The New Lincoln Loud

Although I was excited to record my first song today, I had to continue with my normal routine until I finished helping the twins with their homework.

Surprisingly, with the help I had given them over the past few days, they were now starting to need less and less of my help.

As I helped them catch up on topics I hadn't understood, now that I knew them, it was much easier to teach them their homework since I had the foundation in place to learn the more advanced topics.

Just like the other days, when I finished teaching the twins their homework, I picked up my guitar and began to tune it.

I had already copyrighted my song yesterday, which gives me the right to use the song from today without any worries.

From the $140 I had saved, I managed to sell enough artwork to raise $485, and I had limited myself to only 2 drawings per day, as the number of customers queuing up was increasing every day.

I even increased the price of the drawings, but people were still coming in, especially when they saw that my art was getting better and better as my skill increased and I got used to the style of drawing I was usually asked to do.

Of the $485 I had saved, I had to spend $130 to get the copyright for the song I was going to sing.

Thinking about how much money I could potentially make from the video of this song, this was clearly a waste of money, but my focus was on future earnings from playing shows.

So, plugging the microphone into my laptop, I finally started strumming the guitar, feeling the rhythm of the song I wanted to play.

I didn't choose this song because it was one of the band's most successful songs, nor because of the millions, almost billions of views it got, but the song that resonated with me in the difficult moments of my former life,

🎼🎶🎤

I'm tired of being what you want me to beFeeling so faithless, lost under the surfaceI don't know what you're expecting of mePut under the pressure of walking in your shoesEvery step that I take is another mistake to you

🎼🎶🎤(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)I've become so numb, I can't feel you thereBecome so tired, so much more awareI'm becoming this, all I want to doIs be more like me and be less like youCan't you see that you're smothering me?Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control'Cause everything that you thought I would beHas fallen apart right in front of youEvery step that I take is another mistake to you(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)And every second I waste is more than I can takeI've become so numb, I can't feel you there

🎼🎶🎤Become so tired, so much more awareI'm becoming this, all I want to doIs be more like me and be less like youAnd I knowI may end up failing tooBut I know

🎼🎶🎤

(in future songs I will put people's reactions in the middle of the song, but since it was Lincoln's first song I wanted it to be uninterrupted).

When I finally finished the chorus of the song, I couldn't help it and my eyes watered slightly as I remembered my past life,

I wanted my first song to be something more upbeat, even a song about something about love, since I couldn't relate to it and could remain impartial, but something in me wanted at least my first song to be something relevant to me.

I had no idea where this desire to sing that song came from, but I didn't mind indulging him, until I finished singing, I could hear the sound of the door slowly opening.

Just like me, there was a tearful face on the other side of the door, and I could understand why there was something in me that wanted him to sing this song,

this was old Lincoln, he probably understood the words to this song and knew that there was someone in the house that really needed a song like this.

And on the other side of the door was Lori, her eyes watery like mine, trying to give me a look of hatred, but failing miserably.

Without a word, she turns around and runs to her room, not having the slightest idea how to face me at this point.

[New skill unlocked]

------------------Lori's Pov 5 minutes ago---------------------

I think it's been 5 days since I've felt how Lincoln has changed.

Before he was just a weird kid who stayed in his room all day watching those cartoons and his comics, but now he was different....

did you hear daddy, every day he wakes up with my dad to have breakfast with him, he goes to exercise twice a day...damn, I didn't even like to exercise and he's that size and he does it twice a day?

although I have to admit that his workouts are paying off.

At first I didn't notice anything different, but today I was surprised when I saw the difference between how he looks and a picture we have on the wall.

While in the photo he has unkempt hair, messy clothes, and an awkward expression on his face, the current Lincoln has a much better haircut and speaks with more confidence and must be about 2 inches taller!

Sure he's still skinny, but you can start to see the muscles in his arms.

but what surprised me even more was how he was acting with mom and Lana.

Apparently Lincoln has been helping Lana with her homework for the past 5 days, even having the other twin join in.

And it looks like Lana can do almost everything on her own!

Everyone in the house had already tried to help Lana with her homework including me, but they all gave up quickly, how did Lincoln do it?

That's what I was thinking too with the way he's acting towards my mother, because every time she was about to freak out on him, the same way she freaks out on me, he somehow manages to calm her down and everything is fine.

That hurricane she throws at me when I do something she doesn't like, that never happens to her.

