The Rejected Alpha's Vengeance

[MBALI]

"Out with it," Mbali said as she looked at Hawi who was staring at her in surprise.

It was almost like what had transpired during the day wasn't what she had expected. Then again, they hadn't exactly expected that the Russels would show up at the door, that too in the human realm.

That only went to those that they had always known where Hawi and Mbali were and they had chosen to keep their distance. That in itself was a thought that on any other day would have been horrifying and yet as Hawi stood there eyeing her best friend, she knew that it wasn't that.

Amina had religiously kept her distance from Mbali while knowing where the girl was.

She could have showed up at any time and yet she had once tried anything. That was the kind of self-control that even Hawi was sure she wouldn't have had if she had known long before that Rukiya was the werewolf queen.

Oh, but it was a trait to be admired and yet even then it still confused the hell out of Hawi, with the decision that Amina had made. It all just didn't make any sense to her.

"I didn't say nothing," Hawi defended. Even though her face was exactly a mirror of what she was feeling, it was covered in pity and worry for the Russel woman who had braved storms to be on this side and especially next to Hawi who was the most unpredictable of them all.

This little visit could have gone wrong in so many ways and yet Amina had still made the voyage. She had to have known that Hawi would have murdered her and her brother and not felt a thing about it, yet she banked on the impossible and succeeded.

The woman was insane, that was the only thing that Hawi could think of right now. There was no better explanation for the kind of shit that was going on at the moment and perhaps that was all Hawi also needed to know that they were in for a long rough ride.

"You have been staring at the portal like I made a wrong decision," Mbali pointed out and Hawi raised her hands in surrender like she was telling Mbali that she wasn't seeing trouble but was only worried for her.

"I didn't say that," Hawi defended again.

"I know. Your face did," Mbali recalled and Hawi sighed. She wanted to tell Mbali that this wasn't the best of decisions, but how the fuck was she supposed to do that when she was not even ready to go and see Rukiya herself?

She had been making excuses about her mate and was acting way too suspicious. She knew Mbali had to have noticed that and it was just a matter of time before the Lycan warrior asked what the fuck was going on.

Would Hawi have an answer for Mbali if that time came then? Would it ever make any sense for the lot of them or was it just a game that would ruin lives and they wouldn't have anything left to lose anyway?

"I… I can't push you, Mbali. I know how you feel and frankly, I understand where you're coming from. Whatever decision you make about Amina, I will always be by your side. I just hope you remember to give yourself a chance at happiness.

"We all went through so much in the past years and we all deserve happiness. Maybe she is baiting you and you are scared of giving in, and maybe she is not genuine with you. But maybe she just wants to be with you and serve you.

"She looked like she could walk into a fire earlier if that was what you wanted her to do. Again, like I said, whatever decision you make, you have my full support," Hawi clarified and Mbali shed this time.

She was scared and rightfully so, and she wasn't ready to embrace a side of life that would ruin her and whatever she believed in. She wanted to be free and yet freedom came with a price that was so complicated it is haunting her even at this moment.

What was she supposed to do then? Even if Hawi supposed all her decisions what the fuck was Mbali supposed to do about her weeping heart?

"I love her," Mbali muffled after a long silence. They had been seated as they waited for the time for their shift to come. It was routine for them, but right now there were a lot of factors that they needed to consider.

"I love her so much it hurts to breathe… But I worry that I am not good enough for her after everything that she has been going through. I don't want to drag her down, and I don't want to be the reason she gets judged.

"I always thought if I accepted her and got mated to her, it would tone down the possible prejudice that came with what I have done over the years. We have made a name for ourselves as the Savasci knights.

"And if she was to be bonded to me, people would look at her differently. They would think she changed to be weak or something. They would think she came to us for refuge and not because we loved each other," Mbali added as she looked at the ceiling that was cracked.

The damn cracks had been here for a while but never once bothered with the house. However, the ceiling itself couldn't be cracked like the way that her heart was. She was feeling a lot and it was not making her feel any better.

All of this wasn't supposed to happen and for the first time, she wished that she had stayed on the battlefield. Now she was blessed with immortality and happiness was something that would forever remain foreign to her.

It wasn't fair to anyone, but what the fuck was she supposed to do then?

"Mbali…" Hawi trailed off in earnest.

She wanted to tell her that this wasn't the way that Amina thought of their bond, that she was overthinking and needed to melt Amina in. However, she also understood the fear of betrayal. Perhaps that was why she stayed silent again.

"Y'know, when people talk it is just a matter of time before everything comes weighing down and there isn't a relief for it as easily as it should get. I have been there before, when my parents died and Freya abandoned us.

"I can't let someone else go through that again. I can't be the reason she has to sit up all night worrying about what tomorrow will be like for her. I can't be the reason she feels suffocated or threatened.

"She is a beautiful butterfly, my cinnamon-scented love. She is everything good and, in another life, I would have claimed her even if she were not mine. But I can't just do that to her. She deserves to be happy and I don't think her happiness lies with me, Hawi.

"I have tried to push her away and each time she comes back no matter what I do. It hurts that this might possibly be the last goodbye with her, but what other choice do I have? She needs to be happy and I don't think I am the best option for her, ever," Mbali defeatedly expressed. Continue your adventure with My Virtual Library Empire

She knew that she was probably being too harsh to herself and Amina, but what other option if she had this time? The woman he loved would forever be looked at as a shadow of what and who she was, and Mbali couldn't control that.

That was why it was easy to push Amina away instead of letting her in. it was hurting them both and would still do for the longest time if they didn't go to a consensus. Then again, the final decisions were in the hands of Mbali who had already pushed Amina away.

This was getting more complicated than she had imagined and it was ripping her heart into pieces again.

"But Mbali… I don't think Amina cares about what people would say. I don't think that is what matters to her the most. Think of all the things she had done even at the ark of limitation by Malika, by me, and even our entire team. She had done everything just to be close to you.

"Remember when she gave you the only blade in existence that could wipe her out and everyone in her family? How was she ready to lay her life for yours if that was what it took to make you happy?

"I know hearing this from me is absurd given how long I have been grieving my Ruru, but Amina cares for you. She loves you, or at least that's what she and her intentions show.

"She is always ready to sacrifice for you, no matter the price to her head. Only a person who loves the other so much would be willing to put their life at stake for the sake of their beloved," Hawi said to Mbali who was listening keenly.

This was a delicate matter for Mbali and it was making her think a lot. This was also not how she had thought her life would be, not after everything they had had to deal with.

"That is what I don't want her to do, Hawi. I don't want her to risk her life for me. I don't want her to hurt me. I don't want her to lose herself and all she believes in just because of me. I wouldn't live with myself if anything happened to her," Mbali sighed.