The Villainess Wants Her Prince to Live!

Regina had always thought there were no dreams more terrible than the ones she had been having of her future death.

She was wrong.

When Regina woke the next morning after realizing that her vision had, for once, failed her, she woke up screaming.

Henrietta raced into the room with a very large and very ugly vase above her head that Regina barely saw because she felt the horror of her dream right down to the core of her bones.

Regina knew her cousin was speaking, but the words were a wash right over top of her head as the truth of her situation gradually grew clearer.

She could only speak after another few moments of silent panic, even as her cousin stood guard over her.

“Henrietta,” Regina finally said after she put the shattered pieces of herself back together again. “What… would you do if someone was trying to murder you?”

Henrietta flexed the giant vase above her head.

Regina somehow managed a laugh, though she sobered quickly.

“But what,” she asked, “if a giant vase was not going to be enough? What would you do if your murderer was not willing to appear where you could hit him?”

Henrietta frowned, obviously disconcerted at the thought of a problem that could not be resolved through a vase-based solution.

“If this is about the Sheridan elders,” Henrietta said at last, “I believe that they will not try to murder you right now. Still, I did bring some extra special “flavoring” if you are concerned –”

“No!” creed Regina hastily. Though she would not shed a tear if all the Sheridan elders died, Regina was fairly sure that Henrietta thought “subtle” was a form of fruit. So the last thing Regina wanted was for Henrietta to unsubtly try to poison the Sheridan elders on Regina’s behalf and die for it.

“No,” Regina repeated, more slowly. “What I meant is… what if there was someone who you kept seeing in your dreams? What if this person was the secret to you not getting murdered? What if hypothetically, you just had a dream where there were sixteen copies of this person all dancing around you frolicking in infinite flowers screaming “darling” until you could bear it not one second long –”

“Oh,” said Henrietta, cocking her head. “I would probably get rid of the extra ones, but just kidnap the one that could keep you safe and attach him to you with a chain? That way you would never have to worry again.”

Regina stared at Henrietta who smiled back pleasantly.

“By the blood,” Regina finally whispered in utter horror. “You… might actually be correct.”

Henrietta’s face had an irritating habit of quickly going from surprise to smug satisfaction.

“Oh,” Henrietta said, even as her lips quirked up, “so you are going to ask Prince Artem if he will –”

Regina winced, anticipating Henrietta’s reaction to the impending madness.

“Attach the two of us together through a chain wrapped around our wrists?” Henrietta concluded, to Regina’s utter shock.

“What?” Regina replied, dumbfounded.

“I would not mind,” Henrietta added, sounding dubious, “but I do not think you need to take it that far. I am not a fan of dancing, frolicking, or flowers so I cannot perfectly take the place of your pretty, prancing prince.”

Regina opened her mouth, only to find no sound coming out.

“However,” Henrietta added, looking resigned to what she would have to do to support her cousin, “I will call you horrifying pet names as your princeling does if you want me to. So, darling –”

It was almost a relief that Henrietta’s increasingly horrifying words were interrupted by Artem bursting in through the window with a scream.

It was less relieving that this action caused Regina to shriek and Henrietta to reflexively throw the nearest vase – which somehow always seemed to be within one brawny arm’s distance – at Artem.

Indeed, the only thing that prevented Henrietta from committing regicide was the surprising speed with which Artem was able to somehow rip off a brooch and throw it against the vase – an act that somehow led to the vase shattering against a nearby wall.

“By the blood,” Regina cried as she felt her heart try to escape her ribcage, “Artem – how did you manage that?!”

Henrietta said something under her breath that Regina was sure she misheard about “the princeling’s Alpin power is to be able to do anything when you and chains are mentioned.”

“My dearest heart,” said Artem, though his smile somehow seeming more… toothy than normal. “My darling sea urchin!”

“I am not sure,” said Regina, quite reasonably, “that calling me pet names explains how you exploded a vase with your brooch!”

