The Mad Rat’s Lab

“Aaah… What bad luck…! Why did I have to fight against the Abyss…? I wanted to avoid a battle of attrition if possible...”

It’s our first match in DMA tournament, and we’re fighting against a team called ‘League of Evil’. Heh, what a lame name.

It’s already been some time since I crossed the dungeon portal. The first thing I saw was a floating passage made of rock fragments surrounded by the void. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions… but when units with tentacles started to appear from everywhere, there was no doubt anymore.

I wouldn’t care for most other factions, but the problem with the Abyss faction is they have high stats. But unlike other factions that use the high stats to deal explosive damage, they instead focus on persisting damage and prefer to drag the fights to drain as much MP from the enemies as possible.

The problem is… that dwarves also lack damage and fight defensively.

Don’t misunderstand, the way the two factions fight is completely different! Dwarves use formations and damage reduction to outlast any other enemy and be the victors at the end of the fight.

But if you have dwarves fight against the abyss creatures… you get a battle of attrition, the worst thing because we need to go as far as possible in the shortest time.

“Take defensive formation! You two, retreat and let the others take the lead!”

The two dwarves don’t waste time and switch positions with two dwarves from the second row.

“Aim! Fire!”

Thunderous explosions take place all around me, and several bullets are shot against a flying monster with lots of mouths, instantly killing it.

This isn’t the first monster of that kind we found. I’ve been focusing on them because they are our worst enemies with their draining aura. There’s no way I can allow them to get close to our densely packed formation.

Dwarves lack damage because most of their stats are focused on defense, but they can make up for it with special equipment. Around me, six dwarf Artificers are wielding dragonstaffs, special guns that make a very loud explosion when shooting. They can deal a lot of damage with every shot, but they take a stupid amount of time to recharge.

I would have loved to have one or two cannons too, but they are too expensive.

After the flying monster is killed, there are no more enemies in front of us.

“Everyone, charge!”

Under my orders, twenty dwarves move as fast as they can while maintaining the formation… though it isn’t as fast as you could imagine because of their short legs.

I want to advance as much as possible before more enemies appear.

I’ve spent lots of time training with my dwarves and modifying their AI. I’ve experimented with several setups, and after lots of failures, I’ve managed to control them pretty much like a real army. I can order them to do most basic maneuvers as well as point with my finger to where they should move or attack.

“Stop!”

I order every dwarf to stop when more enemies appear. From all sides and below the ground, tentacles appear and another fight breaks out.

“Where are you… Shit, I can’t see…!”

This is annoying. I must spend most of my attention on the enemy’s champion. He or she hasn’t said a word yet, but it’s driving me mad. Moving below us all the time, in between the rock platforms, waiting for the opportunity to strike…

He only extends the tentacles and never shows himself for long. But I know it’s an enemy player because an AI can’t have such complex behavior.

“Ah, there! Aim! Fi…”

The champion’s tentacle extends and grabs one dwarf before dragging it below the ground. I don’t even have time to order the Artificers to shoot.

“Shit! It’s already the third time! Defensive formation!”

All the dwarven Guards surround me and the Artificers in a circular defensive formation. This is the only way we can effectively defend ourselves from the enemy champion’s assault because it allows most of the Guards to stab the enemy with their spears if the champion dares try to grab another dwarf.

But we can’t move properly in this formation, so the fight is going to take even more time.

“I hope the others are doing better than me.”

I don’t consider myself a pro at this game, but I’m still quite good if I say so myself. And the same is true for the rest of my team.

But we’re just some random players who formed a team to enter the tournament. Except for the two siblings, we aren’t used to each other and thus decided that everyone would lead their own attack. That’s also why everyone is only commanding units from their own faction.

The path is clear again. Only the enemy champion remains, hidden below the path, waiting for a chance to strike again.

The dwarves are still doing ok, and the same goes for me. I don’t think I’m going to be defeated before the time for the battle ends, but…

“Everyone, charge!”

…I don’t think I’m going to reach the dungeon core either. I hope the others are doing better than me.

 

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My three newest creations are following me from behind. We’re currently inside a very dense forest.

There are trees everywhere. EVERYWHERE!

