NOVEL NEXT Chapter 262
“That doesn’t mean it’s absolutely impossible. In this world, nothing is absolute. There is a way.”
Ding!
Unwavering azure eyes.
Inside them shimmered a light stronger than any being.
“Just like ‘Noah’ did, but this time we need to do it in an entirely different way.”
“In a different way…?”
“Unlike her, who rewound the world for the first time. Primavera needs to go back before the Monster of the End appears, step by step, for eons, Noah can intervene to prevent that timeline from falling apart.”
And the price?
“To forsake a name.”
A being with divinity.
A being who bore the name of divinity.
“If she becomes the Nameless One, it’s possible.”
Ding!
Equivalent Exchange.
The very foundation of this world, even gods cannot trifle with it.
Perhaps it could become the truth that transcends everything.
“Of course, the being that consumed my powers didn’t forsake their name to do something righteous like Noah did. That being was an Outsider without a name from the very beginning. But if Noah were to forsake her name, she might lose her self and become a being similar to that. No one can guarantee the outcome. But one thing is certain… Noah will be forgotten in everyone’s memory. A nameless god that no one can ever recall.”
While I listened to Lilith’s words, I dug into my pocket and pulled out a small petal.
A petal left behind by Primavera.
Her wish, unchanged over eons.
The intertwined souls and causality accumulated in an infinitely repeating world.
I might not be able to save the beings of a forgotten world, but the causality to start one world is sufficient.
I saw it in Sirin’s memories, and felt it after I gained divinity.
The power contained in this petal is immense.
What I can do with this petal.
I held it tightly in my hand.
But.
“It’s not enough.”
Lilith shook her head.
“To twist causality that has already been twisted once, a greater price is needed.”
A greater price than that.
“I twisted causality by sacrificing the dignity and souls of all beings living in that world. Furthermore, I turned back time by sacrificing ‘Rubia’s’ soul and my own existence.”
In that process, I had hidden countless keys.
Keys that could lead ‘not me’ to a proper ending.
Keys that allow me to exist as ‘not me’.
I must have paid a high price to prepare those.
“It was not just the soul of Rubia, but the soul of Rubia having a dignity close to that of a god. And although not as much as the current Noah, at that time, ‘Noah’ also possessed divinity.”
The price was.
All the causality and souls scattered across the world.
And the two divinities that ‘I’ and ‘Rubia’ held.
What I have is.
All the accumulated causality and worn-out souls.
And my divinity.
Lilith said.
Her existence, being a god since the beginning, holds more value than the lost divinity.
Then I, too.
My existence, which bears a divinity that can surpass Lilith’s.
Surely, it must have value.
Perhaps, more than the price I paid.
If only that could happen.
I can save ‘myself’.
“That’s correct.”
As if my reasoning was the answer, Lilith nodded slightly.
“But Noah doesn’t want to give up, does she? ‘Noah’ and Rubia both. What Noah desires is to be happy with Rubia and ‘everyone.’ That’s why she’s here now. If she gives that up here… she might lose her divinity.”
Of course, I don’t want to give up.
I have no intention of giving up.
I want to return to Rubia’s embrace.
I want to live happily, laughing with her.
I want to greet the same morning together with her for the rest of my life.
“So… Noah must endure in that uncertain darkness, sacrificing everything, unsure of where the end is. She must endure, perhaps through what could be eternity, without dying or being extinguished. Alone, unremembered by anyone.”
As a human.
As a being with a human heart, it is impossible.
That’s why.
“There’s a being like me, no, a ‘thing’ like me.”
Existing without knowing emotions.
Existing to protect and maintain the world.
Must continue to exist in the future.
“That is a god.”
Ding!
I lifted my head, gazing at Lilith.
The light embedded in her azure eyes sparkled, a light I believed would never shatter.
“It will be much different from what you expect. It can’t be otherwise. The gods Noah encountered in her world, through novels or games, must have been omnipotent. The god the Nameless One desired also had that feeling. Well… if entering a false Paradise means becoming an omnipotent god, but that would be a power limited to the false Paradise.”
In the somewhat heavy atmosphere, Lilith giggled.
Hehe!
“Do you understand if I call it a shelter for cowards?”
“Uh, a shelter for cowards…?”
Hehe!
“Of course, there are gods who purposefully leave the world’s entrance open and engage in combat with Outsiders while passing time, but such gods deteriorate quickly. They cannot fulfill their roles as gods. Thus, the majority of gods live observing their own worlds, though maybe ‘just existing in that place’ would be more accurate.”
The softly curved azure eyes looked at me. They looked straight into my eyes.
Not as if she were looking somewhere else, but a gaze directly aimed at me.
I met that gaze and spoke.
“Then, Lilith… why have you become like this?”
It was a question that could be a bit sensitive, but I simply asked. After all, whether I thought it in my head or spoke it out loud, it would make no difference to Lilith.
