The Mad Rat’s Lab

Today we’re going to play all four members of The League of Evil together. I still can’t get used to that name…

As always, it’s up to me to add everyone to the party and start the Dungeon Invasion. The only difference with what I already did a few times is that today we are going to enter a random dungeon today, one from which we don’t know anything at all.

We are going to pick a dungeon with at least 4 stars over 5 so that we are sure the dungeon is good. This is because we don’t want to find any stupid or quirky dungeon…we are working on our coordination for the tournament, so we need a decent dungeon.

The first one I send the party invitation to is Clara. We played together yesterday, trying to help her reach player level 5 before the tournament. She now needs less than half the xp needed to reach level 5, but I’m not sure if she will reach it on time…

The one who did reach level 5 was me, though. And this is the message I received.

Puzzle rooms are pretty much self-explanatory, the name says almost everything you need to know about them. The only extra thing you need to know is that most players don’t like to use them; the most common reason is that they are expensive and don’t help with killing the invaders. This, and that it’s easy to get a bad review because of a puzzle if the invaders can’t solve it.

Riddles and similar things are included in the puzzle rooms, but they must be first approved by the game staff… and it’s a hassle most players don’t want to go through. Even something like pulling levers in the correct order must be approved first, to make sure there are enough clues through the dungeon to not force the invaders into a brute-force approach.

Almost the only kind of puzzle you’ll find in a dungeon not specialized in them is having to fetch objects scattered inside the dungeon to open a door or something similar.

Anyway, returning to today’s dungeon training…

I add Ricard and Laura to the party too. They all quickly accept the invitations, and then I look for the dungeon we are going to invade. Given that the only requirement is having more than four stars rating, it’s incredibly easy to find one.

I pick the first dungeon that meets our requirements. It’s called ‘Rainbow Gunk’, which is… a name that’s both interesting and worrying at the same time. Well, we decided to pick randomly. If I choose another one, it won’t be truly random, so… ‘Rainbow Gunk’, here we go!

 

After the initial light flashes, we find ourselves in an underground space. It looks like some kind of ruins, with rubble everywhere… some spots have collapsed and are full of dirt. But where’s the rainbow…!? You promised me a rainbow but everything I can see is either gray or brown!

We inspect the dungeon for a short while before talking between ourselves. What are we doing right now? We are trying to find clues about what type of dungeon we are in to make plans and also have an easier time later. We agreed to do this every time during the tournament because, even if it takes some time, it’s important to know as much as possible about the dungeon to avoid making crucial mistakes.

“Did you see anything? I didn’t see anything of relevance.” I ask when we all return to the entrance portal.

“No, I only saw ruins everywhere.”

“The same goes for me. If I had to guess, I would say this is an undead dungeon. Though there are also other factions that use this kind of underground passages and ruins… so it’s hard to guess only by it. What I can assure you is that we are in one of the evil-aligned factions, or maybe some weird neutral faction, no good-aligned faction would have a dungeon like this.”

Both Laura and Ricard say the same, except that the latter also gives extra information about the situation. We talked about it, and Ricard is now in charge of providing relevant information during the dungeon invasions.

Let’s say he’s now the official chief of intelligence in our team… The most important word here is the ‘relevant’ one because now we can shut him up if he starts to sputter nonsense. A very good improvement, if you ask anyone other than Ricard himself.

Though he doesn’t dislike it too much because, as long as it’s ‘relevant’, we can’t make him shut up anymore… It’s like a double-edged sword.

“I went further that way and saw something different, there were colored puddles scattered through the floor! I touched one a little and it was sticky. It also smelled bad.”

Pointing toward where Clara went to investigate, she explains what she saw to the rest of us.

“Well, at least we now know where the ‘Rainbow Gunk’ name came from…” I sarcastically say. “Also, you shouldn’t touch things when you’re alone! Didn’t we agree we would first share information!? What do you think would happen if it was a trap!?” *Sigh* I cover my face with a hand in exasperation. “Anything more?”

“Nothing more. I’m sorry, brother…”

Laura opens her mouth again at this moment.

“Hey, Baldy. Do you know anything about those sticky and smelly colored puddles?”

“Hmm… Believe me or not, lots of factions can create similar decorations. I can’t reduce the list of possible enemy factions with only this.”

“Then we need to investigate them first. What do you say, leader?” Asks Laura, looking in my direction.

Thanks to her experience as a game master for TTRPGs, Laura knows a lot about traps and strategies to defeat invaders. That’s why she’s now our strategist.

You could argue that Ricard, with his ‘vast game knowledge’ (in his own words), would be better suited for the strategist position… but there’s a huge problem with it: he’s incapable of focusing on what’s in front of him. He would start to plan how to avoid a trap and end up talking about how to better farm souls for his undead faction. So he only brings info to the table and Laura is the one who makes the plans.

And the leader position fell on me. There are several reasons for it, like me being in a good position to control the battle flow because I’m in the rear... But the most relevant reason is that I’m the one who knows everyone the best, so I can ‘control’ both Ricard and Clara before it’s too late and they run amok.