'Is he really the favorite?' I sighed as I thought about the difference between the way he treats us.

At that moment I unconsciously stood in front of Lincoln's room, who if it were a normal day would be reading one of his comics while wearing headphones at full volume.

He watches those cartoons again?' I asked myself amused.

With my curiosity getting the better of me, I decided to peek in Lincoln's door.

To my surprise, the sound of a guitar sounded from inside the room.

At first I thought he was just practicing some notes, since I saw him playing a song to Lana,

Imagine my surprise when I found out he could play the guitar,

I didn't even know I had a guitar!

but I was a little embarrassed to ask and kept exchanging messages with my schoolmates and ignoring him.

At first I thought Lincoln didn't even know how to play a guitar and was only influenced by Luna, right? as I had never seen him play an instrument.

But I was wrong.

Seriously, the music I heard from inside the room sounded really good, even without knowing anything about guitars, I knew that what I was doing sounded really difficult, a riff that only someone with experience could play, even luna would have to practice it a couple of times... but what surprised me was when he started singing.

but what surprised me was when he started singing.

🎼🎶🎤

"I'm exhausted, playing the role you expect."

🎼🎶🎤

Hearing him sing that line, I was initially surprised, as his voice totally changed from Lincoln's normally, his singing was good, but I felt it was nothing special.

🎼🎶🎤

"Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface..."

🎼🎶🎤

Listening to the next part, I kept paying attention to her voice, as the parts with deep thoughts didn't matter to me, but the next line made me uncomfortable.

🎼🎶🎤

"I don't know what you're expecting of me..."

"Put me under the pressure of walking in your shoes." 

🎼🎶🎤

when I heard that last line, I finally understood what the song was talking about, and damn, that shit hit hard....

in my mind i thought about my mother, always trying to make me be the perfect girl, make me the eldest daughter that no one can criticize.....

🎼🎶🎤

"Every step I take is another mistake for you..."

🎼🎶🎤

every word made me think again about my mother, who believed that since I didn't do it like she would do it, then I had done it wrong, it really felt like every step I took was a mistake....

Who sang that song, how I had never heard it before!!! if I knew about it before I would have it in my headphones all the time, especially when I was with her.....

🎼🎶🎤

"I've become so numb, I can't feel you there

I become so tired, so much more aware

I'm becoming this, all I want to do

Is be more like me and be less like you....

🎼🎶🎤

That chorus...

This was made by him, wasn't it?

haha...

Since when did my little brother have such a talent for music, and no one in this house knew it, when Luna realizes it she will be very happy.

But... How did he write this song? He doesn't suffer what I do in this house.

Everything he did was always ignored, me? everything I did was always criticized to the end.

even when I thought I was doing it right, it was like I was wrong in the end and, in his opinion, I was wrong?

WAIT!

what if he wrote that song for me?

If it wasn't for me, at least it was for me, right? it could only be that!

Is he really the only one who understands me in this house?

but he never did anything to try to help me?

I didn't realize at what point tears started to fall from my eyes, but I just ignored it and continued listening to the song from behind the door.

🎼🎶🎤

"You were just like me, with someone disappointed in you...."

🎼🎶🎤

when I heard that part, I remembered the piano performance he forced me to go to when I was younger, even though I didn't like it I was too young to understand that I wasn't doing it because I liked it, it was to make his dream come true!

🎼🎶🎤

"lost in silence where emotions flare The commercial truth of lies on this scripted night."

🎼🎶🎤

Damn Lincoln...fuck, how long have you watched me go through this alone and did nothing!!!!

I'm glad someone finally noticed something about me, but to write such profound lyrics, you had to have seen me suffer for a long time right?

Are you using me as a guinea pig for your music?

Suddenly as I was crying and leaning against the door, apparently the door wasn't locked and it opened....

Looking at Lincoln, who was also crying inside the room, a part of me was happy, but I was still angry, so I turned around and ran to my room back, the only place I had some peace in this house, when Leni wasn't around.

As I ran to my room, I could see my mother coming up the stairs with a basket of laundry.

I don't even know if he saw me cry, but I did my best to hide it as I ran to my room faster and closed the door.

I threw myself on my bed in irritation.

I don't know what's going on...

my chest hurts so much...

Author note:

i'm trying to copy Claire and Haley's relationship from modern family in Lori and Rita, i hope i'm doing well,

I will upload another chapter tomorrow at the same time.