The 'Smart'phone Saga: A Distracted Journey of Spells and Signals

Jasson had never flown during sunset before, and the air chilled as they sped on to night. The Sun melted into the horizon, curved lower by the edge of the world. It warmed Jasson’s back and cast a golden glow along the frosted tips of the mountain range until day was gone, leaving them soaring in twilight skies with deeper darkness ahead.

“How are we going to find the village at night?” Jasson said, “We can’t see them in this lighting. Or can you with your night vision?”

“Well someone forgot to go when we stopped,” Petra glared at Harriett, “We’d be there already if it wasn’t for her. And no, I can’t see the road. My night vision spell only goes so far.”

“Bummer. But you make it sound like we’re close?” Jasson said, “How do you know?”

Petra sighed and said “I don’t know. I’ve been following the road. The map has it situated on a small lake with a large chapel, but…”

They flew in silence for a few minutes before Petra sighed and said “Let’s head down. We’ve made good time and should arrive in the morning. Probably for the best since they’d be tired and-”

“What’s that?!” Clara said, pointing out towards something further north.

Jasson squinted. It looked like a dozen stars were soaring up into the sky, gently twinkling white.

Petra sucked in a breath and swerved the table to the left, sending Harriett flying over the edge. Jasson’s gut lurched and he nearly leaped to catch Harriett, but Harriett caught the leg of the table and spun back in like a sideways gymnast.

“CLOSE YOUR EYES!” Petra shouted.

Jasson reflexively shut his eyes before-

There isn’t a sound for light, no matter how bright. Light is better than that. Oh, there are sounds from the heat and expansion of the air, but light lets others do the announcing. It is simply here to dazzle. But this one was really pushing it, and those who can hear light would describe it as such:

wiiiioooooAAARRRRR!!!!

Jasson saw a vivid pink and he reflexively squinted against the bright, making a decent impression of an Asian with a migraine. After a few moments, Jasson blinked painfully as he saw that the dozen faint stars had exploded into twelve miniature suns. That was about all Jasson could see at the moment, and he looked away to try and let his eyes adjust.

“Wow,” Jasson said, “What was that?”

“HAHAHAH!” Harriett laughed, laying beside him, “I’ve gone blind! YES!”

“No you haven’t,” Petra said, “These aren’t nearly that level. I hope. Clara, get me my sunglasses.”

“Sure sis,” Clara reached into her locker and pulled out some stylish tinted shades, “need me to put them on you?”

“No,” Petra said, “I like to keep my eyes intact. How well can you see?”

“Not too bad,” Clara said, “but a flash like that screws hard with my night vision.”

“Uhh,” Jasson said, “What is that? And why are we flying toward it?”

Petra looked over her shoulder at Jasson and grinned, then said “It’s where we’re going. Take a closer look above the lights.”

Jasson covered the lights with his hand and squinted as he looked above. There was nothing there, just the darkness of a night sky. What was Petra on about-

Then Jasson saw it, or rather them. Hundreds of tiny fluttering shapes congregated above the lights in an enormous swarm, like the bugs by a lake. As if to emphasize her point, a bell started to ring and echo across the mountains. The town of Smill was besieged.

Clara squinted into the night and said, “They’ve lit up an air-kill zone, but it looks like they only have a couple of guys capable of reaching those heights. Looks like…oof. This is gonna take a while. Petra, should we land and approach on foot? Petra?”

“Sorry,” Petra said, shaking herself, “What type of attacks are they making?”

“They’re swarming above the town,” Clara said, “Over two hundred of them. They’re divebombing, but I think the light messes them up. A few are carrying away livestock. Hopefully.”

Petra said, “Night Wyverns then. Well, that gives us plenty of excuses to search the local caverns. Still, we need to engage them as soon as possible to minimize casualties. The road is- ah… bugger. &^$%. I hoped it wouldn’t come to this.”

“Come to what?” Jasson said as Harriett started to giggle.

“I can’t find the road, so if we land we’ll probably just get lost.” Petra said, “Although…I think I see it. Oh good. I’m sure that if we land I would be able to take them all-”

“No,” Clara said, “You’re tapped out. Even on your better days, you’d have trouble reaching that high. And even your explosive shots wouldn’t be enough to take this swarm down. You promised me that you wouldn’t push yourself again, not like you did that time.”

