The Dignity of the Chaebol

Don’t get angry, don’t get excited.

This world is no longer mine.

There’s no reason to get worked up or frustrated.

What does it matter?

The person I want to sternly scold, Jeonghoon, isn’t even in this body due to me.

It was when I received permission from Deputy Manager Kim Wonho and was about to leave the office.

“Manager!”

Jeonghoon’s deputy followed me out.

“Are you leaving now?”

“Yes, it seems like I don’t have anything to do… so I think I’ll leave early.”

“Manager, could I talk to you for a moment? Just for a little while.”

What reason would I have to refuse?

Actually, I felt thankful.

This place, Jaegyeong, is the world I created, but there’s no longer a place for me here.

This is as miserable and bitter as it gets.

“You’re going to the underground parking lot, right?”

“No. I just want to walk for a bit… I’ll leave the car here and walk.”

“Then, could we go to the meeting room on the second floor for just a moment?”

“…?”

“I think it would be better for us to talk there, just the two of us, instead of in front of others.”

“Alright. I don’t know what you want to say, but let’s go to the second floor or third floor.”

The meeting room was a stylish, impressive space where you could see the entire view of Seoul from outside the building.

There, Jeonghoon’s deputy handed me a white envelope.

“What is this?”

“This is the money I received from your house earlier.”

***

It’s the same as yesterday.

He handed me the money I had given him and said, “I wasn’t thinking clearly earlier. When you offered me such a large sum, I couldn’t make a rational decision.”

Jeonghyeon-su… this guy…

“And when I took the money at your house, I think I temporarily lost my mind. I feel like I sold my conscience and dignity too easily for ten million won.”

“Conscience and dignity? I didn’t ask you for anything bad when I gave you this money.”

Jeonghoon’s deputy insisted, forcing the envelope into my hand.

“Yes, the requests you made of me were not bad in themselves. But accepting the money for those requests was definitely a problem.”

“I clearly told you. I wanted people to not know about the situation I’m in right now.”

“Of course, I will keep it to myself. I’ll make sure no one else hears about it.”

He was a determined guy.

His eyes were sharp.

“And from now on, if you ask me for something or need help, I will do my best to assist you and provide whatever information you need.”

“Then why are you returning this money?”

“I just want to.”

“What does that mean?”

“I want to return it because I’m part of the HR department, and you’re my superior. It’s my responsibility to keep the personal matters, secrets, family affairs, and financial issues of the company employees confidential.”

“Hmm…”

“I am obligated to do so. No matter who you are, now you’re a member of Jaegyeong, and I’m a deputy in the HR department. I made a wrong decision, and I’m asking for your help so that it doesn’t turn into a mistake.”

“I’ve made many mistakes today.”

“…Yes?”

Yes, I shouldn’t have called Taesan.

And inviting Jeonghoon’s deputy to the hotel was also a mistake.

I should have just waited for things to naturally go back to how they were, and before I closed my eyes, I should have smoked a cigarette and calmly finished this life with a bowl of spicy soup and a shot of soju at Taehwajang. What was I doing, worrying so much about Jaegyeong Group and getting all worked up?

“Jeonghyeon-su.”

“Yes, Manager.”

“If I change and go back to my original self, if I return to who I really am… can you promise that the way I acted today will remain a secret?”

“What do you mean?”

“I told you. I’ll go back to my normal self soon. That’s how it should be.”

After a slight wave of my hand to bid him farewell, I turned to leave.

As I walked away, Jeonghoon’s deputy said behind me,

“I hope the way I saw you today is the real you.”

“…?”

Curious, I turned back to look at him.

“I hope you don’t go back to how you were before.”

“That’s a dangerous thing to say. What if I remember this when I go back to my original self?”

Jeonghoon’s deputy hesitated, perhaps afraid of what I might do with those words.

I smiled lightly, intending to leave, but then I said,

“How can you take back words once they’ve been spoken?”

“What?”

“It’s just how I feel. Even though it wasn’t a long time, after going to the hotel and back to your house with you, I had this thought.”

“What… thought?”

“Unlike yesterday, the manager I see in front of me today—although there are a few strange things about you—somehow seems more reasonable and precise than the oddities. I think you’re actually a very rational and capable person.”

“….”

“If that’s the case, I think I can take good care of you by your side. But I’m not a slave.”

