Chapter 11
The small stage area, including the Korean Language and Literature Department, was now packed with students.
Most of the taverns were so crowded that there was hardly any room to sit, and the students serving drinks were on the verge of exhaustion.
Even though the exam period was just around the corner, only those who wanted to fully enjoy their youth existed at this moment.
The topics of conversation were as varied as the snacks and tilting glasses on each tavern table.
Among them, there was a recurring topic at the table where students from the Korean Language and Literature Department gathered.
“Isn’t Yoo Jaehee coming today?”
“Oh! Right! He said he has a performance today.”
“Wow, isn’t that a big deal? I hope he does well.”
“Yeah, I hope so too.”
“Suddenly…”
There was no ill will, but they had developed a habit of speaking ill of Yoo Jaehee over time.
The origin of this habit was unknown, but at some point, a negative atmosphere had formed around him.
It wasn’t because they disliked or had a bad opinion of Yoo Jaehee. It was simply because that was how the mood had turned out, and everyone had just followed along.
Though it was not good behavior, some people still had not changed their perception of Yoo Jaehee.
However, some felt excitement just because Yoo Jaehee was going to perform at the festival audition.
The excitement among the Korean Language and Literature students was now split into two distinct directions.
As the sun set, the only lights illuminating the night of March were those from the stage and the taverns.
As intoxication set in, the volume of the crowd’s voices grew louder, and in response, activity on stage began to pick up.
* * *
Next to the stage, in the tent used as the waiting room for performers, there was the unusually quiet Yoo Hyerin, Baek Hyunsoo, and the band members who were still chatting loudly among themselves, along with me, trembling with tension.
[Oh, you seem very nervous.]
“Yeah, I’m more nervous than I thought. I should have taken a calming pill or something.”
Even though I felt okay during walks, facing the actual event made it impossible to avoid anxiety.
[Hmm… So, do you think you’ll perform well?]
“I’m not sure.”
Not being sure was the correct answer.
I had heard that a certain level of nervousness was necessary to perform on stage, but I didn’t know what that “appropriate” level was.
I had no idea if this amount of nervousness would be helpful or obstructive.
My mind wouldn’t settle, as if it were broken.
[Oh… I didn’t expect you to be this nervous.]
“No, it’ll be okay once time passes.”
[Yeah. I can’t really control your mind. Just try to manage your own mindset. Should I disappear for a bit?]
The tone of its voice was considerate.
From the devil’s words, I could feel a sincere wish for my success.
“No, it’s okay. Stay with me.”
Although the presence of the devil usually bothered me, it felt reassuring now.
Even more so than when it had granted me abilities.
I had prepared hard and had the powers given by the devil.
There was no reason to be afraid.
So where was this anxiety coming from?
Perhaps it was because I lacked confidence in myself.
Once again, countless thoughts crossed my mind.
What should my expression be during the performance?
Even though I would be sitting at the piano throughout, how should I handle the details of my movements and expressions?
If they asked me to say something, what should I say?
I could still hear it.
The voices of the crowd coming from the tavern in front of the stage.
A faint childhood memory. The sight of countless stars in the rural sky.
Soon, many eyes would be on the stage, more numerous than those stars.
Every movement would surely be awkward.
These worries tangled into a feeling of nervousness like a tangled thread.
The waves surging somewhere in my heart seemed unwilling to calm down.
[Hey, stop it…]
“Oops, sorry…”
It seemed like I had overthought things again.
[Don’t worry too much about what you can’t do.]
“Okay.”
[No, ugh… You don’t realize it now. You keep focusing on unfamiliar parts and worrying.]
I could sense the devil was on edge from its voice, but it wasn’t hostile.
[Can you sing well?]
“Yes, I can.”
[Are you confident in the song you arranged and your performance?]
“Well…”
It was a yes.
The audience would be the general public, not professionals in the art world.
Since I had been writing songs for professional singers, I was capable of producing quality that would satisfy their ears.
[Then that’s all that matters. Isn’t music what you wanted to do?]
‘……’
[Focus on the essence. Highlight what you can do well and captivate the audience. What are you worrying about? Just make those drinking in the tavern lose their minds!]
There was nothing wrong with that.
Of course, it would be great to do everything perfectly, but that wasn’t possible right now and was an unnecessary worry.
[Imagine. People cheering for your song, your performance, and your arranged work. Even dancing wildly. How would it feel?]
As I briefly calmed my mind and imagined it, the idea of the audience reacting to my song and performance was exhilarating.
[Haha, really? I would want to get on stage right away!]
With the devil’s words adding imagination, I felt my heart beating faster in a different way from before.
Not the stiff, frozen self on stage.
Focusing on the joy and excitement of the audience because of me, the dominant feeling was now excitement rather than nervousness.
[Hehe… Are you suddenly eager to get on stage now?]
“Yeah, um… suddenly I’m looking forward to it.”
Though the nervousness hadn’t entirely disappeared, I felt a bit simple-minded for suddenly getting excited.
Although fear still occupied a corner of my heart, anticipation and excitement covered it, briefly obscuring my vision.
[Even if some people don’t like your performance, it’s okay. Sometimes you listen to music you don’t like.]
“That’s true.”
[And that music, even if it was disliked, could have brought tears of sadness or smiles of joy to someone. Do you agree?]
