The Fox Hole

Chapter 26: Lots of Guests

– Haru –

I don't know if I succeeded in turning Gabriel into a foodie, but she was happily enjoying a bowl of Angel Hair spaghetti across from Yasaka. I worried a bit about her getting sauce stains on her pristine white Toga, but that worry proved unnecessary as nothing messy seemed to be able to stick to her or her clothes. 

I stood behind the counter in the kitchen, sharpening one of my favorite knives while Enri told me what happened while I was gone. 

"Naruko came in," Enri said, her hands fidgeting with the hem of her apron. "She was… really upset. She said her friend Gaara had been taken by a group called the Akatsuki. She asked for help, and Agnar… he went with her."

I set down the knife and looked at her. "Agnar went with Naruko? That's… interesting." The Dragonborn vs a bunch of terrorist ninjas. I wondered how that was going to work out. Probably not well for them when Agnar started using the Voice. There really wasn't any way to defend against that unless you could also use the Voice. I wanted to know what being hit with it felt like, and Agnar used a shout called FUS ROH DAH on me exactly one time.

Never again… I ended up getting sent flying over 50 feet and crashing into a stack of hay. 

Enri nodded quickly. "He said something about never turning down an adventure." She paused, glancing down at the counter. "And then Rias showed up…"

"Oh? What did she want?" I asked.

"She… she dragged Alice away. She said they were going to have something called a 'spa day.' Alice didn't look like she had a choice and was dragged along by Rias," Enri said. "She offered to take me too, but I didn't want to leave The Fox Hole empty."

I couldn't help but laugh. "A spa day, right after living through a zombie apocalypse." Maybe that was exactly what Alice needed in her life. I said thanks to Enri for sticking around but next time I would have been fine with her going. The restaurant was warded to prevent anyone from stealing anything even if the place was empty.

Enri smiled faintly but didn't say anything. 

I leaned on the counter, thinking it over. I wondered if I should go after Naruko and Aganr and help them? But, I did just get back from an adventure and couldn't keep running out of my restaurant at every opportunity. I figured they'd be fine…

The door to the restaurant opened, and the scent of a werewolf hit me. It wasn't Aela, though. This scent was different. I turned toward the entrance just as Lupusregina Beta walked. She wasn't someone I was expecting to see so soon, especially not without Ainz with her. She had a playful smile on her face as she glanced around the restaurant. 

"Hey there, everybody," Lupusregina said. Her eyes landed on Gabriel, who was sitting with Yasaka at one of the tables. She stiffened slightly but kept moving toward the counter. "Hello again, Haru-kun." That's a really powerful angel over there," Lupusregina said, stopping in front of me. There was a hint of unease in her posture as she pointed toward Gabriel.

"It's nice to see you again, Lupusregina Beta," I said with a smile. "And don't worry. Gabriel is very nice. She probably won't smite you for being a werewolf," I said playfully.

"You can just call me Regina," she replied. "I know my name's a mouthful. And I'd be grateful if she didn't."

Gabriel gave us a small wave, but pretty much went back to talking with Yasaka about business between the Yokai and Heaven. Our territory had really been flourishing lately because of my restaurant.

"Fair enough," I said to regina. "Are you here for some food?"

Regina nodded enthusiastically. "Mhmm. And I came to get to know you better, Haru-kun! Lord Ainz said I could visit whenever I want to! Isn't that great!?"

"It sure is…" I said wistfully. 

…I was having a lot of girls practically throwing themselves at me lately. I kind of wanted them to slow down a bit which is why I didn't immediately jump into a relationship with Naruko. 

As for Shepard and I? I wasn't entirely sure what we could be classified as at this point. We were past friends with benefits since she made it clear she only wanted to sleep with me from now on, but she'd didn't go outright declaring me her boyfriend either. Was that term even still used in the future?

Regina's grin turned mischievous. She leaned forward slightly and sniffed the air. "...You smell like another woman Haru-kun. Did you just have sex?"

I coughed, completely caught off guard. She could smell that too!? I took a shower on the Normandy. Did I need to take another one!?

Enri's expression darkened as she glared at Regina. "That's not an appropriate question!"

Regina smirked at her. "Relax, village girl. I was just teasing."

"Hmph!" Enri pouted and turned her head. She walked back over to Yasaka and Gabriel to refill their cups of tea. 

I was left alone with Regina. She grinned at me, showing off her sharp teeth, and asked what kind of meats I had on the menu?

