The Human From a Dungeon

Nash Alta

Adventurer Level: 8

Orc - Nulevan

The Adventurer's Guild. It's hosted within a very plain looking grey bricked building here in Nuleva, but I'd heard that elsewhere the buildings get very fancy. It's said that in one of the gnomish countries their buildings are made of solid gold, but I don't know if I believe that. What's to stop people from shaving bits off when nobody's looking?

Although, as one of the largest multi-national organizations in the world, the Adventurer's Guild could probably afford to replace the shaved bits of their buildings. It's still hard to imagine that they have ultra-luxurious buildings when faced with how mundane their branch in Nuleva is, though.

Things look just as plain on the inside as they do on the outside. I'd expected Nick to be underwhelmed, but his typically stoic face appeared enamored with every little detail surrounding us. The quest board, surrounded by adventurers looking for a good job to match their skills. The gathering area, where you can grab a bite to eat or a pint to drink before setting off. You normally wouldn't eat here after a job, because there are better places to eat in the village. I personally prefer Korno's Fried Food over what the Adventurer's Guild has on offer.

Nick seemed particularly interested in the Trader pit, where an adventuring party was selling loot they'd gotten from a dungeon dive. We'd already explained to Nick that you can buy and sell stuff at the guild when he was being fussy about turning freelancer, but seeing is believing I suppose. The pit's where I bought my axe.

"Hi there!" Nima greeted us. "How can I help you?"

"Hi Nima," Yulk said. "We'd like to register Nick as an adventurer."

"Oh, you're the human, aren't you?" she asked.

Nick stammered an affirmative. Most of the people that frequent Nuleva are used to seeing Nima around, so it took me a second to realize what had the boy nervous. Then I realized that he didn't have anything NOT to be nervous about. Nima is notable for her beauty, wears barely anything, and above all else is seven feet tall. Heh, above all else.

Orc women don't typically get as tall as our men do, but Nima is related to Alurn so I guess it makes sense. That whole family is huge. If I remember right, she's his half-sister but they're not close. Alurn's dad ran off on Nima's mom or something. Considering how similar Nima and her mom look, I can't even begin to fathom why he would run off.

"Alright, so we'll have you fill out some forms and then we'll get you connected to the Curaguard to determine your level. Then we'll do your newbie brief," she explained.

"O-okay," came Nick's suave reply.

I couldn't help but grin. From Nick's height there was no way to maintain proper eye contact and avoid staring at Nima's head-sized breasts. Instead, he was staring firmly at the counter like a well-trained pupper trying to avoid gazing longingly at their owner's food. Most of the other races have difficulty not staring, and I suppose humans are no different.

My amusement was cut short when I realized that I might have to have an awkward conversation with the boy about orc sexual compatibility. Namely, the lack thereof. Maybe I can pawn it off on Yulk. He's much more open about such discussions and would probably be better at it. I glanced at him, but he was studying Nick with a slightly confused look on his face. Oh, right... he's a dunce when it comes to sexuality. Shit.

"Here you go!" Nima said as she set a packet on the counter. "There are pencils at the table over there. Fill these out and bring them back, okay?"

"Y-yeah. Thank you," Nick stammered.

Nima and I made eye contact and she smiled knowingly. I grinned in response as we turned to head to the gathering area. She had previously made it clear that she likes me, but I wasn't ready to commit just yet. I don't have the finances to give her the life she deserves.

Instead, we'd made a deal that when I get to level ten we'd try dating and see where things went. When you hit level ten you get access to better paying jobs and fifty percent of the retail value of the goods you sell, which would give me enough money to support mom and properly court Nima. We'd made this deal last year when I was only level six, and I'd been grinding hard ever since.

"I... um..." Nick said as we got to one of the tables. "I can't read this."

"What?" I asked.

"I don't understand this writing," he clarified.

"But you speak perfect Orcish, how are you unable to read it?" I demanded.

"Probably the same way you can't," Yulk said, causing me to flinch. "This is something that I've been thinking about, though. Why is it that you can speak Orcish, Nick?"

"I'm not, I'm speaking English," Nick replied. "I thought you were speaking English. What the hell is going on?"

That's what I would like to know. English? I'd never heard of English. Must be a language from his world or whatever. But in this world, there are only eight languages. Orcish, Elvish, Daimun, Drow, Drakon, Dwarven, Gnomish, and Anyelish. They're all similar enough that it's easy to learn to speak and understand them.

Yulk taught me how to speak them when he got back from schooling around. It was pretty fun until we got to the writing part. I can't seem to wrap my head around letters and words, no matter what language they're in. Don't have that problem with math, though. Numbers are nice.

"Maybe it's a skill?" Yulk ventured.

"It's not on my skill list, though," Nick said.

"Hmm," Yulk pondered for a moment. "Is your skill list ability listed on your skill list?"

"No..."

"Then maybe whatever is allowing you to see your skill list is also automatically translating what you hear and say."

"Yeah, yeah," I interrupted impatiently. "You might be able to speak all the languages. Congrats, whatever. Problem is, you can't read them. Have Yulk fill out the forms for you like he did for me."

