The Mimic in Monsterland

I laid on the frozen forest floor, contemplating how I got myself in my current predicament. Honestly, I was really looking for someone to blame. Was it Terrence who sent me to this stupid world? Or maybe the driver of that mail truck that hit me, and in turn, started this whole mess. Hell, maybe it was me, for even deciding to wake up that morning.

Nah, it wasn’t any of these. It was that damn old man. He lulled me into a false sense of security these last couple of months. Len, the man who went from a kind, funny old mentor to an obstinate drill instructor. Not that he was even around to bitch at.

Ever since that fight with the gecko snake-tongued monster, each day has been a constant fight with a different creature.

The very next morning a blue-green furred goat with three horns of varying sizes rampaged around and climbed up to my attempted flower garden. It munched on all the seeds. I killed it quickly with Ursa mode. It wasn’t much of a fight; it was barely larger than regular goats and while the horns sure added a layer of malice. They didn’t have magic missiles or any other noticeable powers. My strength in Ursa mode was plenty to pick up and toss the goat around. Which, I did, numerous times. Once I saw it had eaten my seeds things got a smidge heated.

I may have thrown it off the entrance of the cave a lot. It made an awful cry as it lay broken on the ground. Which, attracted three of its buddies. Who did not seem at all happy about their friend’s gruesome end.

I took a jab or five from the goats but I dispatched them easily enough. Nothing on the level of the gecko or the tanther. I mused what tier they would have been classified as during my now daily trip to the monster corpse pile. Len explained the different strength tiers they gave to monsters during my training. From my understanding, it was loosely based on what powers they can use and how destructive they are.

For example, the lowest tiers, 1 and 2, are mostly normal animals. The ever delectable squirrel is a tier 1, it’s not gonna do much damage. Same with fish. Next step up and we have a jackanape, the loud tree monkeys. Tier 2s by themselves. Without the song ability, they aren’t much stronger than your average monkey back on earth. Who are deceptively strong might I add. Why do I know that? A certain elderly man with a penchant for making multiple families dropped me in the monkey enclosure at the local zoo as a kid. But that’s a different story. None of the monkeys got shot.

Gremlins were considered tier 3s because of their use of tactics and weapons. Generally, tier 3s are just beefed up animals, like the goat just now. Len said they are the lowest-tiered bipeds. Which made me wonder what other two-legged monsters were out there. And why they are so strong.

Tier 4 is when the creatures begin to get a little fantastical. This is when monsters start getting supernatural powers or some elemental affinity. Take my magical meat supply, the moose. Normal animal + magical quality = tier 4.

It was from here where the lines blur from tier to tier. Like tier 5 is my guess on the tanther and gecko. Both had strong and debilitating powers, but the tanther still felt stronger to me. So maybe the gecko is a high 4 and the tanther a low 5. Maybe they're both 4s. I shook my head. "Nah the cat's a tier 5." Made the accomplishment feel better.

"Whatever makes you feel better bub." Tutor responded.

Although it was kind of confusing, I appreciated Kniyas even having some sort of power grading system. What I didn’t appreciate was having no way to identify what tier a monster was without a guide or prior knowledge. Still hoping an identification ability falls in my lap.

I finished offloading three of the goat bodies on the monster pile. The last one was going to be lunch. After, I plant some more seeds. With an enclosure this time. “Gonna need more vines.”

No monster bothered me the next morning which meant I could get some training in. A nice change of pace. Only to come back to my camp being ransacked by a passing group of pale white gremlins. “Does their skin change with the seasons?” I tilted my head. “Or is it a different batch?” One heard my musings and screeched alerting his squad. I wasn’t worried, these creatures were beneath me. I sliced the whole group in a matter of minutes in Tigris form and added more bodies to the corpse pile.

I woke up the next morning to the most peculiar cooing sound. It was soft and honestly pretty soothing. Made me want to extend my slumber. I was tired from making a fence for my flowers and wanted to laze more. Tutor called me dumb and said I should check it out.

