The Villainess Wants Her Prince to Live!

Regina was still seething when she arrived back at her quarters, both princes in tow.

She was not sure how Crown Prince Aaron had invited himself along, but he had proven impossible to shake. Even before Regina had tried to tell the crown prince that she and Artem needed privacy to do some, er, prancing, Aaron had pointed out that Regina might not know her way back to her own quarters.

“Besides,” Aaron said with a smile that reminded Regina of something with too much teeth and too little food, “I wish to know more about my dear brother’s bride-to-be. Artem, will you not tell me more of her?”

Artem had seemed delighted to do so… and had immediately started a soliloquy of Regina’s virtues (many of which seemed to revolve around her willingness to tell him what to do and how to do it). Regina had not previously believed it was possible to die of embarrassment, but she was learning many things in this brave new adventure. However, her embarrassment did not stop her from sneaking discreet looks at Prince Aaron’s icy face, in a kind of horrified fascination.

Aaron seemed as convinced of Regina’s virtues as she was of his, even though Artem kindly began describing the wonders of his brother midway through their walk.

By the time they arrived at Regina’s quarters, Regina was thoroughly sick of being told that Aaron was the kindest, most gracious, most supportive older brother Artem could have, especially since Aaron had not tried to assassinate Artem even once!

(That Artem spoke of this like it was a world-shaking revelation suggested that the Alpin family was about as kind and loving as Regina’s own beloved Sheridans.)

Regardless, Regina had a sneaking suspicion that even if Prince Aaron was a loving brother, which might even be true, given that Prince Aaron kept all of Artem’s pressed flowers in his room, Prince Aaron did not think Regina was good enough for his younger brother.

That impression was only compounded when Prince Aaron gave her an overly-deep bow when they parted and said, through that terrifying smile, “It was a pleasure to meet you, Lady Regina. I hope that every meeting of ours can be just as… enlightening.”

Regina had managed a tight smile back and avoided allowing the crown prince to kiss her hands by throwing herself at Artem.

That was thankfully enough to drive back even the crown prince, who made a hasty retreat as she began pre-frolicking motions with an always-eager Artem.

Yet once Prince Aaron was gone, Regina abruptly stopped, much to Artem’s confusion.

“What is it, my sweet sea urchin?” poor Artem asked, his limbs frozen mid-skip. “Are you all right?”

Then, looking worried, Artem gently asked, “Are you tired because you did not get to eat or drink anything at the tea party? Would you like me to order a meal?”

Touched by his concern, Regina smiled before saying, “I do feel tired. However, instead of eating, I think I would like something else.”

Suddenly looking more flushed than before, Artem whispered, “What might that be, my sweet lady?”

Regina just looked at him with a flush on her own face, deciding that after all the rigors of this day, she deserved a little treat.

So, smiling with actual sincerity, she drew closer to her pretty prince and whispered, “Well, I was thinking…”

That was when Henrietta, with her usual impeccable timing, opened the door and bluntly said, “No time for romance, Regina. We have an emergency.”

Wild-eyed and wondering why the world hated her so, Regina spun towards the door..

“Your dress for the engagement ball,” Henrietta ominously said, “is finally here.”

~♦♥♦~

Five hours later, Regina emerged from the room in all her finery with a haunted look in her eyes.

Her cousin looked at her with such concern that Regina almost wanted to hit her.

“Are you going to be well tonight?” said Henrietta.

Regina thought woefully of the ribs that she was sure she no longer had, as well as the sheer amount of paint that she could peel from her face to distract potential murderers.

Perhaps, Regina thought, she could simply remove her skirt and have it form a deep wall between her and any pursuers since it weighed nearly as much as she did.

“Why,” Regina said, pasting a charming smile on her face, “would I be anything but ecstatic?”

Henrietta winced and took a few steps away from her.

Perhaps, Regina thought, she needed to show less teeth when she was trying for a charming smile.

With that in mind, Regina nodded at her cousin, picked up her ridiculously heavy skirts, and began to heave her way to the hall that would eventually lead her to her engagement ball…

The engagement ball where she had previously been condemned and then later murdered.

“Come,” Regina grimly said, anticipating the start of another night spent dodging assassins. “Let us see what horrors this lovely evening holds.”

~♦♥♦~

From the start of the ball, Regina had been on high alert. After all, during the last engagement ball she had seen in her visions, she had been accused of being a villainess and thrown straight to ‘house arrest’, which had gotten her killed in a carriage ‘accident’ with remarkable speed.

Regina doubted she would be accused of being a villainess again. She had literally had witnesses surrounding her for almost the entire day and anyway, Artem would try to defend her. However, she knew a poison-happy assassin was still lurking somewhere in this hellish party.

Thus, during the ball itself, Regina avoided food, drink, and dying with as much grace as possible.

‘At least,’ Regina wryly thought as she fended off one noble after another with a tight smile and a terrifyingly large skirt, ‘this ridiculous outfit serves as a barrier between me and the rest of the world.’

Indeed, this evening was teaching Regina the trick to being royalty. Apparently the secret to power was to just look like you meant to do whatever you were doing and people would allow you to do so without fussing, so long as you glared sufficiently at anyone who tried to interrupt.

Thus, Regina literally swept people away with her giant skirt and its attendant train and looked so imperious that the nobles seemed impressed by her antisocial activities.

