The World I Was Supporting Was Real

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“Lady Linashita. Please wake up.”

Eirene was abruptly jolted awake by Iggon shaking her sharply amidst the sound of rain hitting the window.

“Ugh….”

As I opened my eyes to the gradually audible voice of Iggon, his expression was incredibly serious.

“What is it…?”

“It seems we will need to leave soon.”

“…What?”

“I heard some unsettling news at the cathedral today.”

To summarize Iggon’s report, soldiers from the rebels were apparently planning to conduct thorough searches of every household in the outskirts soon.

For now, the chaos within the Imperial Palace had hindered a proper search operation, but it seemed they were gearing up to find the escaping prisoners.

“Finding prisoners, huh…”

Surely, that must also include searching for the missing Emperor.

“So, it looks like we need to escape from Igguoqueden Castle for now. Come this way—”

“Wait.”

Eirene said this and then pushed away the hand Iggon extended.

“Lady Linashita…?”

“Um… well.”

Of all times.

At this very moment, one rule that had always constrained her life flashed through her mind.

—Never believe anyone easily.

The path she had walked as an Emperor had always been one where one could be deceived if they weren’t careful. If only authenticity or justification would help her, she was merely a woman without any foundation who had taken over the throne due to the sudden death of the previous Emperor.

Most of her retainers had been unwilling to acknowledge her, who had been lucky enough to become Emperor, and had openly pursued forming their own factions, often gravitating toward the young princes and princesses.

Initially, when she had just ascended to the throne, she had been foolishly deceived. She had been humiliated to the point where the title of Emperor did not suit her amid the decorous flattery of the nobles.

She resolved to kill the heart of the dreamy girl who spent her time at tea parties within the beautifully decorated imperial palace like a cage.

After several purges followed. She dealt without mercy with those who clearly had their sights set on her, fully knowing that while she would never stain her hands with blood recklessly.

There was only one purpose. To strengthen the imperial power as much as possible so that the first princess would be able to govern in a relatively stable situation when it came time for her reign.

In the religious world, a saint had appeared, and outside, the magic was becoming stronger, with monsters beginning to raise their heads again.

If the political situation became unstable during such times, just as it had always been, the Einsberg Imperial family would fall into extinction, replaced by a new family and a new empire.

She absolutely couldn’t allow herself to be remembered in history as the one who ruined the imperial family during her tenure—only that thought led her to mistrust others.

Recently, she had begun to think that perhaps she could finally reap the fruits of a stable foundation she had long sought, when suddenly a rebellion broke out.

And it was by the hands of the trusted general and her own raised nephew.

In spite of expectations for swift suppression, she found herself hiding while continuing to rely on others.

In this situation… was trusting this man and going outside the right choice?

Everything he had done for her until this moment could all be to prepare for this very instance, and in reality, he could have figured out she was the Emperor and sold her out… or maybe…

“Lady Linashita…?”

“….”

Eirene was someone with a sense of propriety. She realized that throwing out the words “I can’t trust you, so I can’t follow you” to a person who had helped her both materially and emotionally until now was a fool’s errand.

Of course, a lively and young woman might be forgiven for such antics.

But isn’t it absurd? A 36-year-old grown woman throwing a tantrum at a man!

Moreover, he was likely younger than her. Regardless of status, she couldn’t possibly open up about her true feelings.

Especially if he were a man whom she had started to care about.

Yes.

Without relying on anyone… now, she was even suspicious of the only man who was genuinely helping her.

—What am I doing here?

In the final moment, was it the words of an Emperor, deposed by her nephew, that she couldn’t make an important decision without a single person to trust?

She trembled. Eirene realized she couldn’t give any answer.

She couldn’t say she didn’t trust him, nor could she say she would trust him…

Iggon said nothing for a moment…

“Oh…!”

He grabbed the trembling Eirene’s hand.

“I see you are suspicious of me?”

Eirene looked at Iggon, startled, her eyes wide.

His gaze… was warm. It was not a reproachful gaze. It was the sort that gently swept over her.

“You know, the more someone has been hurt, the harder it is for them to trust others. You mentioned it on the first day. You don’t trust people. You’ve been hurt by trusting someone, and that’s why you were trying to protect yourself, weren’t you?”

