The Miracle Clinic

“What do we want?” A student standing on a table yells.

“The muffins!” A crowd of students chant.

“When do we want it?”

“The muffins!”

The chanting of the students echoes throughout Starlight High’s cafeteria as Ronnie tries to snake his way through all the pandemonium. He passes by Zesti Champion, the only teacher on lunch duty that day, who is being yelled at by several angry teens.

“Where are they?!” A student yells.

“I don’t know, just please sit down!” Zesti tries to yell, “We’re getting a shipment of them in 30 minutes!”

“30 minutes?! But our lunch period will be over by then!” A student shouts.

Ronnie continues onward and sees a person sobbing hysterically on the ground.

“THEY’RE GONE!!!” the student wails.

Ronnie continues walking forward and sees Alex Smith contemplating whether or not X Locke should be placed into the nearby trash can.

Finally, Ronnie manages to spot a table with a student sitting there who isn’t completely insane.

As Ronnie sits down across from them, he sees that it’s none other than Elizabeth Moore.

“Yo Eli,” Ronnie asks as he leans towards her, “do you know what the fuck is going on?”

Startled, Elizabeth responds, “Oh- uh- I don’t know, I think they're out of some muffins or something. Also d-do you mind just calling me Elizabeth?”

“Oh yeah sure, sorry about that Elizabeth,” Ronnie replies as he takes out his paper bag lunch, “Man, I haven’t had school cafeteria food in years. Is it really that good?”

“That ‘good’?” someone remarks.

Elizabeth & Ronnie turn to see that standing next to them is a short chubby freshman with white skin, gelled-up dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, and a ton of freckles. He’s also wearing a red t-shirt, blue jeans, and red sandals.

“Those muffins aren’t just good,” the freshman remarks, “They’re great!”

Elizabeth is confused about who this is but Ronnie’s eyes flicker with recognition.

“Oh, Hamster! How’s it going, man?” Ronnie remarks, “I didn’t know you were in this lunch period.”

“Hey Ronnie,” Harry ‘Hamster’ Martin sighs, “Sorry for that outburst earlier, I just haven’t been the same since they got rid of the muffins.”

“Didn’t that just happen today?” Elizabeth questions.

“Yeah,” Hamster sighs, “I already know I’ll never be the same ever again.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll have it tomorrow,” Ronnie reassures Hamster before turning his attention back to Elizabeth, “He’s one of my classmates, Hamster.”

“Hamster?” Elizabeth questions.

“Yeah, everyone calls him that since he’s always with Bennet.”

“Who’s Bennet?” Elizabeth asks.

Before Ronnie can respond, the two hear some squeaking coming from Hamster's head, Elizabeth looks closely at Hamster before realizing that a pet hamster is resting in Hamster's hair.

"That's Bennet," Ronnie states, "I bet he's trying to cheer up Hamster since they don't have any more muffins, aren't you Bennet?"

Bennet nods.

“Well glad to see you still have your head on straight Bennet, though I guess that’s because hamsters can’t eat those muffins…I think,” Ronnie ponders.

"SOME MUFFIN?!" Hamster roars before directing his fury to Ronnie, "DUDE, THOSE MUFFINS ARE THE SOLE REASON 95% OF THE STUDENT BODY SHOW UP TO SCHOOL ON TUESDAYS!"

"Tuesdays?" Ronnie asks.

"YES, TUESDAYS!" Hamster begins to rant while Elizabeth just listens awkwardly, "As most of us know, every teacher tends to put their most boring lectures on Tuesdays, so to convince us to show up to school, that day they serve the best muffins you've ever had! They have the perfect amount of cinnamon, the purest blueberries one could find, and it's all cooked to perfection at 400 degrees for us to enjoy!"

"Where did you get all this information?" Ronnie asks amused.

"Oh, I got it from this book," Hamster states before handing Ronnie & Elizabeth a book named '101 Tips & Tricks To Survive Life In Starlight High 2013 Edition by X Locke'.

Elizabeth & Ronnie glance over to X who is still getting yelled at by Alex who is shoving the book in his face.

"How many people bought that book?" Elizabeth asks.

"According to X, 99% of the student body," Hamster replies while Bennet nods along.

"Well yeah of course X would say that, he's the one trying to convince you to buy the stupid thing," Ronnie states.

"Regardless of if the book is true, one thing's for certain," Hamster begins to say as he & Bennet start to cry, "My life has lost all meaning!"

