The Princess's Feathers

A full day has passed since we returned to the Grandfather Tree with Relmoon’s horn, and Kuro is still recovering in Nakino’s den. I should have known just how much pain she was in after the fight — It’s in her nature to conceal these things. Still, Nakino was quickly able to tend to her wounds, and now she’s on the mend. According to the healer, she’ll be ready to leave his den by tomorrow morning.

I can’t wait!

Last night, while enjoying the warmth of Kuro’s wing, we agreed that we should discuss our feelings for each other somewhere outside the Grandfather Tree. Somewhere away from prying ears… somewhere nice and private. Ever since then, I haven’t been able to get her sweet scent out of my head. I’m as light as a feather and more content than I’ve ever felt in my life. Is this what it feels like to be in love? Why did I ever doubt a future with Kuro on my wing?

But for now, I’ve decided to make myself useful by cleaning up Nakino’s stock room. Unsurprisingly, the chaos of the past few weeks has left it in a state of chaos. Dourwart is mixed with ayonell, sassefron is resting on top of dewberry… I don’t even know what happened to all the moon bark! It’s tedious work, and I’m sure there’s other work to be done around the aerie. But I don’t want to stray too far from Kuro. I need to be near her… I won’t be at ease until I can finally confess my feelings for her.

As I pull a wad of blood cress out a crook in the roots, there’s movement at the front of the room.

“Oh!” a familiar voice reacts.

I raise my head to find Nakino standing at the entrance, his talon held in the air, and a surprised look scrawled across his face. He steps inside and says, “I didn’t expect to find you here.”

…Ugh.

I frown and drop the blood cress to the ground. “Well, somebody has to organize this mess. Are the sick still improving?”

Nakino shuffles his wings. “Slowly, yes. Gima is able to raise her head again. She’s still very sick, but it’s an improvement. Compared to the others before her, she should have passed by now. Asha… I think you saved her life.”

So, she’s going to make it. I saved the old girl’s life. The thought raises my spirits, and a meager smile grows across my muzzle.

Once it was clear Kuro needed time to recover, I flew to check the rootspring — the source of the Grandfather Tree’s fresh water and the first of the scenes revealed to me in Gust’s vision. At the time, I didn’t understand why he was showing me something so mundane. But as the importance of the monolith and Sofl’s elixir became clear, I realized there had to be importance there as well. Sure enough, I discovered the carcass of a spikehorn in a feeder pool above the primary one where Kin drink. It had contaminated the water supply, infecting everyone who preferred the taste of spring water.

Clearly, Relmoon placed it there as part of his campaign to implicate me as a harbinger of death. What an utter psychopath.

Meanwhile, Bonello suggested we form search parties to find more of the devil’s matchstick lichen. I think that’s a great idea! There has to be more of it inside the flock’s territory! It seems like a return to normalcy in the flock is just on the horizon, and I couldn’t be happier. I just wish Nakino would leave me alone so I could embrace my mate in peace.

Feeling like I have nothing further to add, I crane my head away from the black Kin and begin searching for more blood cress.

“Asha.”

Nakino takes a step forward, causing me to ruffle in annoyance. His body freezes, and his face twists in frustration; not at me, but at himself.

He exhales sharply and says, “Asha, I need to apologize.”

“I don’t want to hear it,” I growl, flicking my head away.

“Asha, please!”

I stop and give him a rankled look. I can’t believe Nakino’s doing this to me after everything that’s happened! He knows the only exit from this room is past him, and he’s using it to confine me here and talk to him. Kuro’s just outside this room — if I yelled, she would come to rescue me. She would also crush Nakino’s neck. As appealing as that sounds, it wouldn’t be good for either of us. Argh, it seems I have no choice but to listen to him! I growl and narrow my eyes but offer no further resistance.

Nakino takes a measured breath and begins to speak slowly. “I know you and Kuro are going to be mated. I’m…” he trails off and lowers his gaze. “Last night, I told Enyll about what happened between us at Flat Rock. I was convinced he would see things my way and tell me I was right. But that didn’t happen. He was furious at me.”

