The Young Consort Wants to Live Quietly

Chapter 15

***

Ah, right. That couldn’t be possible.

I sat still in the room where the moonlight shone brightly, thinking just that.

My body shivered uncontrollably even though I stayed still. Initially, I thought I had covered myself incorrectly with the blanket and pulled it up to cover myself more, but I still felt extremely cold. It was as if I had fallen into ice water, an intense cold.

Swallowing was difficult because my throat was swollen, and my stomach was upset and hurt as it felt like it had been turned upside down.

Playing outside in the cold weather and eating while feeling tense around an uncomfortable person had caused this trouble.

Sanya’s body was weak, and I originally had stress-related stomach issues. When stressed, it directly affected my stomach, causing pain as if I had been punched in the solar plexus. I thought changing bodies would solve the problem, but it seems it wasn’t a matter of the body.

How could eating such delicious food lead to indigestion? I was surprised it was possible.

Barely managing to get up with my body boiling, I drew the curtains across the bright window. They seemed too thin to make much difference, but I figured they would be better than a window greased with frost.

Just moving that made my head spin. It seemed I had quite a fever. My hands, bitterly cold, felt like they could melt ice when placed on my forehead.

Hands cold, forehead hot. No need for a damp cloth. It seemed fine just to keep my hands on my forehead like this.

I didn’t want to specifically call for someone. After all, I am the owner of this palace, and if I woke someone up because I was sick, there would be immediate chaos.

It would even reach the ears of the Empress and the other consorts, and unless I was on the verge of death, I couldn’t bear to see that happen.

Above all, I didn’t know where the palace maids slept. It was better to wait for the fever to subside rather than wandering the cold hallways and collapsing.

Even when I was young, I would sometimes get sick like this, but I would shake it off and get up after a night. It’s temporary, so I should get better soon.

Leaving the bed behind, I crouched in front of the brazier. The brazier was warm. It seemed some measure had been taken to keep the embers alive for a long time.

I wanted to sit there a bit longer, but my head was dizzy, and I kept swaying. It would be a disaster if I couldn’t hold myself up and ended up hitting my face against it.

I got up again and lay down on the bed with a shuffle. The bed, now cooled down, felt prickly cold against my fevered body.

Unable to cover myself with a blanket because of the fever, I curled up into a ball and buried my face in my cold hands. My head felt like it was going to split, and my eyes felt like they were popping out. But that wasn’t entirely bad.

“Sanya, does your head still hurt a lot? Should Mom peel an apple for you?”

It seemed like I could faintly hear a voice. When I was sick, I thought of Mom. The thought of Mom from the good old days.

When I was very young and my fever wouldn’t drop even during the day, Mom made me porridge. Porridge boiled with savory scorched rice. The side dish was stir-fried anchovies.

That day, Mom didn’t go to work. She stayed by my side all day, holding my hand and telling me stories, which I loved so much that sometimes I wanted to be sicker.

Every time I’m sick, I remember that. Now, it’s a memory chewed over and worn thin.

The difference between then and now is that when I wake up the next morning, Mom is no longer there.

I curled up even tighter. My small body quickly rolled up into a ball like a sphere. It was good to be in a child’s body.

I should fall asleep quickly. It was my habit to sleep without dreaming when I was sick. Even if I won’t remember anything upon waking up, I hope I don’t dream of Mom. It’s too sad when you wake up.

Thinking that, I firmly closed my eyes.

***

My head was foggy. It felt both hot and cold. I lifted my heavy eyelids to look outside the window. The moonlight, which had been a bright blue, had somehow turned yellow.

Is it already morning? And am I still in this state?

I could hear the sound of people moving busily in the distance. It seemed they knew I was sick. It made sense.

If the sun was high in the sky and I was still in bed, it meant the palace maids had been coming and going.

Just as I was about to close my eyes again, someone burst through the door and approached me. Then, a spoon with a sticky liquid touched my lips.

Swallowing was painful enough, but could I manage to swallow this?

“My lady, please. You must drink this.”

I knew the owner of that voice was Seoyeon, but I didn’t open my eyes. The voice was Seoyeon’s, but it reminded me of my mom when I was very young.