And Clara… She doesn’t have any role in the party other than dealing damage. Well, she is kind of… our mood maker? I don’t know, she just does and says unexpected stuff most of the time. You might say it’s a bad thing, but it’s thanks to her that we spot a lot of traps and dangerous stuff before it’s too late, so we can’t really complain.

“I say we start moving in the puddle’s direction and investigate them first.” I answer Laura’s question. “So let’s move, guys! You Baldy go in front, followed by Lily, then me, and the last one is Lemon.”

“Yes! I’ll protect you from any enemies trying to ambush us from the back!”

Yeah… I’m not so sure about this formation anymore… I wonder why.

 

We quickly reach the room with the colored puddle under Clara’s directions. True to her explanation, this room contains four puddles of different colors: red, blue, green, and white. After a short investigation, we decide they are safe: nothing happens if you touch the liquid, and you can even step on it.

“They are safe, there’s nothing to worry about.” This is the conclusion we reach.

*Splash!* *Splash!* Moving forward, Clara continues to jump into the colored puddles, the same thing kids do on rainy days. She doesn’t go far away to make the splashes, staying close behind me, but every time one pool is close enough… *Splash!*

And this continues until the third room with puddles, when we hear a *Splash* sound followed by an “Aaaaah!” cry from behind. When we turn around, there’s no sign of Clara, only a few water ripples in one of the puddles.

“Where’s Lemon…?” I start to say when Ricard interrupts me.

“Shit! I should have expected something like this! That isn’t a puddle, it’s a slime!”

“What do you mean…” Realization suddenly strikes me, and I give out orders. “Quick, attack the one with the ripples!”

I cast Chain Lightning at the same time as Laura strikes the puddle with her whip and Ricard rushes there, sword in hand.

Luckily the enemy isn’t very strong and it dies at our barrage. How do we know it’s dead? Because an HP bar appears on top of the puddle after the first attack. But the best sign is the geyser-like splash of sticky and stinky goo created when the HP bar reaches zero.

Soon after, a horrible monster fully covered in purple goo emerges from the puddle.

…it’s Clara. Don’t you think the purple goo actually complements her Champion’s looks? It now looks even more terrifying than usual, with the tentacles covered in a disgusting and sticky purple substance.

“Haaaa… Thank you for saving me! I thought I was a goner! Hehehe!”

“...It’s fine. You discovered the trap now that we had spare time to save you, so not everything’s bad. Just don’t jump in the puddles anymore! Or we’ll have to seriously think about finding somebody else to play with us.”

I warn her. Yeah, that’s the most effective warning I can think of when it comes to my little sister.

“No, no no! I won’t do it again, I’ll stop! So don’t kick me out!”

Like I was saying before, Clara tends to do random things that, most of the time, end up helping us in the long run. Just imagine we didn’t discover this trap and one of us fell into the Slimehole in the middle of combat. Yeah… It’s a slime inside a hole, so I’m going to call it a Slimehole, obviously.

It looks like we will need to avoid the Slimeholes from now on. There’s no need to attack all puddles we find to check if they are a Slimehole or not. If we avoid walking on top of them, they won’t do anything to us.

“Well, we now at least know the faction of this dungeon. We are in an Amorphous dungeon… so expect lots of slimes!”

As if nothing happened at all, Ricard starts to talk about the slime faction. And then proceeds to explain IN DETAIL everything he can remember about them.

 

---

 

We have passed through a few more rooms filled with puddles and fought a few basic slimes when Ricard finally shuts up. There wasn’t a single dangerous situation so far, other than when Clara fell inside a Slimehole, so we are having an easy time.

Basic slimes are like the ones that appear at the start of most RPG games: they deal almost no damage and are very slow. And I do mean VERY slow because the Stitched actually move faster than them…

Somewhere not too far away, I can see the Stone Eye Kidnapper capturing a Gel unit. I’m not sure of its original color because when they turn to stone they all look the same: gray. But it’ll make a nice Colored Gecko regardless of the color.

“Nice! You’re doing your job properly, Cyam! Capture all you want, and help me grow my collection! Fufufu! Hahaha!”

I decided to call him… umm… it..? Hmm… whatever. I decided to call the Stone Eye Kidnapper, Cyam. Because the template name is too long. Also, I’ll never make a second or third one of them, so it’s easy to remember a single name.

I never mentioned it before, but it’s possible to give a name to the dungeon mobs if you want to. Though it’s a cosmetic option only, it doesn’t change anything about how they behave or how strong they are at all. Most players never name the monsters because it’s a chore. Most only name those units that are very important, like monster bosses; or unique monsters, like what I did with Cyam.

Though I must admit that it’s quite impressive when you enter a dungeon where every unit has its own name because it feels like you’re in the real world. This is especially true if it’s in a human dungeon.

