The Incompletionist

The fact that I was already tired of camping was good news. Unbeknownst to me I had in fact transitioned from camping with somewhere to call home to just plain wandering. Freeing really once you get the hang of it. Projecting back the shift from a camping state of mind was vital.

***

I know that hell is other people, but in general I could have done much worse than the crew currently huddled up with me in the large clearing we had stumbled into following our flight from the unnatural commotion that manifested just south of our camp. I am not talking about survival skills, I had no idea about that, but if I had to guess we were in bad shape. No. This group shined where it counted, a minimum of drama, hysterics and idiocy.

Shockingly no one was really panicking at this point. The general mood was one of confusion, apprehension, curiosity and trepidation. Thankfully Jim took charge of the conversation and did an admirable job at that, but to really understand the outcome, it is important to understand the players.

James “Jim” Douglas - Before college Jim spent a few years touring the country and even Europe repping for BMX bike manufacturers. He’d do stunts on the bikes and connect with crowds of BMX fans. He was great at both. Athletic, charming, intelligent and all around capable, Jim studied coding in college and was a solid early professional in the tech industry. He was a friend so old that I had actually gotten confused when I was like seven and I thought we were family for a couple of years.

Karen Hay - Karen was a natural leader and Jim’s fiance. I had only known her for a few years, but I knew that no matter what the situation she would figure out the best way to tackle it head on. Compassionate, empathetic and extremely intelligent, she and Jim made a great couple and an amazing team. In college she was a decathlete and professionally she was a rising star at a competitor to the tech firm that Jim worked for in the city. I fully expected to work in a warehouse in the vast corporate empire that she would no doubt one day rule with Jim.

Kelly Borthwick - A friend of Karen’s from college, Kelly was, by all accounts but mine, charming, sophisticated and attractive. She was also into things like marketing and power lunches. She was more calculating than compassionate, but I have to admit she was clever. I tried to stay on good terms with Kelly for the sake of keeping my life simple and it generally worked, though I did take care to use superior strategy, creativity and the element of surprise to consistently beat her at board games. I knew it annoyed her and I enjoyed the way that she played it off like she wasn’t that competitive. Petty I know, but I am kind of petty sometimes.

Sarah Bruce - If Karen gave off cool big sis vibes and Kelly gave off evil step sister vibes, Sarah gave off cute, fun loving little sister vibes. Quite a few in our small group had crushes on Sarah of one stripe or another and everyone had some instinct to protect her. Also a friend of Karen and Kelly from college, Sarah was intelligent and empathetic and, of everyone in our gang, my most frequent conspirator and partner in crime. I think that she had a job, but I don’t know what it was. Her family seemed really wealthy and though she wasn’t flashy about her family’s resources she also never really seemed to have a care in the world. However, if Sarah put her mind to something, heaven help you if you tried to resist, because it was going to happen.

Erin White - One of the trio White siblings that worked with Karen at Penatrode or Innatrode or whatever tech firm she was at. Erin was a competent engineer who was very nearly obsessed with Sarah. It was the friendly, worshipful type of obsession, it was a source of some annoyance for Sarah. I didn’t really know her that well. She was in good shape, was generally quiet and often kept to herself. She also occasionally shot me jealous, competitive vibes with respect to my relationship with Sarah. She was both transparent and misguided in this, but no one is perfect.

Karl White - Karl the eldest of the White siblings. Karl was a charismatic development manager that worked with Karen. Another founding member of the Sarah Bruce fan club, Karl seemed a little old for Sarah and for hanging out with us in general. To look at him you would think that he was an actual adult with his own friends and something better to do, but if history was any guide that wasn’t the case. He had a Porsche and it was moderately amusing to watch Sarah totally ignore him, but he wasn’t really a jerk.

Roland “Lando” White - I am not going to say meathead, but Lando wasn’t known for his witty repartee. He was a big guy who looked like he was training to lift a car for some reason. He was totally obnoxious when he was drunk, but otherwise he was a lot of fun and generally a good person to have around. He wasn’t in a relationship with Karen with any official dimension that I could identify, but he did seem to take his orders from Karen more often than not.

Lyle Anders - Lyle was a weird dude. Always in the right place at the right time with his perfect smile, it seemed like everything just kind of worked out for Lyle. It was like he was always channeling his inner Ferris Bueller without really trying too hard. Lyle was the only member of the group initially connected through me rather than the Karen - Jim axis. I met Lyle playing racquetball and we just sort of hit it off. He was not complicated to deal with, had unexpectedly interesting ideas and liked many of the same things I did.

Queakers - One badass dog if you needed a snuggle. Queakers was a bichon frise of great agility and intelligence, but was like fifteen pounds soaking wet. She was well trained, had a communication board that she could use to talk with a vocabulary of about 20 words and was very into what she saw as her family unit. A highly developed economy of roasted peanuts and head scratches ensured Queakers’ absolute loyalty to me.

So like I said, not really a bad group, but we were in kind of bad shape. The exhaustion of our night hike had tamped down the gang’s energy a great deal, but we were in a surreal situation and everyone was on edge. Those of us that had phones had no signal, which was no surprise as they hadn’t worked all weekend in this remote location. We were cut off from an easy means to call for help and in the light of day it was clear that we needed a plan. We had to get a line on the situation in the woods, especially the level of danger it presented, and strategy to get out in one piece.

Jim suggested that we split into three groups. One group would hike out to the main highway in search of help and a path out of the woods. One group would carefully retrace our steps to the campsite and assess the situation. One would sit tight in the clearing and prepare a new camp in the event that we couldn’t make it out that day. We were deep in the forest, not so deep that we couldn’t get back to civilization with the supplies that we had, but also not in a position to pop over to a ranger station and ask for help.

Our plan was one notch, and one bichon frise, above splitting up to look for clues that the supernatural monster was really a guy in a weird camo diving suit, but I had to agree that it made the most sense. It hedged our bets in case we couldn’t get out that night, while identifying the threats and opportunities that we’d need to understand to take the right next steps. I don’t know when they had time to discuss it previously, but Jim and Karen were pretty much a united front on the merits of the plan and everyone else fell in line pretty quickly.

Erin had brought her map with her when we left camp and apparently had a good idea of where we were. She volunteered to lead the group headed to the highway and Lando and Jim volunteered to go with her. I volunteered to lead the group to sneak back to our camp and assess the situation. I felt like I had to understand what happened and I fancied myself as stealthy as anyone in the group, so I figured it made sense. Lyle and Kelly volunteered to come with me back to the camp. Everyone else was going to work on setting up what they could in the clearing in case we were stuck here. I am not really clear on what they were planning to accomplish, but Karen seemed to have a plan.

We all planned to meet back in the clearing by noon with whatever information we had collected and plan our next steps. I handed my pack off to those that were staying behind, Sarah agreed to take care of Queakers and, just like that Lyle, Kelly and I were headed right back the way that we had come just a short while ago.