The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere

Inner Sanctum Underground | 1:02 PM | Third Day

It did. I stared at the object like it might sprout legs and claw my face off. It was an unwelcomely personal intrusion into this already stressful experience.

"Well, this is a shitfest," Zeno said. "It looks like a bomb went off in here."

"What is this place?" Seth asked, glancing around. "What's all this random crap on the floor?"

"This is the Order's initiation chamber, Seth," Kam explained. "We heard about it from grandmaster Amat on the tour. They symbolically surrender some aspect of their personal lives as a show of dedication to the cause - a hobby, a grievance, a dream - leaving behind an object representing it in an unsealed box, open for viewing." She bit her lip. "It's looking as though the 'unsealed' aspect might've been in error."

"Gods, that's right," Zeno said, grimacing. "I'd half forgotten that whole ridiculous tradition. Fuck me, why did the one decently-established organization dedicated to extending the human lifespan have to double up as a moralizing mystery cult?"

"Did you submit a fetish, professor?" Kam asked flatly.

Fang snickered childishly in the background.

"Yeah, I did," Zeno said, shrugging. "I thought about trying to get out of it by making my value as a recruit compared to the average slack-jawed inductee that gets ushered in every few months clear, but █ █ █ █ █ told me it wouldn't be worth the hassle." She looked to the rest of us. "Life lesson for you, kids: No amount of wealth and prestige will ever be enough to let you skip other people's bullshit concept of what's important. Human beings, whether it's at work, home or government, will put their brain dead little tradition over rational self-interest, nine times out of ten. It's nothing but prayer for the modern age - ideological signalling, the sign of a yet-infantile culture."

"Or, you know, people have social rituals to filter out assholes who can't get over themselves for five minutes," Seth said dryly.

Zeno pointed to him. "Don't push me, boy." She shook her head, crossing her arms. "I'll tell you, what we really need to do is redesign the limbic system from scratch. Put an end to this chronic defensiveness endemic to mankind."

"What did you choose to sacrifice...?" I asked her, hoping to minimize my growing understanding of Zeno's worldview.

"I didn't sacrifice shit," she said. "I put a book in the box I'd finished reading at the time as a token gesture - a science fiction novel that was popular at the time." Her eyes scanned the floor. "This might be a good chance to get it back, actually - it was a first edition. Though, I think it might've been before those had Scants on them."

A Scant was slang for a simple arcane seal that would change its nature on contact with the Power - pertinently, replication techniques. They were used to create an artificial scarcity on products designed to be collectors items, and occasionally placed on legally significant documents like deeds. Applying them was a great way to make piles of easy luxury credit as a barely-trained arcanist, assuming you could stand sitting in place and casting the same incantation over and over for hours while knowing you were participating in meaningless economic parasitism.

"What do you guys think happened here?" Fang asked, their eyes wandering curiously.

"Hardly seems a mystery," Kamrusepa said, looking through some of the objects herself. "Hamilcar likely made a wreck of the place, either as some statement pertaining to his intentions, or simply to create a distraction for anyone who might venture after him. Which, if so, is working quite nicely."

"Or it's a trap," Seth said, narrowing his eyes. "Ran, do you divine anything strange going on around here?"

"No, nothing," she said, her voice echoing in our eyes. "But I wouldn't recommend wasting too much time."

"Hamilcar would be the last person to do something like this," Zeno said, frowning. "He always presented himself as the custodian of all the antiquated crap in this organization, and even if that was just keeping appearances, the man has grace. Regardless of how stupid I find the whole concept behind the display here, I can still call a spade a spade when it comes to mindless vandalism. He wouldn't be so tasteless." She bit the edge of her thumb. "And besides, this could have happened at any point over the last 24 hours. Barely anyone comes down here."

"You're still doubting he's the culprit," Kamrusepa inferred.

