The Terminally-Ill Lord Desires Hospice Care

After the banquet, while being escorted by the emperor’s guards to avoid the crowd that rushed in, I was able to safely board the carriage.
“…I’m tired.”
After giving my body over to the swaying motions for a few minutes and loosening the reins of my consciousness, the scenery of an entertainment district filled with taverns came into view.
How many hours had I spent with my face buried between my knees in that darkness? The entertainment district had already devolved into a rowdy mess of drunken adventurers and thugs causing a ruckus.

“My lord…”
The driver, understanding my temperament, rarely spoke unnecessarily, but opened his mouth this time.
“What is it?”
“It seems we should turn back.”
“The reason?”
“From the commotion, it appears some drunks are fighting up ahead. It would be best to turn back and arrive 15 minutes late to avoid getting caught up in such an incident, my lord.”
“I shall deal with it directly.”
“It’s just riffraff, my lord. No need for you to involve yourself…”
“It seems rather fitting for me.”

After disembarking, I pushed through the crowd to identify the source of the ruckus.
“Indeed.”
A muscular, drunken giant of a man and a rather beautiful female adventurer were resorting to violence against each other.
“Barbaric, but both seem like formidable warriors.”

Grabbing each other by the collars, they traded blows to the face with no attempt at evasion or guarding, in a rather straightforward brawl.
It was a quite intense yet admirable way of fighting, but the issue was that I had worked up a bit of a sweat today. So I wished to return and bathe as soon as possible.

“That’s enough.”
“Huh?”
“What’s this twig?”
“You two, stop fighting and return home. The carriage needs to pass through.”
I concisely conveyed my purpose.

“Why should we listen to your orders?”
“…The fireplace seemed a bit too hot.”
“Is this guy insane or what?”

I was not insane. I had simply worked up a bit of sweat from the intense fireplace heat, so I wished to return and bathe even 5 minutes sooner.

“Stop fighting and go home, just like that? You think it’s that easy?”
“It’s simple. Stop your hands, turn around, and go.”

Everyone was giving me strange looks.
“Do you not know how to turn your head or walk?”
“This crazy bastard is for real…!”

The muscular adventurer glared at me with an enraged expression. Was that expression from anger?
Or was it from the alcohol they had consumed? Not that it particularly mattered which, but I felt a slight curiosity.

Of course, I could roughly predict their next action regardless, so I decided to give a warning first.
“I don’t particularly care about your impression of me. But know this – if you resort to violence, I too will have to use force to protect myself.”

“If this guy’s crazy, he’s stark raving mad! Why the hell are you picking a fight here?!”

As expected, he swung his fist at me, and I raised my left palm to deflect his punch.
“Aaaarggghhhh!!!!”
Well, that was an expected reaction.

“…Did I not warn you that I would use violence as well?”
Anyone would scream in agony if their right hand was shattered. Rather, those who could remain calm after losing a hand would be the true inhuman monsters.

I dislike such violence. In fact, I cannot understand those who enjoy such meaningless acts.

“My hand, fuck! My hand, fuck!!”
“It seems I have crippled your means of making a living.”
I placed a few gold coins in his trouser pocket.
“Perhaps you should seek employment that does not involve wielding weapons from now on.”

I addressed the stunned onlookers and his former opponent once more.
“I will ask again. Please make way.”

Perhaps the weight of my words, tinged with blood, was different this time. Everyone was listening with expressions unlike before.

“I am not in a good mood right now.”
The night breeze was chilly, and having worked up a sweat, my mood could be described as utterly foul.
“I recommend you all quietly return home for your own sake as well as mine.”

I only said that because of the chill night breeze. Moreover, once the banquet ended, other nobles’ carriages would be coming this way, and if they got involved, it would only become more troublesome. So I gave a warning of sorts.

“If we delay any further, it will only become more inconvenient going forward. I ask that you spare me the trouble.”

For even I found it quite bothersome to restrain enraged nobles. But I could not simply ignore those who had obstructed the road while drunkenly fighting, subjecting themselves to potential punishment from nobles.
So the best solution was to prevent such an incident from occurring in the first place.

“Ah, I understand!”
They hurriedly disappeared somewhere, taking their injured comrade with them. I don’t know if they were truly comrades, but assumed they were colleagues who drank together in the same district.