How could he tell someone…!

…

My frustration quickly subsides. I never told anyone that Nakino cornered me in a den at Flat Rock. Partially out of embarrassment and partially because I didn’t think anyone would believe me (besides Kuro, of course.) But if Enyll heard the story and understood how toxic Nakino was acting, then maybe I was wrong to withhold it.

“We… had a long talk. Just him and I. He convinced me what I did was wrong, and…” Nakino trails off, and his wings droop to the ground. “If you truly don’t want to be near me anymore, then I understand. But if that’s the case, then I need to apologize. What I did to you was terrible, and it was wrong. I’m sorry.”

Feathers quaking, he dips his head and mantles his wings before me.

“That’s nice,” I huff, turning my head away. “But an apology means nothing unless you actually improve yourself.”

“And I will!” he says, eagerly raising his head. “Enyll offered to help me. He’s going to stay in my den and help me take control of my emotions.”

Really? Enyll offered to do that? He clearly has some kind of ulterior motive. His den arrangement at Tall Spires must be truly awful. “Uh-huh. Well, that’s nice of him.”

I turn away to the back wall, desperately hoping Nakino takes the hint. He seems to understand that he did something wrong, but how much should I trust him? What he did to me wasn’t just terrible, it was unconscionable. Should I really give him a second chance?

I suppose… it’s good that he’s seeking help. That is the very least he should do. But I still feel super uncomfortable around Nakino, and I don’t know if I’ll ever stop feeling that way.

After failing to hear another whiny retort, I turn around to see a completely empty stock room. I sigh, fold my wings, and return to my work.

Emergent light tickles the ashen-gray ridges of the Great Valley, a subdued glow of tart orange and chromatic purple on a far-off horizon. Dawn has arrived on the first day of the rest of my life.

As Maki lowers in the western sky, we rise on a cool thermal, turning our gaze towards a sparsely forested island covered in a fresh blanket of snow. Of all the floating respites in my new home, Kuro claims this one is the best for watching sunrises. It seemed like a fitting place to finally discuss our romantic feelings for each other.

We rise above the island and begin circling it, searching for a suitable place to land. Momentarily, my eyes are drawn across the valley and fixate on the distinct profile of a Kin on the wing, most likely on their morning hunt. A plume of steam leaves my muzzle as I call out a friendly greeting.

SKREEEEAK!!!

It echoes across the valley, and soon, a response is heard.

ROOOOOOARRR!!

Briefly, our echoes combine to form a brilliant cacophony of draconic sound. Oh, how I love dragonsong! Fierce and beautiful, it never fails to bring a smile to my face. And should the urge arise, I can always count on a wayward Kin to share the sky with me. Truly, Felra is where I was always meant to be.

Clouds of snow are suffused into the air as we land close to the ledge, disturbing last night’s snowfall. As it returns to the ground, I bound over a snow drift to stand at my mate’s side and rub my face against her neck feathers. I can’t hold myself back any longer. I need to be affectionate with her. She releases an affectionate warble and wraps her wing around me. For a time, we share a tender moment together.

Held in Kuro’s embrace, I loosen my muzzle from her feathers. “There’s something I have to know.”

“What is it?” she asks warmly.

“You had so much time to confess your feelings to me. But even as Couple’s Night approached, you kept your muzzle shut. Why?”

I look up at Kuro, staring into her merlot eyes. She smirks, then flicks her eyes to the ground. Recognizing her intent, I follow Kuro as she lowers herself to the ground and settles against the snow. I cozy up beside her, feeling warmed by her presence.

“I was afraid,” she explains, gazing out across the valley. “I was afraid of finding out there was some Lemur boy waiting for you in the Farlands. I was afraid you were going to tell me girls can’t be mated with other girls…”

“Asha… I had to know if you felt the same way I did. And I didn’t want to think about what would happen if you didn’t.”