"Don't put words in my mouth, little girl," Zeno said, irked. "I don't take action without conviction; I'm here because I intend to get answers from the prick one way or another. What I'm saying is that I think this is more likely the work of his accomplice." She glanced at the portrait on the Induction Bed. "...or, alternatively, it could have been someone merely frustrated by the vindication of a certain individual yesterday afternoon."

"Yeah, sorry to bring this up again, but. Why is there a portrait of Su here?" Seth asked. "I mean... It sounds like you're saying it belonged to her grandfather, but didn't he join the Order centuries before she was even born?"

Zeno smirked at this, then giggled with amusement. "Is that who you think it is?" She gave me another of those creepy knowing looks.

I was frustrated that, since we were wearing masks, I couldn't signal how desperate I was for the topic to move along as much I'd normally be able to to. I looked down at the portrait and the Induction Bed, the two together bringing my ugliest memories to mind. If it wouldn't have looked obscenely childish, I'd have knocked the thing over.

Fortunately, my posture was apparently enough of an indicator, as Kamrusepa cut Seth off before he could ask for clarification. "Why would Su's grandfather leave his object behind, if he was expelled from the Order?"

"We were of like minds," Zeno said dismissively. "While he had a friendlier nature than myself and more of a tolerance for humoring idiots, you can bet he didn't really give a damn. Which is why whatever statement the person who did this was making falls flat. He wasn't a hypocrite, he was just polite."

Is that what they were trying to say? I wasn't so sure.

"What a farce," Zeno said, as she looked at the inscription on the base of the statue. "'Let us be the last'. As if the phrase isn't illogical at a foundational level. If a means were discovered to extend one's lifespan indefinitely, it would by definition benefit the discoverer. We could do so much better than a platitude of selfless intent that doesn't survive a moment's serious introspection."

"Neferuaten made it sound as though it was more about the sentiment," I said. "Of only choosing to pursue immortal life if it wasn't for one's own sake, to not give the Order the reputation that's usually associated with pursuing immortality."

She rolled her eyes. "I won't speak personally ill of the dead, but suffice it to say, trying to appease the masses is a fool's errand. The average moron is only capable of making judgements by regurgitating whatever tropes the media has fed them, and even then, only the recent ones - just look at how fast public sentiment changed in favor of longevity research as soon as the Old Yru Convention changed its tune." She kicked a bottle (presumably representing someone's drinking problem) to the side as she strolled to the other side of the room, still looking around. "It'd take a little too long to tell the story of how we got the Biological Continuity Oath re-interpreted in our favor, but let me assure you it had nothing to do with winning hearts and minds."

Kamrusepa made what looked like a curious frown, such as I could tell. "You had a direct hand in it?"

"Oh yes," Zeno said, sounding pleased with themselves. "I bet you'd be surprised to know just how many little changes in policy this organization has affected over the years. Assuming you don't all grow up to become total nobodies, you'll come to understand how much of this world is shaped by the handful of people who possess the vision and intellect to do so, and how utterly irrelevant the opinions of everyone else are." She smiled with what was, by her standards, relative sincerity. "You four are at the top of your class, so you probably have a fair shot."

Seth sighed in irritation, already looking towards the door.

"Hey," Fang said, from the other side of the statue. "Check this out."

I did, and Zeno and Kam followed. On the way, I accidentally stepped on a large, heavily used teddy bear, provoking an uncomfortable frown. In a way, it was a blessing that whoever had trashed the room had trashed it so completely; because there was no way to tell which object was associated with which box, it just felt like stepping through trash, rather than intruding into something deeply personal.

"I'll watch the entrance," Seth said, his tone distant.

...however, what turned out to be waiting for us was an exception to that rule. A single box was clearly separated from the rest, placed neatly against the rear wall of the chamber, and still firmly shut.

"Oh, great," Zeno said. "I suppose we've found the punchline to whatever joke all of this is meant to be, then."

"Can I open this?" Fang asked?

She shrugged. "The idea is they're free for viewing, so go ahead."