The two of them looked at me with blank expressions, as if they hadn't already thought of that solution and were surprised that I was the one that came up with it. I crossed my arms and glared back at them.

"What the hell are you lookin' at? You didn't think of that?" I demanded. "I'm supposed to be the dumb one. We're gonna be in real trouble if it turns out that I'm the smartest of the three of us."

"Fair enough," Yulk replied. "But I'll have you know that dumb means you're not able to talk. So just by the merit of being able to yell at us, you're not..."

"Whatever," I interrupted. "Just get the fuckin' forms filled out."

Yulk grinned at me and grabbed the forms from Nick. He began reading aloud as I sat down next to them. The questionnaire portion went by fairly easily, except for a couple of parts. We had to add our own answer to "species" and there was some confusion when it came to the "race" part.

Turns out that Nick's world had a different definition of race than ours, so Yulk explained that your race was based off of where your parents are based. So Nick is an "American Human", his children would also be American Humans, but his grandchildren would be Nulevan Humans. Assuming he found other humans and had children, and those children stuck around Nuleva.

Yulk began to explain the various reason's why one's race was accounted for and I zoned out. International diversity treaties and bans are boring. Instead, I thought about what life would be like with Nima. We'd date for a year or two then have a nice year-long engagement followed by a wedding, if all went well.

I've even planned out our first date. I'll come by with a gift, a nice sixteen inch engraved hunting knife, and take her out to dinner at Korno's. Then we'll swing by the training arena and watch people spar until the sun goes down, and to wrap up the date we'll stargaze. If she still likes me afterward, then she'll decide what we do on the next date.

Once we get engaged we'll be moving in together. I'll probably have to knock down a wall to give us some more room in my bedroom. It'll be a pain, but we'd also get a bigger living room out of it. Well, unless her mom makes a fuss and has me move in with them instead. I don't think that'll happen, though.

"So if a guild can prove that they've hired a certain amount of Iritons, they'll get access to governmental jobs from Irita. And even bonuses!" Yulk said. "Anyways, onto the disclosures. First is the payment system. Until you're level 5 the guild will be taking a 20% commission on your jobs and giving you a 1% discount on guild related services. You also get 10% of retail for drops you sell to the guild."

"What guild related services?" Nick asked.

"Food, gear, and medical. Well, the medical that you have to pay for, at least," I replied.

"What medical stuff is free?"

"Anything life threatening. The stuff that isn't considered life threatening, like rashes or cosmetic stuff, you've gotta pay for."

"The deals get better as you level up, too," Yulk explained. "When you hit level five the commission drops down to 15% and you get a 5% discount."

"And 25% of retail on your drops," I added. "At level ten it's 10% on the commission, 10% on the discount, 50% of retail on the drops, and access to better paying jobs. Then at level 20 it gets even better. It's 5% commission, 65% of retail, a 15% discount, and no limitations on jobs. At that point if you want a job, it's yours."

"Okay, I get it now," Nick said. "But what are these jobs? I thought you just went in the dungeon and got stuff to sell."

"The jobs vary. There's jobs for going in the dungeon to find specific drops, exterminating monsters in the wastes, escorting travelers, and other things like that," I answered. "The more intense the job's expected to be, the higher the level restriction and pay is. It's not a perfect system, though, so you should be careful about which jobs you accept."

"Fetch quests are an under-five's bread and butter," Yulk added.

"So basically, the higher my level, the less they take from my pay and the more benefits I actually get," Nick said. "Alright."

"This next part's about the examinations," Yulk flapped a page. "You agree to a quarterly review of your level as well as magical, physical, and mental health. You also understand that if you are found to have a health issue you will be required to get treatment before you can accept further jobs. You have the right to decline treatment, and the right to have your level checked at any time."

"Magical health?" Nick asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Like a curse or something wrong with your core."

Yulk sorted the papers in front of Nick and said, "Alright, we're just about through them all. There's still the stuff about the International Merchant Association, other associated guilds, and..."

I stopped listening after Yulk mentioned the International Merchant Association. Woe be unto Nick if he asks a question about the IMA. Yulk will talk his weirdly round ears right off his head. Instead, I decided to check the job board. It would be a while before the over-twenties were ready to go into the dungeon, so hopefully there'd be a nice simple job to take Nick on.

I looked at the board and ignored everything without artwork on it. The pictures drawn by the auto-scribe were great. Realistic and not stylized, so you know exactly what you're lookin' at. I grabbed a few promising ones, one about false-mint, one about a tree with some fruits on it, and one regarding giant rats. I brought the three postings up to Nima.

"Hey, Nima. Yulk and Nick are still fillin' out the paperwork so I'm checkin' out the jobs. Could you read these to me?" I asked.

She looked confused for a second before remembering my issue regarding the written word, and then she looked embarrassed for forgetting. Then there was a smidge of pity in her eyes. I don't like being pitied, but when it's coming from those beautiful eyes, I guess it's alright.