In fact, there are so many trees they form a natural barrier on both sides and create the illusion of a path, the path we’re currently following.

'Please let this be part of an elvish dungeon… I really hope this isn’t a Secret Grove one. Though if I take into account how Ricard had to run away from two fairy champions… Fuck this!'

I’m sure you already know by now, but the Secret Grove faction is the official name for the fairy faction. And the annoying myconids are also part of this faction.

So you have both fairies and myconids in the same faction, which means lots of deception and trickery. Objectively speaking, they are one of the most annoying factions to play against.

Getting paralyzed because you didn’t notice a myconid before suffering a spell barrage from multiple fairies, or having to play hide-and-seek in the middle of the forest are just the mildest things they can do to you.

If I had to define this faction in a single word it would be ‘Surprise-Hahaha!’. And yes, the laughing is part of the word: most fairies laugh every time they fool you or you fall for one of their tricks.

They’re the second faction I hate the most. The first is, of course, the Abyss. As you already know, I hate the Abyss because of how scary their units are. I have nightmares every time I have to fight against them, and sometimes, I also have them after playing with my little sister.

But the Secret Grove isn’t scary at all! I mean, most of their basic units look like normal mushrooms or winged girls and boys. You could even say they are the cutest faction of all! But this doesn’t mean you can’t hate them, because the reason I hate them so much is because of how FUCKING ANNOYING they are.

In short, the reasons I hate each one are very different, but this doesn’t mean I can’t hate them both.

The trees are so densely packed that it’s impossible to see the enemies before they attack. And this isn’t a good thing if I’m dealing with fairies. Well, it isn’t a good thing against any type of enemy, but it’s especially bad against fairies because they like to run away after the first strike.

The forest is dark, the trees are twisted, and the trunks and branches resemble faces somehow. I feel their nonexistent eyes on me! There are mushrooms everywhere, any of which can turn out to be a hidden myconid, and a fairy can come to ‘play’ with us at any moment…

And everything is quiet. There isn’t a single noise other than the sound we make when we crush the leaves under our feet.

'I swear… if I hear creepy music followed by a girl’s laughing and whispers calling me to ‘come play with me’, I’m going to scream. Even if I know it’s just a fairy’s prank.'

Come on, we’re wasting lots of time here! Why did the portal have to be so far away from the core!?

'H-hello? Anybody there? I-if you’re there, p-please, don’t come out!'

 

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The forest ends and we reach an amazingly beautiful lake. The water reflects the moonlight, giving everything an ethereal beauty.

Glowing flowers grow close to the water, and fireflies dance with the wind. Or are they Will-o’-the-wisps? I don’t know from this distance.

In the middle of the lake, there’s a small island with something that glows purple, giving the whole area a magical feeling. That must be the dungeon core. I’m sure there’s a way to get there, but I don’t see it from where I am.

The Secret Grove might be the most annoying faction, but they can also have some of the most beautiful scenery. Though this doesn’t make me hate them any less.

I feel my tension disappear and my heart calms down after gazing at the rippling surface of the lake. Which isn’t a good thing because I’m still in the middle of the tournament fight.

“This is weird… We didn’t find any enemies so far.”

Maybe they expected to use the forest area for an ambush, but since I defeated the enemy player so fast, the other players don’t know the path is free?

If so… Lucky!

I look back at my newest creations. There were no fights so far, so I couldn’t test them. After the tournament, I plan on using them as support mobs when I invade other players’ dungeons, as an upgrade for the current Braindead Followers.

I know it’s weird to test new monsters when you are in the middle of the tournament, but… they were the best mobs I could pick from because of how well they complement my build. I couldn’t NOT choose them!

Because they aren’t only an upgrade to the weak and stupid Stitched but they also are specially designed to cover my weaknesses! They are by far the unit that pairs with me the best of all the units I’ve created.

And they aren’t too expensive at 200 cp to create them plus the 10 cp to upgrade them to level 2. We could afford them.

Yeah… I don’t want to upgrade them anymore so that the cost doesn’t increase too much and I can bring the three of them and Cyam with me into dungeon invasions when I reach raise my player level to level 6.

Let’s explain why are they so good! Fufufu!

