NOVEL NEXT Chapter 39: Chapter 38
Week 6: Lisa Yadōmaru and Ikkaku Madarame
Mission: Fighting as Foreplay – Futile Foreplay
Day 1
Lisa moved leisurely through the streets as she contemplated her mission. The Visored was never one to procrastinate. She didn't see the logic. It was counterproductive and stupid as far as she was concerned. The third seat of the eleventh had never been of any interest to her before now, so she really didn't know what to expect. Sure she knew who he was, had seen him on numerous occasions, but the two were practically strangers.
Good thing you didn't need to be friends with the man to know he was a little on the crazy side and loved to fight as much as Zaraki Kenpachi, which was why she was headed over to the eleventh division barracks to request a friendly spar. She knew he wouldn't be able to resist. It would be almost too easy.
Although Nanao had wanted to accompany her she'd instructed her successor to stay put and prepare for the meeting with Rangiku and Yoruichi. The president of the SWSS had insisted on giving the former Shinigami a makeover, so later on they would be meeting to discuss what would be done the following day.
Lisa reached the eleventh division just as the sun was setting, turning the sky a breathtaking mix of orange and violet. Not exactly sure where to look first, she wandered aimlessly for almost an hour. 'Where the hell is everyone?' She was beginning to consider heading back, but spotted someone in the distance. As fortune would have it, it turned out to be Coyote Starrk. The former Primera approached her, hands shoved deep in his pockets.
"Where is everybody?" she asked once she was sure he was close enough to hear her.
The Arrancar shrugged. "Probably the same place I'm goin."
"And where would that be?"
"Drinking," he answered flatly.
Lisa rolled her eyes. She didn't have time for this. Rangiku and Yoruichi were probably on the way to meet her, if not already waiting.
"You drink?" the man asked indifferently, interrupting her thoughts.
"Yeah. Why?"
He shrugged, then turned and started walking away, leaving a confused Lisa behind.
"Where are you going?" she called out to him.
"I already told you…drinking," he said back, not bothering to stop.
Lisa sighed. If Starrk wasn't so damn sexy he would be completely useless. Seeing no other alternative she ran to catch up to him, then struggled to keep up with his long strides all the way to the eleventh division administrative building. She remembered it being a fairly ordinary edifice, much like any of the other divisions. Her time away from Soul Society had apparently involved a few changes, as the place they were headed towards now looked as if a bomb had gone off inside it at some point.
Far from rendering it uninhabitable, from the sound of it there appeared to be a raucous and particularly violent party going on. The noise was deafening from outside and Lisa did not relish the idea of entering the madhouse.
She followed behind Starrk as he opened the door and stepped into what could only be described as complete insanity. Men were everywhere…standing, sitting, lying, fighting, but as soon as they saw the lazy lieutenant they parted like a hooker's legs. Lisa made sure to stay close, not wanting to get lost in the throng of testosterone that closed right back up after they passed.
She tripped on the foot of some poor guy who was out cold, and would have gone down if she hadn't reached out and grabbed Starrk's robe. He paused for a moment, not bothering to turn around, and allowed her to regain her footing before starting again.
Finally, they turned into some kind of assembly room. Starrk reached behind him, grabbing Lisa's hand that she hadn't realized was still holding his shirt, and pulled until she stood directly beside him.
"Fancy meeting you here."
Lisa couldn't hide her disbelief when she saw Kukaku seated at the table in front of her leaning heavily on Kenpachi's leg. Also present were Shunsui, Kisuke and her fellow Visored Shinji. It was almost a relief to have another lady present. She was sure she would be the only woman in attendance. And with this lot, that could lead to trouble… the kind she preferred to watch rather than be a part of.
"You look different," their murderous host grunted as he eyed Lisa. "Why ya got on those weird ass clothes?"
Lisa's eye twitched dangerously. "I always wear these clothes." What was he talking about?
Zaraki turned to Shunsui, completely ignoring Lisa, "So you and the wolf sharing your lieutenant now?" Her former captain chuckled, but before he could answer, the spikey-haired man looked back to Lisa. "They ain't broke ya in half yet? You must be stronger than ya look."
All eyes turned to Lisa and Starrk who, she only just realized, were still holding hands. It was now perfectly clear there had been a mix-up in the mighty Kenpachi's thought process. She quickly snatched her fingers from Starrk's grasp, "I'm not Nanao, you nimrod," she said through clenched teeth. "And nobody's sharing her or anybody else."
"Speak for yourself, four eyes," Kukaku blurted out.
Kenpachi grunted again. "Ya look the same."
This was going nowhere, and she wasn't the only one that thought so. Bored with their senseless conversation, Starrk moved toward the table and squeezed his way between Shunsui and Kisuke. He lifted the two men's hats from their heads, switching Kisuke's green striped bucket with Shunsui's sakkat before taking a seat and helping himself to the saké. Both of the headwear aficionados now gazed at one another with a sort of inebriated confusion, as if unable to comprehend the drastic change in their appearances that had taken place.
"Are you… me?" the head of the eighth slurred.
"No…" His drunken cohort's face then took on a shade of confusion. "Unless you're now me… then I'd have no alternative but to be you…for the sake of universal continuity. See what I mean?"
It was clear he did not, and they continued gazing at each other in search of an answer.
"You two look retarded," Shinji commented.
"You really do," Kukaku agreed.
Shunsui then leapt upright, threw his arms wide and proclaimed in a loud voice, "I AM KISUKE URAHARA!" before falling spectacularly on his ass.
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