“I’ve broken, too.”
Lilith replied nonchalantly.
“I’ve gained emotions.”
“Emotions…?”
“Yes.”
“So, you originally had no emotions, Lilith?”
“Of course. I was an extremely dry cool beauty.”
Ding!
…cool beauty?
Lilith, uttering a word I could only have heard on Earth, shrugged her shoulders.
“Why do you look at me like that? Am I not beautiful?”
Of course, she looks just like Rubia…
“Uh, it’s… true she is beautiful…”
“But?”
Ding!
…the word choice is a bit… making me look older…
“Noah.”
“Y-yes?!”
As expected… she read my inner thoughts.
What do I do.
“I got hurt.”
“I’m s-so sorry…”
Lilith glared at me with a face that truly felt hurt and spread her arms wide.
“Eh… that… is not okay…”
“I said I was hurt!”
“But…”
“Noah. Were you the kind of bad person who pretended not to see someone who was hurt?”
“Uh, ugh…”
“Sigh… this is upsetting. It can’t be helped.”
Now, she truly looked hurt as she began to lower her arms.
I… I had no choice but to leap into her embrace.
“Oh my, hehehe.”
Fluff!
It was soft.
My arms naturally rose and embraced me in a way different from Rubia.
If Rubia’s hug felt like summer,
Lilith’s hug felt like spring.
And yet, in some way, it felt like winter.
Swish, swish – slender fingers wove through my hair and touched the nape of my neck.
“So, Noah… do you still want to save me?”
Leaning against her soft and ticklish touch, I slowly raised my head.
I met her azure eyes.
I gazed into her reflected crimson eyes.
My thoughts ceased.
My worries halted.
I simply opened my mouth to respond.
“Yes.”
The azure eyes trembled.
The crimson ones remained steadfast.
“…Why?”
“Because I want to.”
“But…”
“Uhm… it would be tough. Still, I want to. Because I wouldn’t be here now without ‘me.’ And wouldn’t it be better if everyone could be happy together?”
That is.
That is.
The kind of person who.
“Is a hero.”
And I am.
“The protagonist.”
It was a bit embarrassing to say, but I said it anyway.
After all, Lilith could read my thoughts.
After saying it, my face felt slightly hot, and my body twisted a bit, but I still looked as confidently as I could at Lilith.
After staring at me for a while, Lilith.
“I have a curious question.”
She frowned her face.
“How can you be like this, Noah?”
“Wha-what do you mean…?”
With a deep breath, Lilith’s breath brushed against the tip of my nose.
“In both Earth and here, you must have had it tough. Especially on Earth… you were abandoned by everyone. So why do you possess such a heart?”
“That… kind of heart?”
“Isn’t Noah upset with the world? The world and people that made him suffer for no reason. Do you not resent and despise them?”
Uhm…
I closed my eyes.
Slowly recalling my feelings, my memories.
I thought.
I hated the world, the people.
I can’t say I never thought of that.
When my parents passed away, when I was abandoned by relatives, being called a burden.
When I couldn’t die as I wished.
When there was no one to catch me when I jumped off the rooftop, again and again.
When they never let me die.
When they never loved me.
When there was no one to love me.
When there was no one to look at me.
When there was no one to call my name.
I had thought that everything was resentful and hateful.
That’s why I cried.
That’s why I was in pain.
That’s why I was sad.
That’s why I was despairing.
But.
Thanks to those.
I was able to stop crying and start smiling.
I was able to overcome suffering and find joy.
I could find happiness amidst sorrow.
And in the darkness of despair, I was able to cradle what was brighter than anything else, hope.
Because of that world.
Because of those people.
I, this existence, could be here.
I believe that I, this existence.
That I, now me.
The god Noah.
Could be here.
Therefore.
I cannot hate.
I cannot harbor hatred.
Because those are now part of me.
And.
And.
The world that allowed me to meet Rubia.
The people that allowed me to meet Rubia.
The world Rubia loved.
Everything that fulfilled my dreams and wishes.
I am unable to hate.
I opened my slightly blurry eyes wide.
I gazed into the azure eyes.
Reflected in them, the crimson eyes glimmered with a light brighter than anything.
“That’s truly a crazy conclusion.”
Eek…
“That’s why I’ve come to like you, Noah.”
The wavering azure eyes sparkled.
Brighter and deeper than the conviction in the crimson.
A light that could be called madness sparkled.
“Noah.”
Lilith gently pushed me away.
The face that had filled my vision receded.
“You cannot save yourself.”
The same words as before.
But the target of those words had changed.
“But, I can save you.”
Lilith smiled.
She smiled brightly.
A breathtakingly beautiful smile that could take my breath away.
The smiles she had shown until now could be dismissed as false compared to how bright and sincere that smile was.
With that smile, Lilith placed one hand on her chest and spoke, as if she were truly happy.
“Because the greatest price of all is here.”