The Impeccable Adventure of the Reluctant Dungeon

Passing through the portal turned out less climactic than one might think. There was no tunnel of light, no mysterious runes floating about… nothing more than the sound of a brief pop. The closest way to describe it was like walking through an extremely thin sheet of paper; the village, with all its surroundings, was left behind, and a completely new endowment emerged. The only small issue—though not so minor for Theo and Liandra—was that they had appeared smack in the middle of a veritable fleet of dirigibles. There were at least eight of them, though it was difficult to tell for certain, since both Theo and Liandra landed on the top of a dirigible smack in the middle of the fleet.

Upon coming into contact with the vehicle’s surface, both aether shields popped like bubbles. Being an experienced heroine, Liandra immediately drew one of her swords and stuck it halfway through into the metal surface. Theo, on the other hand, did no such thing, leaving himself to fall to the ground.

“Theo!” Liandra shouted, then attached an aether thread to her boomerang blade and threw it in his direction.

The avatar just stared as the thing flew by.

What am I supposed to do with that? Theo wondered. Falling from such a distance wasn’t going to harm him in the least, even if he didn’t have any spells to cushion the fall. However, being seen to do so might cause far more serious problems.

“Ooops,” he shouted, making a forcibly clumsy attempt to catch it.

“Grab it, you idiot!” the woman yelled, both terrified of Theo’s potential demise and frustrated at his incompetence.

This was bad. And to think that things had just started to look up for Theo. Thanks to his decisive actions moments ago, he had amounted to something in the eyes of the heroine; more important, she had considered him human.

“Spok, I need a magic deactivation spell!” Theo shouted in his main body back in Rosewind.

That might not be the best solution, the spirit guide replied. Also, given the—

“Just do it!”

AETHER NEGATION

Use energy to drain all magic within a certain field. The energy required is twice that of the aether within the specified field.

Without waiting, Theo had his avatar use the new spell. Nothing happened.

“Damn it!” his avatar said, still falling to the ground. He had completely forgotten that dungeon spells could not be transmitted to his avatar through such distances. To be more precise, he was hoping that he’d get lucky against the odds, and it would turn out that the distance was close enough to Rosewind for the skill transfer to have effect.

Stress filled Theo’s consciousness. This felt all too much like a deadline—a thing that had traumatized him his entire past life. Instantly, he cast several swiftness spells to provide himself an extension of sorts, then cast Arcane Identify on anything in view. No new information came from the many dirigibles—the anti-magic field was clearly able to confuse even a simple ability such as identify. To Theo’s surprise, however, the portal itself yielded a strange result.

SPACE PORTAL Level 3

Radius: 300 feet

A condensed aether portal, created by an aether generation crystal, that allows instant transport between two points, following the principles of the dimension carry items. Since the magic is self-contained, it cannot be negated.

In order to remain functional, the space portal must constantly be powered by an energy source located directly below it.

Directly below? Theo looked down.

A giant purple crystal was glowing on the ground, similar to an aviation obstruction light that was put on skyscrapers in his previous life. That thing was responsible for creating the portal? Destroying it would instantly close the portal, and with luck, release enough mana to create a small explosion, just enough to conceal Theo’s crash in the ground.

Using his range attack ability to target the crystal, Theo then launched a series of medium-strength fireballs, condensing them into the size of peas.

When the first fireball hit its target, a spiderweb of cracks covered the entire surface of the crystal. When the second hit—an explosion far greater than anything Theo had imagined engulfed his avatar and the entire area.

Being made of energy, the avatar—and his clothes—were completely unharmed. Theo just felt a sudden drain of energy as the flames swept through. Strengthened by the mana released from the aether crystal, they expanded up to the dirigibles themselves. The force was so great that the entire fleet was swept away like kites in a thunderstorm.

Uh, oh, Theo thought.

This wasn’t part of the plan. All he wanted to do was to conceal the result of his fall, not blow up a hero. It was like the accident with the old man all over again. Now he’d have to quickly gather enough energy and find a new place to move to and restart the process from scratch. His title, the land deed, not to mention the special magic permit were useless. He was going to be lucky if he could end up as a hole in the ground in a nearby swamp.

“Spok, start preparations to move,” Theo sighed back in his main body.

Oh. The disappointment in the spirit guide’s voice was palpable. Is there something that upsets you in the current location?

“How can I put it…” the dungeon began in a passively aggressive fashion. “I think the earl might be upset upon learning that not only did I get sidetracked from his original task—” which was Liandra’s fault “—but also got a hero blown up in the process. Call me cynical, but I believe there would be some retributions.”

No hero has died.

“Huh?” Several doors in the dungeon went ajar.

There has been no increase in your energy. If a hero had died due to your actions, you’d have received a massive amount of Core Points. No such thing has occurred.

