Chapter 20. Perhaps, Forever
As soon as they entered the banquet hall, Renee shivered involuntarily at the barrage of intense stares, muttering, “I really can’t get used to this. Why are they staring at us like this?”
Alexander, escorting Renee, glanced around at her words. Some people turned their gazes away, while others stared even more intently. Chuckling lightly, he replied, “They have plenty of time and nothing to do. Change can be scary, but new things are fun.”
“I get the first part, but what’s the second part supposed to mean?”
“They don’t want to try anything themselves, but they find new people entertaining. Whether they like it or not.”
“Oh, my goodness… After two years, am I still the new person?”
“Perhaps, forever.”
High society was, unexpectedly, a place with very thick walls. This was especially true when a group with a strong sense of privilege and attachment to royal blood held the reins of power.
Because of this, Nina Chamber was often left out, always feeling like an outsider. No matter how expensive her clothes or how grand her parties, to them, she was just the “newcomer”—the outsider.
“So, in other words, I’m just their prey, right?”
And she had become nothing more than a source of entertainment for those idle people.
At her words, he suddenly stopped. When she looked at him questioningly, Alexander met her gaze.
“That’s a bit of a stretch.”
“What?”
“Trying to take what’s mine without permission.”
“…What?”
‘What on earth is this man saying?’
Renee blinked in confusion, and before she could even process what was happening, Alexander reached out and cupped her cheek. Then, before she had time to defend herself, he quickly stole her red, plump lips that were open wide.
‘Wait… what?’
Before she could think about what had just occurred, her body was pulled into his arm, moving almost involuntarily.
Through her slightly blurred vision, she saw several nobles widening their eyes, staring at them. Behind their fans, they were deep in fervent discussion.
“Wh-what was that all of a sudden?”
“Instead of you, they were essentially throwing me to them to be consumed.”
His words were strange, and Renee’s thoughts weren’t quite working properly. The lips that had brushed against hers still tingled, almost as though she had been bitten or devoured.
“I think… I was the one who got eaten, though…”
Renee quipped cheekily, but Alexander muttered in a light laugh. “You didn’t even get a proper taste, so how could you have been eaten?”
‘Is it an illusion that it sounds so unfair?’
‘No. That couldn’t be.’
He was just messing around as usual. He often acted like a scoundrel, so there was no need to read into it. It was probably just another one of his playful pranks.
And even if he really felt aggrieved, what could she do? Throw herself at him to be “consumed”?
Renee pressed her trembling lips together tightly, her face hardening. Her heart raced uncontrollably, but she had to keep a tight grip on her sanity.
Alexander had a way of making people let their guard down and then leaving them feeling utterly empty in an instant.
He was affectionate and nonchalant, kind yet cold. He would act as though being with her was the most delightful thing in the world, but then, in the blink of an eye, he would take away his smile and distance himself.
Don’t come back like this again. It’s disgusting and tiresome…
‘…Yes, just like that words from that day.’
So, she couldn’t allow herself to fall into such delusions. She needed to stay firm. No matter how much he was her one and only first love and the shabby salvation that was offered to her life when she was on the edge of a cliff.
Renee didn’t want to let Alexander carelessly hurt her heart again. He’d said it from the start, I’m just a card to be used and discarded.
There was little time left. She only had to stay vigilant a little longer.
“Hey, over here! This way!” At that moment, Count Tomhiddle, the Minister of Finance, waved his hand, calling them over.
“Mrs. Chambler, you look dazzlingly beautiful today! I’m sure you’re about to start another trend!”
Renee smiled as she slipped into the crowd of people who were greeting them. The hand that had tightly held hers as if they were a loving couple drifted away ever so slightly, almost imperceptibly.
***
Once the set meal was over, the banquet hall fell into a brief lull. (A lull is a period of quiet or calm in a longer period of activity or excitement.)
The ladies gathered in small groups to talk about recent events or upcoming salons, and the men opened card tables or gathered with people who smoked the same cigars to engage in idle chatter.
During this brief pause, a few men gathered around Alexander.
“Well, to witness the Marquis Chambler’s in the act of loving his wife is quite an unexpected event, isn’t it?”