First of all, they are very resilient. With the orc’s high HP as well as the dwarf’s high defensive stats and the Stoneskin innate skill, they can take a hard beating. Unlike me who’s focussed on magic stats to deal as much damage as possible and I’m squishy.

They are also good melee combatants thanks to the orc half. If you take into account the orc’s innate skill, Bloodlust, which boosts damage when below 50% health, and add their resilience to the mix, I’m sure they can take down enemies stronger than them.

While I suck at melee fights, they excel at them. Because… you know… hitting things with the staff sure is fun, but not very effective.

But that’s not all! I also gave them the Poison Sting skill to help with another thing I lack: focused and continued damage. Sure, I can blast lots of weak enemies very fast! But what can I do against a strong opponent? I can only hope it gets killed with my initial burst of damage or I’m dead. With the Poison Sting skill, they can take care of this for me! Hahaha!

I know, I know… 3 damage per second isn’t very high. But you must understand this is added to the normal weapon damage, and the poison damages the victim each second after it. I have three of them, and the poison can be stacked up to five times each… If you add it all together, it’s up to 45 HP per second only from the poison.

Heck, when I have the champion’s buff, I have a little over a thousand HP, and I wouldn’t last even 25 seconds with the poison applied to me! And that’s without taking into account the damage from the attacks to apply it!

If this doesn’t solve my problem to bring down strong opponents, nothing will do…

Also, this was the only skill I could give them because most DoT skills need high SPI to be effective. And SPI is their lowest stat, so it was a bad idea to give them one of those.

And last but not least, I’ve given them a very useful skill that will (hopefully) prevent me from dying of future mistakes - also called suicide because of the Maniac skill - while, at the same time, helping a lot with their own survivability.

I’m talking about the Vitality Aura skill.

Vitality Aura is one of those skills that’s almost useless for defending the dungeon but is very good for when you want to invade one. You know: the HP recovered during a combat that lasts less than one minute is negligible, while the HP recovered during an invasion that lasts half an hour, maybe even longer, can be quite high.

I officially introduce you to the Good Follower! My new Hybrids! My newest creations and also the ones that will cover all my weaknesses! Hahaha! At least I hope so.

And yes! They are the upgrade to the Braindead Followers but aren’t ‘braindead’ anymore. Plus they are ‘good’… doubly so when compared to the Stitched. So the name couldn’t be any other than Good Follower!

Now the only thing that I need is to test them in an actual fight. A normal and straight fight and not some kind of ambush or tricky situation, which are, as you can expect, a fairy specialty.

Let’s be honest, I don’t think I’ll have the chance to test them properly in this match.

At first, I thought I could test them properly because of the goblins and orcs pouring from the dungeon entrance I was protecting. But not anymore. Not after seeing this place that screams ‘fairies!’ in any way I see it.

“At last! Here it is!”

All this time, while I was explaining everything to you, I’ve been moving through the shining flowers and bright fireflies, walking around the lake. And I’ve finally found where to cross it to reach the dungeon core!

There are several flat stones one after another, creating something that looks like a natural bridge from this shore to the island. I’ll have to jump from one rock to the next.

I could have tried my luck swimming to the island to save time instead of looking for this passage. But no thanks. It’s a very bad decision if you take into account that all fairies can fly, leaving me and my mobs incapable of fighting back.

“Here I go… You guys follow me and try to not fall into the water, ok!?”

I make the first jump before turning around and ordering the three Good Followers to follow me.

Ahaha, what a lame joke. To order my ‘followers’ to ‘follow’ me. Somebody, please kill me before the shame does.

So far, there’s been nothing unexpected. Which is… kind of unsettling.

Where are you, fairies!? Because I KNOW you’re going to appear. I don’t know when you are going to, but I’m sure you will!

Sure that something is bound to happen, and very soon, I continue jumping from one rock to the next one. I mean, even if there’s trouble ahead, I can’t waste any more time. In the next five minutes, I need to reach the core and break it if I want to secure the win.

“Fairies, here I come!”

 

It was very soon that a meme of the Mad Rat appeared in DMA’s forums. In it, the Mad Rat was making a weird face, looking retarded, with the text ‘Followers, follow me!’ right below. Andreu knew it was coming when his ‘followers’ learned the real name of his newest creations.