“…I’ve only grown more tired.”
I trudged back to the carriage and leaned my head against the window, mindlessly letting time pass.

How much time did I spend simply keeping my eyes open while my body swayed with the bumps? The carriage came to a stop, and the driver opened the door for me.

“You worked hard.”
“Not at all, my lord.”

I returned to my study, swallowed a few painkillers, and tried to sleep. For there was no better way to spend what little time I had left than sleeping.

“Raul!!!”
I nearly teared up.
The reality that I was not even free to carry out my small convalescence plan was a bit saddening. Perhaps that sadness stemmed from this reality where even my own sister does not call me “brother” with any warmth.
I don’t know. As always. I can no longer even recognize the source of my own emotions.

“What is it?”
“What is it…? Is that really all you have to say to me? You really don’t have a clue?”
“I dislike dramas. I am not in a relationship where I would play-act by asking about things I already know. If you could not grasp that, let me be clear. I really do not know, which is why I asked that question.”

“Ah…I see?”
My younger sister let out an incredulous laugh for a moment before glaring at me with her usual hatred-filled eyes.
“So, Raul Berger. You suddenly say you’re relinquishing your lordship to me…?”
“It seems you listened without issue.”
“Without even telling me in advance, just suddenly? Did you not consider how the listener might feel? Did you not think it could be sudden for me?”
“What is the issue?”

I could not comprehend it. I truly could not understand.
Why was Rizehl getting angry? No matter how I racked my brain, my dim-witted mind could not grasp the answer.

“Is this not what you wished for? I have simply accelerated the inevitable sequence of events. So why do you call it sudden?”
“Explain it in a way I can understand! With that asinine way of speaking, I’m about to lose my mind!”
“Did you not wish for my death? If I died, the lordship would inevitably become yours, Rizehl Berger. I do not think you foolish enough to be unaware of that. For there are few who wished for my death as much as you.”

Does everyone not imagine what they will do after achieving their dream? If one’s dream is to become rich, do they not imagine what kind of house they will live in afterward? Is it not human nature to envision what comes after the dream of marrying a beauty?
I have simply accelerated that process slightly. Why are you not rejoicing?

“…Ah.”
I am quite the fool, only now realizing the crux of the issue.
“If the key point was the actualization of my death itself…”
“Hey!”
Rizehl roughly grabbed my collar.
“That’s not what I’m saying at all. Whatever I wished for before is completely irrelevant now…!”

“My perspective differs slightly, but I respect that view.”
“I’m asking why you didn’t tell me in advance!”
“Ah, indeed. So that was it.”

Then providing an answer would be ideal.
“Rizehl, I despise hypotheticals.”
For they were as much a waste of time as anything, which is why I despised them. But to provide the most effective answer now, I inevitably had to use such hypotheticals.

“If I had approached you to convey that fact.”
It’s not that I didn’t consider making such plans.
But I was afraid.
“Would you and mother have calmly stopped to listen to me?”

For I knew that answer better than anyone, which is why I did not wish to experience it directly.
“…If my hypothesis was incorrect.”
“…”
“Then I will immediately kneel and apologize for my rudeness. What do you say, Rizehl Berger? Have I been rude to you?”
“……”
“I shall take that silence as a negation. I will be going then. Any objections?”

Once again, Rizehl remained silent. Or perhaps frozen would be more accurate? My dim-wittedness leaves me uncertain even about that.
“See you around.”

Leaving her standing there in silence, I made my way to my study.
As I opened the door, the raven I had caged chirped happily while flapping its wings.

“Yeah, you told her real good! That’s how you gotta shut those brats’ mouths and put ’em in their place!”
“What are you talking about?”
“Weren’t you trying to shut her up with that talk?”
“I asked that question with sincere intentions. Rather, I’m disappointed the conversation ended that way.”
“…Seems you’re not normal either.”
“I consider myself normal.”

Ignoring the raven’s criticism, I opened a bottle and took a handful of painkillers, swallowing them whole.
“For it is only natural not to put down someone you do not hate.”

I did not hate my family. Just as fire is hot and ice is cold, I simply viewed them as the kind of people they were.
Just as no one gets angry at fire for being hot, I too did not get angry at my family for who they were.