I smile and rub my wing against her. “I do.”

Kuro chitters, smiling brighter than the sun at day’s crest. She looks so overcome with happiness that she could start weeping. We laugh and nuzzle our heads together.

“Is that why you hated Couple’s Night?” I ask, pulling away from her. “And why you never took a mate after Relmoon?”

Kuro tilts her head. “What do you mean?”

“Kuro, it’s so obvious. You never took a mate because you don’t feel for drakons. In the Farlands, we’d call you a ‘lesbian’.”

Kuro smirks as understanding washes over her. She shakes her head and says, “You’re wrong, Asha. I don’t dislike drakons.” As she stops speaking, a wry smile crosses her muzzle. “I hate them.”

My crest flattens. “…Really?”

“Men are disgusting,” her body winces as if she sampled rotten prey. “They’re arrogant, smell bad, and look terrible. Whenever I’m around them, I feel so…”

Her brow furrows, and she looks genuinely upset. Eventually, she gazes back at me, studies my face, and her expression softens.

“Asha?” she asks. “What’s wrong?”

I hesitate to respond. “Oh, Kuro… I’ve, um. I’ve never met anyone who dislikes men as much as you do.”

Kuro’s head tilts a little. I think she was expecting me to agree with her.

“I don’t think I have feelings for drakons, either… but I’ve known plenty of decent men in my life. Calypso was loyal, strong, and honorable. I can’t imagine him ever doing something wrong to a woman. And Duncan was good, too! I never got to know him personally, but he certainly wasn’t a scumbag.”

I’ve certainly noticed Kuro’s sour behavior around drakons, regardless of who it is. And it’s not like I’m immune to the same urges. But hating all of them unconditionally? I can’t imagine myself ever feeling that way, even if I had a vindicative ex who hated my guts. Drakons are fine… I just don’t want to be intimate with one. Or, really, be around them very often. I very much prefer the company of other drakainas.

A wind blows past us, and Kuro’s eyes drift away from me. I think she realizes this isn’t normal behavior. I hope she doesn’t think I’m disappointed! I think I understand her feelings, especially after all the trauma that occurred in her relationship with Relmoon. I won’t scorn her for it. I want to help her move past these feelings and have a more healthy relationship with the drakons in the flock. She’ll be happier that way, and more respected!

But we can talk about that some other time. For now, I decide to change the subject. “Have you always felt this way? About your feelings for other drakainas?”

Across the valley, golden shafts of light are causing the clouds to shimmer. It won’t be long before the sun pokes above the ridges and bathes the valley in morning light.

Kuro turns back to me, and her face softens. “Since I was a fledge. But back then, I was in denial. I thought I was broken for not liking drakons. I thought… if I forced myself to mate with a drakon and whelp a brood, then I’d learn how to be normal.”

Gosh, poor Kuro. She must have tried so hard to fit in as a fledge. I loosen my wings and say, “So, you chose Relmoon.”

Kuro pauses as another breeze blows past us. She looks remorseful, the most penitent I’ve ever seen her. “There are few Kin in the flock as fierce as I am, and Relmoon was one of them. We loved to spar with each other, and he was always chasing after me for more. So, when he finally approached me about being mated, he seemed like the right choice. At the time, I didn’t have feelings for him, but…” she pauses, and her talons curl inwards, “I thought if I gave him a chance, then I could learn to love him.”

Another pause. The air is still, but I can feel the tension in her feathers.

I scoot a little closer to Kuro. “You pretended to like him and hoped for the best. But your feelings never blossomed.”

Kuro frowns, and looks away from me. “He was insistent on starting a family. It was all he could talk about as the leaves began to change. ‘Hatchlings by greenwing,’ he told me every morning as the sun rose. And when the sun lowered, all he wanted to do was mate.”

Every time Relmoon did something questionable, he cited his family as the justification. When he argued I should be expelled from the flock, it was because his fledges were starving. When he announced his intention to form a new flock, he claimed he would do anything to protect his family. It was the crux of his deplorability.