"Anything but human," I said, giving her a flat look. 

She pouted in response. "I've never eaten a human… I don't think," she said. "My memories from Yggdrasil are a bit foggy…"

That caught my attention. Ainz rarely talked about Yggdrasil, so I couldn't help but be curious. "What do you remember about it?" I asked.

Regina shook her head. "Not much. I never left the Great Tomb of Nazarick until we ended up in the new world. One thing I do remember, though, is that groups of strong people used to try to storm the tomb all the time to kill Lord Ainz and the other Supreme Beings."

She paused for a moment, her expression softening. "Ainz is the last one left, which is why we're all so protective of him."

I didn't pry after that. The memory seemed like a sensitive topic. I couldn't blame her for being protective. I'd seen Albedo beat the hell out of anyone who even hinted at insulting Ainz. She practically cleared half the dance floor at my last party when someone got too drunk and said the wrong thing.

Good times…

I slapped a few filet mignons onto a large cast iron pan, and the sizzling sound immediately caught Regina's attention. Her mouth opened slightly as she stared at the meat, and I swear she was salivating.

"Fresh meat… it smells so good," she said.

"Yeah, it does." My tails swayed happily behind me. Foxes were predators too. Meat was the best. I grabbed a couple of extra steaks and decided to make some for myself while I was at it.

I made sure to keep the steaks well basted with butter as I seared the sides. The aroma filled the kitchen, rich and savory, and I sprinkled a little garlic, salt, and pepper over the sizzling meat. I was keeping things simple but tasty. Once both sides of the steaks were perfectly seared, I took them off the pan and stuck them into the oven to finish cooking.

"Huh? I didn't know there were so many steps to cooking steak," Regina said, watching me closely.

"It depends on the steak," I told her while setting a small timer. "You've got to treat good meat with respect if you want the best flavor. Rushing it just ruins the whole thing."

…

The timer dinged, and I pulled the steaks out of the oven. The smell was mouthwatering, and Regina's eyes widened as I plated the first one. I sliced into it to check the doneness—a perfect medium rare. I plated hers and then started on mine.

"Alright, tell me what you think," I said, sliding her plate across the counter. 

She didn't wait. She grabbed a fork and knife and cut into the steak. The first bite went into her mouth, and she froze for a second before her expression melted into pure delight. "This… this is amazing," she said. "How is this so good?"

"I told you. Respect the meat," I said with a grin, taking a bite of my own steak. I had to admit, it turned out pretty damn good. We ate in comfortable silence for a while, the only sound being the occasional clink of silverware. 

While the two of us were eating, Yasaka and Gabriel slipped out, but they were soon quickly replaced by two more people, and a dog.

"Hey Haru! It's been a while!" Harry said as he walked inside the restaurant. He was accompanied by a shabby dressed wizard along with a large black dog. I would almost have thought the dog was a Yokai in disguise but I sensed no Youki from the animal. It was definitely magical though. There was an intelligence in its eyes, and it actually had more magical power than the poorly dressed wizard nearby.

"Ah, poopoo. Our date got interrupted." Regina said playfully. "I was enjoying it being just you and me," she sounded sincere when she told me that. 

I was surprised I had made such a big impression on her the first time I met her. She wasn't even in The Fox Hole very long when she was purging it of any potential diseases after we fought off the Umbrella zombie army. 

"I'm still here!" Enri huffed, but Regina simply stuck her tongue out playfully at my waitress. Regina clearly had the type of personality that likes teasing people and even I had to admit that Enri's reactions were too cute. 

I shook my head at their antics before turning to Harry and his guests. "Welcome to The Fox Hole. How's school been, Harry?"

"It's been pretty good since I won the first task, but I'm just waiting for something to happen at this point." Harry shrugged. "That's how my luck always goes."

"Fair enough," I said before turning my attention to Harry's guests. 

"It's… nice to meet you." The shabby man said, but it felt like he didn't really mean it. "I'm Remus Lupin. and I was a friend of Harry's father. I'm also a member of the Order of the Phoenix along with Sirius here…" he pointed at the dog that barked at me. 

"The Order of the Flaming Chicken?" I asked playfully and Harry chuckled. 

The dog standing next to Remus and Harry suddenly turned into an actual person! 

I couldn't help myself. I clapped my hands because that transformation was flawless. He might not have been a Yokai, but even they would have been impressed by it.

"It's not the Order of the Flaming Chicken," the man said, scolding me. "The Order of the Phoenix is a prestigious organization headed by the great Albus Dumbledore to battle all the evil in our world."