Jasson watched as Petra slumped, then said “You’re right sis. Harriett, any good at these sorts of fights?”

Harriet drew a long, graceful rapier that Jason hadn’t seen before, “Just gotta find the right spot. Stab the eyes, rip the wings, puncture pectoral muscles. I’ve always wanted to fight a flying type while it was actually in the air.”

Then Harriet cut her rope.

“WOAH!” Jasson said, “Don’t cut your rope! This is aerial combat!”

“It’s better this way,” Harriet said, “this way, I can jump between them in the air. It’s dangerous but more effective and awesome.”

“No you won’t,” Petra said, “All right. I hate to do this, and I wish it didn’t come to this. Jasson!”

“Yes!” Jasson said.

“We need you,” Petra said like she was chewing fish bones, “You’re the best equipped to fight here. Fire that light missile you can do and blow them up a few times.”

I’m part of this team too! Jasson thought. You don’t have to sound like you hate the idea of me helping so much. But…

“As you wish,” Jasson said, “We’ll have to stabilize so I can aim. I’ll give it a quick shot first since I don’t know how far these go.”

“I’ll try,” Petra said, “But if you blow us up I’ll kill you.”

“Fair enough,” Jasson said, “what’s the plan if we need to get close?”

“We won’t,” Petra said, “If we have to dive into the middle of the swarm then we’re dead. Clara and Harriett will defend the table while we drive shots into the mass. How many can you do?”

Jasson did some quick math and said “Last time was eight percent per shot and I’m in the seventies so… nine? Max.”

“That had better be enough,” Petra said, “If it’s not then we’ll head into town on foot and call it our best. Clara can carry you guys on the table, so don’t worry about getting too tired to make a run for it.”

Jasson nodded and took his phone out, powering it on. He could feel the others grow nervous as they got closer to the swarm, and Jasson was finally able to see them as his phone loaded. From this distance, they were like a swarm of birds, some of them carrying what looked like cotton balls. But as they got closer Jasson realized that those cotton balls were sheep clutched between the talons of dragon-like monsters.

“Wow,” Jasson said, opening MADaptation, “It’s like in the opening scene of that old movie Dragon Training for Dummies.”

Jasson put the light crystal on the screen and watched it change shape, then slid it into the audio jack.

Click

Breathe

“We’re still a long way out from the village,” Petra said, “I hope they have some kind of defense from multi-ton falling monster corpses. Try to blow them into the smallest bits possible, okay?”

“Oh gee,” Jasson made his way to the front of the table, “No pressure.”

“You’ll do great!” Clara said, “Just hit one. The explosion should stun more of them. They might fly away at that point and we can land. Remember, we don’t want to kill all of them since we’ll be hunting them later.”

Jasson did his best to smile reassuringly and aimed the phone at the distant monsters. He’d never tried to hit anything that far away, but it shouldn’t be that hard. Just aim for the middle.

How did CurryRanch say to hold a gun again? Jasson thought. Two hands, straight right arm, eyes down the sights. Not that I have sights, yoho.

It helped that there was no explosion from it leaving the barrel.

Gling!

Jasson had barely pushed the button when a brilliant missile erupted in a spray of sparks that blew into Jasson and had him patting frantically at his shirt. He expected it to get smaller the further away it got, but instead it stayed the same shape. He was able to make designs out on the side that he hadn’t before. It was beautiful, less of a modern missile and more of a work of art.

Then the light from the missile illuminated the swarm of Wyverns in an intense optical illusion.

Wow, Jasson thought, How are they so small beside my tiny missile?

Light flashed without a sound, like distant lightning, and all four of them took in a gathered breath.

“Woow,” They said as one.

Then the shockwave hit.

VBOOOOM!

The sound was like thunder’s bigger brother, the one who wanted to be a drummer and shot guns without ear protection. And the sound didn’t end with the initial hit, it bounced off the mountains and came back to hit them from behind. This was a mercy since it balanced out the percussive force just enough to level them out again as they fell.

They held each other, screaming in terror and Harriet in delight as they plummeted for the second time that day. The table whined and tried to flip like an old dog trying to do a trick.

“Come on,” Petra shrieked, pushing from the group hug, “Everyone to your corners!”