Fang wasn't the sort of person to hesitate. They knelt down and popped the clasp on the wooden box without a moment's delay, revealing the contents to all three of us.

However, I didn't process what it was at first. It looked like a totem of sorts - made of a dark, chitinous blue material, carved into a smooth spiral like the head of a drill and adorned with strange little bell-like widgets on strings. But then I saw that it was hollow and had small holes in the side, and the other shoe dropped.

Kamrusepa slowly frowned. "Wait," she said. "Is that a...?"

"Yes," Zeno said, sucking in her lips thoughtfully. "Huh. I never knew he had a connection."

The name on the inside of the lid, as might've been guessed, was Hamilcar of Kane.

When the Ironworkers were rebuilding the world, one resource they had possessed in essentially infinite abundance was time; with the heat death of the universe already concluded and the rest of humanity in stable stasis, there weren't really any ticking clocks or background risks to account for. Combined with the ability to experience time subjectively themselves, this meant that certain questions that would normally be challenging to answer could be approached by unorthodox means.

One of these was the creation of non-iron based lifeforms. On Earth, such creatures had been incredibly rare - only consisting of a few insects and deep sea creatures, while the scarce examples of life found on other worlds were in environments utterly hostile and incompatible with humanity. But after they managed to create the first Plane capable of sustaining life, the Ironworkers had the option of simply letting it evolve on its own, then modifying the results as needed. That first plane was the Diakos, the ring-shaped second plane below the Mimikos, which to this day was covered in dense, alien-colored jungle with more than 10 times its surface area.

The Ironworkers, despite overlooking what was in retrospect a lot of pretty important things, were not stupid. They had accounted for the possibility that creatures within this environment would develop undesirable levels of intelligence that might subvert the reason they were being cultivated to begin with, and had implemented countermeasures.

Unfortunately, there were types of 'intelligence' they weren't quite prepared for.

The Great Interplanar War, which had come at the end of mankind's first great effort at colonizing the Lower Planes, had been the ultimate outcome - despite it being technically fought (well, largely and depending on your definitions) between humans and other humans, all of whom used the Power. As I mentioned, it was a series of events that, while a point of great international pride and solidarity at the time, were regarded increasingly critically by modern historians. But for that same reason, it'd become an uncomfortable topic to talk about. A source of dissonance for modern society, and one still within most people's living memory.

Regardless, I knew enough to recognize this object, and that they had once been incredibly critical to Lower Planar culture. They were called something like 'Utllachs', and though I wasn't sure of the specifics, I understood they were used for storing and cultivating eggs. Even if they no longer had a purpose, being entrusted with one was supposed to be some sort of great honor.

"Huh," Fang said. "...not sure what to do with this information."

"I'm surprised the two of you even know what it is," Zeno said, frowning curiously. "I thought they didn't even bother with the subject for the younger generations."

Kam looked at her skeptically. "You think we just skip 50 years of modern history?"

She scoffed. "Obviously not." She glanced back downward. "I just didn't think you'd have any sense of the context for something specific like this. And since he's been in the order nigh on his whole life, he must've got it before the war, too..." She took the object in her hands, idly inspecting it from different angles, then blew a little air into one of the holes. It produced a hollow sound. "Curious."

"Do you think it could be some sort of hint...?" I asked. "As to his motive, I mean."

Zeno shrugged. "If it is, it's lost on me. I don't know a damn thing about his personal life, aside from the fact that his family is from the Temple States, and the story everyone knows about how he got himself blown up as a kid." She placed the object back down. "I suppose he might've been a parasite-sympathizer of some sort or another in his youth. They were about, even in those days."

"Maybe whoever did this just set it aside out of respect for him," I suggested, choosing to Ignore what Zeno was saying.

"That would rather give the game away, I should think," Kamrusepa said.

I scratched my head. "I guess so."

Zeno rose to her feet. "Well, regardless, we've wasted enough time here, I think. Time to resume our hunt."

We stood up after him. No one seemed to be able to come up with any sort of theory from what we'd just seen - though none of us knew Hamilcar, so that was only to be expected.