"Okay…?" I said in confusion. "But isn't that the old man who tried to steal all of Harry's money and mind-controlled him for years?"

Harry glared toward Sirius. "I thought we said you weren't going to cause a scene if I agreed to take you both here," Harry said, crossing his arms.

Sirius shook his head. "We just wanted to look out for you, pup."

"This place clearly hasn't been good for you, Harry," Remus added. "You've been insulting your professors, tossing around forbidden lightning magic, and even consorting with vampires and other dark creatures! You know they're monsters, they're not to be trusted!"

I could see Regina stiffen at that. A low growl escaped her throat as she stepped forward, her amber eyes locked on Remus. "That's rich, especially coming from a fellow werewolf," she said. She closed the distance between them and poked him in the chest. "What's wrong with being a monster, huh!?"

Remus opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, the door to the restaurant opened again. 

"Yes, what is wrong with being a monster?" Serana walked in. Her piercing eyes scanned the room. She nodded at Harry. "Hello, my apprentice," she greeted him before fixing her glare on the two men. "Harry has talked about you two," Serana said. "He said you were both great men, but I certainly don't see it…"

Sirius bristled at that comment. "And who the bloody hell are you supposed to be?"

"Serana," she said simply. "A vampire, yes. And someone who's taught Harry more than you two ever have."

"That's not true," Remus said. "I taught Harry the Patronus charm!"

"And…?" Serana asked. "Is that it? Because I taught him far more than one single spell that only works on a handful of your dimension's dark creatures."

"It can also be used to send messages," Remus grumbled.

"It can?" Harry asked. "Why didn't you tell me that? I could have been sending messages to Hermione!" he said to Remus.

"Heh, the boy learns that the Patronus can send messages and immediately starts thinking about his girl. Just like his old man used to…" Sirius said fondly before shaking his head and glaring at Serana. "Listen here you, I don't want a vampire hanging around my godson any longer. I've been gone a couple months, but Dumbledore filled me in on everything I missed!"

"Me too!" Remus added.

From what I knew of the situation, I was pretty sure neither of them had been told even a shred of the truth when it came to Harry. The boy looked pretty upset to hear them both say that's why they came back to visit him. At Dumbledore's orders. 

"I'm kind of confused, Haru," Regina told me honestly. She was new to the restaurant after all. I chuckled and told her I'd fill her in about all this later. She gave Remus one last threatening glare before walking back over to the counter to finish her steak. "Fake ass werewolf. I bet he even still needs the full moon to transform…" she grumbled to herself. 

I watched as Sirius and Remus kept arguing with Serana. They were completely ignoring the fact that Harry's magical skills now outclassed most of the wizarding world—especially in combat. It was like they were determined to discredit her no matter what. At some point, Sirius lost it and yelled something I couldn't believe.

"I bet you're just trying to seduce Harry for the gold in his vault!" Sirius shouted.

"What?!" Harry shrieked. His face went red, but I couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or rage. Probably both.

Sirius was lucky Agnar was still off in the ninja world. If he had been here, Sirius would've been in for a world of pain. Actually, considering the look on Serana's face, he still might be. She scowled and held up one of her hands. A bone-chilling cold spread across the room as frost began to form on the table nearest to her. Was she about to hit Sirius with an expert-level ice spell?

Sirius and Remus both had their wands aimed at Serana, looking ready to duel.

"Please stop, Mistress. They're not worth it," Harry said as he stepped in between the three of them. "I'm really disappointed in you both. I told you what Dumbledore did to me. I sent you both letters," he said to Remus and Sirius.

Remus shook his head at Harry. "We know you did, Harry. But we know the truth. You clearly don't know what you're talking about. Dumbledore is a good man. He'd never use mind magic on you or try to do anything like stealing your gold."

Harry scoffed at that. "I don't even care about the gold anymore. All the gold in my vault is fake! All the gold in everyone's vaults is fake! I've been slowly emptying my vaults and converting it to Muggle currency so the goblins don't realize I'm onto their scam."

""What!?"" Sirius and Remus said at the same time. Their faces went pale.

I spoke up while nodding. "It's true. I had multiple Yokai test those goblin coins, and all of them proved galleons are fake gold. The wizarding world's gold has all been stolen by those little shits from under your noses."