“Iggon… I, I….”

“Still—”

—Believing in someone isn’t a sin.

“!!!”

“So, regardless of the bad things that happened in the past, when Lady Linashita thinks deeply, even if just once, I want to trust this person… if that thought arises, I believe it’s okay to trust them.”

After all, as long as we are human, we must believe in and rely on each other to live.

“You might get deceived again. But if you do nothing out of fear of that, it would be truly regrettable to miss out on someone you could genuinely trust.”

Eirene quietly gazed into Iggon’s face.

Thump, thump.

The beating of her heart was perhaps due to the urgency of needing to escape, or maybe it was something else…

“Sleep.”

Iggon extended his hand to Eirene once more.

“This time, please trust me. Living while believing in people and in something beyond that isn’t such a bad thing… I will show you.”

And cautiously, Eirene took his hand—

* * *

In the dimly lit back alleys of Igguoqueden’s Royal Castle, with the gentle rain falling.

Two figures, a man and a woman, were running hand in hand toward somewhere.

“This way.”

“What is this… a carriage?”

“Please change your clothes inside for now.”

Eirene stepped into the cargo compartment.

As he said, there was a garment inside. It was clothing she recognized. —A Nun’s Robe from Guoden Church.

Now that she thought about it, to safely escape from the castle, it would indeed be better to disguise herself as much as possible.

Eirene let her hair down from its previous tied position. Her long, bright yellow hair cascaded down to her chest.

Then she removed her clothes and put on the nun’s robe.

‘…It’s a bit tight.’

It felt like the robe might burst at any moment, but she managed to wear it somehow.

Even though the fit exposed her generous chest in a rather ridiculous manner… she even had the silly thought that perhaps because it had holes, the robe might not burst.

They say that the larger the chest, the higher the divine power, but what was so great about this? It was heavy and uncomfortable, and just as that thought began to cross her mind.

‘What does Iggon think of this…?’

Suddenly, such an audacious thought crossed her mind.

It wasn’t strange. It’s just that, people from Guoden Church liked larger chests. Even when they first met, they had praised her for size alone…

‘…What am I thinking, Eirene!’

Eirene hit her cheeks with both hands.

Why was she having such useless thoughts at a moment when she was supposed to be escaping?

As she managed to get herself dressed in the nun’s black veil and stepped outside the cargo compartment—

“…Wow.”

“Huh…?”

Iggon turned his head away, avoiding eye contact.

Eirene worried that something might be wrong—

“Oh, no. I’m sorry. It’s just… you’re so beautiful.”

“…!!!”

Eirene immediately snapped her head around—

“D-Don’t say nonsense! Even if you flatter me like this…”

“It’s no flattery! It’s true. But… like you said, Lady Linashita, it really isn’t the time for such talk right now.”

With a slight blush, she took Iggon’s outstretched hand again.

Thump, thump.

The sound of the rain grew increasingly fierce.

Even though her body was getting wet from the rain… she felt relieved.

Because she feared that the pounding of her heart might be heard by him.

They arrived at the castle gate holding hands.

The guard greeted Eirene and Iggon with an expression that suggested he found them a bother.

“Where are you headed?”

“We’re trying to get to Saint Aigerdong Monastery.”

“Oh, it’s you, Iggon. Greetings. And this is…?”

The guard eyed Eirene in the nun’s robe.

It would have been tense, but perhaps it was because Iggon was with her? She didn’t feel uneasy.

On the contrary, she calmly closed her eyes and greeted him.

“Hello.”

“This is the first time I’ve seen a nun like you.”

“She’s a nun who has recently decided to follow the will of the God.”

Iggon’s explanation made the guard nod without further questioning.

“Got it. It’s not just anyone but a member of a priest’s group, so there should be no problem. Go on through.”

Iggon bowed his head gratefully.

“Thank you. Come, this way.”

* * *

How long had they walked hand in hand with Iggon?

As the raindrops grew thicker, she turned back and realized the Igguoqueden Castle was already quite far away.

Having lived a life where she always looked down from the tower of the castle, now she was being chased from the Emperor’s seat.

