The House at the Edge

Few days later, I decided to visit Mom once again. My heart was heavy with regret and guilt as I prepared to visit my mother. I knew I had to apologize to her for my earlier outburst. Unfortunately, when I invited my father to come with me, he declined, saying that my mother already had me so it should be fine. He also mentioned being too busy with work to join. Disappointed but understanding, I made my way to the hospital alone.

I couldn't help but notice how my father's behaviour had changed lately. He would come home late at night, long after I had already gone to bed. He would hardly eat with us anymore, always claiming he had work to do at home.

His absence from our usual family dinners and conversations had created a sense of distance between us. I longed for the days when we would sit together and share our day, but it seemed like those moments were now a thing of the past.

I tried to brush off my concerns about my father's behavior, telling myself that he was just busy with work. But deep down, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Why was he coming home so late, and why was he always holed up in his room?

However, I pushed these thoughts to the back of my mind, focusing on the task at hand: visiting my mother at the hospital.

As i arrive to the hospital, i had a talk with one of the nurse asking her more about my mother condition.

I approached the hospital nurse, my heart was filled with worry and anticipation.

"Excuse me," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "Is my mother, Emily Roberts, still a patient here? Can you tell me anything about her condition? I haven't seen her in a while and I'm quite worried."

The nurse looked at me with a sympathetic expression and nodded.

"Yes, your mother is still here," she said. "Her condition is stable, but she hasn't spoken or shown any signs of recognition. It's as if she's trapped in her own world, barely aware of her surroundings."

I felt a pang of sadness in my chest upon hearing the nurse's words.

"Thank you," I murmured. "Is it alright if I go see her now?"

I walked down the long hospital corridor, my footsteps echoing against the sterile tiles. My heart felt heavy with trepidation as I approached my mother's room.

As I entered the room, I saw my mother sitting in the same position she was in last time, her eyes staring out the window without any sign of recognition. It seemed like she was a million miles away, trapped in her own mind.

My mother's first question took me by surprise, her words raspy from disuse.

"Where's your father?" her voice was barely a whisper, but the question hung heavily in the air.

I tried to keep my voice steady as I gave her answer.

"I'm sorry mom, but he couldn't make it today," I explained. "He said he has a lot of work to do. But I'm here, don't worry."

I felt a pang of guilt as I realized that my father had been acting differently lately. He seemed more distant and aloof, always preoccupied with work. But I couldn't bring myself to tell my mother about it, as I didn't want to add any more stress or worry to her already fragile state.

"Don't worry, mom," I reassured her, forcing a smile. "Everything is fine, dad just has a lot on his plate at the moment. Just focus on getting better, okay?"

My mother's eyes met mine, but they lacked any spark of recognition. She just stared at me silently, her expression unreadable.

I shifted awkwardly under her gaze, feeling a wave of helplessness wash over me. It was like talking to a stranger.

"How are you feeling, mom?" I asked, hoping for some response, hoping that she would just say something, ANYTHING!.

My mother's unresponsiveness was a dagger in my heart. She just stared at me with empty eyes, her expression blank and unmoving. I desperately tried to reach out to her, hoping against all odds for a hint of recognition, anything to show that she was still the mother I knew.

"How are you feeling, mom?" I repeated, my voice trembling. "Please say something, anything..."

As my mother remained completely unresponsive to my questions, a pang of jealousy and resentment welled up within me. She seemed so distant and unresponsive, her gaze fixed on the distance, no doubt fixated on my father.

I knew it was irrational, but I couldn't help feeling a pang of disappointment that she hadn't inquired about my own well-being.

An ugly thought crept into my mind – was it because I was adopted that she ignored me like this?

"Of course," I thought bitterly. "I'm just the adopted one, I shouldn't have expected anything different."

I feigned indifference, masking the pain that stung my heart.

"Ahh it must because i am just ADOPTED". I thought AGAIN!

I forced myself to maintain a nonchalant expression, even as the hurt and disappointment threatened to well up inside me.

"Oh, right," I said casually, trying to ignore the lump in my throat.

My mother's silence was like a punch to the gut, confirming my worst fears. Her lack of response only added to the feeling of isolation and rejection that consumed me.

I clenched my jaw, struggling to keep my emotions in check.

"So, I guess my presence here means nothing to you then," I muttered, my voice laced with bitterness.

My emotions surged within me, a torrent of frustration, hurt, and desperation. I felt like a substitute, a replacement for someone they had truly wanted. They didn't need me, they just wanted me to be a companion for Alice.

But something deep within me refused to accept that fate.

"No," I whispered, anger and determination fueling my voice.

My emotions boiled over, the pain of feeling like a mere replacement overwhelming me.

"NO!" I exclaimed, my voice trembling with anger and heartbreak. "I am NOT just a replacement! I'm a flesh and blood person with thoughts and feelings, not some sort of substitute to fill a void!"

BUT!.... I WANT TO BE MORE THAN THAT!

My voice cracked as I screamed, the pain and frustration pouring out of me.

"I am so sick of being treated like a replacement!" I cried out. "I'm not just here to fill some hole left by Alice! I have my own identity, my own dreams and aspirations. I want to be more than just some consolation prize!"

I pleaded with my mother, desperation lacing my voice.

"Please, mom," I implored, tears welling up in my eyes. "Please tell me I'm not just a replacement. Tell me that I'm not just trying to fill the void left by Alice. I need to know that I have a place in this family, that I'm not just a substitute. Please, tell me that I'm truly yours..."

I pleaded desperately with my mother, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Please," I whispered, my voice hoarse with emotion. "Please mom, tell me we're a true family. Tell me that you see me as your child, not as a replacement for Alice. Tell me that I mean something to you, that you value me for who I am and not just what I could replace. Just say it mom, please..."

My heart sank as my mother continued to ignore me. Her silence was deafening, and it felt like she was shutting me out completely.

"Please mom, PLEASE!" I cried out desperately. "Say something, anything! I need to know I matter to you, that I'm not just a replacement. Just... just say SOMETHING!"

But she remained silent, her unresponsiveness feeding the feeling of isolation and emptiness that threatened to engulf me.

I stood there, feeling defeated and empty. My mother's silence spoke volumes, and it stung like a dagger to my heart.

"I guess that's it then..." I said quietly, forcing back the tears that threatened to spill. "I'm just a replacement after all. You don't truly see me as your child, as part of this family..."