would you find a child as easy to handle as me, to make such an outrageous statement?

Mirinae chuckled at my dumbfounded face, but soon his eyebrows drooped sadly.

“You might see a lot lacking in us.”

I thought quietly with a downcast face. No, that’s not it.

“It’s because we are not yet perfect. Just because we’re adults doesn’t mean we know everything.”

His words struck a chord in my closed heart. Mirinae had a way of saying things that made me really want to believe him.

“Even so…”

The always confident Mirinae lowered his head.

“I’m sorry for not being reliable enough, my child.”

Mirinae apologized to me even though it wasn’t his fault. It was a bitter apology, devoid of any pretense, unlike the Mirinae I knew.

He lifted his head again. His face was calm, solid, and adult-like.

“Take your time. Speak when you want to.”

I forgot what I was going to say and just quietly looked at his face. He smiled and stroked my head. It was a warm touch. Feeling his hand, I bit my lip hard.

* * *

I walked listlessly, trudging along. The sunlight touching my skin felt unusually harsh.

Mirinae is kind. Gentle. And he cares for me quite a bit. Although different in nature from his affection towards Yehwa, it could also be considered love.

Despite my complaints and disbelief, my brain must have devolved to the level of a fish.

“Ugh.”

A groan involuntarily escaped my lips. I stopped walking and plopped down under the shade of a tree.

As if it wasn’t enough trying to understand why Yehwa had reacted the way she did, the sad look on Mirinae’s face weighed on me like a burden.

Why are human relationships so difficult? Why do you care for me so much?

It might be reasonable to trust him by now, but I still guarded myself. What if I told the truth and it made me a threat to Yehwa, and she killed me?

It seems like they genuinely care for me, but what if it’s just the way one cherishes a pet, and they can easily cut off their emotions, but I can’t?

“…I wouldn’t like that.”

I muttered absentmindedly and became dazed. It was my voice, but it felt strange. An incredibly lonely voice.

Ah, right. This includes more than just living or dying.

‘Was I lonely?’

Did I need someone to lean on? But now, at this point?

I looked at the small pouch in my hand with a heavy heart. A fragrant scent came from the tiny pouch.

It was the reason Mirinae had called me to his palace today, and to put it differently, it was a cookie embedded with dried raspberries.

Due to the similarity of the pouch, I naturally remembered the cookies Yehwa had given me before, and with my mind already cluttered, thinking of Yehwa only added to my distress.

Sitting quietly and sighing deeply, I saw from a distance Yeoryu and Gowun looking restless. They disappeared quickly when I said I wanted to walk alone for a bit, but the bushes around me rustled, making it obvious where they were hiding.

Sighing once more made a smaller bush rustle noticeably.

Gowun, you’re there…

Seeing that made the corners of my mouth slowly lift. Maybe because this body is that of a child, my mood changed quickly. I should call Gowun over and feed him some cookies.

When I turned my head to call Gowun, a shadow suddenly fell over me.

I stiffened for a moment and slowly turned my head, thankfully recognizing the person who came into my view. Bright red hair and clear blue eyes made a sharp contrast. Fashionably dressed. Short hair.

“Huh?”

His sharp gaze instantly rounded.

“Ah!”

Garam’s eyes widened in surprise. His already large eyes seemed like they would pop out. His dramatic reaction made me feel a bit embarrassed.

It was just a chance encounter, why the surprise…

“Ah! You!”

Garam pointed at me with his spread palm. It was his way of pointing. Jaei had taught him it was rude to point with a finger because he used to do it all the time.

A smile spread across his face, bright and cheerful as if he was happy to see me. Looking at his smiling face, I quietly thought that if we just attached dog ears and a tail, something would be complete.

“…It’s been a while. Consort Garam.”

“Hello!”

A cheerful greeting followed. I lifted the corners of my mouth while looking at his face, but my expression quickly returned to neutral. I usually smile when interacting with people, but today, I just didn’t feel like smiling.

“You look down.”

The words blurted out before I could stop them. I was the most surprised by them.

Down.

Am I? Am I feeling down right now?

More accurately, it felt closer to being troubled and annoyed, but perhaps that was due to feeling down.

“That, that… Really?”

While I pondered, Garam fumbled. I shifted my gaze back to him, and he fumbled even more. Is he broken?

“What, what should we do. Uh, um.”

He seemed quite flustered, evidently trying to think of a way to cheer me up.

After pondering for a while, Garam tentatively spoke up.

“Should I show you a magic trick…?”

Bieakjo. At the mention of this familiar yet unfamiliar name, I slightly furrowed my brows. It’s a mythical bird that supposedly cannot fly unless a male and female pair up, each sharing one eye and one wing. Surprisingly, even in a world filled with supernatural powers, magic, and even imoogi and celestial tigers, the legend of Bieakjo remained just that—a legend.

It was amusing to think that in a world teeming with such beings, the Bieakjo was considered nonexistent.

But what doesn’t exist cannot be claimed to exist

In other words, this meant that Garam hadn’t actually created a real Bieakjo.

It was the name of his phoenix.

I remembered his phoenix, which had a proper set of wings and eyes. And then, the image of that phoenix, suddenly losing one eye and one wing because of its name, made me feel a bit sorry for it.

I couldn’t understand why he chose such a name. Was Bieakjo the only impressive-sounding bird name he knew? It does sound somewhat similar to Phoenix, though.

“…Are you sure? Do you really want to see it?”

Snapped out of my reverie by Garam’s eagerly raised voice, I lifted my head.

I glanced once at Garam’s sparkling eyes, then at the sky, bathed in brilliant sunlight.

“…”

I smiled faintly and answered,

“Thank you, but I’ll pass.”

“Okay…”

At my words, Garam deflated. He looked amusingly like someone had crumpled him up with their hands. Watching his face, I reached out and casually placed my hand on his shoulder.

“……?”

Surprised by my sudden touch, Garam looked up. His face seemed to ask what was going on, clueless.

Still, I appreciate the thought. Thinking this, I patted Garam’s shoulder with my hand. Despite my touch being as stiff as a piece of lumber, Garam rolled his eyes once and then hesitantly spoke up.

“Um, that… thanks?”

“It’s nothing.”

My shameless response naturally came out, and Garam, oblivious to everything, laughed gleefully.

Such a foolish and innocent laugh. Watching his face, I took a breath and then asked.

“Why do you like me?”

“Huh?”

Garam echoed my question with one of his own.

Garam and I looked at each other with wide eyes for a moment, and I was the first to sigh and turn away. Yeah, why am I even asking this guy.

“Just, wait a minute!”

Garam urgently grabbed me as I was about to bow my head and leave. Though I thought about just walking away, I turned back with sincerity, and Garam looked even more troubled in that short moment.

What would he do if he ruined his only redeeming feature, his face? I reached out and pressed down on his furrowed brow, and Garam drifted off with a “Ah, thanks…,” before snapping back in shock.

“So, why do you like me?”

As I nodded, the furrow on Garam’s brow deepened even further. He grabbed his hair with both hands, groaning weirdly, then asked me with a face no different from before.

“…Was it that obvious?”

“…”

I was speechless.