Seth joined us as we stepped towards the door. "Feels kinda disrespectful to be leaving the room in a state like this, knowing it's supposed to be so important."

Zeno snorted. "Don't worry your pretty head, boy. Much as I'd love to see the tradition ditched, if we manage to reclaim the sanctuary, it'll be easy enough to use Divination to put everything back in its proper place. And if we don't, then, well. Who cares?" She was already leaving.

We returned back into the hallway, and the path deeper into the underground, towards the central segment. From here on out, it was unfamiliar ground to me, if not to the others. I tried not to let it show on my face as the light from our scepters filled the increasingly narrow and foreboding tunnels.

"You know," Kamrusepa said, "I'd expected to see more of those statues about, other than just the one in there and that one of Phui outside."

"Oh, there used to be more scattered about," Zeno said idly. "In the dining hall, at the other entrance up in the theater... But they were stripped out decades ago during a redecoration." She made a dismissive gesture. "I think they're stored down here somewhere."

"Ah," Kamrusepa said, nodding.

We kept moving forward, taking a left into a much taller, longer tunnel, the stone work becoming circular and smooth, like we were going down the gut of some great beast. And the air grew even more stale, with a strange odor in the air, sharp and vaguely acidic.

My heart had started to race a little as the reality of the upcoming confrontation had set in. Why had I agreed to this?

It'll be okay, a voice soothed me. It's five against one, and your only job is to keep a barrier up around your group, or Zeno if it comes to a duel. Even if she's obnoxious, she's one of the greatest arcanists in the world. Hamilcar is old, but he's average for his experience. He'll lose.

Somehow, it didn't feel particularly comforting to tell myself that. I started to get the chills, shivering a bit. I hoped the heat Ran had told me about would kick in soon.

Kamrusepa stepped over to walk beside me, apparently picking up on my state of mind. "You look a little anxious, Su."

"That's because I am anxious," I said, suppressing my jaw's urge to clatter my teeth. "Aren't you?"

She considered this for a few moments, her eyes thoughtful. "Well, I'm not exactly thrilled about going into potentially lethal danger, even if the odds are slim. This just seemed the only apparent way to act to avoid something worse. And at least we'll be able to collect the data, so this isn't all for nothing."

"That's not what I asked," I said.

"Mm-- I see what you're getting at." She nodded. "Well, I suppose I don't feel visceral fear quite as often as some. There were gunfights in my neighborhood all the time growing up, at least until we moved out into the country. You have to develop a certain fortitude."

"Oh," I said, hesitantly. "That... Makes sense."

She raised an eyebrow. "You really are rather bad at hiding your class guilt, Su."

"Sorry," I my face flushing a bit. "I mean-- I just don't know what to say. That must've been difficult."

"It is what it is," she said. "Zeno had a point about our circumstances in life ultimately being our own to master and overcome, even if they took it to an extent that sounded downright sociopathic." She shook her head. "I swear, I've never found myself in rough philosophical alignment with someone of such vulgar character. It's an unpleasant feeling, to say the least."

Maybe you should question your beliefs, then, I thought, but didn't vocalize.

"Regardless, I suppose the way I fear death feels more like a preemptive sorrow and regret then an outright panic," she went on. "Existential, I suppose."

"it's... The opposite for me, I think," I said, furrowing my brow. "Rather-- I don't feel like dying would be so bad, but I really don't want to be killed."

"Not unreasonable," she said.

"It feels really overwhelming," I went on. "The idea that Zeno could be killed, or betray us, and we'd just be completely hopeless. The others wouldn't be able to do anything. My mind keeps going to this scene where our barrier is being smashed down, and we can't do anything but sit there, knowing in a few moments we'll be ripped to pieces like Bardiya or Durvasa."