“Do you really love your wife that much, Alexander?”
“Didn’t you see? He couldn’t wait even a moment to kiss her. I didn’t know he was that kind of guy, honestly.”
There were also old acquaintances from Brighton College, and Prince Noah, who had always considered himself Alexander’s rival since their youth. They were all familiar faces from Alexander’s youth.
“Looks like you’re totally gone now, huh? How long has it been—three months?” Prince Noah clinked his glass against Alexander’s whiskey glass, acknowledging him with a grin.
“Yeah, with all his business trips, I bet he hasn’t had much time with his beautiful wife. This guy, though, starts his own company, yet refuses to let the employees do any work. I don’t get it.”
Pale Hite, who made a decent living by managing the vast real estate inherited from his family’s real estate, puffed on a cigar in the corner of his mouth.
“These annoying guys are back again.” Alexander muttered with a small chuckle, watching them slide in when the seat was vacant.
It was amusing how they always appeared when the space was open. These were the same people who just couldn’t seem to get it together.
Alexander, who had been shaking his head, unconsciously turned his head and glanced toward the balcony. He saw the backs of two slender women. One of them was Renee, and the other was the daughter of Marquis Angrias, with whom Renee was quite close.
“He’s just acting like that because he likes her. That guy wouldn’t have any friends if we weren’t around.”
“Isn’t everyone a bit too old to be hanging out with friends all day?”
“We’re still in our prime. Not everyone’s like you, acting like an old man. Whatever, stop talking to me. Let’s play cards. I filled my wallet to the brim just because you were coming. And I’m bringing back the stolen stock from last time.”
Without waiting for Alexander’s consent, the card table was set up.
The room quickly became a hive of activity. Other noblemen who had been lingering around them sneaked in to watch the card game.
As the night deepened, the tenors, sopranos, and musicians who had been singing elegantly withdrew, and a huge gramophone took their place.
From the wide-open mouth like a conch shell, the voice of a famous singer from across the sea filled the room, echoing clearly and beautifully.
Though the guests laughed in tune with the music, a sense of boredom began to settle in. Just as the mood seemed to become too stagnant, Alexander turned his head out of habit, searching for Renee.
Marquis Angrias’ daughter was gone, and Renee was alone.
The hand that was about to hold the card deck stopped in midair.
‘What was she thinking?’
Renee was staring at the sky beyond the balcony. Her face seemed to long for something, almost as if the sky above was her true home, filled with a sense of yearning and nostalgia.
Her gaze was directed somewhere far beyond this place.
A vision, a shimmering white beach, flickered behind her. Perhaps it was time to let her go.
In that instant, Alexander felt as though white sand was pouring down his throat, filling him with an overwhelming sense of loss.
A suffocating feeling, a burning throat, the unpleasant sensation of forcing down something he didn’t want to swallow, clawed its way into his throat.
“What are you doing? Play your card.”
Noah, who had a cigar in his mouth, urged Alexander, tapping his forearm.
Only then did Alexander shake off his pointless thoughts and absentmindedly threw one of the cards he was holding onto the table.
It was a boring time, like slowly drifting across the sea.
They laughed together out of habit, but Alexander had started to lose the ability to understand that enjoyment. He had once shared the same gleam in his eyes, enjoying such moments with them.
“Are you bored? Want to try this? It’s new, and the scent is unique.”
Noah glanced over at Alexander, who had been choosing his cards for a while, and offered him the cigar he was smoking. Alexander shook his head as if uninterested.
“Didn’t you know? The Marquis Chambler doesn’t smoke when he’s with his wife. He’s so devoted to her, you know.”
“What? This heavy smoker?”
“Yes, it’s true, though it’s hard to believe, Your Highness.”
Noah glanced at Alexander in disbelief. In truth, Alexander didn’t pay much attention to what he was saying.
His cards were excellent. A winning hand was practically guaranteed.
Still, Alexander’s attention kept drifting not to the pile of cards that assured his victory, but to the balcony, where someone was standing alone.
His eyes narrowed in that instant. Behind the curtain beside Renee, the silhouette of another person appeared. The shadow was large.
It was a man.