Serana crossed her arms and snorted. "That's what you get for trusting disgusting creatures like goblins. In Skyrim, we kill them all on sight for a reason…"

Regina nodded. "Goblins might be fellow monsters, but they're the lowest form of monsters. They'd never be allowed to set foot in Nazarick! I thought you were dumb before, being a werewolf and all, but you actually gave all your money to goblins? No wonder you look so poor!" She smirked at Remus while giggling at his misfortune.

I was pretty sure Remus's borderline homeless look had more to do with other factors, but honestly, I wasn't about to correct Regina. I didn't feel like defending a guy who stormed into my restaurant, didn't order anything, and immediately started acting like a dick. 

"Now you're all filling the pup's head with even more lies!" Sirius exclaimed and started waving his wand around. "Harry is no longer coming back here ever again, and if any of you try to stop me, I'll show you why the black family was so feared!" He started threatening all of us and tried to reach out and grab Harry.

Remus did the same, pointing his own stick at Serana and Regina.

I scoffed. Wizards and their sticks. I was just about to summon some foxfire, but it looked like there was no need.

"Sparks!" Harry shouted and a small burst of lightning shot out of his right and left hands. Sirius and Remus both collapsed on the ground and started convulsing as Harry filled their bodies with electricity. He kept shocking them until they passed out on the floor. "...Sorry about them…" Harry said to me and everyone else. "I thought they were visiting to congratulate me for killing a dragon but it looks like Dumbledore sunk his old claws into them as well…"

Serana shook her head at Harry as she reached down and picked up both wands. She snapped them like twigs between her fingers. "Don't apologize for the actions of others, my apprentice."

"Wow, your restaurant is fun Haru-kun!" Regina chuckled. "We got dinner and a show! If that kid wasn't a human I bet he'd be good friends with my sister Narberal Gamma. She loves throwing around lightning magic too!"

I simply hummed in response to Regina as I watched Harry cast a wandless levitation spell. He started moving Remus and Sirius's unconscious bodies toward an empty booth. Hopefully, they'd be more reasonable when they woke up. If not, I'd just ban them from The Fox Hole. I didn't want to do that unless I had to, though. They were Harry's only family, even if they were… very gullible and stupid.

The door to the restaurant opened, and I looked up to see Councilor Tevos saunter in. She looked tired, more so than usual. I was surprised to see her because she almost never came in around dinner time.

"Hello, everyone," the councilor said as she made her way to an empty booth. She gave the two unconscious men no more than a passing glance before sitting down.

I smiled at the blue-skinned woman, and Enri hurried over to take her order.

"I should probably head back now," Regina said with a small pout. "I can come by again, right?"

"Of course you can, Regina. Say hi to Ainz for me," I replied.

Regina headed for the door but jumped back when it was violently thrown open. A group of three men dressed in what I could only describe as medieval clothing strode in, grinning.

"Oi! Some crazy bloke really did open a new pub outside of Winterfell without telling Lord Bolton," the first man said. He was covered in dirt and looked like he hadn't bathed in months.

I didn't discriminate against people from different dimensions, but even Enri, who used to live in the middle of nowhere, made an effort to bathe every day. Now, she just used my shower, of course.

"Lookie here, boys! Look at the set of tits on this wench!" the second man said, pointing at Regina. She glared at him in disgust, but that didn't stop him from stepping forward and trying to blatantly grope her!

Crack!

He screamed a second later when Regina grabbed his wrist and snapped it like a twig.

"She broke me wrist!"

"Damn you, wench!"

"I'd appreciate it if you gentlemen left," I said, the hair on my tails bristling in anger. "Your kind isn't welcome here."

One of the men finally took a good look around the restaurant. His eyes landed on me behind the counter and then darted to Councilor Tevos, who was watching the scene with mild curiosity.

"Oi! This place is full of magic demons! We need to get out of here!"

"We need to tell Lord Bolton 'bout this!"

The three of them scrambled out of my restaurant like frightened rats, and I couldn't help but let out a sigh. I had no doubt a hassle was coming my way soon enough…

Regina growled under her breath. "Those humans were lucky I didn't rip them to pieces for their disrespect. I just didn't want to get your restaurant dirty with their blood." She let out one last huff before storming out of The Fox Hole.

I was thankful for her restraint. Blood is a bitch to scrub out of hardwood floors, even with magic.

"What was that about?" Councilor Tevos asked. "Those humans were very rude."

"Some men are simply pigs," Serana said. She would know, considering how many bandits she'd probably killed in her long lifetime.

Councilor Tevos nodded. "I'm glad my entire race is female."

XXX

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