The coos reminded me of pigeons. I walked out of the cave and looked for some plumpy little birds. Bet they'll taste great. Nothing was in the camp, but the cooing continued. Naturally, I checked my seeds first. I made the fencing out six-foot tall logs with the handy dandy roc feather and a veritable buttload of vines. Probably six-foot, no measuring tools out here aside from my wingspan. Pro-tip: the length of your arms stretched out is approximately the same as your height. I wonder if that's true for other races. Crap.

Pro-tip revised: the length of your arms stretched out is approximately the same as your height, if you are human.

The fencing appeared untampered, but another coo sounded out. I searched around for its source but kept coming back to the same place. The seeds. Another coo went off, coming from directly underneath the buried seeds.

After hopping into the barricade, I looked down at the pile of unevenly tilled soil, odd considering gramps beat proper tilling into me as a child. Before I could examine it further, the soil shifted. It writhed as if something was just below the surface.

“Great, looks like I have a mole problem.” Another coo came from the shifting dirt. “A cooing mole problem?” I said with uncertainty.

Tutor just had to give her sarcastic two cents. ”Cuz that’s the weirdest thing we’ve seen.”

Once again ignoring the commentary, I decided I would try to catch the little bugger. I wonder what it will taste like.

I shoved my hand down into the dirt and grabbed a hold of the mole’s warm body. It's hairless, fleshy, and moist(?) body. I yanked with as much might as I could muster before it could get away. My hand slipped halfway through and I fell on my ass. I got back up in a rush hoping I didn’t miss the opportunity to catch it.

But there was no rodent to be found, just a meaty pink tentacle wriggled and squirmed around. It was about a foot and a half long. Merely looking at the thing disturbed me in a way I can’t quite describe. “Maybe it’s a worm,” Tutor said. “I don’t think so. There aren’t any ridges or bumps on it. It's just a solid pink… thing.” Its wiggling never once slowed down while we examined it.

“Ooo Ooo. I’ve been on the internet long enough to know where…” but I cut her off before she could finish.

“Stop, you’re disgusting,” I said.

“Quit being a pussy and yank on it. It ruined the flowers.”

“Ugh. Did you have to say it like that?”

“Pull it out already, you baby.”

Obeying the crude voice in my head, I pulled on the disgustingly warm flesh. The cooing sound intensified, turning into an alarmed shrill. My hand kept slipping on it and I couldn't grip it well.

“I didn’t tell you to rub the knob,” Tutor said, barely hiding a giggle whilst speaking.

“Will you quit it!” I said, through gritted teeth. I huffed and puffed to no avail. That is until another one of the tentacles pierced through the ground. Then another, and another. About twelve pink wiggling tentacles were vibrating around and cooing. The once soothing sound now sent chills down to my very core.

“Nope, no, not doing this. I’m getting the sword. Screw whatever the hell it is.” I jumped down and grabbed my sword and climbed back up. Without a second thought, I swung at the first tentacle with the best golf stroke I could manage.

The sword cut right through without any issue. Blood geysered out of the stump while the rest of the tentacles wriggled with a whole new fervor. They shifted and moved in unison, swaying back and forth, making their way out of the ground.

I prepared myself for another swing. Before I could, the tentacles moved enough dirt and revealed where they grew from. A disc sharing its color rose out of the dirt. A disc with two holes that reminded me of nostrils.

Looks like I was right with my first assumption. A huge mole stuck its head out of the ground, mouth agape, coming straight for me. I hopped up and out of my fenced garden. The mole's dark gray body crashed out of the earth, destroying my hard work.

It was a gargantuan version of those moles that have the weird tentacle noses. A very mad one at that. It thrashed about, making broad sweeping attacks and nipping at the air. But none of the attacks came even remotely close to hitting me. I was a solid 10 feet away from it. Best guess, it’s vision must be poor, if existent. I tried looking for the monster’s eyes, but it's panicked flailing made it difficult.

I looked at the hole it popped out of. Something wasn’t adding up. I planted the seeds directly above the ceiling of my cave, my hollow cave. This thing was a good 15 feet long and large. There was maybe 8 feet between the ceiling of the cave and the garden. How the hell did that work? How didn’t it get there?

