Chapter 45 - The Polar Bear and the Fighting Dog Hold Candy in Their Mouths
* * *
After crushing Shin Moon Bear’s head by stomping on it with my foot, I looked around.
There were 8 people, but now they’re all corpses. Just a few minutes ago, they were all alive, but not anymore.
Among them, I killed 6 with my own hands, and I let 1 die by neglecting to act. Although the number of people I killed was much higher at 6, I felt no guilt towards those I killed.
The one I feel guilty about is just 1, Moon Bear.
Even though I knew he had a personality that would never do anything bad, I didn’t trust even my own judgment and didn’t move until I was certain.
Clearly, Moon Bear was alive when I arrived at the warehouse. If I had wanted to save him, I could have saved him anytime.
So if you think about it, the number of people I killed becomes 7. I’m fine with 6, but it’s painful when it becomes 7. That difference of 1 felt heavy to me.
What should I say to Polar Bear?
Should I say they were all dead when I got there?
No, I can’t accept such a lie.
I didn’t want to cover up what I did wrong with lies.
“Buy some candy~ Buy some delicious lollipops~”
It’s painful, but I can’t just stay still. So I left the warehouse and walked. As I was walking, a girl approached me and showed me a bundle of lollipops.
“Mister, won’t you buy just one candy?”
The girl’s condition didn’t look very good. Her clothes were dirty as if they hadn’t been washed, and the shoes she was wearing were worn out.
There are many poor children like this in this world. Because gangsters kill their parents and don’t take responsibility for the children.
Such children have to survive somehow. Whether by selling gum or candy. They can only survive by selling at a higher price than the cost price, even if it means evoking sympathy.
I would have ended up like this too if my mom hadn’t adopted me.
But isn’t the girl afraid of me? I remembered how Shin Moon Bear trembled at the sight of me.
Wouldn’t I look even scarier now, covered in blood and dust? There are gangsters who are scared just by my appearance, but she approaches to sell candy even seeing my current state.
“Aren’t you afraid of me?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m covered in blood and dust right now.”
“Why should that be scary? It’s common in this world.”
The girl tilted her head and asked me instead.
Why should that be scary, it’s common in this world.
“Common…”
Yes, it’s common. In this world, gangsters killing people, killing other gangsters for revenge, gangsters killing each other in wars, corpses piling up one by one and the earth drinking blood,
This is common and everyday in this world.
Even at this moment, people are probably dying somewhere.
But even though it’s common, I can’t get used to it.
I feel nothing when killing those I’ve decided to kill, but it’s painful when someone I didn’t want to die dies.
Especially when I think it’s because I acted like an idiot.
“Not selling candy is probably common too. I’m not in the mood to eat candy today, so I’m leaving.”
“W-wait a moment! What do you mean you’re not in the mood to eat candy? How can that be?”
The girl pouted and grabbed me.
“Candy is! It’s sweet, you know? When you eat it, it melts away any sadness or anger sweetly. It’s absolutely necessary in this world where despair is common!”
“Eating something sweet melts away sadness and anger…”
Whether that’s really true or not.
I don’t know, but the girl’s words sounded quite fantastical.
I like it, so maybe I’ll buy some.
“Alright, I’ll buy some. How much?”
“It’s 1,000 won each.”
Now I don’t want to buy it.
“1,000 won for one Chupa Chups? I’ve never seen such crazy overpricing. If I buy it at the convenience store over there, it’s 300 won.”
“Can’t you buy it thinking of it as a donation…?”
“D-don’t look at me like that. I was just joking a bit.”
I’m weak to cute things.
“How many will you buy?”
“Four.”
“That’s 4,000 won!”
“Ah, I don’t have cash.”
“We take cards too.”
“What street candy seller carries a card reader?”
“It’s common in this world.”
What a crazy world.
After getting ripped off by the candy-selling girl like that, I arrived in front of the house. It’s the semi-basement house I used to enter casually, but now I can’t muster the courage to go in.
But I shouldn’t avoid it.
Forcing myself to be brave, I opened the door and went in.
Eris was still sleeping, breathing softly, and Shizu was watching over her with lifeless eyes as always.
Yu Jin-ri was looking at Eris’s physical condition and writing something in a notebook, and
Polar Bear was kneeling down right where you could see him as soon as the door opened.
“You’re back, boss!”
He bowed deeply as soon as he saw me.