Petra focused on the crystal in her hands and said something that was lost to the wind and hearing damage. Nothing happened before-

“OOF!”

Jasson was crushed into the table, feeling every grain of wood tattooed into his skull. The table ground along the ground and flipped over, spilling the dazed crew onto the ground. Jasson felt a painful tug as the rope along his waist scrambled at the dirt, envisioning the massive table dragging him off a cliff.

The tug was brief though, and left a painful welt across Jasson’s waist. Jasson sat up in a daze and saw Clara lowering a limp Petra back on top of the upside-down table. Harriet had ended up in a tree and was sprightly swinging her way down.

“Is everyone okay?” Jasson said, “I take it Petra’s asleep?”

“Dead to the world,” Clara said, straightening, “Not literally though. She’ll be fine tomorrow morning. Cranky and out of Aura, but fine.”

“That was amazing!” Harriet said, doing a double backflip before she landed, “I’ve never feared for my life so much! A city-crushing display of power from my esteemed companion. Truly a wild power to have wielded by such an unsuspecting peasant.”

“Oi,” Jasson said, groaning as he stood, “My mother says that we have the blood of kings. Charlemagne at least.”

“I wouldn’t know about being related to an alcoholic beverage,” Harriett said, “It’s not something I would brag about.”

“Come on guys,” Clara motioned to the table, “I’m gonna keep carrying us so hop on.”

“It’s not broken?” Jasson said, “Didn’t we crash?”

“Not quite,” Clara’s voice said, slapping one of the legs, “Petra cushioned us at the last second, but it was rough. You’re all surprisingly okay though.”

“Unfortunately,” Harriet said, “I wanted to pass out from that impact! Faded to black and carried to safety is a lot cooler than dizzy but okay. I should at least walk beside you.”

“Please don’t,” Clara said, “Just take it easy and let me-”

“What Clara’s saying is,” Jasson interrupted, “She understands that it’s difficult to watch her shoulder the weight of everyone, but she asks that you don’t take the easy way out and take the shame of relying on the twins for a little longer. It will be hard, but worth it to let them finish bringing their friends to safety.”

“Okay!” Harriet said, smiling, “I’ll endure this then. After all, there’s more than one pain someone can experience.”

Jasson edged away from Harriett and looked around, the forest lit by the giant lights, then said “I don’t see a road. How will you know where we’re going?”

“I won’t,” Clara said as they climbed on the table, “But I figure that heading towards those lights is a solid bet.”

“True,” Jasson said, settling back down in his corner, “Gosh. Now I feel dumb.”

“That’s okay,” Clara said, “everyone gets their moment to shine...”

Clara hauled the table up and two jerky movements that sent Jasson bouncing and sliding down the table. Then with a couple of tosses Clara found the balance point and started towards the lights.

The silence stretched for a few seconds before Clara said “Umm..was it just me or was that missile stronger than normal?”

“What?” Harriet said, “That’s not how powerful it usually is?”

“No,” Jasson said, “we’d all have died twice over if that had been the case. It seems a suicidal amount of power for something that can be used close to us.”

“I think it grew bigger,” Clara said, “But it was hard to tell because it never changed in size to my eyes.”

“So that wasn’t just me.” Jasson thought for a few seconds, “Maybe it grew bigger at the same rate that it would have shrunk to our eyes. How big do you think it was when it hit?”

“About twenty feet,” Clara said, “but that’s only a guess. I’ve never heard of magic doing something on its own that turns out in your favor. Petra says you have to envision it perfectly for it to happen, but you’re using a magical device so…”

“I wouldn’t say that it was in my favor,” Jasson said, “That was overkill. I mean, is the town even okay? That was a massive blast!.”

“They’ll be fine,” Clara said, “more importantly, are you okay? That much magic should have drained your pool entirely.”

“I’m fine,” Jasson said, “Besides, it’s not my pool it’s my phone’s charge-”

Doo-doot!

Jasson looked at his phone, alarmed. Five percent remaining.

“What the heck!” Jasson closed the apps, pulled the crystal out, and powered down his phone as he desperately charged it.

Doot.

Four percent and charging.

“What the heck?” Jasson repeated, willing his phone to charge faster, “Why- well I mean this makes sense but it would have been fricking nice to know before shooting.”