Kuro continues, “I felt trapped. It seemed like there was no way to escape our bond. So… I began to lash out at him. I didn’t want to, but… I didn’t know what else to do. I had to get away from Relmoon, even if it meant destroying my reputation in the flock.”

Kuro has a reputation for being a good fighter, but little else. Was she more respected in the past? Most Kin look down on her now, and this must be why. She ruined her image on purpose to get away from Relmoon.

“At first, Relmoon was worried about me. But then… something changed. It was like he used the Gift of Regression and never stopped. He became intolerable — always in a foul mood, always trying to provoke me into a fight. He told me I was being cruel to him on purpose and that he was the victim. Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I gave him what he wanted. My grandmother had to separate us before we could kill each other. From that day forward, he went out of his way to antagonize me specifically. He flew to every aerie and told anyone who would listen that I was the worst Dragon in the flock. All he cared about was making my life miserable.”

…Perhaps I was wrong.

I thought Relmoon’s lodestar was his family, but that’s only half the story. The truth is that Relmoon was driven by his hatred for Kuro.

Every action he took was done solely to make her life miserable. He mended his relationship with Sardi so he could take a mate and claim to be the more loyal member of the flock. He lied about the winds at Archer’s Landing to instigate a fight between Kuro and I. Frustrated, he tried to kill me when he foresaw Kuro and I becoming mates. And when all else failed, he tried to form a brand new flock so that he could exact his revenge with authority.

I’ll never forget the look on Relmoon’s face as he was exiled from the flock. That night, as he turned to leave the clearing, his baleful gaze passed over me. All of that wasted breath to give a speech about how awful I was, but where did his scorn truly lie? It was with Kuro. He stared at Kuro as he was leaving. He knew how much she longed to be with me, so he sent the message that he would pursue the one she loved. That was what drove Relmoon to madness.

What a wretched, pitiable Dragon. I’ll savor the taste of his flesh for as long as I live.

A Dragon’s cry echoes off the mountains, catching my attention. “What happened after Relmoon?”

Kuro ruffles and joins me in gazing across the valley. “I had some encounters with other drakainas, but nothing serious. Most of them were already mated, and those who weren’t were only interested in mating with drakons. I’m sure you’ve noticed, but Kin look forward to raising a brood. It’s beneficial to have one when you become an elder.”

Family bonds are just as important in the flock as they are in the Farlands, perhaps even more so. As me and Kuro age, we’ll always be the ones clearing snow from our den in frostwing. Nobody will hunt for us as our wings grow tired and our flights become labored. Eventually, we’ll have to retire to one of the aeries and pass on our den to someone new.

“I was gliding through life, allowing turbulent winds to toss me around,” she pauses, and a smile grows across her muzzle. “Then, one day, you showed up.”

I can’t help but loosen a smile of my own. It brings me so much joy knowing what happens next.

“I’d never seen someone with a plumage like yours. And when you opened your eyes and smiled at me… it was like the sun emerging on a cloudy day.”

I look away, overcome with joyous emotion. Oh, gosh! She’s going to pour her heart out for me! I can’t believe a cute girl loves me!!

“Drakons make me frustrated and angry… but when I’m around drakaina, everything feels right. And when I’m around you,” Kuro leans in and nuzzles her head against my own, “All my frustrations and anxieties disappear. Asha, you bring out the best of me in a way nobody else can!”

As I stare into Kuro’s rosy eyes, a familiar memory resurfaces; this isn’t the first time someone has poured their heart out for me. Last time it was on Couple’s Night, when Nakino told me how much I meant to him. Didn’t he say something similar? About how I bring out the best in him?

How quaint. I may have had a similar effect on Nakino, but clearly, I didn’t bring out his best. When our faux relationship was strained, it brought out the very worst. Conversely, Kuro had every chance in the world to make things ugly. Our arguments at Archer’s Landing. Couple’s Night. My initial rejection of her. The only time things became sour was when it was my fault. When Kuro says I bring out the best in her, she means it!