While escaping through the castle gates, she found herself looking up at the distant monastic city of Igguoqueden, but—

“Be careful, Lady Linashita. It’s raining.”

Strangely enough, just having Iggon by her side brought forth a rising optimism.

Anyways, they had made it outside the castle.

Once they reached the monastery where they could take shelter with Iggon, she could finally confirm what was happening with the retainers of other fiefs.

Although she considered going there personally… it was necessary to be cautious about who among the retainers was conspiratorial.

Splash, splash.

“We have to go uphill… are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Though the rain was pouring heavily, she had certainly roamed around these places when she was younger.

Just as she thought this, a few minutes later—

“Ugh…!”

“Lady Linashita!”

Pathetically, she stumbled and twisted her ankle on a cobblestone.

Sure, she roamed around quite a bit when she was younger, but now she was no longer a young girl.

Checking the fallen part… it was visibly swollen.

Iggon knelt down and lightly examined Eirene’s injury.

“It’s not a serious injury, but… can you walk?”

“…I can walk.”

“Can you truly walk?”

Eirene bravely stood and tried to move her feet a few times, but…

‘…!!!’

She fell right back down again in the flush of roaring pain.

Her body had become like a wet rat, what a sight.

At that moment.

While examining the injury, Iggon turned around, squatting in a position with his back to her and said—

“Lady Linashita. Come, climb up.”

* * *

Shooooosh—

The rain pattered against Eirene’s back.

…She didn’t intend to ride. Above all, she didn’t want to cause Iggon trouble by being stubborn in the rain.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

Her chest pressed directly against Iggon’s broad back.

Rather than feeling shy about their bodies touching… she was more concerned if he would hear the sound of her heart.

What do I do? If he finds out… what will I do?

At this rate, I felt like I was going to spill my heart out, so Eirene tried to squeeze out some words.

“…Am I heavy?”

“No. You’re not heavy at all.”

Iggon was undeniably a different kind of person than herself. He was tall, broad-shouldered… strong arms.

He was a man, not like the women she knew.

Eirene found herself having the foolish thought of whether men inherently had such completely different bodies from women.

Shooooosh—

Before she knew it, they had climbed up the mountain, and as the sound of raindrops on leaves could be heard—

“…Iggon.”

“Yes, what is it?”

“When nobody believes in me, how do I learn to believe in others?”

Eirene found herself unintentionally speaking for the first time about her innermost feelings.

The feelings she had never revealed, out of fear of appearing weak.

“I didn’t trust anyone because trusting meant betrayal. In the world I was in, to trust someone was proof of weakness. Those who trusted someone were extinguished by their trust. No one was left behind.”

Words that wouldn’t be understood without a bit of prior knowledge poured out of her.

“No one naturally believed in me. I got used to that. I also didn’t trust anyone, so having someone trust me was simply exhausting. But now, it’s ridiculous, but I wonder how to trust someone. If they don’t trust me, how am I supposed to make them believe in me… I couldn’t answer that earlier, which is why I couldn’t respond to you, Iggon.”

Even now, she didn’t ask hoping for an answer.

She just… wanted to open up. He had said that humans must rely on each other.

While no one had genuinely approached her as an Emperor… perhaps you, who didn’t know she was the Emperor, could allow her to depend on you.

“When no one believes me, the method for mutual trust…”

Iggon didn’t dismiss Eirene’s words as foolish; instead, he earnestly pondered.

With every slight movement of his body, a masculine scent wafted from him.

And—

“I don’t really know either.”

This man once again offered an unexpected response.

“What…?”

“How to trust someone, or how to convince those who don’t trust me to believe… honestly, I have no idea.”

Saying that, he turned his head toward Eirene still perched on his back, wearing a starlight-like smile—

“So, would you like to learn together with me from now on?”

“…What?”

“Let’s learn together. How we can trust each other.”

Thump, thump.

Thump, thump.

The rapid beating of her heart swallowed the sound of the rain.

The very voice that spoke to her, that she thought she had been harboring, everything, it all got consumed.

What remained was the sound of her beating heart and the trembling sensation in her body as she recognized herself as a woman before being the Emperor.

Eirene von Einsberg.

At the age of thirty-six, she had finally come to understand men for the first time.