As Hamster continues to cry, Ronnie tries to pat his back but that's when Hamster stands up and turns to Elizabeth & Ronnie with an enthusiasm they haven't seen from him in a while.

"You're a part of that club, The Miracle Clinic, right?! You gotta give us a miracle and make the muffins return to all of us!" Hamster begs while Bennet prays.

"I don't know man, we're trying to enjoy our lunch," Ronnie says before looking at Hamster & Bennet the hamster who are both doing their best puppy dog eyes. After a very long pause, Ronnie caves before saying, "Alright, we'll do our best to find those muffins."

"Really?! Thanks so much, you guys really are miracle workers!" Hamster shouts.

"Uh...yeah, definitely," Elizabeth says before whispering to Ronnie, "you have any idea where to start looking?"

Ronnie whispers back by saying, "No, I've got no fucking clue."

As the two look for possible leads, they notice X is still being talked to by Alex.

“Hey bub you listen to me!” Alex says, “I know that you know that I know that you know where those muffins are! So fess up!”

X Locke just looks at Alex unamused. However, after spotting Ronnie & Elizabeth, a delightful demeanor appears on him.

“Ronnie, Eli, good to see you!” X Locke says as he reaches in for a hug.

“Don’t ignore me!” Alex yells.

After X hugs the two uncomfortable freshmen, X Locke begins his spiel, “Now I know you all must have heard about my book by now, right? How many copies do you want? Three? Five? Seventeen?”

“None,” Ronnie answers bluntly, “How’d you even manage to make a book?”

“Sorry but I’m not telling you squat about that,” X says, “A good New York Times Best Selling Author always keeps his secrets close to heart.”

“I think you’re talking about magicians,” Ronnie says before looking at Alex, “What’s got you up in a twist?”

“Well he, told me his damn book says how to make those blueberry muffins,” Alex rages, “And they’re not in there!”

“Oh I’m sorry, but they’re in the deluxe edition,” X says as he takes out a book with a sparkling cover, “You’ll need to pay for it as well.”

“WHY YOU DIRTY SCAMMER!” Alex hisses as he rolls up his sleeves.

However before he can hit X, Elizabeth & Ronnie get in the way of him.

“Woah dude the last thing we need in here is a fight,” Ronnie remarks.

Hearing that Alex calms down a bit before he shoves his copy of X’s book into Ronnie’s hands.

“Fine, but you can take this,” Alex remarks as he storms off, “I need to catch some fresh air.”

Confused as to what to do with the book, Ronnie just keeps it in his hands.

“This thing is heavy,” Ronnie remarks, “How many pages are in this thing?”

“A ton,” X remarks, “Hope you enjoy the read, you don’t know when the tips in there can come in handy.”

“Thanks but I don’t think I’d have the time to read this,” Ronnie says, “And it’s way too loud in here.”

“Well if you need to find some peace and quiet, nobody’s in the kitchen besides that lunch intern,” X remarks.

“Wait,” Elizabeth ponders, “Why didn’t we think of that before?”

“Reading his book?” Ronnie remarks.

“No, checking the kitchen!” Elizabeth responds.

“Oh.”

The two glance over to see that the kitchen side of the cafeteria has been closed. Several garage doors block their way in. However, near the corner of the cafeteria is a regular door.

“Thanks X, we’ll see you around!” Ronnie yells as he and Elizabeth make their way to the door.

Now that they’re in front of it, Elizabeth starts rummaging through her backpack.

“What are you looking for?” Ronnie asks.

“Something wooden I can use like a ruler,” Elizabeth responds.

“For what?”

“To turn into a key or something that can unlock the door,” Elizabeth says before adding, “They taught us that in the basket weaving club I took.”

"That's...I don’t know whether to be impressed or concerned," Ronnie says as he grabs the door handle, “But let’s see if it’s actually locked first.”

Ronnie twists the handle and sure enough, the door opens.

“Oh,” Elizabeth flushes red in embarrassment as she puts away the wooden ruler she just took out of her bag.

As the two enter the kitchen, they see that all of the lights have been turned off. Curious, Ronnie flips on one of the light switches causing the blinding LED light to blink to life.

As the two teens’ eyes adjust to the light, both of them then gasp as they see something shocking on the table.

“How is this here?!” Ronnie asks.

See You Next Chapter!~