“It’s a shame we don’t have any aura skill in the party… It would help us identify which puddles are slimes so that we can kill them and obtain free souls to feed my legion! At least those weak slimes are perfect! Hahaha! I hope the dungeon is full of them! Do you think I can feed them so they multiply and can obtain double the souls!?”

Let’s ignore what I just heard…

We agreed that everyone is free to roleplay as he or she wants when we are playing together. The only time when it’s forbidden is when we are making an important decision, so as to not slow down the dungeon invasion. The rest of the time, everyone is free to do or say what he or she wants, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the dungeon invasion.

As you can expect, the worst of all is Ricard, who continues to go crazy for souls every time he kills an enemy; getting even more excited after a big battle where lots of enemies died. I also do quite a lot of roleplay, interpreting the Mad Rat and its mad scientist impulses.

Laura barely roleplays. Only from time to time, she clearly insinuates to me or slightly abuses some enemy in a very ‘special’ way with her whip. I think she’s struggling to find a good balance between not roleplaying at all and being too explicit in a game where 18+ stuff can be banned. I can imagine that roleplaying as a succubus while avoiding sexual stuff can be hard…

And Clara plays perfectly the creepy little sister role. Though I’m not sure if she does it on purpose, or if it’s just the feeling I get because of how she behaves added to what she looks like. Her Champion is already creepy enough, so if she tries to stick to me and play cute… I can’t stop shuddering in fear. In multiple ways.

We continue to move through the ruined tunnel, when Ricard, who’s walking in front, suddenly stops and starts to make weird movements, wielding his sword continuously as if fighting an invisible enemy. It also looks like he’s floating in mid-air, his feet not touching the ground at all.

“What the hell’s happening?”

I voice what all of us are thinking at this moment, but Ricard doesn’t say anything. It’s Laura, the one closest to him, the only one who can find out what’s happening.

“...It’s an enemy monster! It must have swallowed Baldy whole! Quick, let’s help him!”

“Lemon, let’s attack it!”

“Yes, brother!”

I cast a few Cold Blasts while Laura attacks with the whip and Clara extends her tentacle from behind. I’m going to believe Laura’s words here, but I can’t see an HP bar anywhere… Are you sure it’s an enemy and not a trap?

The immobilization of the third Cold Blast I cast activates, and ice appears encasing something invisible. We can finally ‘see’ the enemy, and Ricard is inside it!

Hmm. Should I say we can finally ‘not see’ it? Because the only thing we see is the ice covering the monster, and not the monster itself…

Finally, after a few more attacks and spells, we hear a *Plop!* sound, similar to when you pop a balloon, and Ricard falls to the ground. At the same time, a wave of liquid is released, similar to what happens if you break a dam, and it splashes on us, leaving us dripping with something that looks like water, but it’s a lot stickier.

“Blegh! What’s this? It’s disgusting!”

“Hehehe! Now we are all covered in those substances! I’m not the only one anymore!”

“Baldy, are you ok?”

The one who asks Ricard if he’s ok is Laura. She’s the only one who can reach him, the passage is too narrow for several of us to walk side by side. You must keep in mind that we also bring our support units with us, and they take up quite a lot of space.

Trying to catch his breath, Ricard finally opens his mouth.

“Hah, hah… Even if this is a game and you don’t need to breathe, it’s extremely disgusting not being able to do so… Aaaagh! How could I fall for something like this!? It was the classical invisible slime filling the whole passage kind of trap!”

I already know it was an enemy because it died after attacking it, but I still need to ask. “But why couldn’t we see the HP bar if it was an enemy!?”

“Oh, that’s easy. It was filling the whole passage, so the HP bar was very close to the ceiling. From my position, I could barely see it, but from your position, it might have been hidden.”

“Oh, it makes kind of sense…” At Laura’s explanation, I finally understand what happened just now. “From now on, who goes in front must check all the time if there’s another one of those slimes. We can’t allow ourselves to fall for this trap again!” I order them.

We are about to continue moving forward, but I have a bad feeling… It’s rare for Clara to not say anything (usually laugh) when something like this happens, so I decide to turn around and make sure she’s doing fine.

But when I do so, I can see her struggling with random movements. She’s also slightly floating in mid-air. And this time, because I’m the closest one, I can see an HP bar floating over her head, almost touching the ceiling.

“Oooh, no! Not another one! And this time it came from the back! Guys, we must save Lemon!” I shout.

I’m starting to get tired of the trap enemies, and it’s only the third time…

 

“... As you have already seen, the slimes are the perfect units to be used in traps. It isn’t about being ready for an ambush when the invaders are facing a trap, which of course they also excel in, but more about being part of the trap itself.

Slimes that drop on your face, invisible slimes you can’t see until they engulf you, a slime that camouflages as a rock or a water puddle… These are just a few of the many examples of traps in which the slimes are part of the trap.

But my favorite one, and you must agree it’s incredibly nasty, is…”

- Random ‘knowledge drilling’ done by Ricard during the Dungeon Invasion. It was ‘relevant’ information, so nobody could stop him.