The Saga of Tanya the Merciless

Every asset has its place, 

Every failure leaves some trace. 

Sort them proper, use them well, 

Each must serve where skills best dwell.

The morning's inspection of Processing Facility Three wasn't on Tanya's schedule. But the productivity numbers were wrong.

She hummed her way through the facility's entrance, genuinely fascinated by the logistics of large-scale human resource allocation. The efficiency of proper labor management had always delighted her. The facility's main floor buzzed with activity - hundreds of former officers and soldiers being evaluated, categorized, and reassigned to roles that would best serve the Reich.

"Sir," the facility commander stammered, "We can explain the efficiency drop-"

"Of course you can!" Tanya beamed at him. "Everyone can explain failure. But explanations don't move supplies or dig trenches, do they?" She checked the morning's manifests with bright interest. "Oh my. You've been mixing combat failures with civilian conscripts. Different evaluation metrics entirely. No wonder the numbers are off."

Measure strength and test the mind, 

Sort each asset by its kind. 

Some to tunnels deep below, 

Some to fields that must be sowed.

Her tune shifted to a higher register as she toured the evaluation floor. The processed personnel weren't being properly categorized before assignment. Combat failures with engineering expertise were being sent to agricultural labor, while farmers who'd failed their civilian quotas were being wasted on technical work.

"This is actually fascinating," she told her staff cheerfully. "See how inefficiency multiplies? Poor evaluation leads to poor assignment leads to poor performance leads to-" She paused at a familiar face in one group. "Is that the artillery commander from yesterday's failure? Why isn't he in the mine contingent?"

The facility commander began to explain. His processing order was signed before he finished his first sentence.

"Waste is one thing," she explained to the replacement commander. "Wasting expertise is quite another. Do you know how many mining accidents we prevent by using failed artillery officers? Their understanding of controlled explosions is invaluable!" Her eyes shone with genuine enthusiasm as she detailed the exact survival rate improvements.

Every failure finds its use, 

Every weakness brings excuse, 

To assign them where they'll serve, 

Where their skills match Reich's great need.

The afternoon brought an unexpected complication. A trainload of processed personnel arrived early - an entire division that had failed to hold their position.

"Delightful!" Tanya exclaimed. "A perfect opportunity to optimize our procedures." She hummed thoughtfully, reviewing the manifests. "See, if we evaluate the junior officers first, we can use their command experience to better organize the rest. Proper sorting makes such a difference."

She personally supervised the first batch, ensuring the new commander understood the proper classification protocols. Combat engineers to the tunnel projects, medics to the plague quarantine zones, failed commanders to the mine faces where their lives would motivate proper explosive handling.

"The Reich wastes nothing," she explained happily to her staff as the sorting efficiency rates rose. "Even failure serves a purpose when properly managed."

Sort them well and sort them true, 

Each one where their skills shine through. 

Some may die but all must serve, 

Until they earn their way above.

Evening brought news. Tanya momentarily suppressed her cheerful efficiency as she received it: Reich High Command was dispatching an inspection team. The facility's lowered productivity had been noticed.

"Well that won't do at all," she said, reviewing the day's assignment quotas. "We'll need to optimize placement before they arrive. Authorization for accelerated evaluation protocols." She smiled at the new commander. "Don't worry about processor fatigue. We can process any who slow down and promote from the more efficient evaluators in the candidate pool."

She added a final note to her report:

"Facility efficiency restored. Classifications corrected. Labor allocation optimized. Processing continues."

Tomorrow would bring the inspectors, but Tanya wasn't concerned. The assignments were flowing smoothly now, and the Reich's machinery of necessity would continue its vital work. Her song carried over the facility's steady bureaucratic rhythms as she calculated the next day's quotas.

After all, failure was just an opportunity to find a more suitable role. Whether that role was deadly or merely unpleasant depended entirely on what would best serve the Reich's needs.