Theo remained speechless. The spirit guide was right! As a dungeon, he should have received a ton of Core Points, along with an explanation who he had killed. Those were the rules. The fact that he didn’t could only mean that—

“You bloody idiot!” Liandra shouted, as she landed a few steps away. Neither flames, nor explosion, nor even several hundred feet drop had caused her any serious damage. Merely parts of her clothes were slightly singed.

That was quite terrifying, come to think of it. As a dungeon, Theo had exhausted quite a lot of energy to maintain his avatar whole. For a human to have done it… the title Liandra held wasn’t only for show.

“You could have told me you planned to destroy the crystal!” she shouted, adding a dozen swears that would make a rowdy innkeeper blush. Hearing her was slightly shocking, although on the bright side it meant that the dungeon’s secret remained. “I was worried there for a moment!”

“Well, I—"

“Seeing you fall made me think you took us through the portal without a plan.”

“I knew that there had to be a crystal creating the portal,” Theo lied. “Since it wasn’t near the village, it stood to reason that it was on the other side.”

“Reasonable.” Liandra nodded. “So you just had to get through and float down in an aether shield to reach it. Clever.”

As much as Theo wanted to claim the credit for that, he couldn’t. In fact, he felt so silly for not thinking about it that he chose not to say a thing.

“Anyway, where do you think we are?” he looked around.

It was difficult to make out anything in the darkness. With the portal and the aether crystal both gone, it was impossible to make out anything. The entire sky was covered with clouds, indicating that they were a fair distance away, and there seemed to be a set of jagged mountain cliffs not too far away. First thing Theo was going to do when his avatar returned was to grant it dark vision. That way, he’d never end up in a similar situation.

“No idea. Probably the Mandrake Mountains”

“The Mandrake Mountains?” Theo said, somewhat alarmed.

“It’s just a name.” The heroine reassured him. “There haven’t been wild mandrakes on the continent for centuries. Well, not in large amounts anyway. Supposedly there were loads of them here at some point, but you know how legends are started.”

“I have an idea…” Theo thought back to his own notoriety. As far as the world was concerned, he was a vicious dungeon that had killed a legendary hero and now had a price on his head. Thankfully, the news hadn’t reached this part of the world.

“Well, there’s no point fussing about it. With the goblin carriers gone, it’ll be best if we get some sleep. Things will be much clearer in the morning.”

“I doubt that. We’ve no idea what the people behind this are doing, why they went on a kidnapping spree, capturing gnomes and people, or even what their end goal is.” Theo scratched his right earlobe.

“I meant there will be more light in the morning,” the heroine said in an amused tone. “Glad that you’ve gotten interested in this, though.”

“I’m not interested,” Theo quickly went on the defensive. “I was just pointing out the problems.”

Damnit! He grumbled to himself. There was no denying that had had gotten slightly interested. Not only that, but he was starting to sound like an anime cliché. When he had entered this world, the only thing he wanted was to sleep quietly and detox from all the stress in his previous life. However, now that that was ruined—and he’d ended up in this mess—there was a part of him that wanted to figure out what was going on. It was similar to an itch a person got after starting a book to pass time, only to find themselves pulled in after a few chapters.

Mechanized goblins, aether portals, anti-magic dirigibles… there was bound to be a story behind it. Not to mention that if someone was trying to take over the world, sooner or later they’ll become a huge discomfort. The best solution was to deal with them early on.

“Just go to sleep,” Theo grumbled beneath his breath. “I’ll keep watch.”

The proposal was accepted on the spot. Cleaning up a spot on the rocky ground, Liandra pulled out an animal fur from a dimensional item, then curled up on the ground, wrapping herself in it. Within moments she was already asleep.

For Theo, the night passed quite differently. At first, he walked about, seeking out remnants of the aether crystal. Soon enough, it became clear that such didn’t exist. Whatever remnants he came across were from the metal stands, keeping the crystal in place. There didn’t seem to be anything special about them: the metal wasn’t particularly strong or hard, just some alloy that did the job. Moving beyond the blast range was nothing. The ground continued to be hard and rocky without a single plant or blade of grass.

Having nothing to do, Theo kept on walking for hours, slowly extending the circle around the original position of the crystal. Despite that, he didn’t come across anything. Even the fleet of dirigibles seemed to have floated away.

“Spok,” Theo said back in his original form. “Is there any way of telling where I am?”

You are in Rosewind, sir. Your avatar, in contrast, is… elsewhere.

“Very funny.”

Sadly, I’m being serious. There’s no way to pinpoint your location.

“What do you mean? Can’t you just make a crystal ball with remote viewing or something?”

Normally, that would be rather easy. However, you appear to be in a location that prevents spying and scrying.