"Again, not unreasonable," she said, with a nod. "Though I dare say we could put up a fight even under those circumstances. Loathe as I am to admit it, Fang is quite capable, and it's difficult to kill an arcanist wholly committed to defense and escape." She sighed. "But I imagine that's not what you need to hear. It might be best to simply find some way to distract yourself for the next few minutes."

"I was planning to try and talk to Seth on the way here, like we talked about," I said, lowering my voice. "Since we got cut off before. But I can't even focus enough to think of a way to broach the topic without being too obvious."

"I think we might be a little beyond the point of utility for that plan now, Su," she said. "I'm fairly sure this affair is going to wrap up with the mystery of what the men in our class were doing regrettably unsolved."

"We don't know that," I said. "One of them could be the accomplice."

"Would that matter?" she asked. "So long as Hamilcar is dealt with and the rest of us remain together for the entire night, they'll be nothing more they can do."

It was true. As things stood, so long as we could defeat Hamilcar, there seemed to be only two possible outcomes from that point. The first was one where he revealed the remaining culprit to us, leading to a final confrontation, and - inevitably, with our numbers advantage - a victory. The second was one where he held on to their identity to his last breath, and the rest of us turtled up together for the remainder of the day. So long as Samium and Balthazar remained accounted for, that created a stalemate.

But it wasn't like a stalemate in chess; a result where there was no victor. No, in this case, us merely surviving was a victory. Once we all returned to reality, the window for them would be closed forever. We'd sure as hell never be taking any more trips like this again.

But all of that relied on a critical assumption.

"What if Hamilcar isn't the culprit?" I said. "That Lilith was coached to frame him?"

"Well... It's as Zeno said earlier," she replied carefully. "Regardless of whether or not it's Hamilcar, we know someone is down here. And you yourself proved they had to be the one in contact with Lilith. So the only variable is that we may be taken by surprise concerning their identity."

I frowned. That didn't seem wrong, so... Why did something still feel so off?"

"Though, I will admit we should probably exercise a little concern regarding Seth." She inclined her head towards him subtly. "Let's both keep an eye on him, as well as Zeno, and be prepared to flee in the worst case scenario."

"Mm," I said, with a small nod. "Okay."

I appreciated that Kamrusepa was, in her own way, probably trying to make me feel better, even if this was actually making me even more anxious.

"And when we're through with this, on the way back, I'll try and help you speak with him, if you're still invested in the idea. Since it's increasingly clear you have less manipulative skills then a child trying to angle for better birthday gifts." She adjusted her mask, which seemed to have an uncomfortable fit, slightly. "I suppose I do owe you for dragging you along with my idea to hide what happened to Vijana, since it ended up being so bloody stupid."

This managed to make me smile a little bit. "Thanks, Kam."

She snorted. "Don't thank me until we survive. If we end up getting absolutely murdered in a few minutes, you can rest assured I'll go to my grave feeling very embarrassed for being so cocksure." She shook her head. "Really, now. Going down into this veritable crypt looking for a fight, I feel like a vampire hunter from a pulp novel. It's not like me at all, even if it is for the sake of all humanity."

We continued on for another minute or so in silence, then, finally, made the turn to the elevator chamber, passing through a heavy - though notably now unlocked - door. The room itself was smaller than Ran had made it sound in her account, though still quite large, but there was a much larger departure from what I'd expected than that.

Which was that no elevator was present at all. Just a deep, deep pit, with a distant red glow far beneath.

The scouting golem stood by its side, awaiting our arrival. It couldn't fly, so this was as far as it went.

"Anna and I just performed the final round of incantations. There's less we can do at that range, but it doesn't seem like there's any traps or other defenses down there," Ran told us. "That said, be ready for anything."

"Gotcha," Fang said optimistically, then smacked their hand into their fist. "Alright! Let's take this guy down!"

"Where's the elevator...?" I asked, stupidly.

"At the bottom, where Hamilcar left it when he took it down there, evidently," Zeno said flatly. "We'll have to fly down. Pity to waste the eris, but it can't be helped." Even as she spoke those words, she'd already traced the Form-Levitating Arcana, ascending off the ground.

