The Terminally-Ill Lord Desires Hospice Care

In the cold dawn hours.
Breathing in the crisp, mind-clearing morning air, I took one last stroll around the estate. I had not suddenly become a sentimental person. I simply wished to see one last time the place where I was born and raised.
The more commonplace something feels, the more one loses appreciation for its value. Paradoxically, the most familiar is also the most ignorant.

“My lord, the carriage is prepared.”
In the middle of my final tour of the gardens, the butler informed me with a more solemn voice than usual that my stroll had come to an end.
I reached out towards a flower blooming on the syringa tree.

“Butler.”
“Yes, my lord.”
“When I was very young, I once asked you to obtain one of these flowers as a gift for my younger sister, do you recall?”
“Yes. You said you wished to give it to the sickly young miss.”
“The branches I could not reach back then are now easily within my grasp.”
I turned my gaze towards the estate.
“Yet the things that were within reach back then are now unreachable.”
“My lord…”

While I had resolved to live only looking at what I could reach, not the unreachable, humans inevitably gaze towards the unreachable, it seems.

“Do you know the symbolic meaning of this flower?”
“Regrettably, this old man does not possess such knowledge.”
“I see.”

I broke off a branch and decided to smell the fragrance of the flowers. In truth, I was not well-versed enough in scents to discern floral fragrances, nor did I particularly enjoy them. It was simply an unconscious, meaningless action on my part.

“May I take this flower with me?”
“Is there anything in this estate that does not belong to you, my lord?”
“From the moment I board that carriage, it will no longer be so.”

I patted the shoulder of the butler, who was shedding tears.
“Look after Rizehl well.”
“…Yes. If that is your command, my lord.”
“Thank you.”

Right after that final exchange, we made our way to the estate’s main gate. Since this would be my last steps with the one who had served me since childhood, I wished to enjoy that time a bit longer.
But my grown stride did not permit savoring that time. What was once within reach had become unreachable, and the time I wished to cherish grew far too short, leaving only regret. Yet the only compensation was the flower branch I now held.

I turned my head, wishing to etch the estate’s appearance into my eyes one last time.
This was the appearance of the place where I was born and raised. That was all, yet I could not take my eyes off it. The reason eluded even me.

“It seems mother and Rizehl do not intend to see me off in the end.”
I did not feel anger. Nor sadness or hurt. I just could not take my eyes off that firmly shut door. I felt some sort of emotion, but could not name it.

“Rizehl’s bedroom window is open. Have a maid close it – the morning air is chilly today.”
“As you command.”

Without realizing it, I started having vain fantasies about her window being open. And though I knew it was just a hopeless thought, I felt a slight uplift in mood.
For the simple picture that vain fantasy painted was satisfying enough to be worth it. So I decorated a corner of my mind with that unremarkable image of the girl secretly opening her window this dawn, before boarding the carriage.

“Wait just a moment!!!”
At that distant girl’s voice, I unconsciously turned to find its source.
Pointed ears, grayish skin, silver hair, red eyes.
The little maid who perfectly embodied the dark elf traits was running this way, whining as she lugged luggage half her size.

“That child will be serving you as a maid from now on. I told her to wake up early, but aah…”
“…She seems very young.”
“She should have no issues with housework.”

I approached the girl and carried her luggage to load it onto the carriage for her.
“Th-Thank you.”
“What is your name?”
“Betty, my lord.”
“I see. But from now on, do not call me ‘lord’.”
“Then what should I call you…?”
“Raul. Call me Raul.”

From the moment I board this carriage, I will no longer be Lord Berger.
I intended to leave behind my position, my surname, my traces – all of it here.
So that I could breathe freely out there, it seemed.
I planned to plant all of that here and depart.

“Now hurry and board the carriage. We have far to go.”
“Y-Yes!”

As I just realized, this child seemed to fear me.
Considering my ill repute, it was only natural, but there was nothing I could do about it now.

And so, after having Betty board first, I loaded my body into the carriage as well.
“Let’s depart.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, the coachman started driving the carriage.

Leaning my head against the carriage window, I took in the sight of the capital I may never see again, even though I was sure to forget it before long.
It was not for any grandiose reason. I simply did not wish to have the regret of ‘I should have at least etched the capital’s sight into my eyes one more time’ on my deathbed. Of course, I did not feel anything particularly special. As always, I just thought it looked that way.