That sounded rather sophisticated. Whoever was planning to take over the world had gone through extraordinary lengths to ensure that everything was concealed. Portal traveling airships, anti-magic zones… What was next?

“Will this affect the link with my avatar?”

Not to worry, the connection is safe. Breaking the connection between a dungeon and its avatar is a near impossibility.

“Near?” Theo suddenly felt worried. “So, it has happened?”

There are only a few known instances, Spok tried to dismiss the danger. But that was ages ago. Long before you came to be, sir.

“I haven’t been in this world long…”

It’s most definitely not that. Only powerful demon curses and holy magic could sever a connection and even then, not completely. It would be far easier just to outright destroy your core.

“Thanks… I feel much better.” That’s the last time I ask you for reassurance. “Liandra said something about the Mandrake Mountains. Anything special about them?”

Not particularly. The only thing they are notable for is that they’re completely barren. If she’s correct, you’re half a continent away in what is considered to be one of the cursed zones.

“Cursed zone?” The furniture within Theo shuffled.

Supposedly, those are zones that still have residual energy from the time deities and demons fought in the world. They are perfectly harmless. At most people might experience some minor magic disruptions, though nothing to affect you.

That was starting to sound familiar. It seemed suspiciously close to what was needed to disrupt the connection between Theo and his avatar. Being in such a zone didn’t fill the dungeon with a lot of confidence. Then again, maybe it wasn’t as dangerous as it sounded. Still, it was a rather clever idea for someone to build a base at such a location: there were no bothersome neighbors, no annoying creatures, not to mention that not even magic could spy on the spot. Thinking about it, Theo would have much preferred to have been reincarnated there. At least then he’d be guaranteed some peace and quiet.

“How much energy would it take to move there?” he asked, trying to sound casual.

That would be completely impossible, sir, Spok said flatly. For one thing, it’s impossible for you to move within such a zone. At best, you’ll be located at the edge of it. Furthermore, your core will require twice as many resources to keep itself from depleting, and you’ll have to create a lot of high-powered named minions to procure those resources. In short, it would be like living in a swamp: you won’t see the issues right away, but as the years go by, you’d slowly sink deeper and deeper, until you’re completely swallowed up. And even if that wasn’t the case, the weather is absolutely terrible. Cursed zones often come with sudden storms.

There went that idea.

“What sort of maniac would live in such a sort of place?”

I have no idea, sir. However, there’s no guarantee that you are there. It’s just as possible that there you’re in the vicinity of a powerful anti-magic artifact.

Blinded by the plausibility of the argument, the dungeon asked no more questions. Instead, it continued roaming about with its avatar until it was finally dawn. One interesting observation was that precisely a minute before dawn, Liandra woke up. Her first reaction was to look around for a place to relieve herself. Unfortunately, such a place didn’t exist. Even in the morning twilight, one could see that the area was as flat as a plate with no trees, rocks, bushes, or anything that could be used for cover.

Feeling bad for her, Theo used his dungeon magic to create a small outhouse. The gesture was very much appreciated, as was the miniature well that followed. If nothing else, it was clearly established that the anti-magic field didn’t extend to creation magic. Maybe its effect had been depleted after all.

“I was right,” Liandra said the moment she was fully set up. “We’re at the Mandrake Mountains.”

The mountain chain looked quite unassuming, as if the deities had gathered all the extra bits from the creation of the world and had stashed them there. Large cliffs extended both directions as far as the eye could see. None of them were terribly high—a few thousand feet at most—but they were steep enough to make them all but impossible to cross.

“You think the evil overlord is hiding there?” Theo asked.

“There’s no better place to hide.”

“How will we know exactly where they are hiding, though? The mountain range is quite big. It will take us years to explore it all. By the time we finish, the thieves will have died out of old age.”

“Still on about the Claw gang?” The heroine shook her head.

“Just sharing my perspective.” Theo crossed his arms. Even he was starting to feel that constantly pointing out the obvious was starting to get old.

“You’re right, though. It’ll take quite a while to find the spot. Unless…” The woman looked at Theo.

“Unless?”

The first few moments, Theo expected an answer. After several more, he tried to come up with one on his own. Then it hit him—he was expected to provide the solution.

“You want me to fly us closer…” he narrowed his eyes. That was the reason why he hated volunteering. Even when he came up with a good idea, he would always end up being the one that had to do the actual work.

Show someone a clever combination of skills and they start treating you like a taxi, the dungeon grumbled to himself. Still, he did make two aether shields around each of them, then used his dungeon levitation ability to lift them up and move them in the direction of the mountains.

Meanwhile, back in Rosewind, Cmyk left for his daily routine. Between Spok and Theo’s orders and the minion’s friends, there was enough to turn him into a fully functioning citizen. Theo strongly suspected that the majority of the time outside was spent slacking off, but as long as Cmyk bought hay, cleaned Peris’ temple, and didn’t cause too much trouble, he was willing to let the matter slide.