Really, truly, did this cute Polar Bear never kill anyone? If so, where did he get and put on this cute Polar Bear disguise?
Wanting to know for sure, I said.
“Polar Bear, let me ask you one thing.”
“Yes?”
“You really never killed anyone?”
To my question, Polar Bear answered without hesitation.
“You might not believe me, but I really never killed anyone!”
“Then where did you get that girl’s body?”
“I picked this up.”
“Picked up?”
What nonsense is this about picking up a corpse?
“When Sacheon Dangmun was one of the Five Great Sects, the sect leader Tang Shu-wan was looking for a woman’s body. At that time, various candidate corpses were offered, and Tang Shu-wan discarded the cute women’s corpses, saying a sharp woman suited poison and hidden weapons.”
“You picked up one of the discarded corpses then?”
“Yes, the moment Tang Shu-wan became a woman named Tang Xiao-xiao, the corpses were discarded, and I happened to pick up one of them and possessed it because I wanted to play the role of an older sister too. Although it seems like it was too much for someone as weak as me…”
“…Sigh.”
Fuck, why isn’t it that you actually killed someone?
Why are you so stupidly foolish and truly a dumb bear?
Why on earth.
“By the way, boss, what happened to my younger siblings? What about the Sacheon Samsa?”
“I killed the Sacheon Samsa with my own hands. The new Gangnam Samung too. But your younger siblings are dead too.”
“…I see. I guess it was already too late when you arrived, boss.”
Polar Bear lowered his head.
He seemed to be trying hard to act like he was okay, but I could see his lips trembling.
If I let this pass, it would become something that couldn’t be helped.
I wouldn’t receive any criticism.
I could pass it off as if nothing had happened.
But that shouldn’t be.
So I opened my mouth.
“No, Moon Bear could have been saved.”
“What?”
“He could have been saved, but I couldn’t trust.”
“W-what are you trying to say?”
“I couldn’t believe that you guys had never killed anyone, so I wanted to confirm. I didn’t want to save bad guys because putting them through the washing machine is meaningless.”
“……”
“But it wasn’t like that. When I listened, it turned out you guys really never killed anyone. By the time I realized that, it was already too late.”
“I see.”
“…I’m sorry.”
Polar Bear’s voice became stiff.
He was prepared to listen to whatever curses I might throw.
Since he originally had a foul mouth, and especially since I didn’t save his sibling even though I could have.
But Polar Bear didn’t curse.
“No, boss. Would you mind smoking a cigarette with me for a moment?”
“Sure.”
That’s right.
There are many eyes watching here.
Whether he likes it or not, Polar Bear decided to be loyal to Fantasia after being saved by Eris, so he probably couldn’t curse in front of many people.
If he wants to curse freely, it’s right to go outside. I followed him out to hear his curses.
The crimson street where the red sunset dimly illuminates the world.
I leaned against the wall next to Polar Bear and put a cigarette in my mouth.
Polar Bear also took out a cigarette from the front pocket of his hoodie, put it in his mouth, lit it, and then let out a long sigh. The sigh mixed with cigarette smoke spreads widely.
I vaguely thought that now that he had sighed, he would start cursing.
But Polar Bear just stared blankly without saying anything.
Why, why doesn’t he say anything?
Even though I didn’t save Moon Bear when I could have, why isn’t he angry?
As I was looking at him, not understanding, Polar Bear felt my gaze and looked at me. Our eyes met, but he still didn’t say anything.
Frustrated, I asked.
“Why aren’t you saying anything?”
“What should I say?”
“Aren’t you resentful of me? That I didn’t save him even though I could have. That if I had just believed your words, I would have saved him right away, but because I didn’t believe, things turned out like this. Shouldn’t you resent me?”
“If it weren’t for you, boss, we would have died anyway. There’s no reason to resent you.”
Polar Bear continued speaking calmly.
“I’m just grateful that you avenged my siblings. Judging by the state of your clothes, it doesn’t seem like you won easily, and if you didn’t sincerely want revenge, there would have been no reason for you to fight so hard.”
But gradually, sadness mixed into Polar Bear’s voice.
“But how can I resent you, boss? I should resent myself.”
A tear fell from Polar Bear’s eye.
“If I had been strong, my siblings wouldn’t have died in the first place. How ugly would it be if I resented you after asking for your help because I couldn’t protect them?”