"I've never flown, uh, vertically downward this much," Seth said, peering off the edge.

"Just keep yourself upright. Fall, but slowly," Zeno said, in a condescending tone. "If you're as naturally gifted as you're hyped up to be, I'm sure you'll manage."

"Good thing we didn't take Theodoros or Ophelia on this venture," Kam said, as she also floated in the air. "I dare say we'd have had to resign right here."

I nodded, but internally wasn't feeling great about this myself. I might not've been afraid of heights, but there were limits.

I spoke the words and took off myself, committing way more eris then I'd likely need just to be on the safe side. Then the five of us assembled together over the pit - the very, very deep pit, practically bottomless - and, after making sure our barriers were aligned properly and our speed was correct, began to slowly descend into the darkness.

It was a strange sensation. Flying using the Power felt sort of like holding yourself very tightly and completely with an additional limb that happened to be outside my body. I felt hyper-conscious of my control over it, of the malleable aura of force enveloping my body, its movements dictated by my mind.

I remembered the day when I first learned to fly, during my stint of obligatory military training at the same time I was attending Oreskios Memorial University. It was a surprisingly easy technique - maybe the easiest, outside of just moving objects telekinetically - that the mind slipped into without much effort, like it had always been ready to start moving in three dimensions, but just lacked the means. But more importantly than that, it was perhaps the first time most people became aware of how almost transhuman you became, and could become, as an arcanist. Doing something that for most people would always be nothing more than a childhood fantasy as if it were no big deal at all.

It was strange to think about, but many of the mundane things that arcanists did, they-- Rather, we only did because of habit or social convention. You could draw enough eris for simple techniques just from your own body and the surrounding environment with practice, partially divorcing you from the need for a scepter, and that point many things were possible. You didn't have to walk. You didn't, as Ptolema had colorfully mentioned earlier, have to use the toilet. You didn't have to eat or drink; you could conjure the things your body needed right into the bloodstream. You didn't even need to breathe, or make use of your five mundane senses. The only primeval aspect of one's humanity that proved difficult to escape was sleep, and even that was close to being rendered obsolete itself by unrelated advancements.

If you let it, having that control over your own biology could warp your state of mind. I remember feeling on that day that I was no one at all - more a ghost, a will lingering around a body then a thing of flesh and blood. I wondered what it would be like to float into the sky, far into space where there was no stimuli at all. To become a being of pure logic, that could dismiss everything mortal about the person I'd been as no longer relevant.

In that long fall, beset by anxiety, those sort of thoughts filled me again. Of that sort of absolute, impossible escape.

I watched the patterns on the wall rise above us over and over again, and felt the gentle warmth coming from below.

"Y'know," Seth said with an awkward laugh, snapping me out of my introspection. "I'm kinda jealous of you wearing trousers at a time like this, Fang." He idly took off his mask as we descended, letting it fall around his neck. After all, we weren't going to run into any golems down here.

"Oh, I didn't think of that," they said. "Yeeeaaah, gotta be pretty breezy, huh?"

"Mm-hmm," he nodded.

"Just be glad you're wearing men's underclothes, Seth," Kam said, eyes narrow. Her curly and frizzy orange hair was not responding well to our presently mixed relationship with gravity, looking as though it was trying to escape in every possible direction at once. "When it comes to upward pressure, the last thing you want is it condensed to a point."

"Hey, who says he's wearing men's underwear?" Fang joked.

Kamrusepa crossed her arms. "Don't be peculiar at a time like this, Fang."

"Sorry, sorry," they said. "I mean. As a group, we are leaning more towards pushing boundaries in general right now, y'know? Never hurts to question your assumptions."

Seth, for his part, laughed a little bit, but it was awkward and stiff. Everyone except Zeno and Fang was probably feeling the pressure from the anxiety by now.

At the time, though, I was barely absorbing the conversation, my mind starting to feel strange and soft. I wondered if it would be poetic for me to die in this place. One lifetime project of my grandfather's at rest with another.