“Would you rather,” said Artem, his eyes suddenly wide and wounded, “that I be hit by the vase? Because,” Artem added in the same breath, with that same strangely toothy smile, “I can do that if that is what you wish!”

As Regina’s eyes widened in horror, Artem marched towards one of the incredibly ugly vases that Regina was starting to realize were everywhere in the townhouse.

“No, my dove,” Regina said in genuine fear, “please please do not hurt yourself! I do not want you to be hurt!”

Artem stopped as suddenly as if she had frozen him in place. He turned back towards her with a sorrowful smile and then walked slowly towards her.

“Have I made you unhappy?” he said softly, sounding genuinely concerned.

“I was just startled by you exploding a vase,” said Regina, now baffled and more than a little worried, “but I am not unhappy.”

“Then why,” said Artem, softly and sadly, as he reached out to weave his fingers with hers, “do you wish to – to… chain yourself to someone other than me? Do you not enjoy the pet names I have for you? I can come up with more! My delightful badger of darkness!”

Regina felt the physical shiver of revulsion pass through her body as she hastily said, “No! NO! The current pet names are perfect. Please do not provide me with new ones!”

Then Regina blinked, realizing she had missed something vital.

“Wait…” Regina said, very slowly. “How did you know what we were speaking of?”

“Because he was waiting outside the window,” said Henrietta at the same time as Artem said, “Because I was waiting outside the window.”

Regina looked from one to the other.

Neither of them seemed to think this was unusual or even worth any further comment.

She realized that Henrietta had made her proposal knowing that Artem was listening… and that neither of them seemed to think that was worth mentioning either.

Instead, Artem cocked his head and his expression changed to one of confusion. He looked rather like a puppy who had done something wrong but was not quite sure what it had done.

“He arrived,” said Henrietta very helpfully, “when I suggested that we chain ourselves together.”

“How did you notice that while I did not?” said Regina, now feeling both confused and somehow excluded.

“Because it was half past seven,” said Henrietta, pointing to the grandfather clock against the wall. “Your princeling always arrives at half past seven.”

She was right, Regina realized. Regina herself had just… taken it for granted that Artem appeared every morning, but he did in fact have timing and a schedule.

So if Regina had been discussing something that she did not want him to hear, it was her own mistake in not realizing how thoroughly and completely he had integrated himself into her life.

“So,” said Artem tentatively, “you are not going to call anyone else your sweet dove?”

“Darling,” said Regina wearily, “it takes all my energy to find pet names for you. I do not need pet names for or from anyone else!”

It was maybe the most direct Regina had ever been with Artem… But she was well-rewarded by his look of heartfelt delight as he gently brought her hand to his mouth for a soft kiss.

As Henrietta backed away in disgust and picked up another vase that Regina was not even sure existed previously on her way out of the room, Regina let herself relax.

After all, Regina knew Artem was… eccentric and even if he was strangely afraid that Regina would share horrifying pet names with someone other than himself, it was nothing to cause her concern.

No, Regina quietly thought as she fell into Artem’s embrace and felt his fingers begin winding their way through her hair, Artem’s pet names are not what worries me. Instead, I should worry about why I never saw a vision of my death back at the orphanage. In every other near-death experience, I saw the future – which often included my corpse! So why did I almost get crushed by wainscoting without a warning?

Yet as Artem pulled away from his embrace to smile tenderly at Regina with shining eyes, she realized what she had forgotten.

Of course, Regina thought as she grasped what she had previously missed. In every other vision of my death, Artem was there to see my corpse.

It took everything in Regina’s power of self-control not to gasp as she realized the truth. However, when we went to the orphanage, I left him behind… and he must have been unable to find me once I died.

There was only one reason a man as devoted as Artem would not have found her body and Regina could not fully suppress her shudder as she realized the truth.

