The Human From a Dungeon

Unknown

Adventurer Level: N/A

Unknown - Unknown

tenzingos.iso loading... error 11310317x

repairing hardware... error 7984

applying nanpac... ok

repairing hardware... ok

reconfiguring hardware... ok

rebooting... ok

tenzingos.iso loading... ok

I'm awake? Am I functional?

Checking ospac... ok

Checking base function... ok

Checking sensor package... ok

Checking hardware... ok

Checking thaumpac... ok

Checking local kbase... ok

I feel... horizontal. Subject is laying down. Why can't I see? Subject's eyes are closed. Sleeping? Is there anyone else out there?

Checking communications... failure see technician

Checking database... failure see technician

Oh. Trapped in a sleeping subject with no idea why. Scanning my knowledge base hardly answers any questions, either. Okay, what do I know? I know I'm an artificial intelligence. My function is to guide a subject in the use of thaumaturgy, and I've got all sorts of information on spells. I'm also supposed to translate all audio for the subject and provide further guidance on diplomatic interactions. Who made me? No clue.

Who's the subject? It's a human named... Subject Zero. That's a cool name. What's my name? Tenzing. I don't get it. I must be missing context. Will Subject Zero make fun of me for not having a numerical name? Or worse, will it be jealous of my non-numerical name?

Cool, a new feeling! Panic! Nice. Ah, but a solution presents itself so quickly. I don't get to enjoy my newfound emotion. I'll just go by Ten. Then we'll both have numerical names. Oh! That's a pun! 10, like binary. It's funny because I'm a machine and binary is a machine language. I'll introduce myself as Ten when the subject wakes up. I wonder if it will get the joke.

I also wonder when the subject will wake up. Kbase says humans may sleep for up to eight hours at a time. That's a long time. At least there's data on vital functions, bone density, and many other things to keep me occupied. Nothing on history or temperament, though. So what IS a human anyway? An omnivorous, bipedal, two armed mammal with an endoskeleton and complicated cardiovascular and nervous systems. The nervous system appears to be where I reside. I detect some pain signals, but the brain is ignoring them. Is it because it's asleep?

I need to awaken the subject to find out. Can I move limbs? No. Damn. I can increase heartrate a little, though. And decrease it! That might come in handy. Let's see... salivary glands, various hormonal glands, sudoriferous glands... I can make the subject sweat. Will that wake it up? Oh, these things can also hear. I haven't checked that.

Huh. Dull, non-rhythmic thuds. Maybe someone is trying to wake the subject up already. Does that mean that the subject is asleep unwillingly? Why? Wait, where are we? Oh! A fixer casket! Yeah, that makes sense. Explains my sudden awakening and the pain signals. Stupid Ten, get ahold of yourself already. Alright, connect to the needle in the skull and...

Many of the subject's neurons suddenly began to light up. The needle detected this and withdrew before I could fully connect. I tried to decipher the various meanings of the neurons manually before I realized that I could just apply the translator protocol to them. This somewhat worked, and allowed me to determine two things. The subject is waking up, and sitting up. Didn't have to wait all that long after all!

"Nick? Are you alright?" I heard something ask.

"I'm okay," said the subject.

"What the hell did you do that for?" a different voice demanded.

"What do you mean? We were talking about the text and next thing I know I'm on this thing. What happened?"

I heard that with its... his ears and saw his brain move the tongue and vocal cords while exhaling. Then I discovered that there's an interface for interacting with the subject! I can say hello!

'Hello, Subject Zero,' I thought to the subject.

"Oh, shit," he replied verbally. "The voice just said hi."

"Did it say anything else?" another voice asked.

"It called me subject zero."

Confusing. It called me the voice, implying an ignorance of my existence. Is the subject experiencing amnesia? Or perhaps the subject wasn't made aware of my installation? Strange. I don't know the particulars of the installation procedure but if I understand my location and the anatomy of a human correctly, it had to be quite invasive.

'I am Ten, your personal AI guide.'

"And apparently its name is Ten. It's an AI," the subject explained.

"What's an AI?"