The closer Liandra and the avatar got to the mountain range, the more it seemed like there was nothing to see. The mountainside seemed natural without any traces of settlements past or present, there were no threads of smoke rising to the sky, and definitely no goblin dirigibles. At one point, Theo even focused his attention to the ground below, on the lookout for hay, building pieces, or anything that would have been dropped by the kidnapped victims.

“Don’t bother,” the woman said. “The winds would have swept everything away.”

“That strong?” Theo arched a brow. “Doesn’t seem like we’re having any trouble.”

“We’re lucky. My father used to tell me of wind cones in this region going up and down like tops. Whole armies can get swept away if they’re not careful.”

“Why would armies come here?” Theo grunted.

“It’s a good place to attack from. The Mandrake Mountains stretch between eight kingdoms. The reason that most of them aren’t at war is because it’s impossible to go through them. The winds are unpredictable, making it impossible for an army to organize a planned attack. Even if they do manage, they’d be cutting themselves off from any reinforcements or provisions.”

That sounded typical of medieval warfare: go ahead and hope that the opponent would fall before having to think about the consequences. Thinking about it, it did raise a rather interesting question. So far Theo had been in the vicinity of the mountains for half a day and at no point did he see even a sign of the weather worsening. True, the sky was still covered in clouds, but even they seemed to just float there, completely untouched by even the slightest breeze.

“Liandra,” the avatar began, “is there any gnome technology that’s capable of controlling the weather?”

“If there were half the continent would be fighting for it,” the heroine replied. “Someone would have found out, though. It isn’t like that could be done in secret.”

“It doesn’t have to be in secret,” Theo noted. “No one comes here. And even if they do, if the weather is as chaotic as you described, a person wouldn’t think twice.”

This got Liandra’s attention. The woman remained silent for a few moments, then drew one of her boomerang blades.

Almost on cue, a giant ballista bolt smashed through Theo’s aether shield, launching him way back. Any normal person would have died instantly after such a hit. The size of the bolt, combined with its speed was enough to pierce any sort of armor. Being a magical construct, however, all that it resulted was another brief energy drain in the dungeon proper.

This is getting ridiculous, he thought as he pushed the large piece of metal aside. Casting another aether shield, the avatar then propelled himself back in the direction of the mountain. It came as no surprise that more giant projectiles were flying his way. Liandra’s shield had also been shattered, though, thankfully, Theo was able to see her safely on the ground below. That was one thing he didn’t have to worry about.

“Spok, is there a spell that launches giant bolts of iron?” Theo asked while his avatar swiveled between the deadly objects.

Not to my knowledge, the spirit guide replied. Do you want me to create one?

“No. I was just curious.”

On several occasions, Theo attempted to affect the bolts directly via telekinesis. Unfortunately, his invisible enemy had already foreseen this—the bolts were thoroughly anti-mage as well.

Theo was just about to cast a fireball in the direction of the invisible ballistas, when suddenly all attacks stopped.

“Theo!” Liandra shouted from below. “Are you alright?”

“Perfectly,” he replied. “What about y—"

The question was never finished as a loud grinding sound filled the air, like a series of nearby thunders. All across the face of the mountain, giant slabs slid to the side, revealing openings to what was within.

There were moments when even a hero and a heroic dungeon would be rendered speechless. Both had suspected that the invisible enemy was in control of a large number of forces, at the very least, enough to send out waves of flying goblins indiscriminately through the land. However, even they couldn’t imagine the might of the army facing them. The openings on the cliff ranged in the dozens, creating the impression that a large part of the mountain range had been completely hollowed out. There were rows of metal ballistas, flying dirigibles, not to mention hundreds of soldiers dressed in full metal armor.

“Halt!” what appeared to be a knight in flashy red armor shouted. “You, wizard!” He pointed at Theo’s avatar with a crimson red broadsword. “Float down to the ground.”

Trembling with anger, the dungeon obeyed. Few things irritated Theo as much as getting orders yelled at him, especially from people he didn’t like. In this case, though, he didn’t have much choice. Disobeying meant losing his avatar. Although the way things were going, maybe it was better not to get attached to it for much longer.

“You’re in the domain of Lord Mandrake,” the red knight continued. “Surrender, and you won’t be killed.”

“There’s a Lord Mandrake?” Theo whispered as he turned to Liandra.

“Apparently,” she whispered back. “First time I heard about him, though.”

“So, what do we do?” Theo asked. “I won’t do much damage with fireballs from this distance.”

“Save your mana. They’re doing us a favor.” Liandra placed her sword on the ground, then raised her hands above her head. “If they’re so willing to take us inside, let’s oblige.”