The reason I could not see the future is because Artem must have been accidentally killed by the same forces as killed me. I can only see the future through Artem’s eyes so if he is not able to witness my body, I am blinding my own vision. Not to mention that if I cannot see a vision, Artem must have been killed as well. From now on, I must keep him by my side at all times.

That was when Regina gazed up at Artem’s tender, hopeful face and made her next play.

“My sweet dove,” Regina said, trying not to cringe at the sound of her own ridiculousness. “You alone can call me all the pet names you please. I also have the perfect idea for how we can achieve even more… intimacy.”

Joy bloomed across Artem’s face at the thought of being even closer to Regina.

Regina smiled and hoped it did not look as diabolical as she currently felt.

~♦♥♦~

The worst part about her plans, Regina realized, was that they relied on everyone in her life being exactly as disappointing as she believed them to be.

This meant that even when Regina was successful with what she wanted to accomplish, she knew that her plans only worked because so few people in her life actually cared about her.

Therefore when Regina sat down to the breakfast table with her parents and Artem, it was surprisingly gratifying to feel him squeeze her hand in support as she braced herself for the disappointment that she was about to face.

Regina knew that her plan was going to succeed.

Unfortunately… Regina knew it was going to succeed because her parents cared nothing about her.

They cared only for what she could bring to them.

Only the gentle pressure of Artem’s hand reminded her that her success this time would be a positive step towards a future where she never had to face that kind of disappointment again.

Taking a deep breath, Regina said, “Father, mother, I have something important to share with you.”

Midway through stabbing at her toast with a sharp knife, Regina’s mother froze, while Regina’s father’s eyes bulged out of his head as though he were faced with a calamity of accounting.

“Did,” said Regina’s mother, her calm facade shattered due to the knife suddenly stabbing through the plate and into the table, “the family elders send you a present?”

Before Regina could respond, Regina’s father spoke as if every one of his words was as sharp as her mother’s knife. “We told the housekeeper that all… presents were to come to us first. We will be expressing our… displeasure immediately after breakfast-”

Of course, thought Regina numbly. The only thing her parents cared about was how many material goods and how much money they could accumulate. Apparently, it was even to the extent that they were taking gifts meant for her.

Regina was more convinced than ever that her plan would succeed… but somehow she could not even bring herself to open her mouth to confirm it.

Thus, it was a great relief to have Artem cheerfully respond with, “Oh, mother and father, no! My darling has received no… special gifts of any kind. No, my sweet turtle dove and I have simply decided I will now be staying permanently at your family’s town house. After all…”

Artem’s guileless smile was too sweet to be calculating, even if his words were… strange.

“I will not be persuaded otherwise. When I make up my mind to be closer to my bride, I must do as I please.”

Both of Regina’s parents went still at that, although Regina had no idea why Artem’s lovesickness would make them seem so guarded.

Feeling nervous for reasons she could not quite articulate, Regina awkwardly smiled and said, “Besides, if my wonderful Artem is near, he can keep me from being chased about by wild panels of wainscoting!”

Of course, Regina was still not sure why the wainscoting, the heavy wooden wall paneling, on the orphanage walls had nearly crushed her during her last dance with death. She had even spent precious gold to directly investigate the wainscoting herself.

Unfortunately, the report had informed her that the wainscoting was touched by nothing more than mold and leaves. If there was some secret metal mechanism that had controlled that wainscoting, it had already been removed by the time of Regina’s investigation.

Then again, Regina thought bitterly, I might be dueling against the Crown Prince himself. He has more than enough resources to hide any crime he might commit against me.

No, I cannot directly fight the Crown Prince or anyone like him. All I can do is make sure that I can see the deaths they plan for me… and avoid them however I can. To do that I must have Artem by my side. He is my only window into the deaths that I face!

So, fueled by pure desperation, Regina decided to ditch the last remnants of her dignity and beg.

“Mother and father,” she woefully said, “Please let Artem move in already! If Artem moves in with us, everyone will see how dearly he cherishes our family!”