“What’s that?” Harriet said, “It’s your viewing crystal, right?”

“Kinda,” Jasson said, “It’s a magical device from my home. It also serves as my wand. Basically, I charge it with a light crystal and then cast spells using it, and that was my most powerful one but… I had no idea.”

Why? Jasson thought. What logic does this follow? I feel like I’ve seen it before in video games…

Jasson thought for a few seconds, then said “I think…it gets more powerful the farther I shoot it, but takes more power to do so.”

“NO!” Harriet said, grabbing Jasson’s hands, “That’s so awesome! Can anyone use-”

“Oi!” Clara said, “Stay on your side of the table, you’re throwing me off balance.”

“Yes, ma'am!” Harriett said, scooting back, “But really, can anyone use your device?”

Back off, Jasson thought, I’d rather not get my phone stolen by your fast fingers.

“No,” Jasson said, “It takes my fingerprint, see?”

Jasson demonstrated the fingerprint reader on his phone and Harriett nearly unbalanced the table again.

Then Harriett said something truly disturbing in a fantasy world. Something that has a different, stare at your ceiling at night kick once your imagination isn’t limited by physics.

Harriett said, “So if someone could perfectly replicate your physical appearance, they could use your phone? It’s not linked to your soul or anything?”

“Probably,” Jasson eyed Harriett, “Have you ever heard of it happening?”

“Just doppelgangers,” Harriett shrugged, “It’s mostly the stuff of stories. So do you plan on using this phone to take over the world then? Destroy a few cities, strike fear into the hearts of those who oppose you?”

“WHAT?” Jasson said, “No! Why would I?”

Harriett shrugged and said “Aren’t men always talking about getting more power, ruling the city, that sort of stuff? Don’t you?”

Jasson said “I mean, I want to get stronger but I don’t want to be in charge! That sounds like my worst nightmare!”

“Why?” Harriett said.

“The decisions!” Jasson said, “I’d be responsible for people’s lives! That’s a terrible idea, I’d just mess it all up! I mean, I’m #*&% seventeen! I don’t even know how to manage a store, never mind the world!”

“Huh,” Harriett said, “I think I understand what you’re getting at. Still, it’s just part of life isn’t it?”

“What, ruling people?” Jasson said, “No. What world do you live in?”

“One with families,” Harriett said, “Yeah, I might be a little over-ambitious, but you want to have a family right?”

“Eventually,” Jasson said, shifting.

“Well then,” Harriett said, “You’d be ruling over your family.”

“What?!” Jasson said, “No. Whoever I marry will be an independent well-realized woman capable of making it on her own and- and I’m not going to rule over her.”

Harriett raised an eyebrow and said, “Well, duh. But I’m talking about your family, not your marriage. You must rule over your children unless you think your kids will be able to take care of themselves. Power over others is something that comes with life, and so is the relinquishing of power when the time comes. To shirk such duties is profane irresponsibility where you wish sickness and death upon those you abandon.”

Jasson gaped for a few seconds before saying, “What the heck? How did our conversation even get here?”

Harriett shrugged and said, “I believe that I was asking how you plan to use your viewing crystal.”

“Right,” Jasson sighed in relief, “I mostly just scroll and watch cat videos when my favorite creators don’t post.”

“Cat videos?” Harriet said, “I think I’ve heard of that recently. Is it just videos of cats?”

“Yeah,” Jasson said, “Wanna see?”

“Nah,” Harriet said, “I’m not too fond of cats. Nothing against them, I just don’t like how lazy and overconfident they are.”

“Huh,” Jasson said, “That’s a first. You sound like you challenge them to a fight.”

“I mean, yeah.” Harriet said, “Don’t you?”

Jasson blinked then said “Umm…no. Don’t let PETA know you do that.”

“Who’s Peta?” Harriet said, “Is he the king of cats? Do they have a real warrior out there somewhere?”

“Not a warrior,” Jasson said, “A lawyer. Or at least someone who hires lawyers.”

Harriet shivered and said “Warning taken. Ooh! I think I see the town of- what was the name again?”

“Smill.” Jasson and Clara said at the same moment. Jasson and Harriet turned to Petra, who was passed out on the table snoring daintily.

“We’ll manage,” Clara said, “Let’s find the town Lord and report to him.”