Still, even she could not forever avoid the train of nobles who approached her to dance. She had tried using the strangely feathered fan that Artem had gifted her and saying she could not possibly dance with anyone other than her darling fiance, but even that was eventually insufficient.

She knew it was over when Duke Kuzey started walking towards her.

As Regina bowed, Duke Kuzey said that he admired how she managed to get a feet fish’s feathers to make her fan…

…And that he hoped it would not come back to reclaim its feathers.

Regina managed a smile at that, even as her mask of royal amusement threatened to crack.

“Is that,” Regina said,, “an act common among feet fish?”

“If you dance with me,” Duke Kuzey said, raising an eyebrow in a way that impressed Regina since she had begun to assume that his face had a single expression, “I will tell you more.”

Regina smiled with as much teeth as a feet fish possessed according to the mask left on her dream-corpse and extended her hand to his own.

Regina was not sure what she expected from a dance with Duke Kuzey, but it was probably not that he was the best dancer that she had yet encountered. It appeared that the North had opportunities for both fighting monsters and very rigorous dancing lessons.

The contrast was so great that Regina found herself unable to avoid commenting on it, especially since Duke Kuzey seemed unwilling to start the conversation he had promised her.

“I must admit,” said Regina, smoothly moving into a rather complex series of steps that she knew would have resulted in her imminent death by tangled limbs without a lead as talented as the Duke, “I did not expect your dancing prowess to equal your talents in bringing all conversation back to feet fish.”

Regina realized, half a second too late, that that was perhaps a little too honest for a royal conversation.

Then she nearly died of lack of breath when Duke Kuzey… smiled.

“I knew that you were wise enough to understand the importance of feet fish,” said Duke Kuzey, as Regina numbly wondered if the sheer beauty of a smiling Kuzey allowed them to be so effective at destroying their enemies.

“As for the dancing,” said Duke Kuzey, expertly weaving her between the couples around them, “as you have so cleverly realized, we train in it so that we can fight the feet fish in their traditional dance battles.”

“Of course,” Regina numbly replied. “How else would you fight a fish with many feet except in a… dance battle.”

Duke Kuzey frowned at the crowd around them and said in obvious disappointment, “Not a single person here would survive the first gavotte.”

As Regina wondered if she would survive her first gavotte, she decided to change the subject – especially since an annoyed Duke Kuzey seemed to do even more complex dance steps than before.

“Your grace!” said Regina. “You mentioned that you had something to discuss with me before our dance!”

The Duke’s face returned to the one neutral expression Regina recognized as if his previous joy and annoyance had never happened.

“You are playing a very dangerous game,” said the Duke, staring at the feathers on Regina’s fan. “Provoking a… feet fish by taking something they consider theirs means that you will never be safe again, not until the… feet fish is dead.”

“Do feet fish really,” said Regina, feeling increasingly nervous, “care so much about their feathers?”

The Duke moved her into a position where his breath was close enough to her ear that it traced her flesh as he spoke.

“It is not the feathers that enrage them,” said the Duke softly. “It is that you have made them lesser by showing your strength. The woods are a dangerous place when you have angered those who control it.”

Regina was still unsure why the Duke had decided to provide her with details on feet fish anatomy and habitat, but she made a mental note to cross any idea of the North off her list of “remote places where Artem and I can pretend to be potatoes”.

“Well,” said Regina with a shrug, “I could just get rid of the fan and let them fight over a handful of feathers by themselves.”

The laughter of Duke Kuzey was the most terrifying thing Regina had ever heard.

“My lady,” he said when the terrifying sound ended, “perhaps you can survive this dance after all.”

“Well not if you keep spinning me this rapidly,” said Regina crossly, coming to the very end of her very limited social etiquette abilities.

“Then take care that you do not let the Alpins spin you,” said Duke Kuzey, even as he did a much gentler turn to bring Regina back to position.

Regina had no idea how they had moved from feathers to Alpins, but it was as dizzying as every other part of this particular dance.

“Why,” said Regina, raising an eyebrow of her own, “should I fear the Alpins, my beloved in-laws to be?”

‘Other than the fact,’ Regina thought silently, ‘that they betrayed and probably murdered me in my first vision of the future.’

Duke Kuzey looked at her for a long moment before he spoke, slowly and deliberately. “The Alpins enjoy precious things, unusual things, things with power…”

Regina wondered what exactly he was implying about her before he suddenly drew close again and continued.

“...So long as they control those things. Should a treasure move beyond their reach, they will ensure it is either returned… or destroyed.”

Regina frowned. “I do not do well with metaphors, Duke Kuzey.”

Duke Kuzey shrugged. “Kuzeys do not believe in metaphors.”

Regina was honestly not sure if that made their conversation more or less confusing.

“Sometimes though,” Duke Kuzey continued, slowing their movements to nothing, and nodding his head towards the many metal ornaments around the room, “we all need to use things we do not believe in.”

With that, Duke Kuzey drifted away… leaving Regina with the next nobleman in line… as well as a baffled head full of feet fish, feathers, and a thorough conviction that the North would never be a vacation destination.

It was only a gentle cough that brought Regina back to reality and made her realize she was ignoring the nobleman in front of her.

“Lord Robin Buren,” Regina said, remembering his earlier flirtations… and the moon-pale flower he had previously created for her. “What an unexpected pleasure.”

Smiling, Robin held out his currently flowerless hand and reached for hers.

“My princess,” he said. “Will you do me the honor?”