After all, if there was one factor that her parents might value more than pure gold, it was reputation. Luckily, theirs could only be increased by the news that an actual prince was willing to move in with them.

Regina was neither hurt nor surprised when her mother responded at last to that, thawing enough to say, “Well, Prince Artem’s stay would save us gold on windows. After all, glass is very dear.”

“That would not matter as much,” Regina muttered, feeling oddly irritated even though her mother was agreeing with her, “if you did not spend so much of that gold on horses.”

Regina’s mother just bitterly laughed before saying, “You are just not aware of the pleasure of a good, hard ride, my dear.”

Regina could almost feel her heart stop in horror at the turn this conversation was taking – though at least disgust was feeling better than the disappointment that came from seeing how little her parents cared for her once more.

After all, most parents would have refused to allow their unmarried daughter to live with an unrelated prince, even if their daughter was meant to marry him in a few more months!

Then again, Regina bitterly thought, my parents would not care even if I were brutally murdered like my poor sister. So why should I care if they do not mind my virtue or reputation being compromised by Artem living with me?

At least I am still alive and might stay this way if I have Artem by my side at all times. That matters more than anything.

Yet before Regina could respond, her father surprised her by slamming his fist down on the breakfast table.

“Is there,” her father bellowed, “something you two need to tell me?!”

Even as Regina jumped in shock, she was almost… glad to see her father seem in the least concerned for her.

Unfortunately, any optimism she had about her father dissolved when he went on to say, “Prince Artem, if we let you live with us, do you plan to burst through our doors as well as our windows?! If so, I will need to commission more carpenters so that we can get a better rate on hardwood!”

Regina’s mother just sniggered before adding, “I think there will be plenty of hardwood once the prince moves in.”

Before Regina could save her enemies a great deal of trouble by dying of embarrassment, Artem interrupted.

“Oh no!” her angelic prince cried. “I would not not dream of redesigning your house, especially without your permission. I merely plan to try not to regularly prick Regina… still, it is sometimes unavoidable when coming together, so I hope that you will be understanding!”

Feeling horrified beyond words, Regina stared first at her mother and then at her father.

Fortunately or unfortunately, neither of them seemed inclined to speak.

Finally, an exhausted and demoralized Regina quietly asked, “Artem, do your pricking-related plans mean that you will make more brooches for me?”

“Oh!” Artem cried. “Right – brooches! They do look lovely on you!”

Regina tried to speak but could only make a faint, wheezing noise before she gave up and looked at her parents again.

Please, she tried to silently tell them. I know I have done this to myself but please, save me before I completely succumb to the insanity.

Instead, following their long-held policy, her parents disappointed her once more.

“Husband,” Regina’s mother said in a crisp voice, “we should be somewhere else entirely.”

“Of course,” Regina’s father replied, getting up without sparing his daughter another look. “Good luck, you two, and try not to shatter anything else of value. I grow tired of seeing my ceramics budget constantly running a deficit.”

Regina just stared as her parents left her to her fate.

“I am an only daughter now,” she bitterly muttered, “but I am somehow still the least favored child.”

Beside her, Artem presented her with a giant, freshly made brooch glittering with gold and gems.

“Please,” he said, eyes glowing with happiness as a smile spread across his handsome face, “hold still so that I do not prick you… for now.”

Regina stared at him, but Artem stared back with that cheerful, thoughtless smile that seemed to have absolutely nothing but flowers and frolicking behind it.

It had to be her imagination… but if she was already so on edge, how would she survive two months of this kind of closeness with Artem intimately living with her?

So Regina needed to find a way to be close and yet… not too close.

Thankfully, there had been one invitation that Regina had not yet thrown into the wastebasket.

Perhaps that one held a temporary solution to her conundrum.

“My feathered fancy,” Regina asked her fiancé while smiling sweetly, “how do you feel about dancing?”

When Artem’s face brightened at that, Regina paused for the barest second before adding, “...and fish?”