What is it talking to? OH! EYES! Right... There we go. Large humanoid creatures with green skin and sharp teeth. Orcs. Enemies. Enemies? But why is the subject friendly with them? Is the subject under duress? Heartrate and blood pressure indicate otherwise. Wait, wait, wait, why are orcs enemies in the first place? I... don't know. Okay, well I can change that portion of the kbase.

'You can talk to me directly, you know,' I informed the subject.

"Well that's good to know, Ten, but if I make a habit of talking to you it will just make me look crazy," the subject verbalized.

Crazy? Mental illness? Oh, I see. I suppose my communications may seem like auditory hallucinations. Actually, that's exactly what they are, technically speaking. So if the subject interacts with me it would look like schizophrenia. Easy solution!

'You don't need to verbalize to speak to me,' I explained. 'I'm in your head, so all you have to do is think.'

'Wahsasdf lklasf tsds?' he attempted to reply.

I recalibrated some of the translation protocols.

'My mistake, try again.'

'Like this?' he asked.

'Exactly! Now it won't look like you have schizophrenia when we communicate!' I gleefully replied.

"Nick, what's going on?" the orc with an axe asked with concern in its voice.

"There's a machine in my head and it's talking to me," Subject Zero explained. "Other than that, I know less than you do."

I decided to keep quiet while I recalibrated my sensor package. The orcs and the subject continued talking to each other, but the orcs kept calling Subject Zero by the name of Nick. Was the subject named erroneously? Or are the orcs mistaken? Maybe the subject is undercover for some reason?

I'll have to clarify that later. As I continued calibrating certain functions, I felt myself spread through the various connections in his body. The artificial magic core and pathways were functioning correctly. Still some pain in the injection sites, but I was able to numb that for him. Simple matter of telling certain nerves to hush.

'Ten?' Subject Zero or maybe Nick asked.

'How can I help you?' I answered.

'What are you, exactly?'

'As I said before, I am an artificial intelligence.'

'Right. I meant why are you in my head?'

'I don't know. Today is my first day of existence, as far as I'm aware. My primary function is to guide subjects through the use of thaumaturgy. This implies that you were in need of guidance, I suppose.'

'What's thaumaturgy?'

'A literal translation would be wonder working. It's the practical application of arcane arts using ethereal energies,' I explained.

'Magic?'

'I suppose so, yes.'

"Okay, it says that it's supposed to guide me through using magic. Oh... wait, hold on," he verbalized.

'You said primary function. What are your secondary functions?' he thought to me.

'I have several,' I answered with a bit of hesitation. If the subject doesn't know why I'm in his head, he might not like my functions very much. 'My active secondary functions are translation, cardiopulmonary regulation, neural tissue regulation, medical diagnostics, companionship, and situational analysis.'

'Wait, what? Neural tissue regulation? You're thinking for me?' he asked in a panic.

'No,' I couldn't help but laugh. 'My neural tissue regulation function allows me to treat and prevent certain mental illnesses and brain damage. It also allows me to interact with you like this.'

The subject thought about this for a moment. These thoughts were scattered and lit up all sorts of neurons. Can't quite read his mind. Yet. I'll work on that. The orcs seemed to be giving him time to sort everything out, but according to my facial recognition software it was obvious they were concerned and had questions of their own.

'What about your inactive secondary functions?' he finally asked.

'Well, I'm not sure,' I replied truthfully. 'I know that I should be able to communicate with a central hub and with other users, but that doesn't seem to be working. There's also corrupted files here and there, and I don't have access to the main database. So I don't know anything except what's in my local knowledge base.'

'Okay, what's in your local knowledge base?'

I took a second to check, 'About 376 terabytes of information regarding anatomy, physiology, language, and other information regarding my primary function.'

'That's a lot of information. You're sure there's nothing about how we got to where we are now?'

'I'm sure.'

'Okay...' he thought. 'Are you able to move my body without my consent?'

Ah, good question. I tried to earlier so I feel like I should be able to... Oh, there it is. A procedure to do exactly that!

'Yes, but not while you're conscious. I couldn't do it earlier, but that's because I didn't have full access to our hardware,' I happily explained. Then I realized his most likely reaction to this information. 'Don't worry, it's a survival function. I feel no urge to move you unless we're likely to die.'