The tears flowing down increased, and Polar Bear, seemingly without the strength to stand, leaned against the wall and sat down.
“When I’m the idiot, who am I supposed to resent? Why are you apologizing when it’s not even your fault?”
He couldn’t even smoke anymore after sitting down.
He just cried endlessly.
“I, I understand you, boss. In this world, who would believe that gangsters didn’t kill people? Fuck, I wouldn’t believe it either if I were you. I didn’t expect you to believe.”
So, so I don’t resent you, boss. Because gangsters dying is also too common in this world.
“Fuck, fuck…”
The cigarette had gone out and wasn’t even giving off smoke anymore, but Polar Bear cursed while shedding tears.
Whether he was cursing his weak self,
Or cursing himself for seeming to resent me,
Or if he was cursing me.
Or, all of the above.
I couldn’t tell, but Polar Bear wailed while clawing at his face. He kept cursing, “Fuck, fuck,” endlessly, venting his frustration.
I didn’t know what words I should say to such a Polar Bear. His family-like comrades had died, and I, who could have protected them but didn’t, wouldn’t be able to comfort him no matter what I said.
I just put my hand in my pocket to smoke another cigarette, but I felt the candy. When I felt the candy in my hand, I remembered the girl’s words.
In a world where despair is common, sweet candy melts away sadness and anger.
So I unwrapped the candy and handed it to Polar Bear.
“Sorry, this candy is all I can give you.”
“I don’t want candy. I’m already weak, it makes me look like a child.”
“What does it matter, they say sweet things help when you’re having a hard time.”
Polar Bear stared at the candy for a while, then took it and put it in his mouth. He put it in his mouth, wiped his tears, and was quiet for a moment.
I also put a candy in my mouth next to him. The candy put in my mouth in this painful situation was so sweet that it melted away the guilt that had been tormenting me, showing it as it was.
It makes me vividly aware of what guilt feels like while eliminating it, even though I had been feeling it continuously.
But since I clearly knew the form of guilt, it will probably remain as a scar when the sweetness disappears. Because wounds leave scars, it’s impossible to forget completely forever.
What about Polar Bear?
What is Polar Bear thinking?
Curious, I looked, and Polar Bear was getting up. Dusting off his pants, he said.
“I don’t really like candy. But maybe because you gave it to me, it tastes good.”
And looking at me, Polar Bear smiled weakly.
“I look forward to working with you from now on, boss.”
I can’t know what kind of emotional change Polar Bear went through. But it probably wasn’t different from the change I felt while eating the candy.
The sweetness is temporary, but the scar lasts long.
We will surely never be able to forget today’s events for the rest of our lives, but─
“Yeah, if the candy tastes good, I’ll give you a lot more in the future.”
─ We just have to endure carrying the scars. While relying on each other’s sweetness.
“Actually, I don’t like candy. Don’t give me any.”
“When you tell me not to give you any, it makes me want to give you more.”
“Why do you keep bringing out candy? Are you fucking candy seller?”
“I’ll put one in your mouth every time you curse.”
“No, really, fuck, I don’t like candy.”
“Wow! Candy! Hyeonu, did you buy this for me?”
“The boss is asking for candy, boss.”
“You still need sweetness.”
“No, fuck, why are you putting it in my mouth?”
“Waaah, Hyeonu gave candy to Polar Bear and not me! I hate Hyeonu! Bad!”
“I have some for the young miss boss too.”
“As expected, Hyeonu is the best! Sweet things are the best!”
Yeah, sweet things are the best.
We’ll need to become stronger to protect this sweetness.
Polar Bear’s eyes were also determined as he looked at Eris.
“Boss, I will protect you even at the cost of my life.”
“Really? I’m counting on you!”
Polar Bear shakes hands with Eris as she extends her hand.
And so, a new family member joined our Fantasia.
* * *
“Everyone should be ready.”
Money Monster’s Jin Guo Psycho looked at the time on his phone.
22:53.
“We’ll execute the plan at 23:00.”
Jin Guo put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it.
“Without the fighting dog, Fantasia has no combatants, so there’s no problem with the plan.”
Eris Selenoor,
Shizu Selenoor,
Yu Jin-ri.
“We’ll take the three as hostages and bring down Fantasia.”
That’s all there is to the plan.
“Well then, shall we start with phase 1, luring out the fighting dog?”