"Aw, sweetie," she replied. "Of course I will. This first one is a gathering mission for false-mint from the forest depths. Fifty leaves are needed."

"Ah, the forest. North or south?"

"It doesn't specify. Just need fifty false-mint leaves from the forest."

"Okay, we might do that one. What's the next one about?"

"Gathering yipples. They want a sack full."

"Where are the yipple trees?" I scratched my neck. It had been years since I went gathering fruit.

"On the edge of the forest leading into the wastes, to the south," she answered.

"The south, that's good. Might do that one too. What about the rats?"

"Let's see... there's a pack of giant rats harassing caravans in the wastes to the south. Reports indicate there's only about a dozen, and the poster is offering two copper per pelt delivered to the guild. It's a level five and over job."

"Well that should be fine. Yulk and I are over-fives, so we can bring Nick along as a party member, right?" I asked, leaning on the counter with my most charming smile.

"Of course," she smiled back. "But you will be censured if he gets killed or crippled, though."

"Fat chance of that," I replied. "Despite appearances, that little fucker can pack a wallop."

"What's this?" Nima asked, feigning shock. "The legendary Nash giving praise to someone? He must be pretty capable."

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up," I chuckled. "Don't tell him I said that, though. He'll go an' get an ego."

"My lips are sealed," she winked.

Our eyes met and we smiled. The rest of the world faded away for a moment, before Yulk's voice snapped me back to reality. I missed what he said, so I looked back to Nima. She looked confused as well, and I got a fuzzy feeling in my chest when I realized she missed it too. We'd been lost in each other's eyes.

"The forms," Yulk slowly stated. "They're done. We're ready for the examinations. What were you two up to?"

"I was accepting some jobs for us to do to pass the time. We got herb and fruit gathering with some hunting in the wastes. Shouldn't take more than a day and a half," I said quickly.

"Herbs and fruit? I thought you guys only eat meat," Nick replied.

"Well we fuckin' season it, we're not animals," I grumbled. "And anyway, these jobs weren't posted by orcs, they were posted by traders and stuff."

"Right. Well what are we hunting?" he asked.

"Giant rats out in the wastes. We're grabbing the plants on the way there."

"Why's it always fuckin' rats?" Nick grumbled under his breath.

"Hey," I countered. "This is an over-five quest. Don't underestimate giant rats. They're more than just a nuisance, they'll take down prey twice your size without a sweat. The only reason you're gonna be able to do this job is cuz Yulk and I are protecting you. Now let's get your exams done so we can head out."

"Which one would you like to start with?" Nima asked the human.

"I'd like to have my level assessed, please," he replied.

"Sure thing!" she said cheerily as she reached into a drawer behind her.

She pulled out a contraption and a metallic guild card and set them on the counter. The contraption that the guild uses to connect someone to the Curaguard is a strange lookin' thing. It's a rectangular box with six stubby legs, one on each corner and two in the middle. Each leg is made of a different metal, and the box itself looks like it's made of obsidian.

She inserted the card in a slot on the part of the box facing us and pressed her fingers into some indents on her side of the box. Blue light spilled out of the top of the box and formed a square in front of us. Then green lights shot out and entered the square, creating numbers, letters, and the palm of a hand. The light took on a mirror-like quality as it hardened, still hovering a few inches above the contraption. Then she fed the forms into the back of the box.

"Alright, please place your hand on the handprint until you feel a slight electric shock," Nima said.

Without saying anything Nick reached out and placed his hand on the hardened light. It was a full ten seconds before Nick winced slightly and withdrew his hand. I shared a look with Yulk. This thing was usually much faster. It made some weird noises that sounded a lot like birds chirping, and then the numbers and letters changed.

Yulk and Nima looked at the letters and numbers with confusion. So did Nick and I, but that's only natural considering our inability to read the damned things. Once the two readers recovered from their confusion, their eyebrows shot up.

"What is it?" I asked, growing impatient.

"He's level five," Yulk answered in a quiet voice.

I looked at him intently trying to figure out if he was joking. When I turned to look at Nima, her expression told me he wasn't.

"Is... Is that rare?" Nick asked.

"Yeah, yeah it is," I replied. "What's his class?"

"Unknown," Nima said.

"Well that figures," I chuckled, turning to Nick. "Mine's unknown too. Has been ever since I hit level seven. Look, don't let your level get to your head. You're still inexperienced, and should follow our lead during the hunt."

"Yeah," he responded. "I will. On the bright side, though, the quest level isn't a problem anymore."

"Smartass," I grumbled.

"Better to be a smartass than a dumbass," Yulk grinned. "Alright, let's get the rest of the exams out of the way."

"Yeah, go on. I'm gonna hang out here for a bit," I said.

Nima, Yulk, and Nick went to the medical portion of the guild hall while I sat at the gathering area. I stared at the three job posters. Level five, huh? I can't help but be a little jealous. It had taken me so long to reach that milestone. So many monsters slain, so many friends lost. All Nick needed was a little training. It might have been even more depressing if we had trained him longer.

I hope he at least lives up to the level.