The Incompletionist

Lierin was beautiful, but so were all of the fae. The personalities of those that I had met in this new place varied widely, the median was somewhere just north of as pleasant as nails on a chalkboard. I had only interacted with her briefly, but Lierin specifically and the brownies in general seemed to have a good sense of humor. This made them much more palatable as partners than all of the elves that I had met thus far. Unfortunately, Lierin still had that edge of superiority that made me feel a little ornery and I felt like perhaps I needed to give her a bit of a hard time, so I jumped right in.

“Listen Lierin. I like what you have done with the place. It’s a great start. Things aren’t quite as developed as I had expected at this point, but you have to overlook these little setbacks in life. However, we really need to talk about the pixies.” A shadow of what looked like disappointment and confusion briefly passed over Lierin’s face and I just let the pause hang in the air.

In my prior life, which as I think about it was just a few weeks prior, I frequently had to negotiate with vendors and contractors for all manner of things. I didn’t really enjoy it and, as a practical person, I usually just figured out what was fair based on the data available and pushed hard for that without too much dickering. Sometimes someone was too arrogant or “clever” to go for this and decided that they really needed to waste my time with a bunch of games. I made those folks pay for the time that they wasted by being annoying myself and I really, really valued my time.

I felt bad for breaking out the toolkit I had reserved for jerk vendors on Lierin, who I had a strong suspicion was a kind hearted person who was actually trying to help me and even make me happy. On the other hand Lierin had overstepped in a way that suggested a lack of boundaries and respect. Thi was a direct attack on my freedom and totally unacceptable to me. In all honesty I was also really frustrated.

Things were going well under the circumstances, but from the camping trip to now I felt like I was playing someone else’s game and it made me a little tetchy. When folks stole the few opportunities that I did have to have some agency in my own life it made me downright angry. Calm and rational in a life threatening crisis and overly emotional when someone successfully does their job without talking to you first, yeah, I probably needed some professional help. Also, I am probably just a bit of an asshole, but, anyhow, step one in my crash negotiation course is to never be the first one to talk.

Leirin already spoke first, so she lost this point. However, I responded quickly, so I felt like we needed a reset. I think that Leirin also knew this rule because she also just let my pause hang in the air. Aquilian really came through for me by sending up the refreshments very quickly. Now I was being really petty, so even though it hurt me inside to be rude to the server, I didn’t thank him after he dropped off the food. The pretzel was delicious and I sat in complete silence with Leirin and Galan as I ate the entire thing, including all of the cheese dip, and drank my entire mug of delicious, crisp hard cider. The brownies are as long lived as any other fae and you don’t get old without developing supernatural patience, so I had picked a really dumb fight here, but I was just stubborn enough to outlast them. I had to sit in silence for at least a full minute after finishing my food and then start casually filling my plate from the cheese platter before Leirin gave in.

“Harris. Now that you have had something to eat, can you share with us what we need to discuss about the pixies?” Leirin spoke with poise and posture, looking directly into my eyes with a smile. She had an impact when she spoke. I think that there may have even been some kind of magic involved. My resolve wavered, but I knew that if I didn’t push this now she would run roughshod over me for the next year.

On to phase two, confuse and disorient. “Well Lierin, I am worried about their safety. I am also not sure how well they’ll work once the shadow pumoxes get comfortable in the space. I’ve heard that the shadow pumoxes can get a little playful. With all the progress that you have made while I was away, I just don’t think we can wait any longer on the cat phase. It’s actually not bad timing, as I’ll be headed to shadow pumox territory next week. I am sure that I can get some help from Deldes and Delirin if I can’t bag enough live ones on my own. I mean we could try to get some tame ones, but I think that wild ones will calm down pretty quickly and be much more economical.”

