The Goal is the Ending Fairy

Won Chaeseo and I headed toward a place without cameras. Where else could trainees go during broadcast filming? Anywhere else would be just more of the same.

A narrow alley connected to the company’s back door. It was a safe spot I had previously confirmed with the staff.

We sat down on a small bench near the entrance.

“……”

“……”

I’d brought her out here on impulse, but the person in question hadn’t said a word since earlier. She just chugged down the plum tea I gave her, glanced at me briefly, then went back to staring at the ground. She seemed like the type whose gaze became restless when troubled.

“Um…”

“Yeah?”

When Won Chaeseo finally spoke, her eyes were still fixed on the ground.

From there, she began explaining her situation. From what I heard, she’d felt burdened by others’ expectations since childhood, and it had only gotten worse as time went on. At some point, her compulsions became dangerous even by her own assessment, and now she was struggling with various anxiety symptoms.

On top of that, she said her debut dates had been repeatedly pushed back even before coming to HON.

“…So was the audition program I tried next. As you know, I didn’t win.”

She kept reaching the brink of victory in every audition she entered, only to fall short. Because of that, the idea that she couldn’t debut without getting first place seemed to have become ingrained in her.

That’s how she continued her explanation. To summarize, she had a first-place obsession due to the pressure of others’ expectations and her desire to debut. It seemed she blamed her delayed debuts on not getting first place in auditions.

“…So when I can’t get first place or when my anxiety about it gets severe, I sometimes end up in this state.”

Won Chaeseo let out a small sigh after explaining everything. She did seem to feel somewhat better after opening up to me.

“So you’re saying your current condition is also because of that reason?”

“Yes.”

Won Chaeseo, appearing relieved, returned to her usual stoic expression.

But I still didn’t quite understand. It wasn’t that I couldn’t understand her feelings – I just had a genuine question about why she was in this state when the performance hadn’t even started yet.

“In the interim evaluation…”

As if my confusion was written all over my face, Won Chaeseo added an explanation before I could even ask.

“Chae Seonha unnie’s team got the best evaluation, right?”

“…They did.”

“I think that’s why.”

That’s why?

After pondering silently for a moment, I soon caught on to something. It seemed her compulsion wasn’t limited to just ranked competitions, but extended to even minor evaluations. So the compulsion must have kicked in at the thought of falling behind Chae Seonha’s team.

“I know I’m being too sensitive. But…”

I could see her grip tightening on the plum tea bottle.

“I don’t want to be like this either, but keep…”

Won Chaeseo couldn’t finish her sentence, but I could guess what she meant to say. I’d thought she was just naturally good at everything, but I hadn’t expected such deep-seated issues.

“Okay. I understand.”

At my acknowledgment, Won Chaeseo lifted her downcast head slightly.

Even I had been thinking things like ‘she’ll do well because she’s Won Chaeseo.’ It meant that everyone’s expectations and trust that she would naturally do well because she was Won Chaeseo had actually become poison, isolating her. Plus, since she’d been appearing on broadcasts from such a young age, comments and various reactions must have played a role too.

“Are you worried about not getting first place in the main performance?”

“…Yes.”

“Because you won’t get the first place benefit?”

“No.”

Won Chaeseo shook her head firmly.

“I’m worried about disappointing the fans who believed in me.”

Ah, I see.

‘Now I completely understand.’

More than immediate debut concerns, she was most worried about letting down those who believed in her. Having identified the main cause of her compulsion, I leaned back comfortably.

“I don’t know if this will be any comfort, but I don’t think you’ll fail to debut just because you miss first place a few times.”

“…Pardon?”

That’s a lie. Of course, because Won Chaeseo won’t be selected for this debut group. Still, I need to offer this sugar-coated comfort now. That’s the only way she’ll be able to show her true abilities in the upcoming main performance.

So I hope Won Chaeseo takes what I’m about to say to heart.

“And even if you don’t get first place, I don’t think your fans will be disappointed in you.”

“Why… do you think that?”

I could hear a slight tremor in her voice. I’m not sure if she’s asking because she really doesn’t understand, or because she’s never considered it before.

I turned my gaze away as I had been watching her silently.

“Because no matter what performance you show, you’ll always be number one to your fans.”

“……”

Another silence falls.

I know it’s cheesy. But regardless, I brought it up because she seemed to be overlooking this point.

Glancing at Won Chaeseo, she had a dazed expression as if she’d been hit on the head. Her eyes were wide open.

‘Was it that profound?’

Slightly massaging my neck in embarrassment, I added more words.

“As much as fans trust you, you should trust them too. When trust only flows one way, it’s natural that you feel burdened.”

“Is that… so.”

The words of agreement came sooner than expected. Her round eyes slowly settled as if in understanding. Though she seemed calmer, she still looked dazed…. I wonder if my words had been quite impactful.

“If you try believing in such people’s existence, wouldn’t you be able to share some of that burden?”

“……”

“But well, this is all just easy to say. So I’ll be here to help if you need anything.”

I let out a soft sigh without realizing it.

“We’re teammates after all.”

It was the same thing I’d said in the bathroom earlier, but I was offering to be her ‘bamboo forest’ again – at least for this mission.

Won Chaeseo’s face, which had been shadowed until now, lit up. Then she nodded her head enthusiastically – really enthusiastically – towards me.

But…

“…I might have focused too much on solutions.”

“No, I actually find that more comforting. Thank you.”

I deliberately spoke that way because I thought she’d prefer it. Anyway, I’m glad it provided some comfort.

“That’s good then. Above all…”

“?”

I gave Won Chaeseo what I hoped was a kind smile. It was my best effort at showing sincerity and support.

“You can just get first place in the main performance, right? What’s the big deal about falling behind a bit in the interim evaluation?”