My mind twinged. I need to stop thinking about this.

But how could I make that happen?

My brain offered only one, quite bad, solution.

"So," I said, into the silence and gentle rush of the air. "Three men are standing in a queue at a spot where the fencing is broken on the edge of a tall building, ready to jump."

Kam frowned at me, not yet realizing what was happening. "What?"

"A fourth man arrives, and looks upset. 'Stop!' he cries out, and rushes over to the man at the front of the queue. 'You have so much to live for!' But the first man, in tears, tells him that his life is miserable; nobody loves him, and he hasn't been able to find his purpose. 'Even so, you can't give up so easily,' the fourth man replies. 'I can tell by your custom-tailored suit and good grooming that you are a gentleman of wealth. I'm sure there are luxuries you haven't yet sampled, places you haven't yet visited. Don't you owe it to yourself to at least explore every option first?' He looks conflicted, but eventually he nods, stepping away."

"Dear god," Kam said, eyes widening. "It's one of her jokes."

"Oh man!" Fang said, turning in my direction with an excited smile. "I haven't caught one in ages!"

"I dunno is this is the right time for one of these, Su," Seth said flatly. "Especially about people jumping off buildings. We're in the middle of a quarter mile drop."

"It's actually more akin to a half mile," Zeno said, with a smirk.

"Oh," he said glancing downward. "Great."

"Then he moves on to the second man," I said, unable to stop now that I was rolling. I knew people wouldn't even find it funny, but it couldn't be helped. "He tells him that he's nothing like the first guy - he's socially houses, deep in luxury debt from vices he can't shake, and can't hold a job. 'But I can see you have a family,' the fourth man tells him, spotting a photo in his hand. 'A wife and two children. They surely love you very much. Before going this far, isn't it worth trying to open up to them?' The second man sighs wistfully and concedes, turning to leave."

We were starting to get closer to the bottom, now. The shaft had grown rougher, as Ran had described, and the distant radiance below had now become a more discernible space. I could see what looked like an opening, and a glint of a metal structure, and our bodies were starting to be immersed in red light.

"Finally, he gets to the third man," I continued, "who tells him that he has neither wealth, nor loved ones. 'But isn't that a Principist sigil I see around your neck? If you are a man of God, you surely cannot commit suicide. Whatever pain you're feeling right now, is it really worth squandering the life given to you by your creator?' The man, blinking as if woken from a dream, embraces him, tears running down his face. 'Of course. How I could I be so foolish? You are truly a kind and selfless and clear-sighted man, to all this for but a group of strangers.'"

"Who talks like this?" Seth said, an eyebrow raised. "This joke sounds like it was written in the Mourning Period."

"Maybe it was," Kam said. "Who knows where she gets them."

"But the man replies, 'Are you kidding? I was just fishing for reasons to clear our the queue!' And then he jumps off himself," I finished.

There was a moment of silence. Fang, at least, laughed, looking upwards.

"Not much of a punchline," Seth said. "I mean, unless you count being really depressing as one."

"I'm sorry," I said meekly. "I might've told it wrong. I'm nervous."

"Less an issue with the brickwork and more one with the blueprint in this case, I should think," Kamrusepa said, and wiped her brow. "Good gods, it's getting hot in here."

It was. A stuffy dry heat that seemed to cut right to the middle of my body. I felt sweat dripping down my armpits and over my face, sticky and overwhelming.

"Why do you always tell jokes about people dying, Su?" Kam asked. "It really is rather morbid."

"Because I'm depressed," I said, stating the obvious.

That wasn't the whole answer, but it covered most of the bases.

"I've scarcely met someone our age who isn't," she replied flatly. "But most people aren't quite so characteristic about it."

"I'm not sure this is the right time to be interrogating Su about her mental state, Kam," Seth said.

She sighed. "I'm just trying to--"

Suddenly, the stone walls around us fell away, and I saw it.