Galan’s expression remained serene, but Leirin was aghast. “Harris! Cats?!?! No. Why would you even say that. A wild shadow pummox . . . ” Leirin’s eyes were wide and she was pretty close to hyperventilating. There were clearly large differences between pre-awakening folklore and post-awakening realities with the fae that I had met thus far. I am also no kind of folklore expert, but I remember reading a story that indicated that brownies liked it if you put a bell on your cat. I figured that meant that they were scared of cats, though Lierin’s reaction was more than I expected. I was definitely feeling more guilty than righteous, but I figured in for a penny in for a pound.

“Oh. Did we not talk about the cats? Well. Sorry for making plans without you.” I don’t actually understand why it matters so much who fills a silence first, but it really does when you are negotiating. It is almost the most important thing, so I just let silence hang while waiting for Lierin to respond. I saw a flash of anger and then embarrassment as she blushed. Mission accomplished. Then I saw her flash back to anger. Oops, perhaps I had gone a touch too far. My mind flashed to some of the legends of what an angry, vindictive fae could do and I had a micro-panic.

Thankfully, Leirin chuckled and that quickly turned into a full blown fit of laughter as Galan also joined in. She said, “Point taken Harris.”

“I knew that you two would be a good pair. Really, though Harris. Cats. We adopt you and you threaten us with cats,” responded Galan.

“Well. To be fair I threatened you with the idea of cats. I expect that you know that I couldn’t find a shadow pumox let alone capture one unless you convinced Deldes and Delirin to help me, Galan.” Galan just laughed again. I had no doubt that the old trickster had known exactly what would happen, but I couldn’t guess his purpose. It was very hard to understand the fae, but easy to see that I would never be able to control them and that it wouldn’t be easy to get them to see me as an equal.

I spent the next few hours talking and snacking with the elder brownie and his daughter. We all had a few more laughs. I gave Leirin my honest feedback on the cafe and my apartment. I was extremely impressed with what she had been able to accomplish in a short time. The brownies had crafted pretty much everything themselves and the apartment redecoration was meant as a reward after my greuling hunting trip. Our board game cafe was the hottest ticket in town. Apparently the fae really like games, who knew? Lierin had established membership tiers, reservations and waiting lists to try to keep order, but she had already begun work on a second location on the side of the safe zone.

Lierin had used a portion of my earnings from the cafe to fix up my apartment since it “upset” her to see me living in discomfort like a broke college student. Did I mention that I Leirin had registered me as the owner of the second location too? My guilt was flowing freely now, I could feel the shame starting too at that point. However, I could also tell that I had elevated my standing with both Galan and Leirin by standing up for myself and faring as well as I did against Leirin in our “negotiation.”

Galan and I discussed the details of my apprenticeship-lite at the magic artificer shop as well as the plans for some of his clan to help at what I was generously calling my bookstore at this point. I didn’t really have any books for sale, but I was hoping to invest the minimum effort there as it was essentially a front for my spending time at the Treefort. After an enjoyable afternoon, I thanked my hosts and made my way back to the front door of the board game cafe. Aquilan met me at the door and, after introducing himself, provided me with some boxed lunches and prepared snacks that I could reheat instead of cooking for myself. If awakened life really was like a videogame, then I was pretty sure that making it through that conversation with Leirin without getting bulldozed was a big unlock.

***

Leirin watched the tall human disappear out the door of the private room, but she waited until Jhaeros called to confirm that he had left the cafe before turning to her father. “What do you think?” she asked the elder brownie.

“I thought that was very amusing. What did you think, Leirin?” Galan smirked as he replied.

Leirin pursed her lips and met Galan’s eyes with an incredulous stare, “When I look at him I don’t see anything out of the ordinary, but I can’t really read him. It’s like his thoughts are fuzzy. His little jest should have never been possible, but I found myself taken in for at least a moment. Me. Leirian Loramenor tricked and surprised? By a human no less? We’ll need to take care that our little friend doesn’t get into more trouble than he can handle.”

Galan just smiled, his face still serene, and laughed. “Oh, little Leirin. Always thinking so small. Sometimes you need to take a step back and see the bigger picture.” Leirin stared at the empty doorway and pondered her father’s words. She knew that he wouldn’t share an explanation or more of his thoughts on the matter.