“Ah… that’s… It’s not that I think our team won’t get first place…”

At those words, Won Chaeseo suddenly started making excuses, quite unlike her usual self.

“Just that today, in the interim evaluation… I thought I couldn’t produce satisfactory results…”

“I know, I know. With a team formed by the first-place contestant, the main performance will naturally be amazing.”

“That…”

At my expectant comment, she stuttered like a malfunctioning robot. Her ears had turned slightly red too – she seemed to be the type who couldn’t handle praise well.

Right.

Come to think of it, I unconsciously said something that might add to her pressure.

“Sorry. Maybe even these kinds of words are burdensome?”

“Ah, no. Unnie is… fine.”

…? I am?

“Because unnie doesn’t have expectations for me.”

“…Huh?”

What’s she talking about?

Before I could understand what she meant, our eyes met. There was quite deep conviction in her gaze. And the fact that she could say such things so calmly suggested she had probably noticed this long ago.

“Why do you think that? Just now, even what I said…”

“Not that kind of thing. Just… it just felt that way usually.”

I thought she was naive, but I guess I was wrong. I suppose because I’d been treating her with thoughts like ‘she’s going to fail to debut anyway,’ she must have sensed it subconsciously.

‘Instead of worrying about others, I should be more careful myself.’

Since she felt that way and I did treat her that way, what excuse could I make here? In times like this, a clean acknowledgment and explanation is better.

“…Don’t misunderstand. I’m someone who doesn’t have expectations for myself either.”

“I thought so. You only look at objectively placed results, unnie.”

“…?”

How does she read me so well?

As I looked at Won Chaeseo with such eyes, she just maintained her usual composed expression.

“Still, in my opinion, unnie should have more expectations for yourself. I’ve never seen a trainee who improved their skills so dramatically in such a short time…”

Moreover, this time she even wore a faint smile.

“Above all, you helped me like this both ‘last time’ and this time.”

“Oh… well, thanks for saying that.”

While I smiled at her outwardly in response, internally I was in a state of emergency.

‘Last time? She received help from me… or rather, this character before? What exactly happened…’

And along with that, another question crossed my mind.

“…Then. Did you pick me this time because I helped you back then?”

“Huh? No. I wouldn’t have picked you if you weren’t good enough.”

Ah, right. She was someone who valued results above all else, that’s right.

“I really picked you because your performance was impressive.”

Won Chaeseo suddenly turned serious. She even clenched her fists tightly as she spoke with great sincerity.

“Yeah, thanks for that too.”

Somehow it felt quite nice. To receive such praise for the performance I showed. That’s probably why I spoke to her with sincerity too.

‘Thanks, huh…’

That was probably the most sincere ‘thanks’ among all the ‘thanks’ I’d said here so far.

* * *

In HON Entertainment’s small consultation room.

The PD and manager were waiting for someone there. With quite anxious hearts at that.

– Creeak

A moment later, the person who pushed open the translucent glass door was none other than Won Chaeseo.

“Trainee Won Chaeseo, have you made up your mind?”

“Yes.”

“Are you really going to quit this program?”

This was why the PD and manager were anxious. Won Chaeseo, one of the program’s popular trainees. There was a possibility she might withdraw from this broadcast midway.

‘The ratings would be so much higher with this kid. This absolutely can’t happen!’

This was what was going through the PD’s mind as they urgently spoke to Won Chaeseo. And it was quite a reasonable thought. There actually was considerable public opinion saying they had to watch the show because of Won Chaeseo.

Won Chaeseo, sitting in front of the two of them, kept her gaze fixed on the white desk. The words that slowly came from her mouth.

“No.”

“Chaeseo-ya. Still, one more time… Huh?”

When she first brought up the word ‘withdrawal’ herself, Won Chaeseo had been very firm. So the manager naturally expected that Won Chaeseo still hadn’t changed her mind. That’s why she started speaking with the intention of persuading her no matter what, but that was her misunderstanding.

“Really?!”

Then the PD beside her also raised their voice, genuinely relieved at Won Chaeseo’s decision.

“That’s such a relief. But why did you suddenly change your mind?”

“There are no cameras here, so feel free to speak comfortably, Trainee Won Chaeseo.”

After briefly rejoicing at Won Chaeseo’s decision, now they were curious about the circumstances that led to her change of mind.

Until just recently, Won Chaeseo had very strongly insisted that she wanted to withdraw after this mission ended. Using the reasoning that she was still lacking a lot and unqualified, at that.

It was a reason that made them wonder ‘Is she really serious?’ especially considering she had achieved first place in the first mission with her skills and recognition.

However, the two people here still couldn’t forget Won Chaeseo’s expression as she gave that nonsensical reason. That dark and anxious expression, as if standing on the edge of a cliff…

It was almost as if she was being chased by someone. Won Chaeseo looked that precarious, and she actually was at her limit.

But she who had been like that came completely changed by 180 degrees. It was natural to be curious about the cause.

“Actually…”

Won Chaeseo answered their question by saying her concerns were resolved well through a conversation with Seo Dan-ah. Even then, she didn’t share the specific contents of their conversation.

“Dan-ah?”

“Trainee Seo Dan-ah… She’s in the same team as Trainee Won Chaeseo, right?”

“Yes.”

After a few more exchanges of conversation, Won Chaeseo was able to leave that room. With much more relief at that. She looked much more energetic than before.

Won Chaeseo, who had been in such poor condition that she considered withdrawing midway. She had hit peak stress today because of the interim evaluation. She had been ready to quit at any moment…

But Seo Dan-ah probably didn’t know. That Won Chaeseo who had been like that regained her vitality thanks to her.

‘I should hurry and practice with unnie.’

Won Chaeseo headed toward the practice room with light steps.