“I understand what you mean.”
[Don’t worry about anything. Just do your thing. Reactions will follow naturally.]
“Thank you.”
If the devil had disconnected from me earlier, I wouldn’t have received this advice and would still be trembling.
Even I, who usually didn’t care much about others’ opinions, felt rather two-faced at times like this.
[……]
Of course, the devil thought that wasn’t the case…
“Okay, Baek Hyunsoo, you’re up next.”
“Yes.”
The time had come to prepare for the stage.
First, Baek Hyunsoo, then Yoo Hyerin.
And then it would be my turn.
I was relieved not to be the first, but it didn’t matter much now.
With a dependable ally and newfound self-belief, the grand festival at Yesung University was about to begin.
* * *
Baek Hyunsoo’s performance was quite good.
Although he chose a ballad instead of a lively song fitting for the festival, it was still a widely appreciated piece.
His singing ability was undoubtedly solid.
He showcased skills far superior to what was seen during the rehearsal.
It seemed he was the type who didn’t get nervous easily.
[Well, he did alright.]
“Oh, so it sounds that way to your ears too.”
[If I were to be extremely generous, it might sound good.]
“You’re not saying he’s bad.”
[He’s just somewhat better than an average person.]
The devil, known for its picky ears, was unimpressed by Baek Hyunsoo’s impressive skills.
Of course, to me, it was evident that his level was quite good for an average person.
The two with discerning ears merely nodded lightly after watching Baek Hyunsoo’s performance.
But the students, soaked in alcohol, were all enthusiastic.
Baek Hyunsoo’s greatest weapon was his robust hardware and dazzling vocal technique.
Nothing more, nothing less—perfect for a festival.
His talent hit the hearts of the audience precisely and had a tremendous effect.
Next up was Yoo Hyerin.
I had heard she was a freshman who had just turned twenty.
The sight of her walking onto the stage with an acoustic guitar on her back.
She had a very small physique and looked devoid of energy in her steps, yet.
There was an inexplicable aura emanating from her.
[She’s much better.]
“Yeah, Yoo Hyerin’s singing is definitely better than Baek Hyunsoo’s.”
[Baek Hyunsoo has superior hardware. But he’s just like a machine that produces songs.]
“Is it that her emotions are different?”
[Exactly. Didn’t you feel it during the rehearsal?]
“Hmm…”
The devil’s words were right, but I wasn’t sure.
To my ears, Yoo Hyerin’s singing was much more pleasant than Baek Hyunsoo’s, and although it was hard to describe, she felt superior.
But that was just my subjective feeling.
I wasn’t sure how it would be received in a performance setting.
After a brief MC commentary, Yoo Hyerin was ready and took the microphone.
“Hello. I’m Yoo Hyerin from the German Language Department, Class of 2019.”
Her gentle voice made everyone predict what kind of song she would sing.
The devil and I, sitting in the waiting room like during Baek Hyunsoo’s performance, focused on Yoo Hyerin’s voice.
Her guitar began with an arpeggio, resonating throughout the venue.
Yoo Hyerin’s choice was “Letter,” a song by the renowned singer Jae-Rin, who had debuted more than ten years ago.
The original song was also arranged for just an acoustic guitar and was known for its deep emotional impact.
Even though it had been three years since its release, “Letter” was still beloved by many.
After the prelude, which sounded like the wind and waves translated into sound, Yoo Hyerin’s voice gently walked over the guitar.
It was clear and pure.
A lower vocal range.
A voice with more air than sound.
Though it lacked the impact of strong vocal power, there was a resonance that captured attention.
Whether it was due to the atmosphere or the sound of the instruments and voice, the murmur from the tavern seemed to have quieted down.
I was inside the waiting room and couldn’t see the situation outside, but…
[See? Everyone is focused on the song.]
“Wow, I can’t really tell… But it does feel quieter.”
[Yeah, I have good senses.]
Though the devil was inside me, it seemed to have better hearing than I did.
Anyway, Yoo Hyerin continued her performance with a relaxed singing style.
Somehow, I also became absorbed in Yoo Hyerin’s singing.
There was strength in her voice.
Not referring to vocal technique.
There was something more fundamental that captured all my nerves.
“Wow, what’s with her?”
“Her voice is amazing. I’ve never heard anyone sing Jae-Rin’s song this well.”
“Wow, her voice is really good…”
Even those sitting in the tavern, enjoying the festival with drinks, were intensely focused on Yoo Hyerin’s performance.
Despite the song not being a lively festival tune, it was receiving quite a positive reaction.
“Hm…”
[Do you sense something?]
“Yeah, it’s hard to describe, but it feels like I’m learning a lot from this festival.”
[Good attitude.]
After watching the performances of the previous two participants and organizing my thoughts, it seemed that my nervousness had completely dissipated.
Yoo Hyerin finished her performance calmly and left the stage.
“Now, Yoo Jae-Hee, please get ready.”
[Let’s go.]
“Okay.”
Following the staff’s guidance, I headed to the stage.
The first time on a proper stage.
My steps weren’t light, but I didn’t want to run away.
This was my first stage where I could show my true self.
Not a song hidden behind a company’s title, but a song I created myself.
I was heading to the stage to take my first step towards the top.