“Is that why you were so patient with me?” I ask, leaning my head in.

It takes her a moment to nod. “That’s right. I knew you had your family and your Kingdom waiting for you in the Farlands. I couldn’t possibly ask you to stay in Felra, but…”

Kuro trails off, and her face begins to contort. She’s beginning to cry!

Her head lowers, and the tears begin to flow. “If I had lost you, then… I don’t know what I would have done. I don’t think I would have ever found a mate in the flock. Asha, you were conflicted for so long, but I never gave up hope. I told myself, ‘I’ll only stop when she tells me no.’ And Asha, you…!”

Kuro can’t hold it back any longer. She wraps her head around my neck and begins weeping tears of joy. I knew this was coming, yet I still can’t believe mighty Kuro is capable of being so vulnerable. As she wails, I twist my head around and begin to preen her crest, trying as best as I can to comfort her. “You did everything right,” I whisper, causing her to ease up and stare into my eyes. “You couldn’t have been any sweeter to me, Kuro. I love you so much!”

At that, she begins wailing anew, broadcasting her languid cries across the valley. I return to preening her crest, and a curious realization crosses my mind.

When I landed in Felra, I had no concept of what a romantic relationship was like. So when Kuro tried to court me, I was utterly clueless. On Couple’s Night, I was forced to confront the prospect of love with a drakon who seemed equally as confused as I was. It never worked out between me and Nakino, but… I don’t think I’d be here right now if it weren’t for him. How was I supposed to understand what a good relationship was without first experiencing a bad one?

I’ve learned so much as a Lithan. I can’t believe I’ve made it this far. I owe everything to her.

“Kuro?” I whisper softly into her ear.

She takes a moment to stop crying, gathers her composure, and unwraps her neck from my own. As the dawn light grows stronger, our eyes lock together.

“Kuro, I…”

I stare into her gentle eyes, and my heart begins to flutter. That familiar, warm sensation. But the longer I stare, the more pronounced it becomes. Something wells up inside me, and I find myself drawn to Kuro’s face. The face I’ll know for the rest of my life, the one that’s so, so dear to me.

Through closed eyes, I feel the first rays of sunlight cast across the far mountain peaks. Our muzzles join together as the valley is bathed in light.

It feels… perfect.

From the warmth on my face to the warmth from Kuro to the warmth inside my heart. Everything in the world is exactly where it should belong.

As we pull away, I find myself overcome with happiness. I’ve waited my entire life for Kuro, and finally, we’ll be together. “Please,” I say, resting my head against her neck. “Don’t ever leave my side.”

She draws her wing across me and nuzzles my head with an affectionate warble. “I won’t. I promise.”

When I think about it, Kuro and I are more alike than I could have ever imagined. I was ostracized by those outside of my family for being a menace. Kuro is considered one of the most intimidating Dragons in the flock. We’re misunderstood misfits that nobody particularly liked, yet we’re perfect for each other.

How did all of this happen? The improbability of our relationship is mind-numbing. I had to transform into a Lithan, fly to the opposite side of the moon, become a member of a flock of Dragons I didn’t even know existed and survive the assault of a deranged Dragon to find the love of my life in a society with no same-sex couples. If any one of those steps had failed… for a fleeting moment, I try to imagine my life without Kuro. The thought causes me to weep gently into her feathers.

“Kuro? I love you.”

With the sun rising in the eastern sky, I bask in the warmth of my mate. The memories of my past life — my responsibilities and my family — begin to dissolve in my mind. The small voice that compelled me to protect them is silenced forever.

I don’t care,

I don’t care,

I don’t care.

I’ll turn my back on everything I’ve ever known.

I’ll abandon every moral I’ve ever professed to believe in.

I’ll leave them all behind just to spend one more day with her.

I’m so happy,

I’m so happy,

I’m so happy…