With my eyes closed, I struggled to take the medicine. A bitter medicine, like red ginseng, filled my mouth.

I felt a hand gently stroking my forehead and cheeks. My nose tingled, but no tears came.

Soon, I heard more bustling sounds. Someone was speaking in a flustered voice, and another voice was low and calm.

“Ah, it seems … she ate … yesterday,”

Hearing that voice, I finally understood why my throat was so swollen and my lips were so cracked. Something I ate during yesterday’s meal with Mirinae had caused an allergic reaction.

The frustration I had been holding back became uncontrollable because my body was weak. Even in my pain, I gritted my teeth.

Useless till the end. Someday, I’ll make you into a fish stew……

My head was dizzy, but my stomach started to hurt even more. The pain, as if my stomach was being wrung out, made me curl up. It might not be stress-related.

What if it’s appendicitis? In this world, I can’t just have surgery, and if left untreated, it could lead to peritonitis. Ah, I don’t know. It hurts. It hurts so much.

Perhaps I made a sound of pain without realizing it, because someone came closer to me. I heard the rustling sound of fabric. Then, a cold hand touched my forehead.

I heard a soft humming sound. I had never heard it before, but it was familiar. As soon as I heard the song, my swollen throat eased. My body relaxed with the feeling of loosening up, and a greater pain surged from my relaxed abdomen.

“Ugh……”

Writhing in pain, I curled up, causing Mirinae, who was standing in front of me, to step back in confusion, apparently unsure why I was still in pain. It’s hopeless. Mirinae’s healing power is limited to physical ailments.

Perhaps it was a relief. If Mirinae’s power couldn’t heal me, it likely wasn’t appendicitis.

The humming continued a few more times, and I tensed my body further to avoid the previous pain.

Stop, just go away. I need some rest…

And then I fell into a sleep that felt like fainting.

I could hear the sounds of people moving, then silence, then noise again. When I was given another dose of bitter medicine, the piercing sunlight had disappeared.

Not long after, the sound of the door opening quietly filled the quiet room. Someone touched my forehead with a hand so cautious it seemed afraid of breaking me. I half-opened my eyes.

I was still in too much pain to fully regain consciousness. Even through my blurred vision, I could quickly see the guilt-ridden emerald eyes.

It was the Empress.

She continued to stroke me with a face full of guilt. I wanted to immediately get up and tell her I was fine and she could leave, but my physical condition wouldn’t even allow me to lie about it.

“I’m sorry.”

She whispered softly. What was she sorry for? For humiliating me on the day of the wedding banquet? Or for stacking those strange fruits on the plate?

Sure, it was wrong, but why apologize now?

“It’s okay…”

I barely responded. Even to me, my voice sounded like it was dying.

It’s okay. So don’t come here. I don’t want to die. Whatever you do with those other consorts, I don’t care…

“Go away, just go…”

My voice was slurred due to the fever. Thoughts in my head were trying to spill out without any filter.

You being here will spread rumors throughout the entire place.

Go to your palace. Or go to the consorts. Whatever, just leave from here…

As I struggled to keep my mouth shut, the Empress whispered quietly to me.

“It’s okay. There’s nothing.”

What’s okay? What’s nothing? It’s not okay at all if you’re here.

Just go. Leave quickly…

Unable to hold back, I murmured. I could feel the Empress leaning down to listen to my ramblings.

“Go away…”

“Shh. There are no monsters.”

What’s this about monsters? You. I’m talking about you.

Frustrated by her inability to understand, I was furious. If I weren’t sick, I might have gotten up and yelled.

No, if I weren’t sick, maybe this wouldn’t have happened at all. My consciousness was fading again.

It seemed like I had slept all day, and yet sleep came again. Without much resistance, I surrendered to the drowsiness. But with the last bit of energy, I whispered to the Empress, who seemed ready to hear a dying man’s last words.

“Leave…”

Please ensure that when I wake up, the Empress isn’t resting her head in my hand, asleep.

With that prayer to a god I didn’t believe in, I fell asleep.