Like a hearse, the carriage carrying my body passed through the city gates without issue. And immediately after the gates, some rather familiar faces were waiting to obstruct the carriage.

“But to leave without finding us first, there could be no greater disloyalty. Don’t you agree?”
“I’m disappointed, Raul. Were you confident you wouldn’t regret leaving like this?”
“Sulking by the window like some noble maiden being sold off to a wealthy household as a concubine.”

The moment I saw those faces, a sigh involuntarily escaped me.
“Is there no way to force our way past them?”
Of course, the moment the coachman saw the emperor, empress, and the ducal lady, he had dismounted and prostrated himself, unable to answer my question.

“…What a vexation.”
I had no choice but to disembark and meet their gazes – faces I had seen so often they bored me long ago.
And yet, these people had come out at the crack of dawn to await my departure, one who was no longer even a count.

“Was it worth seeing a face you’ve seen to the point of tedium?”
“Perhaps not worth it for your face, but was it not worth it for the time we spent together?”
“…That’s a bit cringeworthy.”

His Majesty briefly closed his eyes, let out a chuckle, and patted my shoulder.
“Stay healthy, and take care not to catch cold.”
“…I will.”

“As nice as it is to see male camaraderie, would you look this way as well?”
The empress firmly grasped my hand.
“Should the empress really be holding the hand of an unrelated man like this?”
“It is the bond between you and I. Who would say anything about such a profound, intimate relationship?”
“You speak so brazenly of misunderstandable things.”

Holding my hand tightly, the empress seemed to cast some sort of spell or enchantment on me.
“Let me know if anyone troubles you.”
“You intend to kill them?”
“Would that not be too merciful? To dare lay a hand on the empress’s friend.”

At this sight, the emperor and Camilla began snickering and teasing us.
“Hey, your wife’s cheating on you. That’s the technical term, a netora-…”
“Empress. To dare accuse you of infidelity before my very eyes is rather bold, is it not?”

Though their comments nearly got both of them separated from their lower bodies by the empress’s strikes, they did not stop teasing her. The wheelchair-bound empress chased them, fuming, while the brats skillfully evaded her and mocked her further.

“Quite the unruly brats, aren’t they?”
I did not know what was so amusing, but I too did not dislike this unruly frolicking. For it felt like a slight return to the past.

“Camilla.”
I grabbed the wrist of Camilla, who kept sitting then standing by the empress’s wheelchair to tease her.
“…You drunken fool.”
“I have a request regarding my fiancée. No, she is likely no longer my fiancée now, but still.”
“Why should I? That wench put you through hell. Thinking about how shamelessly she treated you, I should take a pike and smash her legs into…”
“She was the sister of our departed friend.”
“…Cold-hearted bastard.”

At that, Camilla abruptly pulled me into an embrace.
It was bewildering. While she often engaged in rough horseplay, it was rare for her to actually hug someone like this.

“…The world’s most hopeless fool. Vexing fool. Giving away your heart and soul.”
“Perhaps a fitting persona as a battle-crazed warrior’s friend.”
“I’ll come find you later.”
“I’ll be waiting.”

Even after bidding farewell, she would not let me go.
“You’ve lost a lot of weight.”
An uncharacteristically soft murmur from the voice that usually caused noise pollution with its thunderous volume.
“I’ve had no appetite lately.”
“If that’s what you wish, then so be it.”
“Yes. And send my regards to the master as well.”
“Got it.”
“…You should let me go soon.”
“Just a bit longer like this.”

And so, the reward for setting out at the crack of dawn was lost.
For Camilla did not release me until the morning sun had risen.
It was only after the emperor exerted great effort that Camilla was pulled away and led off somewhere by the empress.

“…For the time being, at least in name, you will become the lord of that small rural territory.”
“I understand.”
“There will likely be many conflicts and established powers, but I’m sure you can handle it.”
The emperor gazed at me with an indiscernible mix of emotions in his eyes.
“And as for those who have harmed you, we will take responsibility, so do not worry.”
“What do you mean?”
“Whether I should say it is fortunate or unfortunate that you are so oblivious… Well, at least for the lady, it would be unfortunate.”
“I cannot comprehend what you’re saying. Could you explain more clearly?”
“……This vexing fool.”
With a sigh, the emperor seemed to worry about me.
But the meaning eluded me.