NOVEL NEXT Chapter 042 – Be Yourself
[2009 – June]
Jealousy sat deep in Rogue's heart when she looked at Jean standing opposite to her, in between a pissed-off Ellie and a frighteningly calm Yukio.
Even though Jean was her teammate and friend, she couldn't help herself after hearing about her and the new guy being an item after only a day.
Her own inability to have physical contact was partly responsible for that as she was constantly envious of other people's light-hearted skin contact, while her own craving for intimacy had to go unanswered.
She knew that she should have taken Jean's side, as the redhead didn't owe it to any of them to be an X-Men. It was a decision everyone had to make for themselves and after what they had witnessed yesterday evening, she could sympathize with Jean.
Rogue wasn't a telepath, so she could only imagine the horrors Jean had found in the little girl's and her parents' minds.
And yet when Jean had needed her support against the accusing male duo of her team, she had given in to her jealousy and pretended to be neutral while staying behind Scott and Kurt.
As shame slowly drilled its way into her heart, Rogue heard Scott not only say something unnecessarily crude but also something incredibly stupid.
“It's the new guy, isn't it!? That prick infected you with his cowardice when you screwed him?!”
A momentary silence spread before she was sent flying by Jean's anger-driven outburst of telekinetic powers.
It was an unspoken truth that Jean was one of the most powerful mutants on Earth and definitely the most powerful amongst the recruits. And Rogue honestly didn't think that Scott could be so blinded by his own obsessive delusions and jealousy, that he would risk angering Jean into slipping her control. But then again, so was she.
“You take one step into my fire and I will stay in the team. Don't do it, and I never want to hear you speak to me again!”
Jean's angry declaration echoed through the training room directly after, while flames burst from her body, making her realise the graveness of the situation.
Just as she was panicking and thinking about what she could say to calm Jean down, she saw Pietro and another guy, whom she recognized as Elijah, appearing. And when Elijah stepped into the fiery dome around Jean without further thought, she thought that he had gone crazy and/or was suicidal.
What she did not expect was to see him being totally fine and enveloping Jean in a gentle embrace, calming her down with a few simple whispers. And when Jean practically melted into his embrace as they kissed, Rogue could practically feel the love between them materialise.
The relief Rogue felt as Jean had calmed down, was short-lived though, jealousy rearing its ugly head once again. She knew that she should apologize to Jean, but she found it hard to swallow her pride, with guilt, shame, and envy clouding her thoughts.
In the end, Rogue simply turned away and left the training room, following Scott's and Kurt's example.
…
Elijah broke the kiss a few moments later, as his lips wandered over her cheekbone before they reached her ear and he asked softly: "Wanna tell me what happened here?"
Turning around in his embrace, Jean's arms snaked around his neck, as her hands buried themselves in his beautiful locks. Looking up into his vibrant-green eyes, affection and worry shining in them, a surge of warmth pulsed through her heart as she answered.
“I just met them to tell them that I wanted to quit the team and we got into an argument. Ellie and Yukio just accompanied me for some moral support.”, Jean explained roughly.
A small frown of surprise appeared on Elijah's face, as he asked in confusion: “You quit the team? What does that mean? Has the Professor assigned you to a new recruit unit?”
"No. I quit being a recruit altogether. I already told the Professor when I met him earlier. We talked about yesterday's mission and I realised that I couldn't do the 'right' and 'good' thing when that means letting more people get hurt.", she said with a faint sorrow in her eyes as a bitter smile sat on her lips.
Elijah sighed audibly, as he gently pressed his forehead against hers and voiced out: "I'm sorry. I know becoming an X-Men meant a lot to you."
“It's okay.”, she whispered, feeling his strong arms coiled around her, “I don't need to be a hero to do good.”
…
Hearing these words from Jean, I knew that some major changes had taken place in her heart. Or maybe, she had just decided to take her own path.
And even though I saw the faint sadness in her eyes about her dream to be an X-Men being over, there was also something akin to relief as if a burden had been lifted off her shoulders.
I knew that the expectations the Professor had placed on her, or more likely indoctrinated in her, about using her power for 'good' had until now directed her life and had weighed heavily on her mind.
Seeing her shake off those burdens, I couldn't help but be proud of her. It really didn't matter to me, if she wanted to be a hero or not, I just wanted her to take her own path freely.
And I knew that her leaving the X-Men, even as only a recruit, would have a number of serious consequences, which I would gladly face if that meant she could be free.
“You don't have to be good or bad, nor an X-Men.”, I remarked softly, as I continued, “You just have to be Jean.”
Hearing my words, a tender look appeared in her bright-green eyes and she left a gentle kiss on my lips, before smiling brightly and whispering: “I love you.”
"I know, my love.", I whispered back, leaving a small kiss on the side of her neck before I turned towards the others, Jean also turning in my embrace to face them.
“Thanks for having her back, girls. And thanks for telling me, Pietro.”, I said, glad that I had found friends in the three of them.
"You all wanna come over for dinner tonight? I will cook something as a thank you.", I invited them.
"Don't mention it. Though I am sad that I couldn't teach that blinky-eye a lesson. Seriously, Scott is just such a jerk.", Ellie responded with a huff.
“Of course we had to help Jean. Girl-Power!”, Yukio cheered still all hyped, as she fist-pumped the air, “And we actually wanted to ask you two the same! Though eating at your place sounds better than in the dining room.”
“If you serve something with broccoli, I am never gonna eat at your place again.”, Pietro remarked dryly.
“Broccoli it is.”, I stated with a bright smile.
…
Afterwards, I went back to the gym, though this time Jean accompanied me after changing into some tight workout clothes which made me want to eat her up where she stood. And it was only thanks to the tight leggings and loose shorts I wore, that I didn't embarrass myself.
My training went vastly different than yesterday though.
Yesterday I had worked out hard, but I hadn't truly overstepped my limits. Sure I was very sore afterwards, but that was mainly because every normal human would be after hours upon hours of intense training.
The weights I had lifted and the settings I had chosen were still within the scope of what I, as a baseline human, could handle, but today was different.
Every time I worked on a machine, I chose a setting that was over my current limit and simply pushed through. I could practically feel my muscles rip with every set I did, but I didn't care and I didn't have to.
After a short couple of minutes of rest with soft drinks and power bars specially developed by Hank, my new regenerative powers took care of my overstrained muscles easily before I continued.
The first couple of sets were hard, near unbearable, but I knew that it would be worth it.
'Nothing is free.', I chanted in my mind, making it my mantra and drawing motivation from it.
Of course, Jean's presence was also a huge factor of encouragement, even if she told me to take it easy several times.
I knew that a great many people would want to harm her should they ever find out about her true power, as even now there were many that would much rather see her dead than alive, knowing that she was a very strong mutant.
Her worried eyes and gentle touches were a constant reminder of what I had to protect. And it worked.
With every hour that passed, I could feel myself getting stronger as my muscles healed the microscopic tears, becoming thicker and more durable in the process.
My metabolism was simply inhuman after I got not only Peak Human Stamina, but also Peak Human Regeneration.
Thinking back, I could finally understand the Captain's 'I can do this all day'-line.
Not as bragging or motivation but as the simple truth. With attributes such as this, I basically forgot the meaning of fatigue.