For a moment, I was speechless.

How could Jeonghoon refer to someone as a slave?

Although I didn’t do it, I really had nothing to say, even if I had ten mouths.

“Deputy Jeong, that’s… now…”

“I’m not a slave. It’s true I work here to make money, but I don’t want to become a slave who can easily sell my conscience and dignity for money. If I couldn’t return this money, then I would truly be a slave.”

“I’m really sorry about that.”

“I’m not a slave, so I hope my direct superior is someone like you. Because I don’t want to become a real company slave.”

“….”

“Then go home. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

This time, I called for Jeonghoon’s deputy.

“Jeonghyeon-su.”

“Yes.”

“….”

I hesitated after calling him.

“Please speak, Manager.”

“Is smoking not allowed in the office now?”

“Pardon?”

“I was in the office for two hours today, and I noticed no one was smoking in the office.”

“Yes, of course, smoking isn’t allowed in the office.”

Hearing that it was “obvious,” I couldn’t quite understand what that “obviousness” was.

Weren’t we people who would naturally smoke while working in the office?

But here, that “obviousness” wasn’t obvious anymore, and a different kind of “obviousness” had taken its place.

“Then, is there a designated smoking room, like at the airport?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Do you smoke, Jeonghyeon-su?”

“Would you like one?”

“Yes, if it’s alright, could you show me to the smoking room? I’m really craving a cigarette.”

I had a cigarette and left the company.

Then, I hailed a taxi.

“Hello.”

“Driver, do you know Taehwajang?”

“Taehwajang? A taxi driver in Seoul who doesn’t know Taehwajang? That doesn’t make sense.”

In a world where so much had changed, some things remained unchanged and still retained their form.

“Please take me to Taehwajang.”

“Which Taehwajang? There’s one in Mapo, and others in Jamsil, Nonhyeon… there are several.”

I guess Taehwajang had many branches now.

“I’ll go to the Taehwajang in Mapo.”

“Alright, understood.”

People of this era probably didn’t know, but this taste was definitely not the same as the Taehwajang Yukgaejang from 30 years ago.

And that’s probably why so many people were lined up, waiting for a bowl of Yukgaejang.

The changes at Taehwajang weren’t just about the taste of the Yukgaejang.

The soju, which was hard to distinguish from water, was incredibly weak.

“Do you have a stronger version of soju?”

“A stronger one? Would you like to try Jeju soju?”

“How strong is that?”

“It’s about 23 or 24 degrees.”

“Then bring me a bottle of that.”

But still, the 23-24 degree soju felt like water to me.

What am I doing here?

How can I close my eyes again?

I’m not here because I wanted to be, and I regret coming.

I should have just closed my eyes peacefully. How did I end up here, burdened with worries I didn’t even need?

Yes, I should have just smoked a cigarette, and eaten a bowl of Yukgaejang with rice, sweating and enjoying it as I used to.

The sun hadn’t even set yet.

But I didn’t want to be here anymore, in this world.

It’s not about whether I can adapt or not.

I’m certain that this isn’t where I belong.

I feel like this body is not something I should misuse.

Although I’m scared of closing my eyes again, I must go to where I truly belong.

If I close my eyes thinking I’ll sleep for a bit, everything will be back to normal.

I took a taxi back to my grandson’s house, and after everything, this might be the last time for me in this life, so I took a refreshing bath.

I had eaten, drank, and now, after a final refreshing bath, I would sleep.

Then, everything would be over.

But then, something unexpected happened.

I tried to sleep after the bath, but I couldn’t fall asleep easily.

In the end, I found Jeonghoon’s smartphone and took it out.

Suddenly, I became curious about the photo album feature that Jeonghoon’s deputy had mentioned earlier.

I wondered what Jeonghoon looked like, and since he was my blood, I was also curious about his usual interests, the friends he hung out with, and the people he associated with.

And who knows what might come of it.

While going through his photo album, I might even see Hongjun, who is now leading the company, or perhaps photos of my son and his wife, who must have aged even more since I last closed my eyes.

I was also a bit curious about Jeongtae’s marriage, since he got married too, and I wondered what kind of spouse he had and what kind of family he had built.

So, I placed my face on the smartphone screen and, following what Jeonghoon’s deputy had taught me, activated the face recognition and then pressed the photo album.