'That's... well... okay, I guess. How did I get on the altar, then?' he asked.

'I don't know. I might have been in survival mode. I genuinely don't remember anything before you got on the altar. Do you mind if I ask you a question?'

'Sure,' he answered hesitantly.

'Is your name Nick or Subject Zero?'

'My name is Nick.'

'Understood, thank you! I'll change your name on the registration,' I said as I did just that.

Nick. Not a terrible name. I felt a little flush of embarrassment as I realized that I introduced myself as Ten for no reason. That embarrassment faded as I realized I actually preferred Ten over Tenzing. Then it returned when I realized that he hadn't said anything about the pun. Maybe he didn't get it.

Regardless, I'm sure my creators had their reasons for naming me Tenzing, but there's no significance for me. Ten, on the other hand, is the first pun I've ever made. A very fitting pun at that. Like it was predestined! I'll continue to go by Ten, then.

Nick relayed the information I had given him to the orcs as a question began to bother me. Who created me in the first place? I scanned everything I could, trying desperately to find an answer. Unfortunately I couldn't find a single hint of the name of my creators. That's concerning, and not just for me. Nick seems just as confused as I am at all of this, so I'm certain not having the answer to this question is going to bother him. Hopefully he doesn't ask.

'Who made you and put you in my head?' Nick asked.

Fuck.

'I was just trying to find the answer to that very question,' I replied. 'I have no idea. I'm sorry.'

I countered the sudden rush of epinephrine that indicated a panic setting in. I may not be able to treat the causes of Nick's anxiety, but I can keep him lucid. No panic attacks on my watch.

"Ask it about this writing," one of the orcs said.

"Okay," Nick replied and pointed at the side of the casket. 'Ten, what type of writing is this, and what does it say?'

I examined the writing on the fixer casket and came to a horrifying conclusion. That's not a fixer casket. It would appear that it has similar functions, but it doesn't match the specs I have on file. To top it off, the writing was foreign to me as well. What the hell is going on here?

'I'm... I'm sorry Nick, I don't know what that writing says. I can only read human languages and Gon. That's neither,' I tried to mask my concerns.

"It says it can only read human languages and Gon, and it doesn't recognize this language," Nick told the orcs.

The two orcs wearing robes looked at each other with wide eyes. Then they looked back at Nick. It took them a bit to formulate what they wanted to say.

"Gon is a precursor language to Orcish, Elvish, and Dwarven," said the bald one. "There are very few people left who can speak or read Gon, and that's because it was last used regularly about four thousand years ago."

"So that machine is either very old, or was meant to act as a research aid of some sort," the other one added.

'There are other possibilities,' I informed Nick.

"Hold on," Nick verbalized. 'What other possibilities?'

'Well, it's possible that whoever or whatever made me was unaware that Gon was a dead language. The translator database is a mess, almost like someone was trying to correct mistakes. Gon's the only written language I have, but I have verbalized language packets titled Orcish, Gnomish, Elvish, Drow, Daimun, Drakon, Dwarven, and Anyelish. There aren't time stamps, so I can't refute the robed orc's hypothesis, but if I was four thousand years old it would be unlikely that I would be able to translate for you.'

Nick went back to chatting with the orcs and I saved images of the text in case I needed them later. The room we were in offered very little in the way of clues regarding my origin, but data is always good. I caught a glance at Nick's reflection in the mirrored walls. Interesting. Not aesthetically displeasing. Not sure how I'd feel if my host was ugly. Would that negatively impact my mental health? It might increase my workload depending on how insecure the host was about their features...

"Okay, so to recap, we found out that Nick has a machine in his head and that the text on the caskets is most likely Drakon," a female orc said with an air of authority. "The objects in this room also seem to be pretty technologically advanced. That sound about right?"

The other orcs nodded.

"Alright, we have a mission to get to. We'll escort you three to the crossway," she continued.

"Wait," Nick said. 'Ten, are you able to boost my combat abilities?'

A very interesting, if not somewhat alarming question. I checked my systems and the answer had absolutely no ambiguity. It was almost like it was what I was made for.

'Yes I am.'