Before I could put much more thought into the absurd conundrum, it must have caught my scent. Its wiggling nose tentacles pointed my way while its mass lumbered my way. It was pretty slow. I slashed at its bright pink nose. Bright colors mean weak point, right?

I scored the hit, its nose recoiling and bleeding. It swiped at my location but I moved from there to its side where I was going from a stab. Its head shifted towards me.

Right as my blade was about to pierce its hide, it disappeared. Or rather moved at an incredible speed it hadn’t shown up to this point. I had managed to catch where it moved. I looked down and saw the mole, only it was the typical rodent size. It was actually kind of cute like this. No more horrifying tentacles wiggling menacingly. “Huh. Neat.” Even Tutor had something to say, a rarity during battle. “Say hello to my little friend.” She said in a terrible accent.

“What?” I said, utterly confused.

“He’s Starface.” She giggled to herself. “Get it?”

I rubbed my face with both hands. “That was the dumbest pun I have ever heard. That physically hurt.” I replied through my hands.

During our poorly timed banter, little Starface ran between my legs. I was then promptly thrown into the air. It grew back to its regular(?) size just as quickly as it shrank, launching me.

While flailing in the air for a good couple of seconds, I shifted into Apis and caught myself on some tree branches with my tail. I swung around the branch and stood up to look at my foe. It was sniffing around, blowing blood off its face through its nose. Yep, pretty sure it used sound and smell to locate things.

I climbed over to some trees right above Starface and pounced, foot aimed right for its head. The kick connected; I felt something crunch under my boot. The mole shrilled again before falling to the ground. I found my sword laying a few feet away and cut the moles head off. Making sure it was dead.

I walked back over to my garden to see if it could be saved. It could not. On the bright side, I now had a wonderful sunroof in my cave. Perfect for those freezing winter mornings. The mole must have crushed the roof of my cave when it transformed out of the ground. I hopped through the hole and looked to see if any of my stuff was damaged but the hole was above a corner of the cave I didn’t use. That corner was mostly dirt anyway as opposed to the hard rock of the rest of the cave floor. The sun shined down through the hole and made a rough circle shape in the dirt. An idea bloomed in my mind, what a perfect place to plant the seeds.

They would get plenty of light and would hopefully be hidden from the monsters. I gathered the logs and vines I used for the fencing and made a patch for my roof, covering it with a layer of mud, hoping it would keep the heat in. I’d have to move the cover every morning and night, and if it rains, or snows. Okay, it's not a perfect plan but it's better than everything else so far. Hopefully, it will slow down on the monsters invading my camp too.

As I finished with the patch, I looked over to the hulking mass I left.

“Dammit, why didn’t I kill it when it was small? ”I shifted into Ursa mode and pushed the mole's body off the cave and tried dragging it to the pile. But even Ursa had trouble dragging that much deadweight that far. I shoved it out of camp and fetched the roc feather and sliced the beast wide open, letting the blood drain out. I felt bad that the cool-ass roc feather had been reduced to nothing more than a tool. Stupid mana requirements.

I thought about saving some of the mole for food but my reserves were well stocked right now, I didn't want any of it rotting. Did I nibble on its thigh a little? Maybe? These hunger urges are a pain to fight off. It didn’t taste great so I wasn’t really missing out on anything.

Now drained, I cut up its body further and moved the pieces to the pile, jokingly chanting “More blood for the blood god.” I stopped myself after realizing that might be a thing in this world. Man, I hope not.

I looked over the pile one more time and noticed something. It didn’t seem like it was getting much bigger. It actually looked smaller. “Monsters probably just decompose fast. Hey Tutor, do monsters decompose really fast?”

“Yep.”

I shrugged not putting much more thought into the matter. I had more gardening to do.

—

The sky was calm that night. Not even a hint of wind. The pale moonlight shone down on the mountain of corpses. The bodies of the monsters slain by Liam throughout the week trembled.